❝i've loved the stars too fondly to be afraid of the night.❞

-galileo, inventor and astronomer

♛

THE DROPSHIP COMES INTO view, and I would sigh in relief if I had any breath left to spare. My shin has been aching with every frantic step I had run away from the woman I had killed. My face is still warm and covered in her blood when I approach the cloth-covered door and burst inside.

"Fallon?" Raven questions, straightening up immediately. I collapse onto my knees without responding and gulp in the stale air that my burning lungs desperately need.

"Whoa, are you alright?" Bellamy starts to stand, presumably from the alarming sight of my face, but I wave him off.

"It's not mine," I tell him. Then I look up and any breath I had regained is lost again.

Clarke lays on her side with her right temple bloody and face paler than normal. Murphy and Bellamy are sitting by her - for comfort or healing, I'm not sure.

"Can you help her?" Murphy asks. I nod, forcing my tired legs to hold my weight as I step toward her.

"I'm going to need a wet rag," I inform anyone who will listen. Bellamy scoots over to let me sit by her. "I'll clean off the blood, and then see how serious it is."

Finn, I notice, coughs at that. I look up to see him appearing almost sick with worry. His eyebrows are pushed together, breath coming out in short and shallow pants.

"I think she'll be okay, Finn," I tell him honestly. He doesn't seem to be very convinced.

"Here." Raven hands me the wet cloth I asked for. I thank her before gently pressing it against Clarke's head where the blood is thickest. She groans in discomfort; I cringe at it, but keep going down to her chin until it's all gone. The only sign of her injury is a small bump on the side of her head and a faint red pigment on her skin.

"She's fine," I announce, feeling relief fill me. "Temples are pretty sensitive and that's why she got knocked out. Aside from a headache that'll hurt like a bitch, she'll be perfectly alright."

Bellamy nods before taking the cloth from my hand and dipping it back into the bowl of water from one of our canteens that Raven emptied. He folds the fabric so a clean side is facing me. His hand slides under my chin, holding my head in place as he begins to wipe the blood off of my face.

"It was a Grounder," I explain to not just Bellamy, but anyone in the dropship. "She wanted to know where Finn was. Knocked my gun away. Pinned me down. Kicked me in the shin. I told her I wouldn't say and spat in her face." My hand reaches into my pocket and pulls out the pen, which is half-coated in her blood. "Stabbed her in the neck with this. Shot her three times."

"I thought I heard gunshots," Murphy comments in a failed attempt at making a joke. I ignore him and allow Bellamy to finish cleaning my face and the pen. I have to tilt my chin up for him to wipe off the droplets that managed to get on my neck. His touch is gentle and soft, and I try to look anywhere but his lips as he moves closer and closer to rid of all the blood. My heart lessens its thudding when he leans back to clean my hand. I hadn't noticed it was stained as well.

"Thank you," I say quietly to him.

He nods. "You're welcome." Then, to everyone, "We should have some of us keeping watch. Fallon and Murphy, you'll do that with me. Raven, watch Clarke and alert Fallon if she seems to be getting worse. Finn...stay hidden."

And so begins our hustling to our positions. The air is fresher outside compared to the dropship, which smells like metal, grease, and smoke. I'm even grateful for the crisp breeze that bites at my neck and cheeks.

I stay crouched beside Murphy, a pathetic and horribly charred stump of tree obscuring us. Its stumpy branches offer little protection from wandering eyes. It also doesn't help that I only have my handgun while the other two are armed with rifles.

There's nothing to be seen for about twenty minutes until something catches my eye in the trees. I whisper it to Murphy, who passes the information to Bellamy. We all stiffen and become more alert than before. Bellamy looks through the scope of his gun as he moves it around, trying to get a better look.

"It's Grounders," Murphy reports breathlessly, tensing up. I notice him clenching his fists and catch sight of his fingernails- or practical lack thereof. I had forgotten they'd ripped them off when they'd captured him.

"Hey, come out here!" he calls to those inside the dropship. "We've got company."

Finn appears about two seconds later, gun raised as he stands on the ramp. I wave my arm wildly at him. "Get down!"

