Dean Winchester x Reader

Sitting there at the bar, you downed your third shot of whiskey that night, the burn welcome. It had become your norm. Finding a cheap hotel room, before heading to the bar, sitting there until it closed. Repeating the next day, before moving on to another town. Always covering your tracks, making sure those that once knew you would have a challenging time finding you.

Gone was your sweet little Volkswagen bug. In its place was a sleek black motorcycle. It mirrored your new image, black and dark, with no room for baggage, or anyone else. It was your pride and joy. Staring at yourself in the bar's mirror, you knew that your transportation wasn't the only thing had changed. Gone was the smiling face, the sweet face of a girl who trusted too easily. In its place was hard lines, a dangerous edge and a frown.

It seemed to draw men, always offering free drinks and rides to hotels. But you never took them up on it. Sure, you might have completely changed, but you still couldn't see past Dean, and the love you had once held for him. You just couldn't see yourself having a one night stand with some nameless stranger.

Keeping away from hunting, you just tried to survive. To figure out a new purpose in life. Besides drinking enough so you didn't see a certain green-eyed hunter in your dreams.

Ready to order another drink, you raised your hand, only to have a strong grip hold it down. Turning to see who had blocked your way, you only raised an eyebrow at the man standing next to. "What? A girl can't order a drink around here?" You asked him, your words slurring slightly from the alcohol already swirling around your system.

"I'm not stopping you from getting a drink." He answered, letting go of your hand and sitting down on the stool next to yours. "I'm just here to check on you."

Ignoring him, you raised your hand, ordering a double. You figured you would need it dealing with the overbearing angel. "Well, you see me, now you can leave me alone." You muttered, downing your shot, hoping the angel would go away.

"Y/N, we're just worried about you." He continued, not noticing that you didn't want him there with you. Or not caring.

"Well, you can see I'm fine. So, go tattling back to your buddies." You insisted, but he grasped your chin, turning you to face him.

"You are far from fine." He said, studying you closely. "What did Dean do to you?"

Pulling back from his grasp, you reached behind you, grabbing your coat before standing up to leave this bar. "He just opened my eyes, that's all. You can thank him for that."

Without a glance back, you strode through the door, a confused and disappointed angel left behind you.

Dean's POV

Unable to sleep, I had spent the night pacing the library, waiting for Cas to come back, to let me know that Y/N was alright. The whiskey bottle taunted me as I paced past it. It would be a welcome relief from the pain and guilt I was facing, but I would not give myself the relief it could offer. I wouldn't let myself relax until I had Y/N back and I could apologize for the pain I had caused.

"Dean, why aren't you sleeping?" Sam asked groggily, standing in the hallway, his hair sticking out everywhere.

"I can't. I can't relax until I know she's okay. Y/N's so sweet, and trusting, I hope she hasn't already gotten into trouble." I answered him, sitting down at the table, resting my head in my hands.

"Dean, I found her." Cas said from behind me, startling both me and my brother.

"Thank god." I answered, standing up and turning to face him. But the expression on his face wasn't one I was expecting, and before I knew it, he had me pinned against the wall, his hand at my throat. "What the hell did you do to her?"

"Cas, please. Just let me know she's okay." I pleaded, not evening caring if he pummeled me into oblivion as long as he told me she was okay.

"I'm not sure what your definition of okay would be." He answered, his face a mask of fury and it was directed directly at me.

"Is she alive?" I asked him, making no move to get away.

"She's alive. But the Y/N we all knew and loved is gone, and I'm not sure she will ever come back." He answered, my heart shattering with each and every word. It was my worst dream, and it had come true. Soon, the only thing holding me up with his hands around my neck, but I didn't care.

"No." I whispered, my face pale.

"Yes. The sweet, loving Y/N has turned into something I cannot even recognize. Her car is gone, her carefree personality. She seems broken, and cold." He continued, shredding my heart in the process.

"Take me to her!" I insisted. "I need to see if I can fix this."

"I don't think you can." He answered, but I didn't care.

"I have to. Please take me. I can at least try!" I pleaded, tears in my eyes.

