JAYDEN

I am hurt.

I already expected I would be even before I returned to Ravenwood, this is not the surprising part. I am just irked by how well Skylar and Jake jell together. Not only do they get along great for a new couple, but their chemistry together is off the charts.

This is not easy for me to admit, but the most painful part of it all is not that I am alone again. I have no problem with being alone. But the issue is that I now find myself at a crossroads.

On Thursday, Jake and Seth were talking about his need to select a new prospect because Alpha Frederick will not let him graduate from Ravenwood unprospected. And if he does not select a partner for himself, his father will come here and do that himself. I am pleased to report that my mother is not that kind of parent or Alpha.

She would never come here solely with the purpose of selecting a prospect candidate for me against my wishes. Nevertheless, I do have a responsibility before my parents and our pack. I did not come here to Colorado to enjoy the cold weather and communicate with privileged brats, I came here with a clear purpose of establishing a lasting partnership.

I cannot stand here idle, pretending that this isn't my obligation as the future Alpha of my pack. It would be a slap on the face to my family to leave this prestigious academy unprospected. I have a duty to fulfill and I am well aware of that obligation.

With that being said, is there an Omega that catches my eye now that Jake and I are over? No, there is not. The few Omegas of note - non-scholarship students - are already taken, most of them are females anyway. I cannot prospect any other breed for obvious reasons - I need an heir eventually - so that only leaves me the male Omegas, scholarship students just like Jake.

I have no problem in prospecting another scholarship student, I did not come here with the pressure of making an advantageous match - if I do, that would be great - so I am free to choose whoever I wish.

But the problem for me is I don't want to choose anybody whatsoever. I am far from being over Jake, so there is that. On the other hand, if I don't select someone soon, the choice will be removed from me and eventually, there will only be the sorriest of candidates. Then what?

I don't want to select an Omega because he is the only one left at the school, for example. That would be awful for him and me. So you see, this is my dilemma. I cannot afford to waste any time because time waits for no unattached werewolf.

If I don't make a move, soon I will have the choice taken away from me. And if I leave this place unprospected, it would be terrible for my pack and disrespectful to my family - that includes my overbearing grandfather, who runs this school. Can you imagine the disappointment on his face if his own grandson doesn't make a match here?

I am between a rock and a hard place. No choice is good enough for me, but failing to choose is just as terrible. I guess they didn't account for broken hearts when they built this curriculum. It's literally 'thank you, next'.

Of course, I would like to say that Jake is irreplaceable but he isn't. He is not my mate - my grandmother was irreplaceable to my grandfather, who has remained single since she passed away three years ago - so I don't have that excuse, nor would I want to.

It's do or die out here. There is no time to wallow in self-pity, as much as I would love to have that kind of time. Now what do I do about that? What are my choices moving forward?

Hell if I know. But the truth of the matter is staring all the single students in our faces. Our parents are coming here next week and we have nothing to show for, not a single prospect locked - though there are some cases of couples who haven't been approved by both sets of parents yet, but that is to be decided in the coming days.

I would estimate that there are still 90 students to pair up, give or take. That is still a whopping amount considering the total residents of the academy are 160. This is why there will be a party tomorrow, for these students to get a move on their prospects. And that includes me.

I really wish it didn't. I wish I still had Jake, but that ship has sailed into a hot new Alpha.

That's life for you. Nothing is guaranteed, which is why mates were a thing for werewolves. They were guaranteed for every single werewolf. Why did we fuck that up? I would love my mate so hard... especially now. I would kill for a mate right about now... O.o

I cried desperate tears over losing Jake, but unfortunately for me, there is no more time to cry. I have to make a decision sooner rather than later. I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to choose anyone, but refusing to choose will only lead to heartbreak later. Again, I cannot afford to leave this place unprospected.

It's Friday morning in Colorado, the sixth of December.

Students are buzzing about tomorrow's party and everyone is apprehensive about our upcoming parents' visit. We have seven days to make magic or our parents only visit before graduation will be for nothing. Goddess only knows that my parents don't need to visit Ravenwood because they are both alumni of this academy.

They will probably choose to skip it altogether, to be honest. And that would be low key humiliating for me, who would be forced to watch all the other students' parents visiting them except for mine. Yeah, I don't need any more humiliation in my life. I just want to be like any other pupil of this academy.

I sit down to eat my breakfast in the Alpha section of the cafeteria, quietly rumbling through my scattered thoughts. What am I supposed to do with myself? Should I take the "easy" route? Should I really do that to HIM? I am not so sure, to be honest.

I am terrified of ending up alone in the coming year. I don't want to attend this school until April, only to be humiliated by not having anybody to claim at the ceremony. I cannot even imagine the scene... It would be mortifying as an Alpha and as a Lockwood. Oh, my Goddess!

"You look troubled, friend. Are you okay? You know, aside from the obvious?" Roberto asked me, sitting beside me at the rectangular table. By obvious, he meant the breakup with Jake, I am sure.

"Not really. I don't know who to prospect now. Do you have any idea of who you are going to make a play for yourself?" I answered, sincerely. I am lost and worried about this, legitimately. At first, I thought I'd have more time to move on from my devastating heartbreak. Alas...

"Nobody wants to be prospected by me because they don't want to leave America. That's fine. I already expected as much when I agreed to come here. This was just an opportunity to visit your country." He replied, sorrowful. Wow! Here I am feeling sorry for myself when he is in much worse shape than I am.

"I'm so sorry to hear this, Roberto. If it makes you feel any better, if you were an Omega, I'd prospect you in a heartbeat. You're so hot!" I tried to make him feel better and he laughed at this. Out loud.

