AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just a reminder, this is present day. Jake has had Emma. Jules is gone (though Katie doesn't know that yet). Katie lives with her dad and is dating Derek.

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You said you'd keep me honest

But I won't call you on it

I don't blame you for being you

But you can't blame me for hating it

—Fall Out Boy, A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me"

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KATIE

FEBRUARY

There are things in life that every person wishes for. Things they want. Things they believe should happen, or are supposed to happen. Having Jake Roswell kiss me in the middle of the hallway, after third period was not something that should have happened. I don't even think it was supposed to happen. But I can't say that I didn't want it. Because I did. And I was never really the same after his lips touched mine.

"So, dinner after practice?" Derek asked me as we were leaning against the lockers.

"Like, you're gonna put on nice clothes and shower?" I asked as I played with his fingers

"I'll even comb my hair," he said and I raised my eyebrows just to tease him.

"Oh, I can't resist a guy who combs their hair." I laughed

"You can't resist me. Period." Derek tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear. "I'll pick you up at 7."

"No, you won't," Calum said as he strolled by. "I'm picking Ava up at 7. Hi, Katie." He said as he kept walking, not leaving anything open to discussion.

"Hi, Calum!" I called out after him.

"Fine," Derek held his hands up. "I'll see you at 7:01," Derek rolled his eyes.

I grabbed the bottom of Derek's sweatshirt. "Why don't you make it 7:02, give them an extra minute to make out."

"Oh boy, a whole minute." He let me tug him closer. I stood up on my tippy toes and placed a soft, kiss on Derek's lips. And then another kiss on his nose. He had a goofy smile on his face after I pulled away. "Okay, 7:02 it is."

"Bye, Derek," I said before walking off to English class, readjusting my tote bag.

Jake came around the corner and froze when he saw me. He just kinda stared. And then he marched forward, right up to me, took my face in his hands and kissed me. It was long and sweet, yet fleeting and quick. Like a sunset. How it seems to set ever so slowly, then at the last second, slips behind the cover of the horizon until the next day. And it leaves behind a glow of purples and oranges and pinks that soon fade to just a murky, hazy purple—a reminder of the joy that you just experienced.

In one hand, I was holding my phone, mid-text to Ava. And my other hand was wrapped around the handles of my tote bag, which hung precariously off of my shoulder. Every other part of my body seemed to freeze as he kissed me, except my lips, because I sure as hell kissed him back. Eyes closed. Lips parted. Us kissing.

I thought about the first time Jake had kissed me, in the bathroom at Blackie's, where he had shoved me up against the wall and that was that. A hungry, sad, wanting kiss. But this kiss, was the exact opposite. It was an 'I'm-sorry-I-have-a-girlfriend-and-she's-pregnant-but-we-fucking-belong-together" kiss.

Jake and I broke away with a gasp. He was probably gasping because he just kissed his best friend's girlfriend. I, on the other hand, was gasping for air, trying to remember how to breathe, which always seemed to happen when I was in the presence of Jake Roswell.

"I needed to do that," Jake said between ragged breaths. "I just needed to do that." He repeated before rushing off.

△

Wordlessly, I sat down next to Isabel and stared straight ahead at the blackboard for the entire period. I wrote down random words that Mr. Pin said, sentences that looked like they would be useful later on in the semester.

The bell rang an hour later and as Isabel was standing up to leave, the words fell out of my mouth. "Jake Roswell just kissed me." I said, touching my lips, still numb from the whole experience. "In the middle of the hallway." I continued, staring strait at the blackboard.

"W-what?" Isabel turned towards me. And then I remembered that she and I were no longer friends. Why were we no longer friends?

"I'm sorry, I ditched you to be cool and popular. That was stupid and I messed up." I said, the apology falling out of my mouth. "You've been my best friend since day one and I don't like not being best friends." The words kept spilling out, like an overflowing bathtub.

"Shut up. You can apologize to me later. Tell me about Jake." She said hurriedly, turning towards me.

"I was walking to English and he just walked up and kissed me." I said, because that's all there was to say.

