Chapter Twenty-Two
As Scarlett sat in silence with her brother in Grace's drawing room awaiting their tea, she recalled the Captain's heated departure. She needed to make amends and fearful he had already left for his ship, she jumped up and ran outside after him.
The night air was damp and cold as she stepped out onto the street. It was nearly pitch dark underneath the blanket of clouds, the only source of light emanating from a flickering lantern hanging above. Scarlett peered into the shadows and down the alley for any signs of the Captain or Mister Collins.
"I'm here," came a voice from the side of the house.
Scarlett followed that familiar accent and approached the Captain, who stood hidden in a nearby doorway. She breathed a sigh of relief that he was still there, waiting as if knowing she would come to find him. Immediately, he took her hands in his and placed a warm kiss on her fingers before slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest, melting into the strong grasp of his embrace. Their moments of solitude together had been few and far in between and she relished what little she could have. But then he pulled away and she peered up at him, the sadness on his face clearly visible despite the darkness around them.
"Well, I suppose this is it," he said.
Scarlett paused, resting her hands on his shoulders as she tried to comprehend his meaning. She had feared those dreaded words and now that he had uttered them, it was as if her heart refused to hear it. A flood of thoughts came rushing forward to create some response but a lump caught in her throat and she couldn't speak.
"I sent Mister Collins back to my ship," he continued. "Figured his service was no longer needed here. I suppose the same goes for mine as well."
"No," she said. "Don't say such things. It doesn't have to be like this."
He shook his head in disagreement. "I should leave."
"But why?"
Scarlett cast her gaze down, almost ashamed for asking such an obvious question. She knew why. She thought of her sister back inside her home and the bitterness that flew between her and the Captain. Scarlett recognized that bitterness. She had felt it herself many times, too. Her arguments with the Captain still lingered upsettingly in the back of her mind. Yet, the aching of her heart was so much stronger.
He propped her chin up with a finger and looked into her teary eyes. "I kept my deal, didn't I?" he said. "I promised you I would take you to your sister and get you here safely. Well, now here we are. We made it. You can't be mad at me, now, can you?"
"No, I'm not mad at you. Not this time." She cracked a slight smile, receiving one in return but it only grieved her further. "I just don't want to see you leave me again."
"I know, love. But I must. Seeing Grace again reminds me of everything I had and what I lost. It's too late to correct all that. These are the scars I must live with. And I'm not welcomed in her home, you know that."
"But what about everything you have with me? Does none of that matter?"
"It does, Scarlett, but you are her sister. If there is any way of reuniting your family, it wouldn't be with me around. You see, it just wouldn't work."
"We can find a way to make it work, Alex. Just because she's my sister, it doesn't mean we can't be together. You wouldn't have to see her if you didn't want to."
"Scarlett, listen to yourself. You came all this way to find your sister and you almost talk as if you are ready to leave already. You've come too far to throw it all away for a scoundrel like me. You are in good hands here. Now, go back in there, be with your brother and sister and get your family back together again. You don't need me around."
"But I do need you, Alex. You don't know how much I need you. I want to be with you--wherever you go, I want to follow. I can't bear the thought of losing you to the West Indies. I may never see you again if you leave."
He smiled sadly. "Now you tell me. My dear Scarlett, I would love to whisk you away at the slightest wish upon your lips. Do you know how hard it is for me not to do so? But that is your life in there--with your family in a warm home by the fire--not here with me, freezing yourself in the cold and on the sea. A pirate's life is a hard one and you deserve that of a lady."
She shook her head dismissively and sighed. "Where are you going? What will you do?"
He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "Just what I told you, I suppose--set sail for the West Indies and see what opportunities come my way. Other than that, I have no plans. But there are no prospects for me in this country anymore. And now with Bastian and Blackbeard on my heels, it is best for my crew and I to leave. Besides, it would be the best thing for you, also. Staying with me in this land is dangerous now. Bastian knows you're with me. That's why I asked you to come with me but I see now it is selfish. They'll never find you if you stay here with your sister, anyway, and this is where you belong."
