Leaving Us

It was November and it was getting closer to your birthday. Ramadi hadn't said anything since the last time I gave him his information. He was planning something and I had a feeling it was because of your birthday. That was the day he was most likey going to attack. Now he was going silent and that didn't settled well with me. I told him that's the day we were waiting for him to make his move.

I was standing by the gate near your balcony. I glanced at your window and I saw the curtains move, allowing the moonlight to enter. The curtains didn't stay open for very long. I looked away and to ease you, I told you to sleep.

You didn't say it but I knew your were worry about your powers. Each day it grew stronger. It was my job to make sure you could control it. So far you had it under control.

It was on my way to pick you for school when Selena informed me about a meeting Reid and I had to attended. James was to fill in for us while we were at the meeting.

I didn't had to go your room. You were outside playing in the snow with Lily, Reid, Lucas, Sophie and Kyle. Just as you were about to dump a handful of snow on Sophie, I stopped you.

"What are you doing?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"Having fun." Lily told me.

"Well stop having fun. Reid, we have a meeting to attend and the princesses are wanted in Selena's office."

Reid nodded his head as he got off the ground. You rose from Sophie's body, dropping the snow.

"James is going to watch you two until Reid and I get back." I informed you.

You frowned. "James can't be in two places."

"You're most likely going to miss half of your first period talking to Selena." I said. "The meeting is only going to be forty minutes. Reid and I will be back before your class ends."

You and Lily headed for Selena's office with James while Reid and I went to the meeting. Vance was in charge of it. Nearly all the guardians were in the room. Vance began the meeting once Reid and I showed up.

"King Abe wanted me to inform you all that next month is the princesses' birthday. But not only that, it's also the month our worst enemy will try to attack. While on guard, keep your eyes and ears opened for anything. Ramadi is sneaky. He can and will try anything that will work in his favor."

Vance went over the drills that would be needed if Ramadi were to attack. Everyone knew what to do and what the risk would be if he managed to get through the gate.

I informed Ramadi about every single way we planned on attacking him if he showed up on your birthday. He was pleased to know what we were going to do and decided not to show up after all.

You got sick a couple of weeks later. We were in the gym when Lily called my name. I walked over to where you two were. I took one look at you and knew you were feeling horrible.

"Go get dressed." I told you.

While you went to change, I called Selena to let know you weren't finishing the second half of school.

"Yes. She's with me right now. I'm taking her back to her room. She's sick. It might be the cold. I'm not wasting my time to see Olivia. She's going to tell me what I already know and Millie needs to rest."

I hung up and told you that Selena was informing your teachers and Olivia about your sickness. You nodded your head and thanked me.

We stepped outside and you shivered. You wrapped your arms around your body.

"I'm going to get the car." I told you, before running to get the SUV.

I drove us to the dorm building. Ms. Davis, I was assuming was her name, glanced up when she noticed our presence.

"Princess Millian what happened this time?"

"She's not feeling too well. Selena sent her here and Olivia is coming to check up on her." I anwsered.

"Well it is that time of the season to get sick. Make it quick." She said before going back to filling out a paper.

After I left your room, I drove over to my dorm building. I didn't have anything to do since you didn't have to go school. It wasn't long until Olivia called to inform me that you had the flu and wouldn't be allowed to go to school until the beginning on next week.

Then Reid called me. He told me that Lily had a vision and she ran out her class. He didn't exactly know what happened but he said she needed to see you. Whatever she saw it had to be important.

I headed back to your room.

"What's wrong?" Reid asked after we walked into your room.

"You have to find Ramadi before it's too late." You said."Tartarus' day is arriving soon."

You knew. You knew Ramadi's plan. You figured it out. Abe didn't want you to know about Tartarus. He didn't want you to be scared but it's too late for that. I looked at Reid and he nodded his head. He picked Lily up and led her out the room. Your eyes never left the floor. Tears filled your eyes. You were scared for the future.

I sat beside you and you spoke.

"This is overwhelming. Ramadi killed my mother and..."

"I know." I told you.

You shook your head. "No. You don't know. You don't know how it feels to be the bridge of destruction and you can't do anything about it."

"You're not the bridge of destruction. You are the hope this planet needs."