The Grounders become more visible through the demolished remains of our wall. Their swift movements are almost too hard to follow, but as more appear, the easier it is to see them. My chest tightens with dread. Of course it wouldn't take long to find us- it was probably my gunshots that alerted them of our presence.

I see Clarke in my peripheral vision and let out a small sigh of relief that she's awake and able to move properly. If she hadn't been, it'd cause a whole new set of problems for us. I'm grateful her injury is so minor.

"Back inside," Bellamy orders, lowering his gun but keeping his eyes on the warriors around our former camp. "We're surrounded. Go, Finn, before they see you."

He nods and practically dives into the dropship, Raven following closely behind. We all assemble behind the cloth with nothing to do except wait in anticipation. I sit on one of the metal benches with my leg bouncing from nerves. My face still feels like it's coated in blood despite the fact it's clean.

Even though Clarke assures me she's fine, I perform another checkup anyway. The swelling on the bump seems to have lessened and there's no sign of further injury. That's good- really good, actually. I'm glad it's no more than that. A concussion would be bad, especially at a time like this. The last thing we need is her having blurred vision and slurred words.

Bellamy and Murphy both stand on either side of the cloth covering the door, poking their heads out from time to time. Their bodies are stiff and shoulders straight. Even Murphy's usual lazy, careless stance is gone.

"They're staying out of range," Bellamy reports eventually, stepping away from the entrance. "They'll be waiting until it's dark."

I look up toward the hatch and wonder if it's worth it to hide Finn up there and say he escaped somehow. Would they kill us anyway if they came inside? Would they think to look up there?

"If we hit them now, we take them by surprise," Murphy suggests as he, too, abandons his post at the front.

"We don't even know how many of them are out there," Clarke points out with exasperation in her tone. Aside from her voice sounding more quiet than usual, there are no outward symptoms of trauma to her head.

"I'm not hearing any better ideas, Clarke," Murphy sneers in that annoying voice he always manages to sneak into every conversation. I roll my eyes. However, just as I open my mouth to offer my suggestion, Raven speaks up.

"We'll give them something," she offers.

"All they want is Finn," Bellamy replies blankly.

"Finn wasn't the only one at the village." Raven doesn't look at Murphy when she speaks, simply keeping her eyes downcast. Something tells me that this wasn't something she made up on the spot.

"I don't..." I trail off and shake my head, not knowing how to put it without sounding rude. "Murphy wasn't the one pulling the trigger, either."

"We don't know that," Raven volleys back. I bite the inside of my cheek to forbear from reminding her that when I showed up, it was Finn shooting. Murphy's gun wasn't even poised to aim.

"Raven, I came here to protect him," Murphy reminds her with an unreadable expression. "You were the one who wanted me to come. You--"

He stops short upon noticing Raven's locked jaw. It doesn't take more than a second for it to dawn on me that she planned this whole thing.

To my surprise, Murphy's mouth quirks up in his famous half-smile. "That's why you asked me to come along?"

"Enough Grounders saw him at the village," Raven explains with her voice heavy. "They'd believe he was the shooter."

Murphy shakes his head. "You sick bitch."

My stomach churns as I glare at him. I may not want to give him up, but I won't tolerate him calling Raven a bitch.

"Raven, you don't mean this," Clarke attempts to win her over. She speaks in a soft, trusting tone that makes it hard not to see her point of view.

"You know what they do to people," Bellamy adds in.

"They want a murderer," Raven growls. "We'll give them one." She loads her own rifle and aims it at Murphy with her eyes hard and no sign of her changing her mind. "Drop your gun."

My stomach flips when Murphy steps closer to the barrel until it's almost touching his crooked nose. His expression is unreadable once again, but I can feel the betrayal in his words when he sneers, "Go to hell, Raven."

"Put it down, Raven," Clarke orders in the same tone as before. "Like it or not, he's one of us."

"I said drop it," Raven commands, ignoring Clarke's plea and glaring straight ahead at Murphy. The gun inches toward his chest, but right before it can touch him, Finn shouts and pushes the gun down.