"How do you feel?" she asked me.

"I don't know." I shook my head. "He kissed me." I repeated.

"That fucking son of a bitch." Ava stormed up to us. I was gathering my things as quickly as I could. She whipped around to face me and angrily flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I can't believe he kissed you." She was glaring.

"He kissed me." I nodded.

"Why the hell would he do that?" Ava looked at Isabel and me.

"He just said he needed to do it." I shrugged.

"Doesn't he know you're dating Derek?" Ava asked, like it was the only obvious, sensible question to ask at a time like this.

"Regardless of that, he's having a kid." Isabel jumped in.

"Did he just forget about that as well?" Ava ground her teeth together as we walked out of the classroom. "I am gonna kill him." Ava was typing spastically on her phone. "This conversation is not over, but I have class. I'll see you after school." Ava touched my arm, frowning slightly before marching off down the hall to God knows where.

"So, uhh, do you want to get lunch?" I asked Isabel.

"Okay." Her voice wavered a bit, but she still managed to nod her head.

"So tell me everything about the kiss." Isabel said once we sat down.

I looked around, making sure no one could hear me, but then I remembered that no one populated the space where Isabel and I used to sit. "It was amazing," I sighed. "Like, a sunset."

"I've always wanted a sunset kiss." She frowned. "Omg are you gonna break up with Derek?" she asked.

"No! I would never do that. Just because his best friend kissed me?"

"But you like his best friend..." Isabel trailed off. "Are you forgetting that, or something?"

"He's gonna have a kid and he has a girlfriend." I took a bit out of my apple.

"Those two minor details of Jake Roswell's life can't be that important to him if he kissed you." She laughed.

"Clearly..." I chewed my apple angrily. "I just wanna know why he kissed me!" I slammed it down on the table, bits of apple haphazardly flying everywhere.

"Because he likes you!" Isabel rolled her eyes. "Are you blind, Katie?" She asked me. And I wasn't so sure who we were talking about anymore.

It was just like old times. Isabel and I had managed to mesh seamlessly back together, and I had to admit, I missed it. "I was a jerk," I said. "To you," I clarified. I took a deep breath and set my apple aside. "Actually, jerk doesn't even begin to describe how I treated you. "You were my friend and I just ditched you." I shrugged. "That was wrong."

"Katie—" Isabel opened her mouth to reply, but I wasn't finished yet.

"The other week in English class, when we were talking about Julius Caesar, I was the guy that stabbed you in the back, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I ever left you. Things just got really crazy in my life. I left my mom and moved in with Ava and it was kinda weird adjusting to..." I trailed off searching for the right word.

"Normal." Isabel added, quietly.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Suddenly, I had heat, and a door that was locked at night, and family dinners, and two parents, and a sister. And Finn... And birthdays and holidays were celebrated and it was nice." I wiped a tear away that I didn't think would fall. "Dammit my mascara,"

"Katie, you don't have to explain. I get it." Isabel said as she put her hand on top of mine. "Kinda," she added with half of a smile. "You were going through hell and I'm sorry I gave you shit about it. I should have been there for you." She said.

"No, I'm supposed to be the one apologizing. I was the one who missed so many Vampire Diaries dates." I sniffled.

"Yeah, well I was the one who let you." Isabel gave me hand a squeeze.

"It's been a really lonely year without you, Is." I squeezed her hand back.

"You don't even know." She laughed.

"Friends?"

"Nothing but."

△

Ava and I walked over to the ice to watch the rest of the boys' practice. We had been in the library for the past two hours doing homework.

"Where are you and Calum going for dinner?" I asked Ava.

"He said he was taking me to some restaurant a few towns over. I think we're getting Thai food, but I could be totally wrong." She shrugged. "What about you? Where are you and Derek going?"

"He wouldn't tell me. He just said that he'd pick me up at 7:02." I laughed.

"7:02?" Ava looked at me as we opened the doors to the ice rink.

"Ask your boyfriend."

"Derek hasn't said anything yet," I said to Ava.