"I'm scared."

"I know you are but don't be." I told you. "I made a promise to keep you alive and safe and I'm going to keep that promise."

"You're always so confident."

I grinned. "I have to be or how else would I make you see there's nothing to worry about?"

You gave me a small smile. "Thank you."

You pulled me in for a hug and I hugged you back. "I don't know what I would do without you."

You could live a long happy life without me but me I would die without you. You were my weakness. You were my world. You were my everything.

You pulled away and looked into my eyes. Your eyes darted down to my lips and before I knew it you were kissing me.

I kissed you back and you brought me closer to you. This kiss wasn't soft and gentle no it was rough and hard.

Not long enough, you pulled away. You realized what you had done. You dropped your arms and looked anywhere but at me.

"I'm sorry." You said. "I don't know why I did that."

You do know why. You feel the exact same way I do. Was what I wanted to say. But I didn't. Instead I got up and made my way to the door.

"It's okay." I lied.

You didn't say anything as I walked out the door. I walked away from you, the girl, who held my heart in the palm of your hand.

Reid came over to where I was standing to see if you told me anything else about what you saw but that subject dropped when he noticed my fallen mood. He asked me what happened and instead of keeping it to myself, I told him. He was my best friend, I had to tell him.

"Just tell her." He said. "If you don't say anything soon, she really will lose feelings for you."

He made it sound so easy to express your feelings but it wasn't. Well not to me anyway. Hours past by since you last kissed me and I couldn't get it out my mind.

"I know but I don't know how to say it."

Reid gave me a are-you-kidding-me face. He held up three fingers as he said. "Three words. I love you. It's that simple."

"Maybe for you." I argued.

I wasn't the type of guy who went around saying I love you everyday. Hell, I didn't even remember saying it once in my life. That's just me. I never said it because I never been in love. I didn't plan on falling in love. Especially not with you.

"Okay I get it. You don't like expressing your feelings but for once do it. It might get you somewhere."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Like what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Millie loves music so play a love song for her or something."

"Do you really believe it might work?"

He nodded his head. "Yeah I do. You might not notice it but I see the way she looks at you. She might be happy with Kyle but it isn't the same happy when she was with you."

I looked at Reid. "I hope you're right about this." I said, standing to my feet.

"Where are you going?" He asked when I opened the door.

"To do something I never done before." I told him walking out the door.

I walked to my room and flicked on the lights. I headed to my closet and pulled out a black case. No one knew I had this not even Abe. He knew about the piano because he's the one who gave me the room but the guitar was a secret.

You didn't know it but when you sung I was captivated by you. My eyes couldn't help but to look at you. And it had nothing to do with you being the siren. It's you. All you.

I picked up the guitar and I sighed. I really hoped this would work.

I walked out my room and outside the guardian's building. It's dark outside and there's not a lot of guardians outside yet. This was the only chance I had if I didn't want to get caught.

I quickly made my way to your balcony and took in a deep breath.

Here goes nothing.

I began to the stroke the guitar lightly but loud enough for you could hear it. I saw the French door open and then your head peeked over the ledge.

You frowned. "Hayes? What are you doing?"

"Just listen, please." I begged you.

You didn't say anything because I didn't give you a chance to before I began to sing.

After I finished the last words, I searched your face. I was hoping you would be smiling but you weren't.

"Millie. Please give me another chance. I swear to you, I'm not using you."

You shook you head as tears filled your eyes. You were trying so hard for them not to fall out.

"Don't cry." I told you. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you."

"I-I can't do it Hayes." You whispered. "Not again."

You backed away from the edge of the balcony and disappeared from my view. I waited there for awhile, hoping you would walk back out. But you never did and my heart sunk further down.

I didn't try to hid my hurt expression the next day either. I couldn't and I didn't want to. While you talked to Kyle and Lily, I stood off to the side, staring at this sword.

Reid came to stand by me and I didn't have to say a word to him for him to know it didn't work. He saw it by my face. It wasn't until later that day, when I made my decision to leave.

"Are you sure about this man?" Reid asked me for the hundreth times.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"It'll get better." He promised. "She'll realize she loves you as much as you do. Just wait it out."

I shook my head. "Not here. Not when she's with him."

