"I've lived too long with pain. I won't know who I am without it." - Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game

"No", Neil turned to glare at Samaira and spoke through gritted teeth, "This is not happening, not on my watch", his voice went angrier as he turned his back to her, taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself down.

"They are our friends Neil", Samaira sighed, and held her head in her hands, letting the tears fall freely as she sat on the couch behind him.

"They are your friends Sam", Neil turned around and softened hearing her cry, but didn't let go off his words, "I am not letting anyone meet Abhi unless he wants to. As simple as that", Neil stated stubbornly, and sat down beside her, taking her in his embrace and letting her break down into soft sobs on his chest.

"It's his choice Sam, and you have to respect that. I can't forget his fearful eyes when Shaheen just talked about visiting Mumbai. He had a panic attack right after. He literally begged me to not take him there, I can't and won't do that to him", Neil remained firm on his decision, even when he simultaneously rubbed Samaira's back to comfort her.

"You think I don't understand?", Samaira asked breaking the hug to look at Neil, a bitter smile forming on her face, "Nobody more than me had seen him suffering Neil. I have been with him when he woke up with nightmares and I was with him when he lay in that hospital bed, threatening to go into a coma after that stroke. I know and I understand his hesitation. I feel his pain Neil", Samaira broke down again, this time fishing his shirt as she rested her forehead against his chest.

"Then why are you being stubborn about it?", Neil questioned back, failing to grasp what Samaira had been trying to convey.

Samaira sighed, breaking the hug. She wiped her face with her hands and scooted a little away, turning her body to completely face him.

"Why do you think Abhi is so reluctant to meet them?", Samaira asked, raising an eyebrow, "Do you think he is guilty?"

"Of course not! What nonsense! I never believed that rubbish theory of Kabir all these years ago even when you didn't know the honest truth about what exactly happened. Today we know what happened. Why are you asking such a stupid question?", Neil was baffled at her and that made Samaira smile.

Neil's love and protective attitude for Abhi always melted her heart.

" I didn't know the truth. Kabir didn't know the truth. But two people always did, Roshni and Abhi. Roshni might have been completely unaware of the hell that befell us but Abhi always knew he was falsely accused. He wasn't guilty of what he was blamed for. It wasn't the guilt that caused him so much pain that he wanted to give up. It wasn't the reason he never defended himself", Samaira spoke, exhaling heavily as she paused for a moment and looked at her boyfriend frowning at her.

"It was trust. His trust was broken. His faith was destroyed. Why did you think he didn't show his face to his mother? It was because like all of us, she also broke his unwavering belief in goodness of the world. In love. That good happens to good people", Neil's eyes widened as he finally understood what Samaira was trying to say.

"I think all he had ever wanted was to be trusted for once. He wanted the people he hopelessly loved to believe in him - that he would never go against his mother's teachings, that he can never dishonor a woman, that he can't keep his selfish happiness over someone he considered as a brother. That was what broke him so bad. That was why he never defended himself. That was why he bore the punishment he was thrown into without complaining. His trust had been shattered - in himself more than anything else", tears rolled down her eyes as her shoulders shook.

"He believes he wasn't worthy enough for them, for us to atleast ask him about what went wrong. He hates himself because he thinks he had never mattered enough", Neil gasped out the words as he finally realized Abhimanyu's state of mind in depth, "That's why it was so easy for him to accept Shaheen too hated him when you said that to him".

Samaira nodded.

"Mrs. Khan explained all this to me. I don't know how and I am so glad she does, but she understands what he doesn't speak. This wasn't just about earning Shaheen's forgiveness for him, he wanted to be forgiven by God for being himself - for being worthless", Samaria continued, "Shaheen says he is alive because of me but I always say he is alive because of her. Spirituality brought him peace Neil, it made him feel better about himself. Mrs. Khan literally held his broken pieces together and joined them back as much as she could by this unwavering love and trust nobody else could show him", Samaira smiled, shaking her head as the incidents danced before her eyes.

"He doesn't want to meet them because he is scared of that brutality again. He is scared of those words Kabir might speak which would tear him apart. And even if he didn't do anything to Roshni, he feels she would hate him too. And that's exactly why I want him to meet them. He needs to see for himself they don't. Otherwise he would always be stuck in this mess", Samaira concluded, looking at Neil with hopeful eyes. Neil didn't know what to say. He still wasn't sure this was a good idea.

