❝i have a theory that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different.❞

-tobias eaton, divergent

♛

MY LEGS ARE GOING to give out soon, I'm sure of it. They feel heavy and buckle with every step. However, I force myself to stay standing and help Octavia move through the forest. She will definitely fall without my support.

Bellamy and Jasper trail behind us, switching who carries Finn every so often. The knife is still stuck in his skin up to the hilt since Bellamy wouldn't allow Jasper to pull it out. The fabric of his tan shirt has turned black with blood. He lost consciousness a long while ago.

Monroe will occasionally help me with Octavia, but she mostly walks just behind me in case one or both of us falls. She doesn't really say much other than asking me if I'm okay every so often. I decide to like her, since she seems kind enough.

Finally, we reach camp. Jasper runs ahead to hold the door of the wall open for everyone else, screaming out, "Clarke! Where's Clarke?" He turns to one of the guards at the door with an urgent expression on his pale face. "Get Clarke, now."

I wobble through the entrance with Octavia, knees shaking with strain. Monroe follows me with her arms slightly held out in case I collapse.

Clarke appears, running through the bustling crowd around us. A concerned look appears on her face. "I'm here. What's up?"

Bellamy comes through the door, struggling to get Finn's feet through the entrance. Once he does, Clarke's face falls and her eyes grow to the size of small planets. She pushes past Monroe, Octavia, and I, unintentionally knocking me off my feet.

Monroe catches Octavia, which is definitely the better choice since she's injured more than I am. I land hard on my backside. My jaw clenches as pain flares up from my back where I had fallen before.

Raven rushes to help me up. She holds out a hand and carefully hoists me to my feet, where she gives me a brief once-over. "You okay?"

I nod, brushing loose dirt off of my clothes with a clenched jaw. "Fine."

Raven's eyes catch sight of Finn, whom I guess she hadn't noticed before. Her expression becomes crestfallen. "Oh, my God."

"He's alive," I hear Clarke announce. She's pressing two fingers to Finn's neck in order to check for a pulse.

"Bellamy wouldn't let me take the knife out," Jasper informs so quickly that his words jumble together.

"No, that was a good call," she praises. "Get him in the dropship now. Go!"

At some point, Bellamy passed Finn on to two other boys who had been nearby. They both hold Finn's weak body and stumble to the dropship.

"Clarke, can you save him?" Raven questions desperately, tears filling her eyes. I have never seen her cry before. In the short time I have known her, she always seemed to be so strong and guarded. Now I'm witnessing her walls crumble down.

"No, not me. I need my mother," Clarke answers honestly, worry creasing her brow as her gaze sweeps across the crowd. "And Fallon. Fallon!"

My head snaps up. I'm surprised that she's even acknowledging me, since she didn't seem to even notice my existence before. There's no venom in my voice as I ask, "What?"

"Can you help me with this?" Clarke questions, eyes pleading for me to help her. For a second I feel like I'm fifteen again in the Ark, watching those same eyes trail after me as I'm escorted away by guards.

I'm both physically and mentally exhausted. My eyes can barely stay open and my legs are begging for rest, but Finn's life is more important. We have a soul on the line. So I find myself nodding and saying, "Yes."

Bellamy frowns, clearly having heard our exchange. He turns to Clarke. "Fallon needs rest. Can't you see that?"

"I think she's perfectly capable of making her own decisions," Clarke snaps back almost immediately, sending a sharp glare his way. The change in her expression from helplessness to hatred surprises me. I have always known she doesn't particularly like Bellamy, but to give him a look with so much loathing...

It takes me a second too long to notice that they're both staring at me, waiting for my response. My eyes flicker between the two of them. "I'm okay, really. I can help Clarke."

Bellamy shakes his head, gaze locked on the bags beneath my eyes. He turns away and faces the wall.

Clarke turns back to Raven with a look of urgency. "I need to talk to my mother."

Raven's hands fly to her head. "There's still no radio."

"Raven, fix it!" Clarke exclaims, spinning the girl around and nudging her toward the dropship. "Go!"

Clarke motions for me to follow along. I nearly trip over my own feet as I walk behind her down the slight decline. There is silence as we head into the dropship.

Barely half an hour later, the sky darkens to black and rain pours down on the camp in unrelenting sheets, causing everyone to take refuge in the dropship. Two boys are attempting to hold the sheets over the entrance to keep the water out. It's no use, as the wind blows it around wildly. Thunder booms and lightning brightens up the sky in flashes of white light.

