Sunday dinner should have felt natural. I had learned the names of all the brothers and wives, and even when I got one wrong, they corrected me with little less than a giggle. But the tension between Tim and me clouded the dinner. It wasn't lost on Billy, but he didn't prod. Cards with the girls felt more like home. Even Viv acknowledged my presence a couple of times throughout the afternoon.

"Hey, I have to drop the kids off at Sarah's place. Do you want to come, or do you want me to swing back on my way through?" Billy murmured into my ear as he leaned over my shoulder.

Instinctively, I let a hand slip to his neck to keep him nearby. "With you," I whispered. "Always with you."

He smiled before giving me a gentle kiss. An audible "aw" slipped from a few of the ladies' lips. A flush burned my face at their attention, but Billy soothed it with a soft smile as he pulled away, offering me a hand to his side.

"Too sweet," Abby cooed under her breath.

As we passed her, Billy slightly dipped and murmured, "thank you, Abby." Before straightening. "Ma, I'll call you tonight. Love you all."

"Love you both," Mary called after us.

Viv and Jackson bickered from the back seat as we drove. Billy's hand slipped to its spot on my knee, causing me to smile to myself.

"It happens quickly and should always be enjoyed and protected," Billy murmured, almost to himself.

I leaned into him as his hand lifted from my knee to fall around my shoulders. "What's that?"

"Family." He kissed the top of my head. "Even the fights."

The car pulled to a stop in front of a modern house, reminding me of a realtor I hadn't thought of since her heels clicked away over a decade ago. I wondered if her hair still swayed as one chunk or if she was still showing monstrosities to unsuspecting buyers. I wanted to ask Billy if he remembered her and the cold house she thought would be perfect for him. But instead, he interrupted my thoughts.

"I should say hello," he murmured. "You with me?"

"Always," I murmured.

"You're coming in?" Jackson said in surprise as Billy and I followed him and Viv from the car.

"Just to say hello and merry Christmas," Billy nodded as he took my hand.

"How cordial," Viv groused.

"Hey." Billy dropped my hand and set it on Viv's shoulder. "We'll be up in a minute." Billy nodded to Jackson and me.

"She's afraid," Jackson murmured.

"Afraid of what? I asked.

"That Dad's going to split time between here and Maine," Jackson answered.

"What? No, Jackson, I'm moving here. We're just going to Maine for the holiday because you're with your mom, and Billy would like to say a proper goodbye to my father."

"You're moving here?"

"Yes. This is where your father's life is, and my life is now. He'd never leave you. You know that, right?"

Jackson's eyes dipped.

"Jackson, you realize when he tours, he does it in two-week chunks so he can see you. He wrote that into the custody agreement when you were just a baby. You're his life."

"I know. I just thought with you back."

"I'll do the bending. You keep doing the growing up," I suggested.

Jackson smiled before pushing open the door and allowing a "Ma" to escape his lips and ricochet around the room. It was a valiant Billy impression.

Sarah appeared in the hall, striding towards us with frightening elegance. I had forgotten how intimidating her flawless presentation was.

"Hello, Lily," she greeted without revealing a hint of surprise. "Where's Viv?" She asked Jackson.

"Outside with dad, she's been being a jerk, as usual," he tattled.

"Have you finished your homework?" Sarah prodded.

"Yeah." He sighed in an annoyed whine.

"Including geology?" She prodded with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll go finish it now," he murmured. "Stupid rocks," he added to himself.

"Don't go too far; your father will want to say goodbye," she called after him.

Jackson gave her a nod before scampering away, which left me as the object of her attention. I suddenly felt a foot tall and like I was going to burst into tears.

"I was sorry to hear of your father. I heard only wonderful things about him." She gave the patented side head cock pity smile.

"Thank you," I gave a wince of a smile back.

"I'd like to be friends," she declared in a high-pitched tone. "I know I haven't been the warmest to you in the past, but..." Her words faltered.

"I understand why the past was the past. I'd like to be friends as well."