"It would be late night by the time they reach us. Let's sleep on it. We would see what's to be done tomorrow", Neil answered, not knowing how else to put it. Samaira nodded, at least he didn't outrageously deny like he had been doing the entire day.

She hoped for things to go how she was thinking they would go. If nothing else, Abhi deserved this closure.

-------

The bell rang at 11:30 in the night, and Samaira who had been impatiently waiting literally ran to get the door.

When the door opened, her eyes first fell on Shaheen but immediately deflected to her side, where a teary eyed Roshni was standing with her support.

Her own tears rolled down her cheeks and before she knew she was hugging the life out of Roshni, half laughing and half sobbing. Shaheen chuckled at the dramatic reaction and entered inside first, her eyes immediately darting to Abhi's room.

"He is asleep", Neil whispered in her ear, startling her and that was when she realized he was standing by her side. Her lips curved up in a grateful smile that he acknowledged with one of his own.

By the door, the two girls were still hugging each other, but Samaria was also growing conscious of another set of eyes on her - the one she was purposely avoiding.

Kabir's words still rang in her ears and no matter how much she tried she hadn't forgotten them. He might be mistaken, but that didn't give him the right to judge her friendship.

When she couldn't avoid anymore she broke the hug and looked up, his eyes meeting hers. She simply nodded, and didn't even wait for his reaction, rather focused her energy in helping Roshni inside.

Shaheen watched them settle down on the couch, and sigh as they looked around the house that was more than home to them.

Nothing much had changed, yet everything had.

She watched Samaira bring water for them, she sipped on the glass trying to soothe her parched throat, but that was all her patience could bear. At that moment she cared less for an excuse or how anyone perceived her.

She needed to see him.

So she looked up at Neil who nodded at her with a kind smile and that was all the encouragement she needed to immediately excuse herself and rush to his room.

-------

He was asleep when she reached his room, sleeping on his back, his head tilted to the left. His soft hair would keep flickering from the fan above, and the thin quilt he was wrapped in had moved away from one side.

Shaheen's eyes filled up as she took slow steps to reach his bed side and then sit by it. Her hand trembled as she ran her fingers through his hairs. He slightly moved, but didn't wake up.

She wished she could look at him and exclaim about how peaceful he looked, like they used to do years ago when he would take multiple naps during all the group study sessions.

"He sleeps like a baby", she remembered her own voice laughing at him while he slept without a care in the world. Right now, he looked so disturbed, frown lines marring his forehead.

She tried to smoothen them out, smiling softly at him and then, against everything she believed in, she did what she thought felt right. She leaned in and kissed his forehead gently, and then rested her forehead against his.

The tears she hadn't realized but had escaped out, touched the skin of his forehead like subtle rain drops on a dry land, and his eyes flickered open. A heavy weight on his right hand made it impossible for him to move but he soon realized it was Shaheen holding his hand tight. It was then he became aware of the crying mess she was.

"Shaheen", he smiled before calling her out and she immediately straightened up with a jerk, more concerned about breaking his sleep than being embarrassed about her self.

"How are you feeling now? Did I wake you up? I am so sorry -", she broke into a nervous fit until she felt him squeeze her hand back with a genuine smile.

"Stop crying", he raised his free hands to wipe her cheeks. She literally froze in the moment his hand touched her cheeks.

Something shifted between them in that one moment.

Something that was as minuscule as nothing, and as significant as everything.

Something that had no name, but it filled both their hearts with something akin to joy.

She tried to free her hand but he shook his head, almost pouting at her. It made her giggle in between her misty eyes.

"Stay like how you were before. It felt good", his voice dropped down to a whisper as he closed his eyes, not wanting to make her uncomfortable and wanting her to stay at the same time.

Shaheen considered for a second but who was she kidding? She would give anything for him to have a moment of relief.

She leaned forward again and rested her forehead against his. He sighed in peace, tightening his grip on their joint hands.

In that quite uncomfortable position, Shaheen fell asleep, her heart happier than it had been in a long time.

Neil who had come to call Shaheen grinned and closed the door behind him, letting them have the moment.

Maybe these friends still had some hope.