I couldn't do it. I couldn't watch you be with him while my heart broke. I had to leave and hope for the best.

Reid gave me a sad look. His eyes weren't bright and mischievous as usual but dim and sad for me. He's about to say something but I beat him.

"There's nothing you can say to change my mind, Reid."

"I know." He said. "I was just gonna tell you I'm here for you."

I nodded my head at him before walking out the gym and headed outside the cold to make one life changing phone call. One that would possible make my heart shatter but keep me from going insane from watching you.

He picked up on the second ring.

"Hayden what is it?" Abe's voice is laced with concern as it filled my ear.

I sucked in a breath before I responded. I made an oath years ago to protect you with everything and from all cost and right now I was about to break it.

But maybe this was best for everyone. I could get away and search for Ramadi while trying to forget what I had for you. You moved on and it was time for me to leave us in the past.

Before I left the campus, I had James take my spot until I returned. I went to talk to Abe. He didn't want me to retire from being your guardian but he couldn't stop me. I had some papers to fill out. I was going to go on my own for little bit and then maybe came back to the guardian lifestyle.

I didn't know yet. I stayed at the headquarters for a couple days then I returned back to the school. I picked you up for what was supposed to be my last time. I only came back to say my goodbyes because come tomorrow I was leaving.

The day couldn't had came to end any later. I wanted to wait until we were leaving the school to tell Sophie I wasn't back so she couldn't stop me from changing my mind.

Before I got into the SUV, I pulled her to the side and told her. She cried and I hugged her. I just came back from being away from her not too long ago and now I was leaving again.

Abe informed me that I would always be welcome back if and when I decided to came back. I told him I didn't think I would came back.

Standing outside my room door was Lily. She was waiting for me. I knew she had her questions just like everyone else but instead of telling me to stay, she said the opposite.

"I know about the letter you're gonna write. I don't agree with you because you two are hurting and you need each other. But I'm not gonna try to make you either. If leaving will help you cope with the pain, then carry on."

I didn't say anything. I just nodded my head and walked into my room. I didn't have much time to write what I had to say to you. So I didn't waste time writing it. I said what I had to say and everything was the truth. I would wait for you because you were worth it to me. I know I said I was going to leave us in the past but I couldn't do that.

I snuck into your room and placed the letter on your bed and walked out.

It's way past midnight and my eyes refused to close. My mind was restless and instead of trying to force myself to sleep, I got off my bed and headed to the other side of the headquarters.

So here I was, in the work out room, trying to tire myself out. I headed to one of the punching bag and did a combo on it. Once my fist made contact with it, it never stopped.

I kept punching and kicking the bag as if it was a danger to everyone. Sweat covered every inch of body and my hair clung to my forehead but I didn't stop not until I notice a figure.

At first I thought I was seeing things but when I closed my eyes and opened them again, the figure was still there. I didn't know who it was because not all of the lights were on.

I stopped the bag from swaying side to side as the figure stepped into the light. I frown as you continued to walk towards me.

"Millie? What are you-"

Before I had a chance to finish my sentence your lips crashed into mine. I didn't question it as I snaked my hands into your hair and brought you closer to me. You pushed me back until my back hits the wall and we slid down until we touched the ground. You straddled me and continued to kiss me.

Finally, we broke apart to catch our breath. Your forehead rested on mine. You were breathless. You bit your lower lips as you glanced up at me through your eyelashes.

You slowly shook your head. "I don't want you to leave. Stay with me." You begged.

I swore if you told me to jump off a cliff, I would do it in a heartbeat. I wouldn't care if I hurt myself or worse. You had that much affect on me.

"I will." I promised you. "As long as you want me to."

"I'll always want you here."

That's all you got to say before my lips captured yours again.

"I love you too." You muttered against my lips and I grinned. I'd been waiting for you to say those three words for a long time.

"Go ahead and say it." I told you.

"I have a lot of questions."

"And we have a lot time. So ask away."

I could see you search through your mind trying to find a question you wanted to ask first and I waited patiently on you. Once you found one, you glanced at me.

"In your letter, you said your were scared to be in love." You stated. "Why?"

I had a feeling you would ask me that.