"Well, I suppose we'll have to do more than declare it to make it so, but at least we both have the same intention." She gave a curt, satisfied nod. "And I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me; for what?"

"Billy and I have been at each other's throats for a decade; whatever you said to him made him pause, which made me pause. I don't dislike you, Lily. I blamed you for things you didn't intentionally do or couldn't control. It was just easier. And Billy was always so quick to defend you that..."

"It hurt you. He should have been quick to defend you," I offered.

"He tried, but I don't think anyone will rise above you, at least not to him." She gave a weak smile.

"Oh, I know that isn't true." As if on cue, Billy and Viv burst through the front door, giggling at each other. I gave Sarah a knowing shrug, which was returned by an appreciative nod.

"Hey, mom," Viv greeted.

"Hey, Vivee. How are things?"

"Fine," the hint of teenaged annoyance was already creeping back into Viv's voice.

"How was the big date?" Sarah asked.

"Mom, you're so embarrassing," Viv shot before darting past her and deeper into the house.

"So, it went that well," Sarah chuckled.

"Yeah, we haven't been discussing Chris as much lately, which I'm pleased about." Billy let a satisfied smile fill his face.

"I'm sure you are." Sarah let out a trill of a laugh. It sounded like birds singing on a summer day.

"So, we're flying out tonight and should be in Portland around 9 pm," Billy began with Sarah.

My mind drifted. It was already nearly 4 pm. There is no way we'd be in Portland by 9 pm. We probably wouldn't even be through security at 9 pm.

"Text us when you safely land," Sarah cordially requested. "Jackson, Viv, your dad and Lily are leaving."

Viv appeared first with bounding enthusiasm. She slid on her socked feet into Billy. "Bye Dad. Don't forget to call when you get there and on Christmas."

"Viv, I'll call you daily; you know that." One of Billy's hands smoothed over Viv's hair. "I love you, kiddo. Have a good time with your mom and be good," he urged.

"I'm always good," Viv protested before sinking her head into his chest and adding, "I love you, Daddy."

Hearing her call Billy daddy made me want to burst into tears from happiness for Billy and deep mourning for myself. I'd never be able to tell my dad I loved him again.

After a long moment, Viv reluctantly pulled away from him. "I'll miss you."

"You won't get a chance, I promise. I'll call every day and see you within the week."

"I'll still miss you," she weakly protested.

"I'll miss you too." He kissed her on the crown of her head before she pulled out of his arms.

"Jackson." Billy didn't let him out of a hug. He pulled Jackson into him.

"Dad, come on," Jackson mildly protested.

"Don't dad come on me," he murmured. "I love you. I'll see you soon. And do your dirt homework."

"Dad, even you admitted that you never use this stuff," Jackson argued.

"But I also said I had to suffer through it. It builds character. Besides, how are you supposed to know if you want to be a scientist if you don't try it out?"

"Really? You think I'll suddenly want to be a scientist?" Jackson objected.

"Remind me to pick you up a book on Tesla," Billy mused.

"Already read one; spoiler alert, he dies poor and crazy. Is that the future you want for your favorite son?"

Billy shook his head at Jackson before adding, "just be good and listen to your mom."

"I will," Jackson mumbled as he pulled away.

"Merry Christmas, Sarah," Billy added as they stiffly embraced.

Viv's eyes widened in surprise as her mouth fell open like she was going to say something, but Jackson slapped her shoulder to stop her.

"Merry Christmas, Billy; safe travels," Sarah murmured as they parted.

"So," Billy sighed once we were safely in the car.

"Yeah, that was..." I stopped myself before committing to the whirl of words in my head.

"Awkward. It seemed like a good idea, and then the second I touched her, I realized that was the first time we had hugged in a decade."

"What? No way."

"I don't remember any other time," his head absently shook as he tried to recall their last embrace.

"It's good. It's good for the kids to see you guys trying."

"Yeah." Billy's eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it. "I think it's good."

"Now, I have a question."

"Shoot," he said as his hand slipped to my knee.

"How on earth are we going to get to Portland, Maine, in five hours?"

