JAYDEN

I am destroyed.

For the first time since I started attending Ravenwood, I dreaded coming back here.

I knew that once Jake spent some time with Skylar, he would charm the pants right off of him - not literally, but who knows at this point... I was fully aware I had completely lost my only chance when I went after Skylar like I did, not that it stopped me from committing such a heinous attack against him. If remorse was a poison, I would be dead by now.

I deeply regret my actions on that fateful day. I should never have come guns a blazing at Skylar, turning him into a victim. That was mighty stupid of me. But then again, it was just the final nail in the coffin of my relationship with Jacob.

I think that deep down it is why I reacted so viscerally the way I did, because I knew that Dr. Anderson's rejection of me was of my own design. I put her up to it, by being a jealous freak - being jealous of Jake's dream of Sky. If I behaved like a normal person, she would have never known about it and therefore she would not have had a reason to reject me. I did this to myself and that is what hurts the most.

I am not going to dwell on everything I did wrong in my relationship with Jake, which is well documented by now, but I cannot lie that coming back to Ravenwood after two weeks will leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I mean, it already feels like I am walking on death row.

I arrived on Monday evening, the last day of my suspension, only to find my roommate looking giddy with excitement and happier than I have ever seen him so far. The boy looked like someone who had just won the lottery - pretending for a moment that he isn't already filthy rich - he was daydreaming on his bed inside our dorm room in the Alpha House.

Naturally, my presence startled him as I entered our room, but I did not come to fight. Far from it, actually.

"Welcome back!" He greeted me, a smile plastered across his face.

"Thank you, Sky. Somehow, I have a distinct feeling that the reason behind your smile isn't because of my return to the academy." I told him, already anticipating this having something to do with Jake.

"You're right, it isn't. But that doesn't mean I cannot be happy for your return as well." He said, humbly. It's like he knows he won, but he is not rubbing it in my face. Though there was never any competition between us in the first place, to assume so was my first mistake.

I dropped my luggage next to my wardrobe and he got up from the bed to hug me, opening his arms to properly greet me. I hate that he is being the bigger person, but I have to appreciate the olive branch. I can't afford not to.

He hugged me and I whispered in his ears how sorry I was for everything, which is true. I have never been more sorry about a mistake than the one I made with him. However, the biggest mistake I made was to underestimate him and his powers of persuasion. He is a charmer through and through.

"I really mean it, I am more sorry than you will ever know!" I reiterated, emotional at this reunion.

"I accept your apologies and I owe you one as well." Skylar surprised me the most so far with his remorseful expression.

"Why?" I asked him, puzzled by this. What could he have done to grant me an apology?

"I envied you. All this started because I wanted what you had with Jake. Somehow it all clicked in my head that I should be pursuing something in the mold of what you had with him, but I ended up pursuing him instead. I know I shouldn't have done that, but in my mind, he was the only person who I knew would never go for me just because of my wealth and last name. I didn't know any other person here, scholarship student or not, who would not have said yes to me because I am a Stronghold. So, I tried to steal him from you and I know it was a dick move on my part. Maybe if we had become friends like your grandfather expected when he put us together, this whole situation could have turned out differently. But since I owed you no loyalty, I had no problem going for your prospect. I cannot say that I regret that decision, obviously, but I know that was not okay as far as the 'bro code' is concerned. I apologize for that. I did not expect to end up falling in love with him and..."

"I get it." I cut him off after an extensive rant. Wow, I did not expect this to happen tonight.

"Jake is very easy to fall in love with. And the fact that he doesn't know how precious he actually is makes him even more endearing." I continued, looking like I was about to cry.

"Again, I am so sorry for everything. I promise you this was never about taking him away from you. I have absolutely nothing against you, roomie. I swear!" Skylar declared what I already knew. Yes, we were never friends like roommates are supposed to be, but that does not mean that he is some kind of villain. I know that. I believe everything that he has told me thus far, which is even worse.

"I believe you, Sky. But it doesn't matter anyway, my heart is still going to be broken!" I exclaimed, feeling the pain of the upcoming breakup with Jake. I don't want to lose him, I never did. My sweet, precious Omega, why did I ever lose sight of the beautiful relationship that we had? Why did I let my grandfather cloud my judgment?

https://youtu.be/z79R0Dw0fQs

I should never have allowed my mother to say no to him without a proper sit down with Jake. I should have fought harder for him. I should have never allowed anyone to get in the way of our relationship, but now it's too late.

I stood there, in pain, tears filling my eyes, devastated over the loss of a sweet person like Jacob. He should have been my prospect partner, my lovely Omega, my man, my Luna. Oh Goddess, what have I done? Who is going to love me now?

I rushed to the bathroom before Skylar saw me crying. I did not want to see Jake tonight, but if I don't then tomorrow is going to be even worse during classes. I hate to be feeling so vulnerable like this... why did I have to lose the love of my life?

Later that night, I was reluctant to knock at Jake and Seth's dorm room in the Gamma House. But I knew it was my only shot at doing this privately. Everything is always so public in this academy, but not this. We are entitled to our privacy, even from Seth.

