~ Sometimes all we need is an embrace and a few honest words~

People, throughout their course of life, struggle to find some peace. Some find it in music, some in rain. Some talk their hearts out and some write their hearts out. Shaheen, had always found her peace in prayer. When she sat on her knees and prayed, she believed she talked to Allah, that the almighty listened to everything she held in her heart. This was probably why, even being an Orphan, she never felt really lonely, because her Allah had been with her, in every step of her way, or so she believed.

It was an immature thought process, Samaira had always said so whenever Shaheen spoke about conversing with her Allah, Sam always maintained it was more above believing that someone is listening than someone actually listening. Maybe that's why Samaira wasn't much of a theist, she found her peace in painting and sketches, like Roshni did in cooking and Kabir in music. Out of all of them, only Abhi understood her stand, and his eyes always accepted her point of view even though he didn't agree to it, because unlike all of them, he too didn't find his peace in a hobby or a distraction. He found his peace in an abstract feeling too, which was his mother's warmth.

So imagine Shaheen's surprise when that morning following her Fajr Namaj, she moved out of her room and walked to Abhi's noticing his lights on, only to find him on his knees, his hands raised in prayer.

And if that image wasn't enough to send shivers down her spine, the tears running down his face ruthlessly, broke her already broken heart into more finite peices. She watched him with tears in her own eyes, because she, more than all, understood how it felt when you had no one to share your deepest greif and you fall on your knees to share it with the almighty.

Oblivious to her, Abhi prayed with everything in his heart, asking for only happiness for everyone who meant something for him, but like all these years, like all those uncountable prayers before, he didn't ask anything for himself other than forgiveness for the almighty. His tears weren't voluntary, his sobs weren't intentional but since the only moment he allowed himself to feel the excruciating pain he kept inside him was this, on his knees, in prayers, they were inevitable per se.

Once done, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and stood up, holding the corner of the bed, and bent to fold the prayer mat. It was after that he noticed a slender figure standing by her door step, and to say he was shocked, would be an understatement.

He had known Shaheen was present in the same house, but he hadn't expected her to come see him. Why would she? She didn't want to see his face, or that was what he remembered from the last conversation they had had, on that very wretched day, their last day at school.

"Abhi, I am telling you she looks at you with those heart eyes. Maan le Bhai!", one of his classmates laughed loud, high fying with the other as they sat with him in the canteen.

Abhi groaned in irritation. This was now getting on his nerves. He had tried to explain them several times that Shaheen was just a friend, but boys are boys. None of them were backing out.

"Next time we meet her, let's call Bhabhi ji!", somebody suggested and Abhi was mortified. He knew that if even a speck of these rumors reached Shaheen, she would immediately stop talking to him, or maybe to all of them. He knew how much her image, her Allah mattered to her and she won't compromise that for anything.

"Evil that woman is, I tell you. Looks so docile, so out of reach! But even she has hots for him, you should be proud bro!!", The first guy laughed louder and Abhi fisted his hands, trying not to burst at them. He needed to shut them up but he also knew denying won't help. It never does, especially in high school.

At that very moment the idea that struck his bollywood bluff mind was the one he didn't know he would br regretting for years. He had seen so many movies and the only way out his mind opted was for full on bollywood, for in his mind, he was practicing a scene he would act out in his future debut movie, completely forgetting that even in those, this particular stunt backfired.

"Oh please, Shaheen isn't even my type, and you think She could be my girlfriend? I need to be at least intrested in her for that, don't you think?", Abhi spoke, a wicked smile on his face as he appreciated his uncanny acting abilities in his mind, and the gang fell silent.

" Well, true that, yeah. Who will even like some one so reserved like her?", the second boy spoke, shaking his head and others agreed when Abhi exclaimed, "Exactly", beaming at the success of his trick.