Is this a good time to mention that when he takes a shower, Roberto gets dressed outside of the shower stall, stark naked? My eyes almost left the socket when I first saw him nude. Just saying...

"Thank you, Jayden. You are a good guy. I am sure whoever you choose for yourself will be a happy man." He told me with a sweet smile.

"And you are very hot as well." He continued, winking at me playfully.

I don't know why, but that actually made me feel a bit better for some reason.

"Is it weird for me to say that I'd love to see the two of them making out?" Skylar interjected, looking at Kyle across from him on the table. Both Roberto and I gasped in shock at his words.

Kyle growled at his friend.

"Yes, it would be very weird!" He snapped at Skylar, angrily. Why is he angry? Shouldn't I be the angry one? I am not amused by this, but I am not angry. We are all queer men, last time I checked. I mean the four of us in this conversation.

"Why are your eyes shining in rage? Shouldn't THEY be offended by this instead of you?" Skylar questioned his friend, puzzled by this. Yeah, I agree with him on this one. *eye roll*

"Because you stole his prospect and now you want to see him making out with another guy! That's fucked up!" Kyle raged, revolted by this proposition for some reason I do not quite understand yet.

"Skylar did not steal anybody! I said this already! I was the one who lost Jake! Skylar didn't do anything illegal or act behind my back against me, as far as I know." I defended him of all people. Look at me now... *gasp*

Literally, the entire room was taken aback by my words, staring at me wide-eyed in horror.

"What he said." Skylar concurred, as shocked by my declaration as the other students around us.

We exchanged some uncomfortable stares among the four of us and I resumed eating my food. What was that all about? Why was Kyle angry? At least, if Roberto was angry, I would've understood. Kyle wasn't even mentioned in the conversation.

"I did not expect to hear that today." Jake stated in the Omega section of the cafeteria.

"Me neither. But I would love to see them making out as well." Seth snickered with a naughty grin. Skylar laughed as he heard that several tables away from his brother.

"Why was Kyle so angry at Sky?" Jake wondered, puzzled by this fact.

"Hell if I know." Seth muttered, lying through his teeth. His heartbeats were elevated. I am too far away from him to hear them, but Jake is right in front of him.

"Oh, my Goddess!" Jake gasped in shock, staring at Seth in awe.

"What?" He looked at his roommate, perplexed by his shocked expression.

"It was him, wasn't it?" Jake questioned him, barely able to contain himself in ecstasy.

"What are you talking about, lunatic?" Seth looked confused by his question.

"Roberto was the guy you saw making out with Kyle the other day!" Jake exclaimed, putting two and two together. That is when the students were shocked to hear this.

"Oh, my Goddess!" Skylar gaped at Kyle, wide-eyed at the revelation.

"Shut up!" Kyle was revolted for having his secret rendezvous discovered.

"Another Alpha? Bold move! Is he a good kisser?" Skylar could not contain himself in curiosity at the salacious gossip.

"No comment." He snarled at him, irritated.

"Wow. You and Kyle? Really? Good for you!" I told Roberto, impressed by him. I would never waste my time with another Alpha, but I am not saying I disapprove of them. It's just not the point of this academy in particular.

"We were just having fun. It's nothing serious, it can't be. But it gets lonely here sometimes." Roberto told me, vulnerably.

"You can say that again..." I mumbled, relating to him.

Oh Goddess... how lonely will this place get to be from now until April? Will I survive this coming Winter?

I return home for the holidays in just eleven days, but what about January? Am I really supposed to stare at an entire school full of hormonal teenagers making out and making plans while I remain lonely as hell?

No, that will not do. Even though I can endure the loneliness, I cannot face the shame of not having a partner set up for my future. I am sorry, but that won't happen. It's not possible for me. I sympathize with Roberto, but when he returns to Rio de Janeiro there will be a plethora of hot boys for him to choose from. I cannot return to Georgia a single man - though I would love nothing more than to select a guy from my home State if that were possible.

As the day went by, one thought kept running through my mind. What am I to do with myself? What about my future?

It's sometime past 8 p.m.

I walked out of my dorm room in the direction of the staircase that connects all three floors. I climbed down the stairs, already dined and showered, dressed in plain clothes for the night. As I reached the Gamma House, I walked past Skylar and Jake making out in the common area.

They were both shocked to see me there, but I paid them no mind. I didn't come downstairs to watch them eating each other's faces. In fact, I didn't even stop walking as I passed them by. I am a man on a mission and they are just collateral damage.

I knocked at (one of) the dorm room(s) and after a moment, a shocked Seth opened the door for me.

"If you're looking for Jake, he's not here." He warned me, innocently.

"I know, I just passed him making out with your brother. I actually came to talk to you. Is it okay if I come in?" I asked him, while he was surprised to see me there.

"Of course." He gently made way for me to enter the room, then offered me a chair to sit down. He looked rather spooked to see me in his dorm room alone, but that was kind of the point. I knew the newly formed couple would be all over each other on a Friday night such as this. I am not stupid.

"Well, what can I do for you?" Seth asked me, curiously.

"Funny you should ask... I don't even know what to do with myself." I replied, unintentionally cryptic. Failing at being funny. This is only slightly uncomfortable... O.o

https://youtu.be/gbKvJ3-c0EA

A|N: What does Jayden want with Seth?

I guess you should really check out the next chapter.

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Surprise yourself with the twists that are yet to come... a shocker is on the horizon.

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Love,

Léo.