"Stop!" he yells, edging between Raven and Murphy. His voice lowers when he speaks to the girl in front of him. "We're not doing this. They've got us surrounded. The only thing we can do is stay and defend this place."

"What if we used the upper level?" I voice my idea, finding this a good a time as ever to present it. "Lock it so they won't be able to get inside until we figure out a better plan."

"That's good," Clarke praises with a nod. "We could use that."

"I'm with Finn," Bellamy announces firmly. I nod in agreement, able to push away any former resentment I have felt for him. Like Clarke said, we're together in this plight.

"Muphy?" Finn asks after everyone else had agreed as well.

"Yeah," he mumbles in reply, pulling his lips into a line.

"Go upstairs, watch the rear," Finn commands. "I'll take the lower level."

I feel my stomach tighten in confusion. Why would Finn take the lower level by himself? It makes no sense. If anything, he should be the last person who's left alone.

"I'll go with you." It's not an offer, but a statement. Finn doesn't even start to disagree after seeing the determination on my face. I'm not swaying my decision.

"You three, take the front gate," he says to Clarke, Finn, and Raven. Upon noticing their hesitance, he raises his eyebrows. "That's the plan, alright?"

The others nod. Apparently I'm the only one with any suspicion at the gaping hole in Finn's "plan." It makes me wonder if I'm being just the right amount of careful or too paranoid.

Murphy is the first to head toward his post, climbing the ladder to the second level without a word. The others spread out after him and report to their assigned positions. The only one who doesn't move is Raven, who looks like she wants to talk to Finn. I sit back on the bench to give them privacy.

She leaves after a few whispered words, leaving just Finn and I alone. I speak up before he can move to open the lower hatch.

"So, what's the real plan?"

He freezes with his hand outstretched toward the handle, which is all the confirmation I need. My eyes lock onto his frightened ones.

"What are you talking about?" he asks innocently. I'll have to admit, he's good at feigning nonchalance, but I know Finn well enough to tell when he has ulterior motives.

"You wanted to be on your own," I answer, slowly forming the pieces together as I speak. A crease forms between my eyebrows while I think. "On the lower level. Where there's an exit." My head tilts to the side. "And I'm in your way now."

"I don't know what you mean," Finn shrugs off my words and starts to slide down to the bottom level. I immediately stand and start to follow him down, sitting on the edge of the square hatch and slipping down to the floor. My feet slam onto the metal below right after his do. He reaches up and closes us off to the rest of the dropship.

"You're going through the tunnels, aren't you?" I question with accusation in my voice. "You're giving yourself up."

He looks toward the ground but doesn't deny it. My stomach lurches; I had been right. Our fight for Finn is far from over.

"I hoped I wouldn't have to use this." Finn produces an electric baton from his jacket pocket, flicking his wrist outward so it extends. I can see the surge of energy around it and can almost feel it against my stomach. A spasm of fear shoots through me.

I take a step back, slamming into a cable box instead. My eyes go wide in fright as they look into his. The baton is shaking in his hand when he steps forward. My heart lurches into my throat- maybe I'll have time to persuade him. "Finn, wait. I can help you! Please, just don't do this."

"I'm sorry," he whispers with tears in his eyes, right before he touches the baton to my neck.

--

I wake slowly but surely and find myself in Medical. Confusion washes over me for a second as I wonder how I got here, but then the memory of what happened slams into me full-force. I push myself up to a sitting position, mumbling, "Finn."

I'm not angry at him for what he did. I know I probably would have done it myself, if I had been in his place.

The hums of machinery and the lights above send a buzz through me. I feel jumpy, anxious to see if I'm too late. As far as I can tell, there aren't any IVs in me or even anything remotely attached to my body. I had only been brought here to rest until I had regained consciousness.

I survey my surroundings. Jackson, Abby's nurse, sits nearby as he attends to another patient. He glances up when I rise. His head jerks toward the door, a silent consent for me to leave. I shoot him a small nod in thanks.

