~ Sometimes in life we need a few bad days to keep the good ones in perspective ~

The pendulam's sound made her aware of another hour of her wretched life that had passed. She was an hour closer to getting this day over with and the thought gave her peace. Hastened footsteps coming upstairs increased the ache in her heart.

What would she not give for Kabir to move on?

She could not understand how and why was she still stuck on her? Why did he still call her 'Sunshine' when she had nothing but dullness and disintrest etched all over her face? Why did he talk to her so animatedly, when she could not force even a monosyllable out of her throat in response?

Selective mutism, or mute by choice, was what doctor after doctor had diagnosed her with, and she could not even defend herself. It wasn't like she could not talk, but she didn't want to talk. She liked blocking out everyone, at least it soothed the ache in her heart sometimes.

"Sunshine?", Kabir's love filled voice filled her ears as she sat down beside her, and held her hand to entwine with his.

"How are you feeling?", he smiled at her.

"Like I do everyday. Worthless. A piece of dirt", she said in her mind, but her lips never trembled.

Kabir rubbed her palm softly and tolf her about his day at his office, about this new deal he got and the possible promotion coming his way.

Roshni didn't falter, didn't react, didn't even blink more than required. She just stared him him, her eyes as blank as her face.

"Shaheen messaged again. She said she wanted to skype us today. They could not travel for some reason, but they will soon", Kabir informed, and Roshni blinked.

"I wish she could be here when I really needed her the most", her mind answered but she didn't react to him and his news either.

But like every other day, it didn't dim his eyes or dull his excitement. He smiled at her with the same warmth, Kissed her forehead with the same love and looked at her with the same heart eyes he had when he had first confessed his love.

Roshni grimaced inwardly, at the thought of how unlucky she was. Somebody loved her this mad and she could not find it in herself to reciprocate. A bitterness filled her at that thought, she felt bile rising up at the memory.

Sometimes just one night is enough to change your entire life altogether!

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Back in Pune, Shaheen held the corner of her dupatta and nervously fidgeted with it, standing at the door of Abhi's room. As much as she wanted to have the conversation, she could not find the courage to. His eyes haunted her, the look in them when she told him she didn't hate her ever had broken her heart. More than that, his reaction to her, the fear in his eyes and the guilt she had seen in his stance, of hurting her, that had shattered her more.

She pushed open the door and found him sleeping. His head was turned to the side, as he lay on his back, perspiration beads all over his face and neck. Shaheen walked in and switched on the AC, just like he preferred, and then sat down beside him. Taking her cotton dupatta, she used it to dab and dry the sweat from his face. He stirred a little, but didn't really wake up.

She continued to sit by his side, and looked at him the way she couldn't when he was awake, or when anyone was around. She looked at him and etched him in her memories, and a smile appeared on her face, the innocence of his sleeping figure so contagious that she found herself patting his head, softly.

Abhi's eyes fluttered open at the warmth he felt, he had been craving that sense of love and belongingness for years now, and on days when his self control would break, he would let Samaira pat him to sleep. So very obviously he thought it was Samaira sitting by his bedside.

"Sam", he whispered, opening his eyes and adjusting to the light but flinched when he noticed the silhouette by his side.

Abhi sat up abruptly, confused and groggy, as much because of his sleep as he was by Shaheen's actions. He couldn't wrap his head around what she was saying and doing since she came back. Her departure, and her departing words had left a lasting impact on him.

Shaheen had always been good at reading people, but she had been excellent at reading Abhimanyu, mostly because of how simple and love filled person he used to be. Technically, still was. She had just gone wrong on one day, and there was nothing she regretted more in her life than that, but right now, she could see through him yet again and knew well what he was thinking.

"Abhi, If I tell you something, will you trust me?", Shaheen's voice trembled, she didn't know how much she meant to him now, but the way his eyes zeroed on her, and he nodded, trying not to look at her, she smiled, because she understood she did matter.

" I was going to leave Pune either way, I didn't go away because of whatever happened in school that day. I was going to go to Lahore because my orphanage didn't keep 18 plus students, and the one at Lahore was providing me scholarship and job. Sam knew, you can ask her. And you knew too? Remember that day in your room, when we were studying. I did tell you I was leaving. I didn't leave because of that incident solely", she spoke every word measured, but maintaining the softness in her voice.

"But somehow the reason was me, wasn't it?", Abhi's question left Shaheen surprised, he hadn't talked to her voluntarily since she came back, and here he was, asking her directly a question she didn't have an answer to.

"Yes. You were, but in a very different way than what you think or are assuming it to be", She clarified, but Abhi didn't say anything. He raised his eyes to look at her, and she found nothing that would tell her what he interpret from her words.

"Abhi, look at me. I need to know something and only you have the answer", Shaheen tried to divert the topic, but Abhi didn't pay any heed to her.

"So in a twisted way Sam was right. They all lost you because of me?", the way his voice broke, filled Shaheen with so much regret for her choices back then.

She should not have left, she should not have let them be.

"Abhi, It was a selfish choice I made. You have to trust me on that. One day I promise I will tell you why, but until then you have to believe me that it was not your fault", she tried to console him, but it didn't look like it worked. He was staring down, in his lap, and she could feel the horses of his mind running in all kind of wrong direction.

"Abhi, trust me please. I promise I will tell you why", she requested this time, and Abhi looked up again, this time his eyes misty.

"When?", he asked, his voice a whisper. As much as he did trust Shaheen, this time he felt like she was making an excuse for him, and he didn't want that.

Shaheen gulped. This was do or die.

"As soon as you do two things for me", she sighed and replied, not missing the look of complete astonishment wash him.

He could not believe they were having a conversation, sitting in his room and she was asking him to do something for her. Neither could she.

When he didn't deny, Shaheen assembled all her courage and took a deep breath.

"The first thing is a question I want you to answer. Why did you leave Roshni?", she asked as bluntly as she could and she saw him Literally gasp at that.

Roshni's name hurt him physically, the love he had nurtured for her over the years had become toxic to himself. And with Roshni's name, there was associated a pandora's box of tragic memories.

Shaheen knew that, and it was exactly why she had asked it.

"Don't tell me you didn't love her Abhi. I was the proof of your emotions for her. You told me about your feelings remember?", she asked again, and she found tears rolling down his eyes.

Shaheen curled her fists, her nails dragging through her skin, but she needed to do this. She knew there was no way he would directly tell what he had not told anyone in years, but she could certainly try and find a reaction out of him, to check if what she was thinking was right.

"It was because of Kabir, wasn't it? It was because you realised he loved Roshni too".

The way his face jerked up and his body stilled, Shaheen knew she had hit the bulls eye.

She was right, he did love her, and he hadn't used or misleaded her, whatever Samaira believed to have happened.

A sigh left her, while Abhi didn't know what to say anymore. He hadn't expected anyone to understand, and he didn't want anyone to find out either way.

Shaheen didn't say anything, she didn't try to comfort him in words because she knew they won't mean anything. She did what she thought was the best, she held his hand and squeezed it.

Abhi stared at their joined hand for a while and then stared at her.

"I don't want to go to Mumbai Shaheen, please. If that's your second wish, please don't -", he was cutoff by her, who shook her head at him, relieving him of his greatest worry.

"My second demand is simpler. Meet Shweta Aunty".