❝because right now, you are the only part of my day that i look forward to.❞

-connor walsh, how to get away with murder

♛

A HAZY FOG SURROUNDS Clarke and I as we walk back to the Ark. The sounds of two horses' feet on the soil are the only sounds, the Grounders riding the animals holding torches to light the way. Clarke has not spoken since Lexa proposed Finn's fate. I was the one who got us out of her tent as soon as possible, guiding a stunned Clarke out as gently as I could.

"Hold your fire!" Bellamy calls from the gate as we approach. "They're back."

"Open the gate!" someone orders sharply.

Major Byrne's voice echoes through the darkness. "Power up the gate. Secure all access points. Stay ready!"

One of the guards pulls the lever to unlock the gate and heaves it open. The horse beside me lashes its tail out so hard it stings when it hits my leg. My fascination with the animal has diminished to a thought in the back of my mind compared to the news we've just been given.

Ironically, Finn runs up to us once we've entered. His eyes flicker between Clarke and I, sensing our worry. "You okay?"

I merely call back, "Shut the gate."

Bellamy approaches next, placing a gentle hand on my elbow. I can barely see his face in the lack of lighting, but I can tell he's concerned just by the tone of his voice. "Hey, what happened?"

I find myself the speechless one this time. I can't say the words out loud. Instead, I look toward the ground and don't respond.

"You can't be out here," Clarke hisses to Finn before grabbing his arm and leading him away. After a second, Bellamy and I follow them.

Abby appears out of the fog, pulling her daughter and I into separate hugs. I don't feel the sense of comfort like I usually do. The crowd gathering around us doesn't make it any better at all, only heightening my jumbled nerves.

"What'd she say?" Abby questions. "Is there a chance for a truce?"

I open my mouth. No words come out. Finn and I never had the best relationship, but I don't want to hand him over to die- especially knowing how much he means to Raven and Clarke. I can't do that to them.

"Yes," Clarke responds in a detached tone.

Finn speaks next, suspicion on his face. "What's wrong?"

"They want you." Clarke looks into his eyes for a lingering moment before returning them to her mother. "If we want a truce, we have to give them Finn."

Scattered whispers erupt from around us. I feel like they're imprisoning me, trapping me in their circle.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Raven demands, having made her way through the crowd. Her face is full of disbelief and sadness that pierces my heart.

"That's their offer," Clarke replies.

"That's not an offer," Raven counters in a voice filling with emotion.

"It's a punishment," Finn finishes for her. "For what happened at the village. Blood for blood."

At the reminder, I look toward the ground again.

"That's insane," Bellamy speaks up from behind me. I find it comforting to know he's nearby within the pressing confinement of our audience.

"If we refuse..." Abby begins, but a man in the distance cuts her off.

"I say give him to them."

"They'll attack," I whisper in reply to Abby, a lump in my throat causing my voice to come out wavering. "They won't give us the chance to leave before they come."

"I say we give him up!"

"Get rid of him."

"Yeah, go on!"

The comments from around us are getting louder and filling with more passion with each person speaking. These are the people who don't know Finn, who see him as only a delinquent whom they'd be happy to get rid of if it meant saving their own asses. Their willingness to hand him over is sick and proves just how expendable life really is for reckless teenagers who break the law.

"Give him to the Grounders," a man with a thick, curly mane of hair growls as he steps forward.

"Back off!" Raven shouts and she pushes him back. I rush toward her to pull her away from the man as he lunges toward us. Bellamy just manages to shove him away before his hands can touch us.

"Raven, wait!" I exclaim, attempting to calm her down while she wriggles in my grip. "Calm down, okay?"

"Nothing is going to happen to him," Clarke tells her. "I promise."

Raven nods, relief filling her eyes. She begins to calm down. She's still tense- I can see it in the way her fists are clenching at her sides and her jaw is set.

"I'm not dying for him!" a different man exclaims, heading toward us with a scowl on his face. "Spacewalker burned three months of oxygen from the Ark. We should have floated him a long time ago."

