~ We shape clay into a pot, but it's the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want!
-Lao Tzu~

Shaheen gulped in a nervous excitement as she plated the sweet dish she had so painstakingly prepared, her hands sweaty as she fidgeted with herself. It had been five years, what if they didn't like her Kheer anymore? Her nervous tap was stopped by a hyperexcited Samaira who entered, sniffing the air like a lost puppy.

"Is it your kheer I am smelling?", Samaira questioned, lurking behind Shaheen's back to have a clear vision of what was being done, and when Shaheen turned and nodded with a sheepish smile, Samaira literally jumped on her place, hugging the life out of her best friend, and making her twirl with her.

"Yeay! I have been craving your dessert since forever. Now finally Neil would know why I don't rank his dessert ten on ten", she winked at Shaheen who only laughed, shaking her head at the child like glee etched on Samaira's face.

To say, it had been just a few days that she was here, but she had missed Samaira's childish innocence even in these hours. She had matured a bit too much for her liking, and now watching her regain her innate ability to smile and spread joy just like that, Shaheen felt a calmness spread over her. She immediately raised her hand to read a Dua for all of their wellbeing, and only then followed Samaira out, holding the tray of her special dessert.

While Neil and Samaira enjoyed themselves, taking a third and fourth serving, and openly praising Shaheen's cooking, Shaheen found herself looking towards the door every now and then. Abhi had gone to the orphanage in the morning, despite Neil wanting him to rest out a few more days, and now it was almost dusk but he hadn't returned.

"He would come home Shaheen, stop fretting",Neil softly rebuked her, by nudging her shoulder with his. It hadn't taken him too much time to grasp Shaheen's ever so visible feelings for Shaheen and though he hadn't confronted her, he knew and She knew he had understood too. She smiled hesitantly, nodding.

"By the way, You were supposed to Skype Kabir yesterday. What happened about that?", Samaira asked, her mouth full of Kheer but it was a jolt for Shaheen, as she gaped at her best friend now, for she had completely forgotten that aspect.

"It completely skipped my mind", She accepted, horrified at the prospect, "Kabir would be so upset with me".

"He is upset with everyone, big deal!", Samaira shrugged, and it made Neil chuckle out loud. He immediately raised his hand in air to apologise, but the tone in which Samaira had answered, he found it really difficult to control his giggles, and eventually both the girls began laughing too.

That was also when Abhi entered the house and politely nodding at everyone rushed to his room. That only made Shaheen frown. Watching her confused face, Neil clarified.

"Just a few of his insecurities, it's difficult to explain Shaheen. He doesn't feel worthy enough to be a part of our conversations, let's put it like that", He sighed, keeping his bowl down and Samaira's eyes darted towards his room.

She hoped one day, her hero would be sitting with her, teasing the hell out of her again.

Shaheen's eyes met Sam's, and she knew what she was thinking. Shaheen only smiled, in her gestures, trying to assure her that, that day would come too. She got up and moved to the kitchen, dialing a number.

On the terrace, Abhi was sitting on the swing, watching the stars. It had become an inevitable part of his routine, the stars comforted him in a way nobody else did.

To see so many stars clustered together and yet the realisation that though they did look so compacted, each star in reality was so many light years away from the other, brought him peace and comfort, that he wasn't the only one so alone.

Sighing, he made a mesh of his hands and crossed them over his head, before resting his head on them. Something in the air was different, and the way his heart was beating wildly, Abhi could feel this sudden knot in his stomach and it made him very wary of his surroundings, adding to his anxiety.

But a familiar pair of anklets rested all the chaos inside him and with tears threatening to fall down his eyes, Abhimanyu turned to see his mother standing at the door of the terrace with a bowl of Kheer in her hand.

---------

The moon looked beautiful, Kabir thought, standing by the terrace. Roshni had fallen asleep, just a while ago, and like every other day, he could not find even a speck of sleep. It had been years, but a good night's sleep had become a luxury he could not afford anymore. Not since that night when he had received that devastating phone call from Roshni.

Five years ago, City Line Hospital

Kabir lay still, watching the ceiling while his mother slept on the sofa in the room. It had been another round of tears and complains and Kabir couldn't describe the pain he felt watching his parents weep their heart out for him. If there was one thing he could be grateful to Abhimanyu, it had to be this- him saving his life, literally.

His gaze fell on his bandaged wrist, and he sighed watching the faint red spots on the white bandage. He felt tears hitting the back of his eyes and he felt guilt eating him up.

What the hell was he thinking?