"About the kiss?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"I'm sure he's just waiting for the right time to bring it up. Maybe he'll bring it up at dinner." Ava linked her arm through mine.

"Maybe..."

Ava and I stood a ways down from the team benches, at the part where the glass started to curve. The team was doing some passing/shooting drill. My eyes instantly found Derek and couldn't help but scan for Jake as well.

"God, I don't think I'll ever get over seeing him in his hockey stuff." Ava groaned. "So. Damn. Hot."

"You're preaching to the choir." I bit my lip.

I tried to focus on Derek, but somehow, my eyes kept going back to Jake. When he skated, he looked so graceful that he made birds look bad. It was like he was meant to be on the ice. Jake got the puck from Calum and easily chipped it into the net. He stuck his arm out towards Calum before the two of them skated to the back of the line. My dad blew the whistle.

"Wow, he's calling practice early." I said.

"No he's not." Ava frowned, watching as the boys lined up, even with the goal.

Coach blew his whistle again and the boys took off, racing down the ice.

"Breakfast Club sprints?" I asked, my eyes trained on Derek this time, who was ahead of everyone else with Calum close behind him.

"Breakfast Club sprints." Ava sighed and we watched in silence for the rest of the time. I could just tell they were all going through hell. I scrunched up my nose as some guy puked.

All of the guys finished a few minutes later, resting their hands on their knees, leaning on each other, or holding onto the glass for support.

"Again!" Coach yelled and all of the guys lined up for another round of hell, most of whom looked like they were two breaths and three steps away from collapsing. Dad blew his whistle and they skated off.

"He's never made them run back-to-back Breakfast Clubs before." Ava said.

"Playoffs?" I guessed.

"Not even then." She shook her head.

"Maybe he's trying something new..." I said, unsure of my own words.

Ten minutes later, the guys had remembered how to breathe again and had circled up at centre ice. They cheered and then broke apart. I saw my dad grab one of the guy's jerseys and pull him back, pointing towards the goal closest to us. Derek walked by me with the rest of the team, towards the locker room.

"Hi, babe." He bent down and kissed my cheek.

"Hi, sweaty." His jersey was cold from the ice but he radiated heat. "Go shower." I nudged him.

"Be back in ten," Derek said before hobbling away.

I turned back to the rink, to the one person coach didn't let go, doing full ice sprints for a solid three minutes.

"Aves..."

"You think it's because he kissed you?" Ava asked me as we watched Jake go from one goal to the other, countless times.

"No, why would it be because of that?" I asked.

"Because Mike is insane like that. One time he found out that Nate Simmons tried to kiss me at a party and nearly beat the living shit out of him."

I grabbed Ava's arm. "I think he's about to do the same thing to Jake." I said as we both watched the scene unfold.

No sooner than Jake had taken his helmet off, Coach smacked it out of his hand. It hit the ice with a loud, hollow clanking sound and rolled a few feet away. I watched as my Dad shoved Jake backwards before taking a fistful of his jersey and yanking Jake closer to him. Dad said a few choice words to Jake, who was holding his hands up and shaking his had, and then it happened. All at once, yet slow at honey. My dad punched Jake Roswell. Square in the jaw. Like, actually, punched him. Jake brought his hand up to his face, trying to rub away the pain, something Ava and I always did with Finn when he banged his knee or elbow. Then there was some shouting and finger pointing from my dad and then some shouting from Jake. Ava and I were speechless, mesmerized even. At some point, I think Derek and Calum showed up, with Derek tending to his best friend and Calum to take us home.

△

"Are you gonna say something to him?" Ava asked as we were sitting on the couch.

I nodded, just as headlights shown through the living room window.

"I'll be upstairs with Finn." Ava got up, left me with the remote and hurried upstairs. Thank God, Nora was on a working late tonight because I didn't want her to hear the words that were about to come out of my mouth.

The door opened and closed quietly.

"Hey, kiddo," Dad said to me as he hung his coat up and tossed his keys onto the counter.

"Hi."