Before I can stop her, Raven runs toward the person with a growl. Major Byrne calls her out and rushes to break up the fight. To stop the guard from grabbing her, Raven's fist deliberately hits the blonde woman in the cheek so hard she falls backward. I feel my jaw drop in disbelief when guards pull her arms behind her back and start to handcuff her.

"No!" I shout over the chaos ensuing around me. Even with my height, I have to stand on my toes to see where they're taking her. "Stop! The hell are you doing?"

"Fallon," Abby's voice is clear despite the compressing amount of people around us, back in her motherly warning tone. I pay no attention to it and duck around the people swarming around, rushing toward the guards carrying Raven away. "Fallon!"

I follow them into the Ark, finally catching up when I get to the doors. My voice is desperate as I speak. This entire ordeal reminds me of when I had attacked Murphy for harming Bellamy and I. I already went through this unjust system- I don't want one of my best friends to follow in my footsteps.

"Hey!" I call, voice high and sharp despite the fact I know they won't listen to me. Why would they? To them, I'm nobody. "Listen to me! Where are you taking her, huh? Punishing her for a punch? Seriously?"

"Rules are rules," one of them replies gruffly without so much as a backward glance at me.

I weed my way between the wall and his body to plant myself in front of them. They're forced to stop, staring at me with blank expressions as Raven glares at them from their arms. Her face is screaming anger and flushed with red that matches her jacket.

"Sorry to break it to you, but this isn't the Ark anymore," I sneer venomously. "You can't throw someone in prison for a punch. People get hurt down here every day. What are you gonna do, lock up every person who harms someone until everyone's in jail?" I take a step forward with my eyes burning in rage. "Get over yourselves. How many times have you unfairly used those stupid batons of yours? Do we need to put you in jail for that, too? Or do you get special privileges because you're guards and can do whatever you want?"

One of them simply stares at me. "You already have one strike against you, Miss Rivers. I wouldn't deem it wise to get another."

They shove past me with incredible force, leaving me bewildered and upset beyond compare.

--

I cannot find anyone. Abby, Clarke, and Octavia are nowhere to be seen. Finn is gone - probably in hiding somewhere - and Bellamy has practically disappeared.

I stomp outside for the hundredth time, but this time from a different exit in the side of the broken Ark. My feet barely carry me two feet before I spot Murphy and turn around to start walking away before he notices. Unluckily for me, he notices.

"Long time no see, Fallon," he says smugly from his spot on a wooden crate. My fleeting glance of him was enough to tell me whatever he's been doing here has kept him busy enough not to shower in the river we encountered on our search for Jasper. His mousey hair is somewhat slicked back, sticking up in the rear of his head. It makes for a strange combination.

I roll my eyes and sigh, slowly swiveling on my feet to face him with an extremely fake grin. "Likewise, Murphy. Where have you been? Found more people to tie up?"

He chuckles humorlessly. "Look, I know that was a bad time--"

"Bad time?" I repeat incredulously with my eyes wide. "Bad time? You wanna see what a bad time it was? Look." I yank down each of my sleeves to present the ugly, brown marks that are still plainly visible from how deep they had been.

"Point is, it was stupid," Murphy says with a wince. "Now I know that killing people because I'm mad is selfish."

"And what made you come to that conclusion?" I question as I drop my hands to my sides.

Murphy raises his arms. "See where it got Finn?"

I don't respond and stare at him instead, dumbfounded. He waves and bids me farewell before walking away. It's then that I notice the gun in his hands.

"You call for his help, I shoot you."

His voice rings in my head clear as day, sneer and all. I can still see the barrel pointed right between my eyes.

"There you are."

I blink and see Bellamy heading my way the direction Murphy is leaving in. He briefly glances at the shorter boy before returning his gaze to me, calculating my expression.

"Don't punch him," I say wryly. "You might end up in prison."