Judging by the darkness outside the few windows in the Ark, it's nighttime. This means that they'll likely begin Finn's torment soon, if not already. My head fills with a plethora of anxious thoughts as I hurry as fast as I can toward the nearest exit. I notice with a small amount of delight that my shin doesn't hurt anymore.

The cold night air hits me full-force when I go outside. It's not hard at all to see where everyone is- they crowd as close as they can to the fence in an effort to watch Finn. I can see through the tiny gaps of people that the Grounders have lit enough torches to burn down the entire forest, their entire barricade lit with the fiery orange glow.

"You're awake," Murphy's voice calls to me from the left. I turn to see him with his hands shoved in his pockets while he stands a few yards away. That dumb half-smile plays on his lips, full of amusement. "You're welcome."

I watch him start to walk backward with confusion swirling through me. 'You're welcome'? What's that supposed to mean?

"Bellamy and Raven are over there." He points toward a section of the gate closest to where Finn will be. Before I can thank him for telling me, he turns around and the crowd swallows him.

I head toward where he had pointed to and find Bellamy and Raven there, just like he said they would be. Raven is trying to obscure her fear and sadness by clenching her jaw and staring straight ahead. Bellamy notices me as soon as I come close enough for him to see.

"Hey," he greets somberly when I stop in the space between him and Raven. "We were wondering when you'd wake up. Murphy found you knocked out on the bottom level with the baton. You okay?"

I nod. "I'm fine."

You're welcome. So that's what he had meant.

Raven says nothing, and I don't expect her to. I can't imagine what she's feeling right now. To have so much hope only for Finn to surrender himself must have a devastating impact on her.

"Where's Clarke?" I question as a way to get off the subject. I hadn't seen her around when I'd journeyed here. It's unlike her to be absent in a time like this.

Bellamy glances briefly at Raven before speaking. "She went to talk to the Commander."

I sigh. Clarke should know that there's no way Lexa will budge from this punishment. Their "generous" gift of more time that Kane had bought us was pure luck. Something tells me we've extended our time to the max.

Of course, I don't say any of this out loud, and stay quiet instead.

I catch sight of Clarke among the Grounders assembled to watch Finn die. She stands in front of Lexa as Finn is being tied to a large log that's been propped upright in the dirt for him. When I swallow, it's thick and painful. I can see the fear on his face and through his body language even from this distance.

As Finn tilts his head toward the sky to view the stars one last time, tears immediately rush to my eyes until they blur my vision. I struggle to see and yet refuse to let them fall just yet. There might be a way Clarke can do this. There has to be.

But nearly all hope plummets from my chest as I see Clarke step toward him, presumably to say goodbye. The tears build a dam inside of my eyes that threatens to break at any second.

"What is she doing?" Raven whispers in confusion.

"Saying goodbye," I just barely manage to choke out.

Maybe I've held a grudge against Finn for the longest time. Maybe I've never gotten along with him. Maybe I could have treated him better, but something about seeing him completely at the mercy of the Grounders makes guilt flood through me like a tidal wave. Why hadn't I tried to comfort him more? Why did I spend so much time talking about his real plan instead of trying to convince him to stay? I should have done it. For Clarke. For Raven.

It starts to drizzle lightly when Clarke hugs him close. A trembling breath escapes as I watch, a lump in my throat forming and balling up so tightly it's painful. My eyes stay wide open even when they sting. If I blink, a tear will fall.

My eyebrows crease when Finn's head ducks down as Clarke pulls away. At first I think it's out of sorrow, but then I see the blood staining his stomach and the knife in Clarke's palm, stained thickly in red. I squeeze my eyes shut, and the tear falls.

Raven's scream of, "No!" is enough to shatter my heart into a million pieces. She falls over into me, knocking us both to the damp ground because my eyes are still closed. I can't bring myself to open them as I curl in on myself and let all of the pent-up feelings out. My crying is silent for the Spacewalker.

Only one phrase comes out as a trembling whisper from my lips.

"Yu gonplei ste odon."

-----

rip finn. i didn't like you that much but your death was sad

please be sure to leave a comment telling me how you felt about the chapter!! they really encourage me to write (:

-kristyn