"Because I didn't think I could be able to return those feelings others felt for me. I grew up learning to be strong and detached from my emotions. Especially love. If the Morches had even the slightly clue about my feelings and connections to others, it'll haunt me for the rest of my life."

Your hazel eyes held sadness. I knew you too well to know you felt guilty. You were blaming yourself. I caressed your cheek.

"Don't do that." I said. "Stop blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault I fall in love you with."

You could argue with that even though I knew you would try to find a way to put the blame you. You wouldn't find one.

"Can you explain everything to me? I know you tried to before and I wouldn't let you finish but can you tell me now?"

I nodded my head. "Sure. You know my history with girls aren't the very best."

"Yeah I know. Even before I actually knew you, I had a feeling you were a player."

I ignored the sting in my heart. If I couldn't fall in love, then there wasn't anything stopping me from becoming the player everyone knew about but yet wanted a chance to be with.

"I know Daire didn't make it any better."

You made a face when I mentioned Daire's name and I chuckled. You didn't need eyes to feel the tension between you two everytime you were around each other. It became worse once you and I started "dating".

"Yeah sorry about that. Daire was super clingy. She had this thought she could make me fall head over heels for her but I couldn't. No matter what she did or say I couldn't feel anything for her. I sound like an asshole but that's just how I grew up."

"That would explain why she hated me so much." You said. "She was jealous of what she thought we had."

"I'm sorry for using you. If I could go back in time, I'd change everything. The thing is I wasn't suppose to fall in love with you. I was suppose to make you happy again for Abe's sake. He wanted you to sing again and I couldn't figure out another way to make you happy. When I first saw you at the tattoo parlor, I couldn't help but want you. I desired you."

You didn't look at me as I spoke and I understood why. You were processing what I was saying.

I continued. "Everyday, every single second, you were on my mind. When I was around you, I was glad. I never been so happy to be around someone so much before. You brought the best of me out."

"When did you realize you were falling for me?"

I smiled. "I fell for you the moment I first saw you and that feeling grew when I kissed you for the first time. But I didn't comprehend it until that day you asked me what I felt for you was real or not. That's when I realized you had me total hooked on you."

You grinned. "I had you hooked, huh?" You repeated.

I rolled my eyes, playfully. "Yeah you did and you still do."

You punched me in my chest with your small fist. "You should've told me there was a law forbidding me from being with you. Do you know how much pain I was in. It was hell."

I gathered both of your hands in mine and smirked. "I'm sorry. I should've told you."

"Hell yeah you should've told me. I never seen that side of you before. You were like a stranger to me. A cold, distant stranger."

I knew you were referring to the time in the limo when I told you we were just a fling and nothing more and every little cold moment we shared.

"I thought that if I was jerk to you, those feelings would disappear but it didn't." I explained. "It actually got worse. I couldn't sleep at night because I dreamt of you."

"I knew those feeling couldn't just disappear into thin air." You said. "That's why I kept trying to make you see what kind of love we had but you didn't want to listen to me and I finally couldn't handle being rejected and unloved again."

Tears filled your eyes and I crashed your body into mine and wrapped my arms around you, holding you tightly to my chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, Millie. I'm sorry for putting you through all that pain. I promise I won't ever do that again."

Your tears stained my shirt and I held you tightly. Finally you pulled away.

"I'm sorry too."

I frowned. "For what?"

"For not letting you explain everything to me, not giving you another chance and not running to you after you sang to me."

"It's okay."

You shook your head. "It's not. You were in as much pain as me maybe even more. I had Kyle and even moment we had, we pretty much rubbed it in you face."

"That was just a small amout of prize I had to pay for being a dick to you."

Your face fell. "Kyle. What am I going to tell him?"

"We'll think of something." I assured you. "Don't worry about it."

You grinned at little. Changing the subject you said. "Speaking of singing, I wouldn't mind hearing you angelic voice again."

"I'll sing to you whenever you want."

"I might take you up on that offered."

We talked a little more before it's time for us to leave the gym. I walked you to your room and you took me by surprise when you kissed me like you wasn't going to see me ever again.

"I'm not leaving." I assured you, smiling.

You nodded your head and walked into your room. I stayed outside your room for a few seconds before heading to Abe's office to see if his offer was still available.