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20. Sanity

~ Sometimes the gravest wound have a very simple remedy - a bit of love! ~

"If Kabir hadn't blurted in anger how there wasn't any other explanation for your departure but My son, how he had hurt him and Roshni too, I would have never guessed that he could ever hurt you", Shweta spoke, her eyes downcast all this while, but before Shaheen could express her displeasure about the sentence, she felt Shweta's hands grab her tight before the lady shut her eyes off.

"Tell me that was a wrong assumption. Please. I knew how high pedastal Abhi kept you on, he would not possibly hurt you. He didn't right?", Shweta's voice broke as she pleaded, and Shaheen immediately covered her hands by hers, squeezing them.

"He didn't Aunty. Abhimanyu... I...didn't leave because he hurt me someway!", Shaheen answered immediately, and her heart crumbled at the partial lie. Even if she was going to leave eventually, even if the reason behind her departure was her love for him, she could not deny that his words that day, back in school had been the final push. And with that realization, also came the remorse that she didn't believe his clarification, that she had cursed him that day.

Shweta broke down into tears at Shaheen's words. Shaheen immediately circled her arm around the older lady, trying to comfort her. She had been the mother to her in her growing years, and watching her in tears wasn't something Shaheen liked.

"I lost my son Shaheen. You left, and all hell broke loose. He is in so much pain, and I couldn't do anything to soothe h-him", Shweta sobbed heavily, a distraught Abhi's face roaming in her mind, she cried her heart out to Shaheen.

Shaheen gulped, a bit more confused and a bit more frustrated with life. What was happening, she couldn't grasp any of it. Already the last 24 hours had snatched the feet off her ground, she knew the condition she saw Abhimanyu in would haunt her forever.

"Aunty? You know? But Samaira said you disowned him? I mean-", Shaheen's confused blabber was met by a very painful chuckle from Shweta, it almost sounded ironocal.

"How do I not know about him? How do I not keep tabs? Yes I was angry on him, Yes I said I disowned him, but I can't not love him Shaheen. I am his mother, I know him more than anyone else, or maybe I thought so. I yelled at him, wanting him to come back to me with an explanation. Just once, if he would have said he didn't do anything, I would have believed him over any and everyone. But he didn't. He didn't come to me. He disappeared Shaheen. I, I can't tell you how many months I had spent worried sick, crying, praying to every God in the world for him to be okay. Eight months later, Samaira came. She told me he was okay, I couldn't believe her then and I won't believe anyone now, because I know he isn't okay. He can't be okay until he talks to me, Shaheen. But he refused. He didn't want to see me. That idiot, comes home every birthday, mine and his father's, our anniversary, through the back door. He thinks we don't know. We do. But he isn't ready to face me, to talk to me, to let me see him. I see him through the net at the orphanage. I see him playing with those children. I feel envy of Mrs. Khan when he lies with his head in her lap. But I can't do anything. I can't force, Neil asked me not to. He - he had a haemorrhage Shaheen", Shweta began sobbing loudly again, crying her heart out again, "Haemorrhage! At this age. And I didn't know. He would not let me know. I, I sit here everyday hoping this morning would be the one Abhi would walk in, but that day doesn't come. Bring him back Shaheen. He listenes to you. Your words matter to him. Ask him to come back home. Tell him I am not angry. Tell him I love him...", she couldn't speak anymore as she joined her hands in front of a teary eyed Shaheen, who immediately clasped them in her hands, shaking her head, before hugging the frail woman.

For the first time in life, nothing made sense to Shaheen. She could not understand what avalanche had turned her friends' lives upside down, and with them, every single person associated with them were hurt too. Shaheen closed her eyes and sent a prayer. Whatever it was, she determined to untangle the mess. And most of all, she promised herself to bring Abhimanyu out of the abyss he had fallen into.

----------

When Abhimanyu finally found the strength to open his eyes, which to be honest seemed like a herculean task to him, the first thing he did was to turn his head to have a glance of the table clock.

10:30 am.

He gulped.