He catches on to the double meaning of the sentence immediately. "What'd he say?"

"I think he was apologizing, in his own weird way," I respond, keeping my eyes on Murphy's retreating figure.

"Murphy? Apologizing?" Bellamy shakes his head. "Never thought I'd see the day."

I nod in agreement and shift my gaze to the two Grounders waiting just outside the gate, their horses whinnying impatiently. My breath catches before it comes out shakily. They're waiting for Finn.

"This whole ordeal is almost unbelievable," I say with narrowed eyes. "I mean, yeah, Finn killed people. But they killed us, too." I glance at Bellamy, who pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. "Roma. John. Diggs. Jones. Who will pay for their lives when they were killed for sport?"

Bellamy's eyes become glassy and distant at the mention of the names of those who had been killed on the day we looked for Octavia. Slowly, he pulls me to his front and presses a gentle kiss on my temple. "It'll all work out."

I try my best to believe it, but with the way things are looking, I doubt they will.

--

"Wick, come on," I beg, pleading with the blond-haired engineer who looks nowhere near close to giving in. "Just two minutes for me to sneak out. Wait half an hour, then two minutes again. Please."

Wick sighs and turns around to face me. He holds two scraps of metal in his hands, tinkering with them aimlessly. "I can't just turn off the gate whenever you kids want me to, especially when there are two heavily armed Grounders right outside it!"

"They probably don't even know it's electrified," I counter. "Look, I just want to take a damn shower this early in the morning so I can be clean. If the plumbing was already fixed, I wouldn't be asking."

Wick leans against the workbench behind him and raises his eyebrows. His expression of doubt annoys me, but Raven had said he was good at doing his job, so I had to come to him. He chuckles in amusement. "You expect to just be able to sneak away when there's a barricade out there?"

"Yes," I reply bluntly. "I've been 'sneaking away' since I was nine. Besides, they weren't smart enough to block us off on all sides."

Wick blows air out of the corner of his mouth and turns so his back is to me again. I hear him set the metal down, then he grips the edges of the table with his shoulders tensed.

"All right," he finally complies before whirling around and pointing a finger at me. "But if you're not back in half an hour, good luck getting in."

I send him a grin and nod. "You have my word."

A minute and a half later, a towel is draped over one arm as I walk to my destination. The crisp air serves as a fresh reminder of the oncoming winter season, making a shiver go down my spine at the thought of snow. It's both exciting and nerve-wracking to know I'll experience it for the first time in my life.

I stay in my clothes this time once I reach the waterfall, only removing my jacket and half-sleeve so my bare arms brace the cold through my gray tank top. My hair tumbles down my back in knotted waves when I take out my ponytail. The soap in hand is from the Ark and therefore smells like absolutely nothing. I find myself missing Monty's citrus-scented one that had made me smell good for days.

The water chills me to the bone when I lower myself in. It's not as cold as I expected, but it still sends shivers throughout my body. I more or less hobble toward the waterfall and brace myself before going under. My shoulders tense as the water completely encases me in its cool temperature, soaking through my clothes in an instant.

I barely stand there for more than two minutes before someone clears their throat from behind me. My eyes shoot open as my heart gives a jolt in my chest. Acting on instinct, I gasp and swing my elbow back in order to try to nail the person in the base of their throat. Instead, they catch my arm with their hand and chuckle.

I'm only mildly surprised when I turn to see Bellamy. He has this smile on his face that both annoys me and sends butterflies swarming in my stomach. Slowly, he lowers my arm while I glower at him.

"You scared the hell out of me," I snap with my eyes narrowed.

"I could tell." He takes a step forward so he can stick an arm into the rushing water just inches from me. "Damn, that's cold. How can you stand it?"

I shrug. Then, moving with all the speed I can in knee-deep water, I trudge closer to an unsuspecting Bellamy. My hands curl around the front of his blue shirt and I push him, forcing his feet to walk him backward.