"Lil." Billy stiffened. "Can you not get all Lil about this?"

"Private plan, huh?"

"It's easier," Billy whined.

"For whom?"

"For us!"

"Ugh, you're so spoiled," I challenged.

"I'm not spoiled. I worked hard to get where I am. How would you like it if I said you were spoiled because of your office or title?" It was clear Billy had expected my response.

"That's different," I argued.

"That's not different. I've worked hard. I should enjoy some perks, and I should get to share them with you without having to hear about it."

"Okay, first, you started this without me saying a word."

"I believe spoiled is a word," he shot.

"I only called you spoiled after you told me not to be all 'Lil' about this," I reminded him.

"And then you went all Lil about it."

"I'm not a verb," I argued as my jesting curdled to genuine annoyance.

"Oh, sweetheart, I love you with all of my heart, but you have been a verb since I laid eyes on you."

"What does that even mean?"

"You know Serat?" He began.

"Don't you even..." I warned.

"Well, you're too close to see what the verb Lil means. It's not your fault."

"That's so condescending," I fought back.

"So, now I'm spoiled and condescending." Billy nodded as his words came quickly with annoyance.

"Yes, and stubborn and frustrating."

"Oh, I'm not the stubborn and frustrating one. You wear those crowns, my dear."

"Ugh, I hate when we fight, and you call me falsely endearing names," I noted.

"Well, I hate when we fight about things that I've worked my ass off to get."

"Oh, just say it, Billy; you know you want to."

"Fine, I'm not a fucking mechanic from Duluth, Lil. I have access to a private jet, so it'd be stupid not to use it, especially if it means I get to spend more time with my kids. You shouldn't make me feel guilty about that."

"Fine, whatever," I pouted.

"Ugh, you hate when I use pet names in a fight? Well, I wouldn't say I like it when you say whatever. I'm not too fond of it when Viv says it, and I'm not too fond of it when you say it. It's fucking annoying."

"Mmhmm, whatever."

"No wonder you're fighting with Tim."

I could feel my blood boil within me but managed an "mmhmm, whatever."

"You can be so infuriating sometimes; you know that?"

"As can you," I mumbled as Billy lurched the car to a hard stop. "I still love you," I added without lifting my angry tone.

"Of course, and I still love you," Billy concurred in his equally annoyed tone before pulling himself from the car and slamming the door with more force than he needed.

I didn't bother to slam my door; I knew it'd have a pathetic effect compared to Billy's bang. I just met him at the trunk and tried to pull my bag.

"I got it, Lil," Billy grumbled.

"I can carry my bag," I argued.

"I know you can carry your bag, but you won't be when I'm around."

"I want to carry my bag," I demanded.

"Really? You want to carry your bag. That's what you want. All day, you've just been dying to drag luggage around a fucking parking lot."

"Yes, it's the simple things that please me. I want to carry my luggage, and I was looking forward to half a can of lukewarm ginger ale in a plastic cup, which I probably won't be getting now because we aren't flying commercial."

"Fine." Billy threw his hands up and backed away from my bag in the trunk.

I could feel him smirking as I clumsily pulled it from the truck and wrestled the handle into the extended position.

"Happy?" He teased.

"Very." I nodded curtly before confidently pacing away from him. Well, almost confidently, we were still in Duluth in December, which means ice. So, I took about two confident strides before hitting an ice patch and was down on my ass before I knew what had happened.

"Lil," panic was in Billy's voice. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," I said as I obstinately brushed his hands away from me.

"Oh, for the love of all that's... will you just be reasonable for a minute?"

"How am I not being reasonable?"

"Lil, you just fell. There's more ice to be ventured across." He held a hand to me and added, "if you won't let me help you with your bag, at least let me provide a steady hand."

There was only the slightest hint of annoyance left in him. His big hazel eyes instead gazed down at me with tender care.

"Fine," I said as I clung to my anger. "But only because you asked so nicely."

"Mmhmm, because I asked so nicely," he murmured as I grasped his arm for support.