With your one good eye, you saw his Angel blade slide out of his pocket, and he held it above your heart. With your hand, you grasped his wrist, pleading with him. "Cas. I know you're in there." You said as his hand clenches around the hilt. I know you can hear me. Cas, it's me Y/N. I need you. I love you."  

As the last three words left your busted lips, tears fell down your cheek. With your eye that hadn't swollen over yet, you stared up at him, waiting for the inevitable. For him to stab your heart with his Angel Blade. It couldn't hurt any worse than the heart break he had put you through already.

Mumbling, "I love you." You watched as he face went threw a variety of emotions, and you could tell he was struggling against whoever was holding him. His hand was clenched around the handle of the blade, as it came closer and closer to your chest.

"No, I won't!" He finally yelled, closing his eyes as he dropped the blade and released the bruising grip he had on your arm. Without his support you swayed on the floor, almost falling over. 

Reaching down, he picked up the Angel Tablet, and you watched as the tablet glowed a bright yellow, the light traveling up his arm, causing his eyes to glow. Feeling so weak, you couldn't even look away from the light hurting your eyes, you watched as it cleared away, before he looked down at you.

Immediately you could tell the difference. His blue eyes were clear and focused, his forehead creased in lines as he tried to make sense of everything. As he tore his gaze away from the tablet in his hand, he gazed down at you in shock. With his free hand he reached down towards you, and you reeled back, afraid of anymore pain. Your face was bruised and bloody, with multiple fractures in your face. "Cas, no! Please, I can't take anymore!"

"I'm so sorry." Cas repeated over and over, before moving to reach down to touch your face.

"Cas, no don't touch her!" Dean yelled, finally awake. Out of the corner of your eye you saw him rushing towards Cas, tackling him and knocking him to the ground. You wanted to get up, to help them, to make sure Dean didn't kill Cas, but as you started to move you felt yourself start to black out.

"No, please." You whispered, shaking your head, crying out at the pain it caused. "Dean, please no."

He must have heard you, and his hand that was wrapped around Cas' neck stopped pressing as he looked up at you. "Y/N, he tried to kill you! He's not the man he used to be." He argued, grabbing your discarded Angel Blade in his hand.

"Dean, please. He was being controlled," You mumbled, feeling a loose tooth as you talked. 

"Is that true?" Dean asked, holding the blade to Cas' neck.

Cas nodded, his eyes glancing back to you as you held onto the shelf for support, the pain almost more than you could bear. "Naomi's been controlling me since she released me from Purgatory."

Dean pulled the blade back, still not completely trusting the Angel. With it tightly in his hand he came over to you, holding his hand out. Reaching up, you grabbed it, pulling yourself to your feet, swaying with the effort. Dean wrapped his arm around your waist, supporting you as Cas took a hesitant step forward.

"Please, let me heal you." He begged, raising his hand, causing you to flinch.

"Y/N, your injuries are severe. Please let him. I'll be right beside you." Dean insisted, and taking a deep breath you nodded to Cas.

He came much closer, his blue eyes full of guilt as he cupped your cheek gently. Holding yourself still so you wouldn't pull away, it broke your heart to know this was the man you loved who had made you timid around him.

Feeling a warm sensation in your face, you closed your eyes, opening them seconds later when your face felt as good as new. As soon as your eyes were open, Cas leaned back down, picking up the Angel tablet.

"Now what?" Dean asked him, his hand still supporting you though you no longer needed it.

"Now I protect this tablet." Cas answered simply.

"From Naomi?" You asked, and he nodded.

"Yes, and from you." He explained. "Dean, I know I have no right to ask for this, but can you please give me a moment with Y/N?"

Dean was quiet, looking between the two of you before nodding. Looking at you, he squeezed your hand. "I'm going to be right outside the door. Here's your blade. Be safe." Kissing you on your forehead, he left you alone with Cas.

"What is it Cas? Don't you think you've tormented me enough?" You huffed out, not wanting anything else to go wrong today.

"Y/N, I don't know how long I will be gone guarding this tablet. But before I go, I need to explain some things." He said quietly enough so Dean couldn't hear.

"Fine, explain." You muttered, crossing your arms across your chest.

Sighing, he sat the tablet down, before taking a step closer to you. "This entire time, I was acting this way to push you away from me. It was the only thing I could think to do."

"Why?" You questioned, letting him grab your hand and hold it, the familiar touch bringing a pang to your heart.

"Naomi, she knew you were my weakness. She said I couldn't have any weaknesses, I was to do her bidding, and think about nothing else. She even had me kill you, over and over, a thousand times until I could do it without hesitating. Watching you die in front of me, it was the worst thing I've ever experienced. I thought if I could push you away, then I wouldn't have to take the chance of Naomi ordering me to kill you."

Gasping in shock at his admission, you acted without thought, throwing your arms around his shoulders. "Cas, that woman sounds horrible! But why didn't you say something? Anything would have been better than thinking you hated me!"

Pushing you back, away from him, he continued. "I wasn't allowed to say anything. To give anything away. And for a while there, it was what I was actually feeling. She did a good job making me follow her orders, and I will never be able to forgive myself for it. You almost died at my hand, and that's not acceptable."

"Cas, what does that mean for us now?" You asked quietly, not sure you wanted to hear his answer.

"I hope that someday I can earn your forgiveness. Until then, I will do everything in my power to prove to you the fact that that wasn't me. I love you, more than anything, and I would rather die then let Naomi coerce me into hurting you again." He told you, pulling you into a hug and you rested your head against him, thankful you had your Angel back. 

"You said something about guarding the Tablet. What's that mean?" You questioned him, as you felt him kiss the top of your head.

"You won't like this. But I need to vanish for a while. I won't even be able to contact you. This Tablet is wanted by too many people. I'll keep moving, keep it out of harms reach for as long as possible. But just because I'm gone doesn't mean I don't love you. As soon as I can, I will come for you, and we can work things out. Please, promise me you will wait."

"Of course I will wait." You assured him. "Even though you were an Ass to me today, I understand why, and I forgive you. But please, be safe and come back to me soon!"

"I promise." He answered, pressing his chapped lips to yours quickly before vanishing from the room. With a heavy heart you walked up the stone stairs to where Dean waited impatiently.

"Where's Cas?" He asked, looking behind you.

"Gone." You sighed, letting a tear slip down your cheek. Pulling you into a hug, Dean rested his head on yours.

"What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

"He's protecting the Tablet. So we won't hear from him for a while. But I think we worked things out, for at least now." You answered him, knowing in your heart that your Angel was still the man of your dreams, and he would come for you, as soon as possible.

Following your brother out of the building, you saw Sam and Meg standing off against Crowley. "Dean, we've got to help them!"

"Let's get the Impala!" Dean exclaimed, and the both of you rushed to the Impala. Driving forward, Dean yelled at Sam, who climbed in while Crowley was distracted by Meg. Watching through the back window, you gasped when you saw Meg's meat suit flash orange before falling to the ground. But you weren't exactly saddened by the Demon's demise, after all she had tried to take Cas from you.

"Is everything okay?" Sam asked both you and Dean once you were far enough away from the building.

"I think it will be." You answered truthfully. Your old Cas was back, and even though he wasn't by your side, at least you had the comfort of his promise to look forward to.