"What are you doing?" he asks, eyebrows pinched in confusion as he struggles not to fall on the uneven ground and move through the water at the same time. I respond only with a smug smirk. My eyes flicker to the nearing rush of water for only half a second, but Bellamy notices and starts to turn his head. With one last final shove, Bellamy stands submerged beneath the waterfall.

Now it's my turn to laugh- Bellamy looks ridiculous. His mouth is wide open and his shoulders are tensed and shrugged as the cold water rushes over him. His black hair flattens against his face and his shirt sticks to his skin like a second layer.

And suddenly I don't think it's so funny anymore. Because, okay. Bellamy looks hot.

I force myself not to laugh and instead continue to hold him there, hands still clinging to his shirt. He moves forward a bit so he can breathe and blinks his eyes open. My own narrow into slits and my jaw clenches as water droplets drip from his eyelashes. We stay like that for a solid five seconds, my gaze locked on his, until I can't take it any longer.

Bellamy inhales deeply when I press my lips to his, my fingers still curled around the wet fabric of his shirt. It only takes me an instant to know that this kiss is much different than any other. I can feel a knot in my stomach that tightens when he tilts his head slightly to deepen the kiss, shifting his hands to my hips.

He moves me backward as gracefully as he can muster in the water until I'm pressed against the cold wall of rock surrounding the waterfall. My arms slide from his shirt to the back of his neck, winding my fingers through his damp curls. A blush warms my cheeks at a low rumble in his throat.

I think I may actually explode when his lips move from mine to down my neck. My breath hitches in my throat, my head automatically tilting to the side as his mouth trails over my skin. I flutter my eyes open and stare up at the cloudy sky in order to keep myself grounded.

I accidentally clench my fists once I feel his teeth grazing my skin, completely forgetting they're in his hair. My throat clears so it isn't the hoarse groan I expect it to be. "Bell, if you don't stop now, I don't think we're going back anytime soon."

Bellamy chuckles lowly in his throat and straightens up so he can kiss me again. When he pulls back, face only inches from mine, I notice his lips are swollen.

"God, everyone's gonna know," I sigh.

"I think everyone knew as soon as I left," Bellamy informs me. I glare at him and remove a hand from his curls to slap him lightly on the chest. He laughs and releases me from his hold, making me feel colder than before. "C'mon, finish your shower. I'll be waiting over on this rock."

He plops himself down on the place where my jacket and boots are, raising an expectant eyebrow at me once he sees I'm not moving. My gaze shifts from him to my bare feet beneath the water.

"I hate you," I mutter beneath my breath before heading back to the waterfall. When I look down, I notice a red mark on the base of my collarbone from Bellamy and huff. I have nothing to cover it with. "What were you even thinking when you followed me out here?"

"I saw you leave and didn't want you to do something stupid," he replies innocently. "Plus, I need a shower myself. Looks like I got one."

I roll my eyes and find myself too embarrassed to finish with him sitting right there. It's probably been only ten minutes, but I can't fight off the blush from my cheeks. I hurriedly lather soap on and wash it off before wading through the water and joining Bellamy on the rock.

"Finn is going to die and we're here making out," I say quietly with a humorless laugh. "We're horrible people."

"What else is new?" Bellamy teases with a shrug. I hit him in the arm and he chuckles. "Easy, there, Amazon. I was joking." He wets his lips before continuing, looking at me solemnly. "Besides, we'll protect Finn for as long as we can."

I shake my head. "Lexa will give us no choice. I'm starting to think protecting him is for nothing. I don't want him to die in such a way, but..."

Bellamy nods with his lips pulled into a line. "I understand. But we have to keep fighting."

"I know," I sigh and nestle my head into his shoulder. "I just wish things were easier."

"Me too," he says with his voice half-caught in his throat. "Me too."

-------

fallon and bellamy: finn's gonna die oh no better solve it by making out

all my love is going out to those in orlando after what happened today. it's so sick and heartbreaking to hear ):

-kristyn