I am conflicted.

First off, I was very impressed by Skylar flying out to Texas on a Tuesday, missing school in the process, just to try to convince his father to approve of me before Jayden's mother could do the same. It was a race of sorts, but the odds were never in his favor. Our favor.

I am not surprised that his father denied his request, nor did I have the faintest hope that he would ever say 'yes' to a boy like me, even after getting to know me in a stress-free environment. I mean, without the pressure of being presented to him as a prospect.

But if Headmaster Lockwood did all that he could to prevent me from being prospected by Jayden - and he is not a tenth of the man Frederick Stronghold is in terms of relevance and importance - can you imagine the reaction of the powerful Alpha?

No, my dears. I am a grown man who understands how the world works. The real world has no fairytales. I told you before, I came into Ravenwood with the lowest of expectations to maybe, if I am lucky, be prospected by a Beta or even a Gamma.

Jayden is the unicorn, the Alpha who beat the odds. I did not expect to find someone like him here, but I am pleasantly surprised that I did. He is the boy who conquered me. I am thrilled that his mother and I talked and now she can have an informed opinion about me. Unlike what her father had painted of me before.

'Oliver Twist called and he wants the royalties from that tale he spun to her'. Yes, I mean Mr. Dickens. I was just trying to be funny.

However...

There is a devil on my shoulder telling me:

'Why didn't Jayden fight for me sooner?'

'Why did he wait until Sky was in the picture to propose marriage to me?'

Last time I checked, same-sex marriage, has been legal for a decade or more, so it's not like it's a new concept. I understand he got the idea from Skylar last Friday, I do. But still... couldn't he achieve all this before? Did he have to wait for Sky to show interest in me to act the way he did?

There is something to be said about the way Skylar fought for me in a way I would never expect him to. I am not a vain person, per se, but that really moved me beyond words. I am usually not someone a person would travel for six hours - between plane and car rides - just to get a chance to be with me.

Honestly, I am touched by his commitment. He could have just given up after Alpha Lockwood showed up here, but Skylar never did. On the contrary, he was emboldened by that. It propelled him to set his sights higher and secure that coveted stamp of approval from his father.

It did not pan out the way he desired, but you know what they say... it's the thought that counts. In this case, the grand gesture, and I am in awe of him.

Don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy to potentially be prospected by Jayden. He is a great guy who loves me. I could not ask for a better match here in Ravenwood.

Still, I wonder what would have happened if Skylar was never in the picture.

I understand that he said he was fighting for me in the shadows, quietly. I know he is more of a reserved person, I have nothing against that. I am too for most of the time. But there is something about Skylar's gesture that really moved me to tears, it was so honorable.

He is an impressive Alpha with a bright future with whoever he prospects here. Lucky girl. Or boy. Or non-binary individual. Whoever they are, I am a little bit jealous of them. I can not lie, nor can I hide. Again, I am not unhappy with Jayden, he is wonderful. I love him.

I am just wondering.

https://youtu.be/Wc8008B4ENI

It's Thursday morning. After Skylar's commotion and Alpha Lockwood's trip to Ravenwood - she and her husband went back to Georgia on Tuesday - the students are back to focusing on tomorrow's Harvest Ball.

Or its more popular name...

"I cannot believe neither of us will have to dance at the 'loser' ball. Look at us, kicking ass and taking names!" Seth exclaimed in a good mood on the food line. Everybody was talking about the same thing today. Probably tomorrow as well.

"There is no guarantee that Alpha Lockwood will approve me by tomorrow. And without an email from her, I will have to dance. As will you if your father doesn't email in time." I said, being a downer on his ray of sunshine.

"Why are you sulking? You won. You will get to be prospected by the boy you love. Are you still upset that my father disapproved of you for my brother?" He furrowed his eyebrows at me, intrigued by my depressive mood. I should be celebrating.

"To be upset, I would've needed to be surprised by his decision. I am not in the slightest. I am happy to have the chance to be with Jayden, I am just in my head about something." I told the first part of that sentence in a snarky tone.

"Do you regret not having kissed my brother when you had the opportunity?" He asked me with a mischievous grin.

"NO!" I cried out, revolted by his implication. As if...

"That's not it. Trust me, if anything I am relieved we didn't kiss. Ironically, I felt closer to him without any physical intimacy. Just to sleep next to him with my head on his chest was enough for me. I didn't need anything else." I explained myself to him. Not going to lie, I loved that for us. Who needs sex to be close to someone? I never felt closer to anybody like that before, except for Jayden of course.

At that point, the Alphas hadn't arrived yet but their hearing capabilities sure beat them to it. A few moments later...

"I miss that too, to be honest. And you still can kiss me anytime. It's not against the law, last time I checked." Skylar appeared in the cafeteria with a flirtatious smile next to a furious Jayden.

"Keep it up and you won't live to prospect anybody else in this school." He threatened him, livid.

The two roommates were staring at each other in defiance as they stood in line for breakfast. I could feel Jayden already about to explode at Skylar.

"Don't worry, roomie. I don't intend to prospect anyone else here." The Alpha twin declared and we all gasped in shock.

"What?!" Seth stared at him, wide-eyed.

"There is only Jake for me here, brother. If I can't have him, I don't want anybody else." He stated and everybody was staring at him in shock. Then what is he going to do here until April?

"That's not going to go well with our father." Seth muttered, concerned for his brother.

"He should be glad I can't marry Jake. I mean, I can but he would never agree to it. He has too much integrity to say yes, which funny enough is one of the main qualities a Luna should have." He blurted, annoyed at his father's refusal to approve me.