Only when he turned, satisfied and excited to share about his acting gig with Shaheen and others, his eyes met a pair of brown orbs which were laced with hurt and disappointment. Tears ran down Shaheen's eyes as she stood frozen hearing the words from Abhi, and the moment he turned and their eyes met, Shaheen knew it was the last time she was seeing him and before he could say anything, she ran away, the mannat ka dhaga she brought for him lying on the ground!

Abhi was shocked, but he ran behind her, calling her name, wanting to clear the air but Shaheen didn't want to listen. She was already hurt with what was going on in her life, but she was content to know and feel that the love of her life respects her friendship, and adores her as a friend. Hearing Abhi's words broke something in her, something she wasn't sure she wanted to mend because this could be her driving force to move on someday.

Abhi caught upto her and held her wrist, just inside the gallery leading to their classrooms. The Mannat ka dhaga she had left on the ground was clasped tightly in his hand.

"Shaheen, listen to me once", He pleaded, the thought that he was the reason behind her tears was in itself enough painful for him. But Shaheen jerked her hand free from him, not wanting to stand in his vicinity.

"I didn't mean anything Shaheen, I was just playing around with them, trying to keep them from spreading false rumours-", He was cut off by a fierce Shaheen.

"Oh really? By stating how I wasn't your type? By demeaning me to total strangers? You know what Abhimanyu Rathore, Allah won't forgive you. You are really the meanest human I have met and Allah will never forgive you for your sins. This is the curse from my heart....", she wiped her tears and ran away into the calssroom, leaving behind a dejected and equally distraught Abhi who couldn't not even grasp what had happened within half an hour in his life.

Shaheen looked at him, unblinking and he immediately averted his eyes, not meeting hers anymore. Shaheen took a deep breath and steped inside, her heart beating wildly as she noticed him going stiff as he took his steps back, his back almost colliding with the wall behind.

Something caught her eyes as she took him in. It was a tattered thread still wound around his wrist.

"You still have this?", Shaheen asked, very softly but Abhi didn't know what to make of it. He believed she hated him, so that sentence could be sheer saracsm.

"I am- I am sorry", he quickly mumbled an apology, not meeting her eyes yet, but his hands had began to tremble. He kept his eyes focused on his feet, trying to concentrate and tell himself that the room wasn't actually spinning, that their was enough air, that he could breathe.

But he had started gasping by then. It almost felt like he was drowning, his breaths coming in short waves. He jerked his face to locate his pills, he needed them to calm himself down because he could feel the panic settling right in.

Shaheen had been observing him and wanted to cut off his sorry when she saw him struggling to breathe. The tell tale signs were there, she knew them. The laboured breathing, the unfocused gaze, the trembles. He was close to a panic attack.

Shaheen acted on impulse, with him it was always her impulse. She held his wrist and pulled him to her, his knees giving out as he fell down on the floor but she held him, rubbing his back and whispering softly to him.

"I am here, I am here, with you. You aren't alone. You can breathe. It's fine. I am here".

No one knew how much time went by, but she held him for an hour almost, when she finally found him relaxing. His stiff shoulders went normal, and he could breathe better. Almost normal.

She ran her hands over his face, wiping the sweat with her dupatta and dabbed it on his face to dry.

Abhi felt drained by then. Nodding his head, he finally lifted his body up and rested it against the wall, somehow opening his eyes and they collided right against hers.

Just like that day.

The same pair of brown orbs that had haunted him all these years.

They were still misty, like that day.

They were still hurt, like that day.

But today, they were hurt for him, not because of him.

The confusion swam right across his face, she could see through it. Handing him a glass of water, Shaheen stood up. She needed to talk to Neil.

Standing up, she looked at him and sighed.

"We are all going to Mumbai today. Be ready by 11", she stated, but wasn't sure he registered it. His eyes were painfully blank.

Just at his door, she pushed and turned back again.

"Abhi?", he stopped sipping water and looked up again, his frame of mind totally lost.

"I don't hate you. I never did".