April 14

Dearest Michelle,

First of all, I want to say sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I'm sorry for not answering your letters. There are a lot of things that are running through my mind after our break up. I didn't know if I made the right decision. I didn't know if I really should have let you go.

You've been a special part of my life. Nothing or no one could change that fact. The first time we met, I knew that you'd be special. You made my heart skip a beat. You make my knees weak. Yeah. That may sound so gay but that's the truth. No one made me feel that way. No one except you.

I know I made a lot of promises and I never got the chance to fulfill all of those. Stupid me. I broke your heart. I never should have done those promises if I knew we'd end up this way. 

Would you believe me if I told you that letting you go was the biggest mistake that I did in my life? I don't know but my heart tells me so. It hurts so much that sometimes, I can't stand the fact that you even left the country just to move on. Sorry for being a jerk. I never should have done things that could hurt you.

Ever since you told me that you'd go back to singing, I went to your restaurant every night. I bring different girls just to hurt you more so that you'd realize that I'm not worthy of the love that you've been giving me. I even went to your despedida party. I brought another girl again and every time that you would look at our direction, I would kiss her so that you'd be more turned off. 

But guess what? I realized that I shouldn't have done those stupid things. The more I do those things, the more you move on. The more I lose you. 

Sorry for confusing you right now. I know you'd say yes to Brad tomorrow but I think I have to say this. I was pushing you away because I think I'm dying. Remember when I went to the hospital one time? I told you I'll be visiting my friend who's a doctor. I lied. I really had to undergo a series of tests. After which, they confirmed that I have leukemia.

Michelle, it's not true that I left you because I found someone new. How I wish I could stay with you forever but as they say, forever's just a word. There would come a time when we have to say goodbye. I guess mine is getting sooner and sooner by the moment.

Everytime you indicate the word friend on your letters, it crushes my heart. I wanted to have you until the day that I die. But I guess that's not possible anymore. You found your new source of happiness. I found none.

I never looked for someone new. I know my heart would beat for only one person and that's you. Please forgive me for all the heartaches that I've brought into your life. I didn't want to do it but I had to. I don't want to hurt you more when my time comes.

Michelle, I loved you and I love you still. I'll continue loving you up to my last breath. Please remember that.

Sorry but I can't come to your party. It will just break my heart. But expect Desiree to be there.

Please don't throw all of our memories away. Keep them in your heart. I'll be doing the same.

Maybe we're not meant to be in this lifetime but I'm hoping that in the next one, it would be you and me until the very end. I'm hoping that we would really find our own forever there. How I wish that time would come sooner.

Congratulations for your accomplishments. Congratulations for finally moving on. I wish you all the best. Take care of yourself. But rest assured, I'll be guiding you all the way.

I love you sweetheart.

Loving you with all of my heart,
Drew     

***

There are some things that are better left unsaid. But there are some things that we need to tell the people that are close to our hearts so that they'll know when to hang on and when to let go.

Love may keep a lot of people alive and happy but it's the trust that serves as strength of all sorts of relationships. A love without trust is useless and worthless.

What happened between Drew and Michelle may not be true but there are couples out there who might be experiencing this kind of scenario. No one except God knows when our time will be. Give yourselves a chance to love and to be hurt. It's a part of life that we can't escape.

"God is the only one who can do everything. We humans do what we're capable of." – 200 Pounds Beauty