"This is Raven Reyes calling Ark Station," Raven says into the microphone of the broken radio. She sits at a table with a headset on, pressing buttons and earnestly attempting to connect with the frequency. "Come in, Ark Station."

She repeats this several times into the mic, groaning in frustration when it doesn't work yet again. The same sentence being repeated over and over has gotten mildly annoying. This may be because of the headache that's thudding in my brain for no apparent reason.

Finn is lying on a metal table. We have managed to rid of his shirt so we can view the stab wound more closely. His skin is deathly pale and dotted with beads of sweat that Clarke wipes away with a cloth every so often.

More than once I've found myself falling asleep, but a crackle of thunder will wake me up instantly. I rub at my drooping eyes and slap my cheeks to keep me awake. I've found a chair to sit on, which has helped a little, but now the temptation to sleep has become even more inviting.

"This is a restricted station," a male's voice crackles through the speaker on the radio. My head perks up at the sound and almost everyone freezes as we strain to hear through the static. "Who is this? Please identify yourself."

"This is Raven Reyes," she responds excitedly, trying to make herself sound calm and being sure to pronounce her words clearly and slowly. "I'm from Mecha Station. I'm transmitting from the Ground. The hundred are alive. Please, you need to get Dr. Abby Griffin." She pauses. "And Dr. Cece Rivers."

My heart stops. She's contacting my mom as well? I remember Raven saying that she knew my mom on the Ark, but she isn't in a nearly high enough position to speak with us, I'm sure of it.

"Hang on, Raven," Council Member Sinclair says. "We're trying to boost your signal."

A few seconds of silence pass. Raven turns and waves me over, an excited expression lighting up her face. I stand up and stumble my way over to the table she's sitting at. I collapse to the right of her, leaning my elbows on the desk to make it look like I did it on purpose. Her brow raises, but she doesn't question it.

"Raven," Abby's voice says clearly through the speaker. "Can you hear me?"

Clarke's hands fly to her mouth and she gives an excited, muffled squeal. After clearing her throat, she nods to Raven, who presses a button that widens the speaker instead of it being just the headphones.

Clarke leans forward a bit. "Mom? Mom, it's me- and Fallon, too. Were you able to get Cece?"

"Clarke?" Abby asks, her voice wavering a bit. "Fallon?" Her voice cracks and I hear a sniffle. "No, I'm sorry, but Cece isn't allowed in the Commission Room. I'm so sor--"

"It's okay, Abby," I assure her, though there's a knot in my stomach. The response was anticipated, but it still stings. "I kind of expected it."

"Mom, we need your help," Clarke informs. "One of our people was stabbed by a Grounder."

"Clarke, Fallon, this is the Chancellor," Jaha's voice says, replacing that of Abby's. "Are you saying there are survivors on the Ground?"

I nod, but then remember they can't see me. I blame the lack of sleep. "Yes. Earth is habitable. But we're not alone."

There's a long pause with no response from the Ark. Fear that we may have lost the signal strikes me, but I force it away and refuse to let that be the case.

"Mom, he's dying," Clarke says, voice breaking a bit. "The knife's still in his chest."

"Okay, can you patch me through to Medical?" Abby asks whom I suppose is Sinclair. I don't hear his response.

"Is my son with you?" Jaha asks, tone thick. It seems to have taken him an immense amount of courage for him to ask the question.

Clarke and I share a look, and for once in a long time, I feel no hostility. Instead I sadly remember Wells' horrific death from Charlotte, who twisted Bellamy's advice and used it to kill a man. It still seems hard to believe that it all actually happened.

"I'm so sorry," Clarke chokes out, closing her eyes briefly. "Wells is" - she's just barely able to say the next words - "Wells is dead."

There's another unbearably long lapse of silence. During those moments, I stand and make my way to Finn's unconscious body. His chest is smeared with drying blood around the hilt of the blade.

"I'm gonna talk you through it step-by-step," Abby finally says. Clarke appears on the other side of Finn, eyes sadly scanning over him. A violent lurch of the dropship causes several people to sway. "Clarke, Fallon, give five" - a crackle of indistinct sounds - "to Medical. Medic--"

"What?" Clarke shouts as she strains to hear what her mother is instructing through the roars of the wind outside. "Raven, what's wrong?"

"It's the storm," I respond, gripping onto the table so I can keep myself standing.

"She's right," Raven confirms as she checks the wiring. "It's not the radio."

"We need to hurry," Abby says. Her words are finally clear enough to understand, and I'm filled with relief. "Get any supplies you have while we wait for Medical."