Oh, right. He wasn't.

If he was, he knew he would never have taken the step and slit his wrist with that divider in his bag.

Watching Abhimanyu and Roshni in the same room, while knowing Roshni had ran to confess her feelings to someone she loved, which of course wasn't him had hurt him like a punch in the gut. But the realisation that it was none other than Abhimanyu, the star child of their group had hurt more.

Now that he lay in quiet, he could segregate his thoughts, and he knew that it was just the heat of the moment, when he did what he did. It was this jealousy he always felt against Abhi, it was the hurt of loosing his first love, and it was the staggering realisation of not being enough for his Sunshine, such that she could not love him but she loved Abhi - all of that had muddled his brain and his thoughts in that moment today in the afternoon.

He vividly remembered running away from that computer lab, and stopping only in that deserted corner of their school, unaware of the streams of tears running through his eyes.

His Sunshine, his Roshni, was the only thread of hope for him. It was holding her hand Kabir had just began collecting the broken and lost pieces of his life. And suddenly, she wasn't his to say anymore?

The pain in his heart felt so much physical that Kabir found himself breathing laboriously every passing moment. Whoever said heartbreaks are emotional pain hadn't felt it for sure. Every time he closed his eyes, Roshni standing in front of Abhi and his silly smile would haunt Kabir. Did Abhi felt the same way for Roshni? Did he reciprocate his feelings too?

Kabir clutched the roots of his hairs as he fell down on his knees, his school bag dropping down from his shoulder and falling on the ground. Through the half open chain, he could see the geometry box lying inside.

Would he be able to see Abhi and Roshni together, hand in hand, at the cost of his heart?

Would he be ever able to see them again, meet the group again?

Would without Roshni, he be able to deal with the broken remainders of his family that had just began mending?

He had not realised how badly he was depending on Roshni, and a small part of his heart knew, on Abhi too. He knew that he was more hurt by the fact that he would loose both of them than the fact that they probably liked each other. All these days, he had pushed Abhi away but the guy had been stubborn, and just now that he had began accepting the brotherhood Abhi always offered him, it was brutally snatched away.

Kabir's hand moved on its own accord and he reached to the geometry box, taking out the divider from it. With insanity in his eyes, he glared at the pointed end of the divider and then slashed his wrist with it. Dripping blood made him smile, and in that very moment, he found his name being called somewhere near.

Kabir turned around to find Abhimanyu panting and calling for him and as soon as their eyes met, both the boys stilled. Abhi could not handle the shock of finding blood dropping down his hand, and ran over to him when Kabir stood up and walked two steps back.

"No, don't come closer to me. I can't live without Sunshine in my life and like everytime you are the lucky one", Kabir's voice was falling into whispers as he stumbled and his knees gave out.

The last thing he remembered was Abhi calling his name, and holding his hand while his tears fell unchecked on his shirt and then he lost all consciousness.

He opened his eyes and sighed, thinking about his stunt in the afternoon. It was foolish of him, he knew. He had seen the terror on Abhik's eyes when he had opened his. He had not entered the room, but had been standing by his door, while his parents held him and cried and complained. And sometime later he had vanished.

His phone that had been lying beside him vibrated at once breaking his chain of thoughts and the name on the screen only made his heart churn in pain.

"Sunshine?", Kabir spoke lowly into the phone, well aware that he was going to receive verbal spats from her, but what he heard snatched the ground beneath his feet.

"Save me Kabir, please save me, or I will die", her sobs echoed in his ear as the line disconnected, and he broke into cold sweat at the vulnerability of her voice.

Little did he know, it was the last time he was hearing her speak.

Tears fell down his eyes as he held the  railing harder, his knuckles white from the pressure.

"Why Abhi? Why did you have to ruin someone who loved you that way? Why?", Kabir complained to the empty sky, not a single star was accompanying the moon that night.

"You were my brother right? Despite me being the arrogant one, you never left me alone. And just when I thought I could do the same, just when I made up my mind to be happy for both of you if you were happy together, you ruined the woman I loved, that gravely. Why? Why? Why?", Kabir broke down, punching the railing before turning around and sliding down the parapet, holding his head in his hands.

Nobody knew what he had went through the last five years. Trying to keep Roshni's disaster of parents away from her, his studies, his job and her treatment, there were days he had almost given up but just the hope of seeing Roshni smiling some day had kept him going.

And finally he had seen a silver lining in Shaheen's call. He only hoped it would not fade away, for he wasn't sure he had the strength to endure it, not anymore.