I wish I could pretend that Jake wanted to talk to me about him discovering that he has no feelings for Skylar. I wish I could pretend I didn't know what he wanted to talk to me about. I wish I could live in a world where Jake would be mine forever and we would break the curse just with the power of our love. That would've been so cool...

I unraveled in never ending tears after Jake confirmed that he wanted to end things with me. I cried to the point of going into despair. I begged him not to leave me, I cannot help but feel like I am losing the love of my life. This is so painful...

I cried in his arms, desperately pleading with him not to leave me. I wanted him so much that I ended up losing him. My heart has been shattered in a thousand pieces and I don't know if I will ever recover from this. It is hurting like hell!

"Please, Jake, don't leave me!" I begged him, bawling like a baby, incapable of processing such a terrible loss. I am destroyed by this, devastated, wrecked by the loss of my sweet Omega. The one who conquered my heart like nobody else before him.

Jake comforts me as he shares my pain for the breakup. He took the time to be with me, explaining that he did not anticipate developing feelings for Skylar the way he did. He did not want to leave me, but he was forced to do so. He did not mean to fall in love with my roommate, it just happened.

He doesn't know how or why, it just did.

I am heartbroken about this, utterly destroyed by this breakup. How could I ever move on from this? Who is going to love me now that Jake is no longer an option?

I apologized to him for all the times that I behaved poorly around him. I should never have doubted him for one single second. I let my insecurities show and I shouldn't have. If only I knew just how much I stood to lose... now the man of my life is gone forever.

Jake offered his bathroom to allow me to pull myself together. It was getting late and Seth had been away from his dorm room for nearly two hours as we said our goodbyes. I mean, as we broke things off.

Oh, Goddess... I did not want to be separated from him tonight. I wish I could have one more night with him, but I am not going to ask him that. It is not fair to him or Seth, for that matter. I cannot displace a person from their room and I certainly cannot take him to mine.

"One more thing I should tell you." Jake told me with a dreadful tone as I came back from the restroom. I washed my face and blew my nose, trying to pull myself together before I walked the halls towards my room on the third floor. I looked at Jake with fear in my eyes.

"I don't want you to be blindsided by this, but Skylar and I have been approved to start contract negotiations." He declared and it was as if my whole world came crashing and burning again.

"Already? How did he get approved by your mother so fast?" I questioned him, baffled by this fact.

"Well, there was a situation with my father that I don't want to bore you with. But the point is that Skylar came into my house last Friday and he asked for my mother's permission to be my prospect. His father had already given his to me, so now we are approved to be each other's prospect." He explained to me, trying to be sensitive about it.

"Wow! It's much worse than I thought." I mumbled, destroyed by this fact. How fast could he pull that off if I did my best to get approval and still failed at it? What does Skylar have that I don't possess? This is so unfair... *misty eyed*

"Congratulations, I guess." I muttered, feeling incredibly miserable. It was a stab in the back how they wasted no time in going at it. All it took was for Jake to go to Texas to confirm what I already suspected. It's over now.

"I am sorry that this happened the way it did. Again, I apologize to you. In no way, I would want you to feel betrayed. I promise you I did not go to Texas thinking that my mother's claim had any foundation. I swear I was blindsided by this just as you." He tried to atone, but at this point, I am not having it.

"Not like me, you weren't. But it's fine. There's no point in dwelling on it now." I stated, disheartened. They sure discovered their feelings quickly if all it took was two weeks for Skylar to be suddenly approved by Dr. Anderson. Whatever... *eye roll*

"Good night, Jake. I hope he makes you happy." I said before leaving his dorm room. Seth was already waiting by the door, eager to return to his bed. He smiled awkwardly at me as I was on my way out of the bedroom.

"Good night, Jay. Thanks for everything. You mean a lot to me, I hope you know that." Jake said with a heart warming tone. Damn, it is hard to be mad at him...

I walked out of the dorm room, feeling glad that most of the students were already in bed by now. It's a school night and the clock is close to midnight. I am tired, I am devastated, I am damaged beyond repair. All I wanted was for things to go back to where they were before I was suspended. But that is never coming back ever again.

I did not know how lucky I was when I had Jake by my side. I took him for granted and somebody swooped in to take him away from me. But if we had a strong foundation, that would never have come to pass. I dropped the ball, but never again will I make the same mistake again.

I shouldn't go to bed angry, but I am. I am furiously mad, mostly at myself.

My sweet Jake, we had such a good run. Please stay, don't take these beautiful things that I have with you. I love you so much... *sobs*

*cries in desperation*

*thinks himself to be unlovable*

*cries himself to sleep*

https://youtu.be/Oa_RSwwpPaA

A|N: That was painful. 😢

Coincidentally, I also just wrote a very painful chapter of "Blood Alpha" as well.

This week is not giving me joy as a writer, but life is not always about the good things. I wish it was, of course. But pain is inevitable.

But don't worry my dear readers, the real pain is yet to come.

You won't know what hit you!

OFF: I wrote the chapter with this song in mind.

Do you want to know what happens next?

Are you dying to discover the brand new twist?

I have EIGHT (8) brand new chapters ready for you at:

patreon.com/LeonardoMontero

Next is "No More Drama".

Love,

Léo.