Jayden is fuming at his declaration. He is practically releasing smoke from his ears.

"I would never want you to be unhappy on my account, Sky. I promise I will not be offended if you move on from me. I care about you enough to be happy for you with whoever you choose." I told him, troubled by that declaration. His father will find a way to blame me for this, not that I care about his opinion. The only man whose voice matters to me is my grandfather.

"Don't worry, Jake. It's not about you. I mean, it is. But what I want isn't here. Maybe I can find it when I go to college or down the line. Honestly, I lost the taste for it. The only reason I am staying here is because I can't go to college now and I don't want to be apart from Seth. This may be our last time studying together if he goes to England with Sean." He spoke, vulnerably.

It is endearing to see how much he cares about his brother.

"I am still going to college next Fall. I don't know how my future with Sean will shape up after this. We haven't gotten that far in our conversations. We'll see what Dad wants for me. Goddess knows he must always have an opinion." Seth rolled his eyes, but was also moved by his brother's words.

Later that morning, when we were almost finished with breakfast...

"Are you really not going after anybody else here? For the rest of the school year? We are still in November!" Kyle asked Skylar, completely baffled by his decision.

"I know it sounds out of character for me, but yeah... I don't want anybody else other than Jake. I am not going to play pretend to satisfy my father. If he is unhappy with the way I am doing things, he can choose another heir." He replied, sulking.

There is no other [Alpha] heir. Unless Frederick has an illegitimate child somewhere that nobody knows about and even so, they would not be chosen as his heir. Werewolf packs are very conservative about Alphas only producing heirs with their Lunas. That is why Frederick and Dahlia have an ironclad contract regarding offspring.

"Wow. You are not taking losing well, are you?" Kyle was shocked to see him reacting like that.

"Believe it or not, it's not about losing, Ky. I am not mad about losing to Jay. He is a wonderful guy, Jake will be well taken care of by him. I am sad about missing out on being with someone who could potentially love me for me. Who wouldn't care about my money or the fact that I am a Stronghold. Like I told my father, I should have the right to be with someone who wants to be with me for who I am inside and not what I could bring to them. I never had that in my life and I thought Jake could be that person for me. That's all." Skylar spoke with a rare vulnerability that was breaking my heart.

Gasp! This is really tearing me up inside. Skylar always had a way of speaking and making people listen to him. It's an Alpha quality, but he has that in spades. I am completely in awe of him right now. In fact, I have been since Friday.

"I did not expect to hear that he connected so profoundly with you. I never heard of him speaking about anybody the way he does about you. It's daunting!" Seth commented, perplexed by his brother.

I am baffled beyond words right now. I am speechless.

Later that day, we reunited again for a lunch break in the cafeteria. It's where all the students have our meals and the center for all gossip in Ravenwood. Everybody was excited about tomorrow's ball. Those who would attend, of course.

"Good afternoon, students. The moment you have been waiting for has arrived." Headmaster Lockwood announced through the speaker system of the school. Oh, Goddess!

"The following students are excused from attending tomorrow's Harvest Ball, though I would encourage everyone to still go and have a good time. Nevertheless, here are their names..." He continued, grabbing everybody's attention.

One by one, he named every single student whose parent emailed him their approval. Of course, one set of parental approval means that both of the students are excused from attending. It's a two for one special. And a badge of honor for most pupils, attesting to their success in our purpose here. It's a meat market after all.

"I should have more names for you tomorrow. But for now, have a good day." He concluded in a cheerful tone.

"Shouldn't he have said your name? What about mine?" Seth was puzzled by the lack of mention of our names in the announcement.

"He said there will be more names announced by tomorrow." I told him, trying to sound hopeful. Is it wrong that I kind of wish he wouldn't announce my name until after tomorrow? Am I a horrible person for thinking that?

"Oh right. I forgot two names. Jayden Lockwood Johnson and Jacob Anderson Broderick are also excused from attendance." He announced, begrudgingly.

"Yes!" Jayden cheered loudly at that announcement. I smiled at him for we have secured our victory. Love wins. Our path is clear to be prospected to each other. Yay!

And yet, I can't help but wonder...

What is wrong with me?

I have everything I ever wanted in life. What I have come here to achieve. What do I have to wonder about it? Why do I feel like it's not enough? Why do I feel so empty inside? I mean... What the hell is this feeling?

"Congratulations, Jay. You deserved it." Kyle cheered for him, who was ecstatically happy. Overjoyed. Fulfilled. Realized. While Skylar was in shambles.

"I still think you should give this place a try. Maybe it could surprise you." He tried to cheer Skylar up.

"It already has! I came here a jaded boy who thought money and power were the only commodities that were worth going for. I was wrong, man. I was so wrong! That was never what mattered to the Moon Goddess and that is not what should matter to me. If we all keep aiming at the wrong person, we will never break the curse." He responded, tearfully but passionately.

"Once you had a taste of what could potentially become true love, nothing else will ever be enough. At least not for me." He spoke while tears fell from his cheeks. *sobs*

https://youtu.be/rQWZK5U233s

A|N: BOOM!

Team #Jayke for the win.

I love this song and adore this film.

I promise I will get to that secret in the next chapter.

OFF: If you pretend that Skylar is singing this song to Jake, it is the most romantic thing you'll ever hear. Give it a try! I am emotional right now... It'll Never be Enough for Skylar.

Curiously, it's not the first time it happened with a song from that soundtrack. It's very relatable. This tune could have been written for this chapter it's so perfectly matched.

Next is "From The Bottom of My Broken Heart". Something I never did before in all my previous novels is coming to knock your socks off! Twist!

Love,

Léo.