"Fine. But Dean, be prepared. This is not our normal Y/N you will see." He answered.

"I don't care. Let's go now!" I insisted, not liking the look on his face.

"I cannot go now. I'm exhausted from looking at her. There is now way I can bring you, and Sam with me." He answered, and I frowned.

"Fine. Then tell me where she is, and I'll drive there! I can't just sit here, and wait!" I answered. "I created this, and I need to fix it."

After Cas rattled off an answer, I raced out of the room, heading for the Impala. Sam was barely climbing into the passenger seat before I had her out of the garage, heading towards the small-town Cas said she was last seen at.

Silently I drove the Impala, my jaw clenched as I white knuckled the steering wheel. "Dean, it's Y/N. Once you talk to her, she'll be okay. She'll come back."

"I'm not so sure Sam." I answered him. "You heard Cas. What if I've changed her forever."

Your POV

After Cas had found you, you considered leaving town, finding a new place to hide in. You had no doubt he would tell Sam and Dean, but in the end, you figured Dean wouldn't care anyways. He had already ordered you away, telling you that you were nothing but trouble. That you had been too sweet, too trusting. Well that was over with now, you chuckled to yourself. He probably wouldn't even recognize you. Not that he would come to find you. You were out of his hair, and that's all that mattered.

Instead of heading back to the same bar that Cas had found you at, you found one at the edge of town, far away from your motel room, but you didn't mind. It was run down, the customer's grimy and aged, but it had whiskey and that's all that mattered to you.

Sitting down at the bar, you ordered a jack and coke, watching the group of men playing pool close by. They were rambunctious, and you could see the empty pitchers scattered around them, showing exactly how much they had already been drinking.

You knew they had seen you the moment you had walked in. Elbowing and raised eyebrows as they pointed you out, you knew at one point one man would come up to you, trying to persuade you to head home with him for the night. Considering it for a moment, you wondered if having a one night stand would clear your mind of the green-eyed demon still haunting your thoughts. But you couldn't do it. No matter how much you had hardened, you still couldn't bring yourself to sleep with a random stranger.

Sighing, you finished off your drink, ordering another. "Hey there pretty girl." One of the men from the pool table finally came over, leaning against the table, his gaze on your cleavage instead of your face. "Room for one more?"

"It's a free bar." You answered, sipping your drink, your attention on the horse racing on the TV instead of the man trying so hard to impress.

"What's your name?" He asked, sitting down next to you.

"Not interested." You answered, earning a slight chuckle from the man.

"Playing hard to get. But seriously. What's your name? Can't buy a pretty girl a drink without knowing her name." He insisted.

"Well, it's a good thing I don't want another drink." You answered, amazed at how much you had changed. Just a week ago you wouldn't have minded this guy's attention. You would have listened to him, getting to know him, maybe even giving him your phone number in the long run. But you were done trusting people.

With a sigh, he tried once more. "Listen, I don't know if somebody hurt you, but I'll I want to do is share a drink, maybe a little conversation. Is that too much to ask?"

Dean's POV

It had taken only four hours to make it to the town Cas had last seen her. Sam had stayed silent the entire ride, knowing that he couldn't say anything I was already telling myself. At one point Cas had made his way into the backseat, still looking awfully pale and tired.

Checking the hotels first, I looked for any sign of her bubbly old Volkswagen bug, or even the sleek black motorcycle Cas had warned me she was currently riding. Each one came up empty and I began to worry that I might have missed her. That she might have already left town. Cas gave me directions to the bar, but it turned up empty as well.

Frantic, I kept driving around, hoping for some glance at her. Wishing that I would be given a second chance. It wasn't until we were almost out of town, out of options that Cas slammed the back of the seat, yelling stop at the same time. "Dean, there it is! Her motorcycle!"

Slamming on the brakes, I barely made the turn into the bar's parking lot. It was an older bar, barely hanging on to life. A handful of cars were parked outside, but I did see a nice-looking motorcycle parked in the back of the lot, in the shadows. Parking next to it, I glanced towards Sam and Cas. "Guys, please let me do this alone. If it doesn't work, I'll let you know."