For once, Scarlett didn't have a response. She hadn't thought about it but he was right. Being with the Captain aboard his ship was like being on a moving target, just like her brother had stated in the beginning. The troubles they had experienced along their journey only proved that. She gazed over at her sister's door, a warm glow emanating from the small paned window. It was one of many homes along the street that all looked the same. If they kept to their humble means of living and laid low, Bastian wouldn't be able to find them.
"I know it's difficult," the Captain continued, "but please, don't be upset. I don't want my last memory of you to be sadness on your beautiful face. You are young and have so much life to live." He wiped her tear-stained cheeks with his finger and cupped her face in his hands.
"I'm sorry," she said with a sniffle. She blinked away the tears that blurred her vision and straightened her posture. "You are right, I suppose--as ever. I wish you all the best in your journey, Alexander."
"And I wish you the same. Perhaps, though, you may give me just one last gift, love."
"What is that?"
"The pleasure of kissing you goodbye."
Then, without waiting for a response, he leaned forward and placed his lips on hers. Scarlett wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair, molding passionately into his hot caress. It was easy for them to lose themselves in the moment, their hunger for each other unsatisfied for too long. But the moment was brief and the Captain forced himself to pull away. He released his grip from around her waist and with one final yearning gaze, slipped off into the night and vanished.
Scarlett reached out longingly for the Captain but it was too late. He was determined and then he was gone, even before the warmth from his kisses could disappear from her lips. A blustery wind swept up around Scarlett's feet and she held herself in her arms. She was chilled straight through her skirts and yet, she couldn't move to go back inside. How quickly did the moment change, Scarlett mused as fresh tears brimmed in her eyes. What was once a passionate, safe embrace was now left a cold and dark solitude.
Scarlett stepped out onto the street, waiting for any sounds of footsteps signaling his change of heart. But he was nowhere to be found. Defeated, she brushed her stained cheeks dry and climbed the steps back to Grace's home.
Opening the door, Scarlett was greeted by a roaring fire in the hearth. William knelt down before it and stoked it until the flames grew high and strong. The room was already warming up but it did little to comfort Scarlett as she approached the drawing room.
William stood up when he heard her enter and quickly perceived what had happened by the quiet, downward gaze of his sister. "He's gone, isn't he?" he said.
She only nodded in reply, taking her previous seat by the fire.
Grace entered the room again, carrying a tray of tea and small, plain sandwiches. As Scarlett watched her pour the tea, she focused her attention on the unusual situation of her sister. Her kettle and tea cups appeared to be like fine china but telling by the humble supply of food and the small dwelling they were in, she seemed to be of frugal means. Grace's dress also appeared fine and well-kempt, the lace decorating the blue satin as elegantly as the coat Scarlett had been given by the Captain. However she came into possession of it, it couldn't have been inexpensive, even for an employed seamstress. Scarlett gazed upon her face as well and noticed she looked aged beyond her years.
"I will get some clean clothes for you and some hearty food," Grace said, handing two cups of tea to her siblings. "Please take some tea. You need to warm up. I'm afraid a few sandwiches are all I have to offer at the moment but we'll go to the market tomorrow and have a nice supper together." She smiled genuinely for the first time but her features grew worried as she noticed Scarlett's changed demeanor. Setting her cup down, she added, "Is something the matter?"
"No, everything is fine," Scarlett said, keeping her eyes on her tea cup.
"Where's Alexander?"
"He's gone back to his ship."
"As he should," Grace said, unhesitatingly.
A silent moment fell among them and when realizing the error of her words, Grace changed her countenance to a cheery one.
"I still find myself asking if this is really true when I look at you two before me. William, you were just a baby. Oh, how time flies. Now you're a fine, young man--and so tall. Nearly ready to sweep a lovely maiden off her feet, I suppose. And to find out I have a sister. I always wanted one. It's a pity we couldn't have spent more time together."
"I hope perhaps that can change now," Scarlett said. "We have a younger brother, Joseph, at home, too. He's ten years old now."
"Oh my, is he? I suppose I should ask how Father and Mother are also."
"They are fine. Father is getting older but the bakery is doing well."
"Father has entrusted me with most of the duties now," William said. "He's promised the business to me someday."
"I'm sure you will make them proud," Grace said. "And how is Mother?"
"As busy as ever," Scarlett said. "I help her around the house with the cooking and cleaning, the gardening."