"How was school today?" he grabbed a beer from the fridge before taking a seat on the coffee table, across from me.

"Fine." I said, trying not to glare too much, so instead, I looked down at my hands.

"It doesn't sound like it was fine." Dad took a drink of his beer.

"Why did you do it?" I asked quietly.

"Do what, honey?" he asked, his voice softening.

"Why did you punch Jake?" I looked up from my hands, staring him directly in the eye.

"Honey, I think you know why," he took another sip.

"Because he kissed me?" I guessed. "You punched him because he kissed me?" I shook my head a little bit. "Are you insane?"

"No, Katie, I didn't punch him because he kissed you." Dad tried to explain.

"Then why? Because Derek kisses me all the time, so logically speaking, he should be dead right now." I couldn't help but raise my voice.

"I punched him because you have a boyfriend. He needs to know that he can't just walk around kissing other people's girlfriends." He laughed, like this was a laughing matter. "He can't just forget about the girlfriend he actually has."

"Since when do you take so much time to learn about other people's social lives?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Everyone knows Jake Roswell has a girlfriend, kiddo. He's about to have a kid for God's sake." Dad readjusted himself on the coffee table, like he was settling in for a long talk, which he was. "And you're my daughter, so I know you have a boyfriend." He explained himself.

"You are such a hypocrite, you know?" I stood up from the couch, walking a few feet away. "You don't get to judge who's right and who's wrong, here!" I threw my arms up.

"I can't have his mind elsewhere right now. Playoffs are about to start and I can't have him thinking about other things. He needs to be focused on hockey." The Coach side of Dad made a cameo appearance.

"He's about to have kid." I rolled my eyes. "I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure he's not gonna be 100% focused on hockey." Dad opened his mouth to respond but never got the chance. "You did the same thing a while back, in case you forgot," I said. "Cheated." I added, in case he thought we were talking about hockey, which we weren't.

"Honey, that was different." He put one his hands out towards me.

"How is you cheating on Mom any different than Jake cheating on his girlfriend? And don't you dare say it's because you were older so you knew better, because you didn't know any better! No one was there to punch you!" I crossed my arms, waiting for his clever response.

"I don't want him to make the same mistake as I did." Dad told me, but I didn't believe him.

"Maybe if you had saved that line for the end of this conversation, I would have believed you." I shook my head.

"I don't want Jake to ruin what he has right now. With Jules. With his kid. With hockey."

"Did you ever think that maybe he wants to ruin it? That he doesn't want what he has right now with Jules?" I asked.

"Why are you sticking up for this kid so much, Katie?" Dad asked me, ignoring my question completely.

"You're not the one who gets to ask questions here, Dad." His name tasted like venom.

"I don't want him to turn into me." He stated plain and simple.

"He would never turn into you! Mom let you turn into...into... into this!" I gestured at him with my hands. "I would never let Jake turn into you. I would never let him walk away from Jules, or his kid! Not like Nora did."

"Hey, Nora didn't know that I was married when we first started dating." He compared me to her.

"Oh, gee, that's great! What'd you do? Tell her on the honeymoon?"

"She didn't know." Dad shook his head, cradling his beer.

"That's even worse," I whispered as a tear slipped down my cheek for the second time today.

"Don't bring her into this, Katie." Dad pointed a finger at me.

"You already brought her into this! The moment you kissed her!" I put my hands on my head, taking deep breaths.

"She's a good person. She agreed to take you in, remember?" he was talking to me softly now, like he would whenever he spoke to Finn.

"No, Dad. She's a decent person." I sighed. "Any person with a soul would have done what Nora did."

"Katie—" he paused as the doorbell rung, both of us looking over at the same time.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Thank God, Derek's early.

I turned my back on Dad and walked over to the door. "People cheat all the time, Dad." I wiped away another tear before looking back at him. "It's what they do afterwards that counts." I opened the door and walked out.

"7:02 didn't work for you?" I couldn't help but smile.

"I was thinking 6:34 worked better." He slung his arm across my shoulders as we walked to the car.