Ugh ugh I'm so depressed again tonight.

I was in a pretty decent mood throughout the day but everything is kinda breaking down for me tonight. Obviously, I logged back onto wattpad on my phone for an important reason. The reason kinda kills me but at the same time it relieves me.

I got confessed to again, and I don't really understand why. Like, tonight I honestly hate myself so much??? I kinda want to die??? Like I don't think I'd feel bad if I just took a bunch of pills rn??? It's fine though I'm just feeling really sorry for myself I guess.

I had another play practice again today and I've probably opened up more than I ever had. Like, I'm usually so shy that I can't even respond to when people talk to me. I freeze up and become scared and I can't talk. I honestly never talk to anyone besides family and I suck so bad at talking to them. I have no clue about my family.

Like, people ask questions like. What's your mom doing? Did you hear from your brother? When does he come home from the airforce? How's your brother in rehab?

And I have no clue how to answer them cause idk anything about my family at all like no one talks to me.

Idk I just wants to rant. No one reads this and no one cares so it's good to just rant it out here.