Sam Winchester x Reader

Synopsis: Christmas was always a hard time of year for you. Sam wanted to make sure that this Christmas made you smile.

Sighing unhappily, you stared down at the picture that was in one hand, before taking a sip from the whiskey bottle in the other. As a tear slipped down your cheek, you pulled the blanket further up as you lounged back in your bed, dressed in your warmest but rattiest pair of pajamas. 

Your home, the bunker, was always chilly and damp, but even more so in the winter months. After hearing you complain last year, Sam had surprised you with a portable heater, but even with that running today, you couldn't warm up.

It might not be the cold air in your room that had you shivering in bed. It could be the memories rushing through your mind, bringing back all the negative thoughts and feelings you tried so hard to hide every year. Christmas was always hard for you, after a Demon had gone on a killing spree, killing your family as they waited for you to come home from college. With hope in your eyes, and a fresh look to life, you had opened the door, expecting to smell the Christmas dinner cooking, and your siblings arguing over the TV. Dead silence met you as you opened the door, and the metallic smell of blood in the air. With your heart in your throat you had stepped inside, tears falling as you took in your family, bloody and lifeless around the Christmas tree.

Sam and Dean had come, killing the Demon, and taking you under their wing. College was out of the question, your old life seeming useless and wrong. Instead, you had learned to hunt, while slowly falling in love with the younger, sweet brother. 

Now, here you were, five years later, the memories still as fresh as if they had happened yesterday. The heartache still as hard to handle, and the thought of Christmas bringing a sob to your throat. That's one thing that living with Sam and Dean made easier, they didn't celebrate any holidays. 

"Y/N?" Sam asked softly, leaning against the door frame. You hadn't even heard him enter the room, and you tried to wipe away the tears, not wanting to be caught crying. "What's wrong?"

"It's Christmas." You whispered. "It's supposed to be the best time of the year. But it's when my parents died, and all the decorations bring back bad memories."

He sat down on the bed, pulling you onto his lap, letting you rest your head on his chest. Gently rubbing your back, his words were soft. "What if we tried to make some new memories for Christmas? I know you'll never forget what happened to your family, but maybe we can make it so Christmas isn't so hard for you."

"Thanks Sam." You answered. "But I think I'd just rather stay in bed and sleep." Sliding out of his arms, you set the bottle on the nightstand, before scooting down until your head was resting on your pillow.

Sighing, Sam stood up, staring down at you for a moment before leaving the room, leaving you alone to your thoughts. In a way you had wished you had gone with Sam's idea. Christmas had always been your favorite time of the year, and you missed it very much. You just weren't sure if you would ever be able to celebrate the day without remembering the horrifying deaths of your family.

With tears drying on your cheeks, you stared at the picture of your family one more time before sitting it down on Sam's pillow. Closing your eyes, exhausted from the emotions running through your system, you let sleep overtake you. Because in sleep you couldn't feel, and that's all you wanted. Oblivion from the pain this time of year brought you.

________________________________________________

"Y/N, wake up." Sam's voice sounded from next to your ear as his large hands carefully shook your shoulder, waking you from you nap. 

"Hmm, Sam?" You mumbled, your brain still trying to wake up.

"Come on, I've got a surprise for you." He insisted, and you sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Your boyfriend's smile seemed nervous and unsure, as he waited for you to move. Throwing your legs out of bed, you stood up, yawning as you brushed back your hair.

"What is it?" You asked him, as he grasped your hand, pulling you out of your bedroom. 

"I can't tell you yet. It's a surprise." He said again, and you let yourself be led down the hallway, into the library. Stopping suddenly, you almost ran into his back, stopping yourself at the last moment.

"Now!" Sam exclaimed, standing to the side just as the library exploded into a multitude of lights. Strands of lights were everywhere, with garland and decorations. Cas and Dean stood off to the side, both of them staring at you nervously. Looking around, your eyes wide as you took everything in, you felt Sam's hand slip into yours, squeezing tightly.

"I hope this okay. I know Christmas is hard, but I thought we could make some new memories. But if it's not, I understand, and we will take it down." He chattered quickly, nerves making his words fast.

Stepping into the room, you saw cookies and hot chocolate on the table, and a Christmas tree in the corner. Everything was decorated wonderfully, and for a moment, all you could think about was that fateful day five years ago. Feeling your palms turn sweaty and your heart beat pick up, you took a step back, ready to run and hide in the safe confines of your room. But one look at Sam, who had noticed your hesitation and was looking like a kicked puppy, you stayed, trying to stay calm.

"It's beautiful." You whispered, because it truly was. "How did you get it all done?"

"Cas." Both Sam and Dean answered, and you glanced at the Angel who seemed a little bashful. "We told him what we wanted, and he brought us the decorations."

Walking forward, you ran your fingers along the garland that was wrapped around one the posts, seeing presents under the tree. Sam followed you in, rushing over and grabbing one of the mugs from the table. "Here, hot chocolate."

Smiling up at the adorable man, you took it from him, sipping at the creamy, hot liquid. Dean came forward, pressing a chaste kiss to your mouth. "Please, give this a chance. He really wants to help you. He cares about you a lot."

You nodded, and Dean relaxed. "Cas and I will be working on Christmas dinner in the kitchen." He said, pulling the Angel along with him, leaving you alone with Sam.

"Y/N, please tell me what you're thinking." Sam begged, as you walked over to the tree. Glass ornaments covered the branches, but one caught your eye. It was a photo frame, and you pulled it off the tree, a tear slipping down your cheek as you gazed down at it. It was the four of you, including Cas, about a month ago. Cas had wanted to go to a fair, and you had begged and pleaded with Sam and Dean, wanting to go too. Sam couldn't say no to you, and soon the four of you were riding rides, and eating sickeningly sweet items. A booth at the end took old time pictures, and after a little prodding you had all of them standing with you, smiling for the camera, dressed in silly garb from the Old West.

"I love this picture." You told him, as he brushed away the stray tear. Turning you until you were facing him, he tilted your face up so your were gazing at him.

"Why are you crying? This was the wrong move, wasn't it?" He hedged, nervously biting his lip.

"Because this is beautiful. I've been mashing Christmas up with my families death, but in truth I should be using Christmas to remember them by. Thank you for reminding me of that." You admitted to him, gently cupping his cheek with your hand.

"I thought maybe, if you could spend Christmas with your new family, create new memories, it would help fight the old ones." He told you, pulling you in tight for a hug.

"It was the right thing to do. Sam, thank you for always being there for me." You said against his chest.

Releasing you from his hug, he kneeled down, taking a small wrapped box from underneath the tree. "I've got one more memory we could create." He said, staying on his knee and holding the box in front of him. "Y/N, I've loved you from the moment you came into our lives. I can't imagine my life without you in it, and I will do anything within my power to make you smile. Would you please do me the pleasure of becoming my wife?"

Nodding emphatically, you grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet, before throwing your arms around his shoulders, pressing your lips to his. Laughing against your lips, he leaned back. "Aren't you going to open your present?"

"Of course!" You exclaimed, taking it from him. Tearing at the paper, you gasped at the beautiful ring nestled inside the box. Sam took it from you then, sliding the ring carefully onto your finger.

"Dude, did she say yes?" Dean asked from the door, with Cas right beside him.

"Yes she did." Sam answered, his arm around your shoulder. "And hopefully this will be one of the first good Christmas memories in a long line of them."

"The best Christmas memory." You agreed. And while you still ached for your lost family, the thought of your new one, along with an amazing fiancee made the ache a little less.