Taking a deep breath, he considered sitting up when his eyes fell on the figure sitting near his feet, with a huge textbook in his hands.

"Neil?", Abhi's voice was considerably hoarse, and Neil immediately spranged to his side, helping him sit, and then forwarding a glass of water. Abhi sipped a little, and sighed, finding it easier to open his eyes.

Looking at Neil, he held his hand in his, and let his lips tremble.

"I can't go to Mumbai Neil, please", the whisper was a plead, a painful one at that, and Neil immediately held Abhi's hand in between his.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. We won't go", Neil pacified him, his eyes wide at the frightened expression on Abhimanyu's face.

"Shaheen said, we would go. Please tell her, I don't want to. Please Neil, I can't do this, not right now, please", the desperation in his voice shook Neil, and he immediately calmed him down, by rubbing his back.

"If you don't want to go, we won't go. I promise, just stop stressing yourself okay? Trust me, we won't go!", Neil went back to comforting him and Abhi calmed down. Over the years, he had started to see Neil more as a friend than his doctor. He trusted him, because he always kept his word.

"Neil, I am physically not ill right?", Abhi's question threw Neil off guard. He could not understand the sudden shift in topic.

"You are, right now. You are physically very weak Abhimanyu. But nothing major, yes. Why are you asking?", Neil questioned, already having a hint where this conversation was going. He could judge Abhi by the blankness of his eyes, just a moment ago, the same eyes that were frightened now were slowly getting blank.

"I will join the orphanage full time. Shaheen is here, it is a good chance. Sam doesn't have any more excuses. You guys can get married and you can finally take her with you", Abhi smiled, a full blown ear to ear smile, but Neil didn't reciprocate. Though he could not place how long it had been since he saw that smile, he wasn't happy about getting one right now.

Not getting a response, Abhi looked at Neil, who was silently checking his pulse, his eyes focused on his watch.

"Neil? Did you listen?", Abhi asked again, and Neil stopped to look at him.

"Yes I did. Didn't like the idea", he reprimanded him, "You know what? I don't fucking care what you think Abhi. You can treat yourself as a commodity or a liability on us, or whatever the hell you want. Samaira will always treat you as her best friend and me, as my little brother. So no matter how much you push us away, how much it hurts, we will still be fucking here! ", Neil stated, standing up, a little furious and a little out of breath, because he normally never swore, until very angry.

Once he did, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before finally looking at Abhi again, who was sitting quiet with his head lowered. Sighing, he sat down beside him again and called his name.

Abhi looked up with tear filled eyes. He didn't say one word, but gratefulness danced through his entire demeanour. Without saying anything, for the first time in last five years, Abhi shifted closer to someone and hugged him.

Neil was taken aback, but he held him closer, and ruffled his hair. Abhi scooted closer and tried to hide himself more into the embrace. The gesture, seemingly very innocent, made Neil's eyes fill up too. He embraced him, and patted his back, like a older sibling, and whispered sweet nothings into his ear, until he felt Abhi's tensed shoulders relax.

When he broke the hug, Neil smiled and asked him to wait as he arranged breakfast. Abhi nodded and answered with a small, but genuine smile.

In the kitchen, Neil entered and held the kitchen slab tight, taking Samaira, who was preparing Sandwiches, by surprise.

"Neil?", She was immediately worried, and held him by his shoulders.

"He hugged me Sam, he hugged me like my little brother", Neil answered with a teary smile, that astonished Samaira as well as Shaheen who was standing a few steps behind them, near the entrance.

"All these years he kept pushing us away, but today I saw that pain in his eyes Sam. I saw how lonely he has been, how vulnerable. He smiled at me and-", Samaira hugged an overtly emotional Neil.

Over the years, She knew Neil had began to care for Abhi more than what he did for a patient. Today she realised he actually saw him like a little brother.

Shaheen raised her hand in a dua and chanted an Aayat immediately. She had somehow gotten a hope at bringing her family back, and she hoped, that it would work.

Abhimanyu deserved to smile, and she wanted to make sure he did, and she was positive Her Allah wnated the same!

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