With gravel digging through your jeans, into your knees, you continued to kneel as tears poured down your cheeks, landing in the dust covered rocks. Your back ached from leaned forward for so long, but that didn't matter. None of the pain you felt right now mattered.

Your lungs still ached for breath, your breath caught on a sob. It was torture, and you didn't care. All that mattered was the scene that still haunted your vision, and the heartache that went with it.

Things had been going so smoothly at the beginning. Happiness had been at an all-time high. Sam and Dean were smiling and laughing, joking with each other, and you. Dean had been handsy, to the point you had taken a quick detour around the alley to relieve some of that need.

But as quickly as the tides turn, so did your luck. What was going to be the crowning achievement in your long history of hunting turned into something much more than that. Something worse, that would bring you nightmares for the rest of your life.

Shuddering, you could still recall the sense of trepidation as you walked through the caves, your footsteps soft in the sand. Sam was in front of you, his flashlight lighting the way as Dean took up the end. It was a Wendigo, the same one that had taken your parents from you so long ago. It had finally been tracked to this forest, these series of caves, and Sam and Dean had both promised you the revenge you so thought you needed.

With your flare torch in your hand, ready in a moment to burn the son of a bitch who had taken your life from you, you kept your eyes open for any sign of him. "Y/N, stay behind me." Sam warned you, his own homemade flame thrower in his hand.

"Sam..." You started to argue, but you felt Dean's hand on your waist.

"Y/N, you've never hunted something like this before. Let Sam take the lead. You'll be there for the kill, that's what should matter. That the thing dies." Dean whispered.

Rounding a corner, you frowned even though they couldn't see it. You wanted the kill for yourself. Needed it like you needed air. This Monster had taken your family from you, and you wanted to be the one to kill it. Sam and Dean should be able to understand that.

As Sam continued to walk, you glanced to your side, seeing the shadows of people hanging in the far reaches of the cave. With both Sam and Dean whispering to each other, you made the hasty decision to continue by yourself. With your hand on the side of the cave for support, your other hand still holding on to the flare gun, you headed straight for the victims. Hoping to save at least one, you checked each one for signs of life.

"Y/N!" Dean yelled, both brothers racing towards you. In your haste to help the people, you hadn't noticed the other entrance into the cave, or the huge, lurking figure of the Wendigo as it stalked you.

"Dean, get Y/N!" Sam yelled, fumbling with his flame thrower as the monster moved as if it was coming to you. Before Dean could reach you, you saw the Monster turn his attention from you, to the man who was threatening his very existence. With an inhuman growl, it's claws sliced through Sam's layers of clothing as if they were butter. Hearing him scream out in pain, you were frozen in your spot, watching as he fell to the ground.

"Damn it Y/N, use your flare gun!" Dean yelled, but you didn't move, as memories of the last time you were with a Wendigo flashed through your head. Snatching Sam's flame thrower from the ground, Dean quickly turned it on the Wendigo, it's horrifying screams echoing through the caves.

As soon as it fell to the ground, Dean was kneeling next to his brother, his eyes frantic as he saw the blood soaking his brother's shirt. "Hold on Sammy, it will be okay." He assured his brother, but you could see a different story in his eyes.

Snapping out of your horrified state, you raced forward, ready to help Dean save his brother. But as you moved to help him, his eyes turned towards yours, full of pain and anger. "Don't you think you've done enough?"

Rearing back at his words, you tried again, knowing that he was just scared. "Dean, please. Let me help."

As you reached again, he pushed you away, his words dripping with fear and hatred. "No! It should be you down here, not Sam! This is all your fault, and you're just going to make things worse!"

With a sob, you did the only thing you could think of. Racing out of the caves, you ran. As fast as you could, not paying any attention to where you were going. Farther and farther away from the caves, away from the look of utter hatred Dean had sent your way. With tears clouding your vision, your clothes were ripped, your skin bleeding from the trees and bushes you ran in to.

It wasn't until you came to the middle of the road, that your legs gave out and you fell to the gravel. Huge sobs wracked your body, and you couldn't catch your breath. Everything had gone wrong, and you couldn't stop seeing the look Dean had sent your way. Hearing those words repeatedly, knowing you were the reason his brother might be dead by now.

"It's not fun, is it?" A deep, accented voice said from in front of you. So lost in your own thoughts, you didn't even look up, even when the person knelt in front of you. "Knowing you are the reason the person you love is hurting? Knowing that because of you a close friend is dead? Because yes, Sam is dead, and Dean is sitting there next to him, cursing the moment he ever met you. You must feel horrible right now."

Sniffling, you glanced up at the man kneeling in front of you. He was dressed in a dark suit, his eyes dark in the moonlight. "Sam's dead?" You asked, not even noticing the fact that this strange man knew all about your friend and boyfriend, and how weird that should be.

"Yes. The Wendigo's claws cut deep, and he didn't have a chance. All because you couldn't follow their simple directions." The man chastised, and you hung your head in shame. You had been so intent in revenge that you hadn't realized the consequences.

"I just wish I could fix things." You whispered, and the man reached forward, gently grasping your chin.

"You can." He answered, surprising you. "Haven't you heard of crossroad deals?"

Shaking your head no, you glanced around you, realizing you had stopped exactly in the middle of a crossroads. "You work with the Winchesters, and you know nothing about Demons, and crossroad deals?"

"I haven't been hunting very long." You answered him.

"Darling, you're in luck. I'm Crowley, the King of the crossroads, and I can give you whatever you want." He literally purred.

"Why? You don't know me, I haven't done any rituals." You argued, tears still slipping down your cheeks.

Reaching up with the pad of his thumb, he brushed the tears away, the movement surprisingly kind for the man who called himself a Demon.

"I feel drawn to you. There's something about you that makes me want to help you." He admitted. "Please, let me help you."

"What would you do?" you asked warily.

Sighing, he rubbed your cheek. "I would save Sam, make him live again."

"Then do it. Please." You pleaded with him, not caring about the consequences.

"There's just one tiny thing." He continued, his dark eyes searching yours. "A crossroads deal never comes free."

"I just need this heartache to be over. It hurts so much." You pleaded again.

"Usually a deal is for a soul, which I would collect in ten years. But for you, I want something different." He hinted at.

"Anything. I just need Sam alive, and Dean happy once again." You insisted.

"I think you and I could get on very well. I want you to come with me. A life away from the hatred of Dean, who will never get over the fact your mistake hurt his brother. I will give you everything you ever wanted. You will be treated as a queen." He told you, and you reeled back in shock. Never had you expected this to be the price. But then, you saw the hatred and anger in Dean's eyes, heard the venom in his voice, and you knew that even if Sam was saved, he wouldn't want you as a part of his life anymore. With your family gone, and Sam and Dean gone, you had nothing to look forward to.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded. Hoping that this decision would make Dean happy. With a smile on his face, Crowley leaned forward, gently pressing his lips to yours. Grasping your hand, he vanished from the spot, taking you away from the only life you had ever known. Leaving your heart with Dean, who sat in the cave. Little did you know he was regretting the way he had spoken to you, and couldn't wait to help his brother out of the cave so he could find you and apologize. His brother whose wounds had been superficial, and not life threatening at all.