I nod, then proceed to rummage through drawers and scope out the dropship for anything I can find. Some people hand me clean cloths, others hand me other miscellaneous supplies. In two minutes, I deposit my collection on the table where Finn lies.

Clarke and Octavia lean over him with a canteen in their hands. I can smell the sharp sting of the alcoholic scent even from where I am. "Monty's Moonshine?" Octavia nods in response. I sigh. "Tell him to make some coffee while he's at it."

Thunder booms in the air and a strong gust of wind rattles the ship. Clarke's gaze directs to the soaked flap that's covering the entrance. "The storm's getting worse. Monroe, close the doors."

"But we still have people out there," Monroe replies, sending a short glance at the opening.

"Monty and Jasper still aren't back yet," Octavia informs in a weighted tone. "Neither is Bellamy."

"It's all right," Clarke soothes. "They'll find somewhere to ride it out." She turns to me and jerks her head toward Finn. "Fallon, need your help with this."

I sluggishly move toward them as Octavia pours some of the Moonshine into a metal bowl and dips some tongs into it. As she stirs, a metallic cling echoes in my ears. I focus on that to keep myself from collapsing.

"Look!" Raven exclaims as she bounces toward us with a proud expression on her face. "One suture needle."

"Right," Clarke says as she takes it from her. "I still need something to close the wound."

"I'm on it," I said, heading toward the ladder that leads to the second level- that's where I had found the wire to fix my bracelet.

"Stay away from the blue wires that run through the ceiling," Raven advises. "I rigged it to the solar cells in the roof."

I have no idea what that means, but decide to take what I did understand and avoid the wires.

"That means they're hot, you got that?"

I'm thankful for the translation and send her a wry smile as I place a foot on the first rung. "Yeah, got that."

Just as I'm about to pull myself up, someone shouts, "Hey, they're back!"

Bellamy enters the dropship, completely soaked to the bone and shivering. His eyes sweep around the place to see the wet, brown leaves that cover the floor. My jaw nearly drops as Monty and Jasper follow behind with the Grounder who captured Octavia in their arms.

They drop him carelessly onto the floor with a thud that causes me to wince. A blindfold covers his eyes, and it appears that his hands are bound behind his back as well. I can see the blood crusted on his bald head from where Octavia had hit him before we rescued her.

Octavia drops the tongs with a clatter and stomps to her brother. An outraged expression burns her features with a thousand fires. "The hell are you doing?"

"It's time to get some answers," Bellamy replies with indifference clear in his tone and on his face.

"Oh, you mean revenge?" his sister fires back angrily without hesitation, nearly snarling at him.

"I mean intel," Bellamy corrects, his facial expression now almost mirroring hers. He nods to some other boys that stand nearby. "Get him upstairs." His eyes dart to me for a second. "Amazon, you may want to get out of the way."

I roll my eyes and climb upstairs, hurriedly cutting the needed wire with pliers. The two boys heave the Grounder up the ladder with immense effort. I have to wait several minutes to climb back down, not wishing to witness what they're going to do with our hostage on the top level.

I hop off the last few steps and almost completely lose my balance. My arms circle wildly in an effort to keep me on my feet, and my vision sways. An arm catches me and steadies me; my maroon half-sleeve is soaked from their grip.

I turn to see Bellamy, still dripping with water, helping me stand. He removes his hands from my waist once I'm capable of standing on my own. Even though he has let go, I can still feel where he had touched me- probably because the area is now stained with water from his skin. "Thanks."

Instead of replying with the customary, "You're welcome," he asks, "How are you feeling?"

I raise my eyebrows. "You just ventured out and captured a Grounder, brought him back here, Finn is dying, and you're asking me how I'm feeling?"

I didn't mean to say that- and definitely not as harshly as it came out. I regret it instantly. All it did was make me sound whiney and ungrateful that Bellamy cared enough to ask about my wellbeing.

Bellamy rolls his eyes and shifts his weight. "Never mind. But listen- don't come up here, got it?"

I roll my own eyes back at him and avoid his gaze. "Of course, King of the Jungle. Why ever would I, anyways?"

Bellamy blinks, clearly not amused. He holds my stare for a few seconds before climbing up the ladder. I scoff and rush to assist Clarke, who has started telling Abby about Finn's condition.

Another two steps back.

-----

there is a lot going on in these next chapters, hence why they're so freAkin long. obviously this one is much shorter than the last because i had to stop here before it got too lengthy.

stay tuned for the next update!!

-kristyn