I watched as both men considered my request before nodding. Slipping out of the Impala, I made my way to the garage, my hair beating furiously. In a way, I was not ready to see Y/N again, to see the damage I had inflicted. Stepping inside, I spotted her immediately. Her back was turned to me, a drink at her hand. My jaw clenched at the sight of the man standing next to her, trying his hardest to hit on her.

The Y/N I knew and loved would be smiling back at him, unable to see he wanted her for nothing more than a quick lay. Seeing her cold gaze, her disinterest had me realizing how much damage I had actually done. Enough damage that I wasn't sure I could fix everything.

Not wanting to try anything yet, I sat down at a booth, quietly ordering a beer. Y/N was having nothing to do with the man, her entire demeanor cold and unyielding. Making the wrong move, the man reached forward, attempting to touch her, and she snapped. Slamming her fist into his jaw, he staggered back and she stood up, tossing cash onto the bar. As she moved to leave the bar, I stood up, not wanting to lose my chance.

"Y/N, wait!" I exclaimed, watching as her entire body froze up. Taking a moment to compose herself, she turned to face me.

Your POV

After enough attempts to make the jerk listen, you finally gave up, letting your fist do the talking. It was a little pleasing as the man stepped back, before you stood up, planning on leaving the bar, and the town far behind. It wasn't until you heard that familiar voice, deep and smooth, that you froze in my spot. Not expecting him to actually come after you, you could feel your resolve crumbling, without even glancing into his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, you turned to face him, drinking the sight of him in. He looked horrible, with dark circles under his eyes. "What are you doing here?" You asked him, your bravado still strong even though you didn't feel like it.

"I came to apologize. Please, can we talk?" He pleaded with you, and you couldn't say no. Furious that he was stripping all your defenses, you grabbed his beer, taking a deep sip.

"Talk. Then I'm leaving town." You insisted.

"Y/N, I'm so freaking sorry. I know words won't ever make things better. But I need to try." He started, his eyes pleading with you to understand.

"Fine, try."

"When I said those things, I didn't mean them. They were said harshly, without thought, and I've been kicking myself ever since. Y/N, I loved the way you were. You were sweet, and kind, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. You made Sam and I better."

You tensed at the word love, but you had a feeling he didn't even mean it. "Dean, it's too late. That girl is long gone. Thanks for nothing."

Standing up to leave, you bit your lip when he reached back out, stopping you. "I hope not. Because I loved that girl, with all my heart. And I will do anything in my power to get her back."

"You loved me?" You whispered, completely shaken to the core that Dean Winchester loved you. Or loved the girl that you had been. "But Dean, I'm not that girl anymore. And I don't think I can go back."

"I still love you." He insisted. "Please, just come home. We can work things out, but I need you back with me. Please."

"You're not saying this just because you feel guilty?" You asked, your resolve breaking, just a little bit.

"No." He assured you. "Feeling guilty brought me here, but I care for you too much to let you go."

"But what happens when I mess up again? Are you going to yell at me, toss me away once again?" You asked, still hurting over that fact.

"Never. Come back with me, and you'll never leave me side again." He answered. "Please. At least come back. We can work everything else out slowly."

Taking a deep breath, you considered your options. You could travel around, being lonely and cold for the rest of your life. Or you could go back to the Bunker, and try to live once again.

"Fine, I'll go with you." You told him, watching as a huge smile broke out on his face. "We'll start slowly. But the moment you turn on me, I'm gone, and there will be no more chances. Got it?"

"I've got it. And I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't regret coming back." He told you, grabbing your hand and pulling you from the booth. Following him outside, you glanced longingly at your bike, before surprising Cas by sliding in the backseat beside him.

"Welcome back Y/N!" Sam said from the front seat, a huge smile on his face from having you back.

"Hi Sam." You answered, as Dean slid into the front seat. Starting the car, Dean caught your gaze, a smile playing at his lips as he turned the car towards home. You didn't have the heart to warn him that while you were coming home, it wasn't the girl he had fallen in love with. The girl from before was still long gone, and you weren't sure what type of girl was heading back home to the bunker.