Grace smiled sadly. "It sounds just like when I used to live at home," she said. "But those days have long passed and this is my home now."
Scarlett's curiosity was piqued again. "What do you do here--for a living, I mean? Why did you choose to stay?"
"What can a girl do when she is abandoned? She certainly can't travel the seas like a man."
An uneasy feeling stirred within Scarlett at the conviction of her sister's statement. She had nearly accepted the Captain's offer of traveling the seas with him only a few minutes prior. Telling by her sister's tone, perhaps it wasn't the life for a young woman as herself. Yet, it didn't matter now and she pushed her thoughts away. "So you became a seamstress?"
"I was--for a time. But it's late and I don't want to keep you two up any longer. I insist you get some rest. There is a bedroom in the back. Please make yourselves at home."
William set down his cup. "Thank you, that was refreshing," he said. "I might retire to bed, actually. I'm afraid I haven't been able to sleep very well for a while now."
"He's right," Scarlett added, placing her cup down as well. "I would love to talk all night but I am rather tired."
"Most certainly," Grace said. "There will be plenty of time to visit tomorrow."
They bid their goodnight wishes and Scarlett was ready to follow behind William to leave the room when Grace spoke up. "Oh, but before you leave, Scarlett, I want to speak with you."
"Yes?" Scarlett said, her heartbeat quickening at the serious tone of her sister's voice. She took her seat across from Grace again. The fire had grown dim, casting soft shadows across their faces. The crackling of the coals was all that could be heard while she waited for her sister to speak.
"You love him, don't you?"
Scarlett dreaded such a direct question but she had become well acquainted with addressing her feelings before others. "Yes, I do," she replied.
"Well, you'd best not."
"And why is that?" Scarlett said, defensively.
"My dear sister, though we have only just met, I've realized we are more alike than I thought. It's with that same attitude I got to where I am today. Do you not trust the woman whose life he ruined? Captain Jones is a dangerous man and it follows him wherever he goes."
"I don't pretend to know what you have experienced but you don't know what I have been through, either. I've come to see a gentle man behind that facade."
"That man is a murderer, Scarlett. Do you not realize that? And God knows what other crimes he has committed since..." Grace trailed off, swallowing the lump in her throat. "No woman should have to see the cold body of her future husband lying in an alley."
"He didn't mean to kill him."
"And yet he was capable enough to do so," Grace said. "He's a passionate man but in a bad way. Look at the trouble he has brought upon you. You yourself said he captured you and with the lifestyle he now leads as a pirate, I wouldn't be surprised if he and his crew mistreated you."
Scarlett avoided her sister's piercing, inquisitive gaze.
"I'm right, aren't I?" she continued. "He has a violent temper, Scarlett. While I see your youthful fascination with him, you'd best stay away. I will not watch my sister make the same mistake as I did."
"Well, you won't have to."
Grace paused. "He left, didn't he?--for good?"
"It appears that way," Scarlett said quietly, fighting to hold back tears brimming in her eyes.
"It's just like him. He went back to his ship, running away from everything that troubles his heart. That's the kind of man we are talking about. Scarlett, I wouldn't put yourself through it. A man like that will always be true to his love of the sea. It calls to him more than anything else, especially when the ways of piracy are so bountiful these days. You can't change him."
Scarlett stared into the dying fire, fearing her sister's words were true. "How do you cope with it--losing the man you love?"
"You don't. It's like losing part of your soul. But you pick yourself back up, anyway, because you have no other choice. And, if you're fortunate enough, you'll find other means of getting by, other men who make you forget, if only for a little while."
This caused Scarlett to look up at her sister, who gazed coldly into the fire. It made her feel uneasy to hear such things. What other men? Did she speak of herself? Is this the sad reality that her life had become? Before her was a woman who had lost two lovers and now felt alone in the world. Scarlett didn't want that to happen to herself but she could hardly bear the thought of moving on while knowing the Captain was still out there somewhere. She imagined him rowing out to his ship, climbing aboard and setting sail. Yet, he was right. He had followed through on his promise to her, despite every challenge along the way, and she tried hard to remind herself of that loyalty. It would be selfish to throw it all away now and with that thought, she realized she needed to focus on her family. Though her heart longed for the sea as well, her duty was at home.
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