Dean Winchester x Reader

Synopsis: Song Challenge on Tumblr. Dean has the Mark and you're trying to stand by him even though he keeps trying to push you away.

It was crazy how one little thing could wreck your life. Turn your entire life upside down, and step on it as if it was nothing more than a bug. How it could make you see things differently. It could make you hate the color red, when it used to be your favorite color. But how could you love it anymore when it coated the hands of the man you loved. Red all around him as his eyes pleaded with you to understand, while at the same time empty of the nurturing soul you loved. Kneeling down, you had grabbed those hands, not caring the red transferred to you, that you were now tainted and stained.

"Dean." You breathed out, trying to hide your heartbreak as you stared at the shell of the man who used to be so strong, so fierce. Now he was like a puppet on string, doing the will of the Mark you despised. "Dean, please." You didn't know what you were begging him for. To maybe tell you he had no choice, that he had to kill these people or be killed in return. Or maybe you were pleading for him to assure you he was back to normal. That he wasn't going to kill you in heartbeat. Whatever it was, you couldn't get the rest of the words out.

Hands, put your empty hands in mine

And scars—show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine so yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

It was hard, oh so hard, watching your tough man staring up at you like a broken child. "Dean, it's alright. I'm here." You promised him, squeezing his hands. With tears in your eyes, you watched as he tilted his head up, his gaze broken and confused. Tears shined in his eyes. "I did this." He muttered, glancing at the carnage around him, the blood the two of you were kneeling in. "Y/N, I'm a monster."

"No, no you're not." You assured him, reaching up to cup his cheek, but he pulled his head away from you, so fast. "It wasn't you."

Taking his hands from yours, he stared down at the red covering them. Dark and stained, they were the hands of a killer. But it wasn't your Dean who had done the killing, but the Mark controlling him. 

"It was my hands." He whispered, as if in a trance. "It was my body. I saw red, and I couldn't stop. I was possessed, and I couldn't stop. So much red."

Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes
And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I
And, love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

"Dean, I know you blame yourself, that your hurting, but it wasn't you." You insisted again, watching as his tear filled eyes turned your way once again. The green even deeper with the pain and guilt he was feeling.

"You need to run. Leave me here and don't look back before you're laying on the ground like them." He pleaded with you. 

"I am not going anywhere. You need me with you now more than ever, and I refuse to just walk away and leave you here." You told him. "We made a promise, a long time ago. To stay with each other, through everything that might try to push us apart. I'm not running. I'm standing by you."

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

As your words sunk into his hazy and grief filled mind, he collapsed upon you, his arms wrapping tightly around you, his hand holding the back of your skull as he rocked back and forth. It was a hard thing to watch, the strong man turning into a broken one right in front of your eyes, but you knew he needed you now more than ever. 

"I don't deserve you. I break everything I touch. Why can't you see that?" His voice broke as he said the words. "I'm no better than the monsters we hunt!"

"No you aren't." You argued. "Now let's get you out of here, and cleaned up. Maybe you'll feel better then."

Reaching for his hand, you tried to stand up, but he refused to budge from his kneeling spot on the ground. Sam was standing behind him, his eyes wide as he glanced at you. Giving a tiny shake of your head, you stayed with Dean, knowing you would stay with him anywhere. "I can't. I..." He started, his eyes red rimmed and full of unshed tears. "It's like this personal hell I'm stuck in. And I don't know how to escape. But I do know if I don't escape I might hurt you. I can't have that."

"Dean, you won't hurt me. I believe in you. I'm by your side in this, through thick and thin remember? Even if that means walking through hell to help you, I'm here."

Yeah, you're all I never knew I needed
And the heart—sometimes it's unclear why it's beating
And, love, if your wings are broken
We can brave through those emotions, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

With those words Dean finally decided to move. Acting as an old man, he used you for support, the blood rage wearing him out. Letting him lean on you, you walked him past a silent Sam, who was staring at the wreckage behind you. Out the door, into the pouring rain. A fitting scene to the emotions running through you. With Dean's warm body leaning on yours, you couldn't help the love flowing through you. There had been no other man to touch your heart the way Dean had, and he deserved your support and love even more now than ever. 

Oh, truth—I guess truth is what you believe in
And faith—I think faith is having a reason
And I know now, love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

As you helped him slide into the backseat of the Impala, Sam silently climbing behind the wheel, Dean grasped your hand. "Why?" He asked you, the question coming out in a whisper.

One word, but you knew exactly what he meant. While Dean usually acted like a carefree, ferocious hunter, deep down he was afraid that everyone he loved would eventually leave him. That's why it had been so hard for the two of you at first. He kept pushing you away, and you kept coming back, assuring him you could handle him, and the life he led.

"Because I love you, more than the bees love flowers. You are my rock, and I want to be there for you to. I want you to finally realize that you have someone else, not just me, but Sam, that you can lean on. That we are here for you. I am here for you. I will be by your side, giving you a shoulder to lean on when you need it. A hug when the world seems too much. Something to believe in when the rest of the world is dark and dreary." 

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

"I don't know what to believe in." He whispered, looking like a lost little kid. "I believed in the mark, in the fact it would solve our problems, but all it's done is cause more. I don't feel like myself anymore. The mark is turning me into something I don't want to be, and it scares me."

"Well, I won't let it." You assured him. "And you won't either. Dean you are stronger than you give yourself credit. But I will be here, making sure that you fight. That when you think you can't keep fighting, I'll be there, pushing you forward. Walking, crawling, no matter what. We will continue to move forward, as we try to find a way past it.

I'll be your eyes 'til yours can shine
And I'll be your arms, I'll be your steady satellite
And when you can't rise, well, I'll crawl with you on hands and knees
'Cause I... I'm gonna stand by you

As Sam pulled the Impala away from the bloodshed inflicted by the Mark, Dean curled up against you. Running your fingers through his hair, you let him sink against you, his head resting on your chest. As his eyes closed, his exhaustion slowly pulling him under, you pressed your lips against his temple. "Dean, I know you're scared. I know the Mark is a dangerous and bloody thing. But you are not in this alone. You've got me, and you've got Sam. We are with you in this, no matte what. I'm always gonna stand by you."

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through, come on
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Love, you're not alone
Oh, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven
Yeah, I'm gonna stand by you