He backed himself against the wall, between the empty table that would soon hold food and the drapes, and let's out a sigh of relief. His eyes wandered the room of the frivolous partygoers before locking onto the person who has been appearing in his vision all night.

She wore a cherry red dress that hugged her admittedly impressive physique and flared out just before her ankles. Her dark curls cascaded down her shoulders and stopped just at her shoulder blades. It was simple, yes, but that's what made it so eye-catching especially in the middle of the glitz and glamour of the the other guests.

"So, you're the one that's hurting her." A voice whispers from beside him, making him freeze. He didn't sense anyone move next to him.

"What?" Was his intelligent response.

"You have to tell her your feelings, she may be smart but she's not a mind reader. Do it, before it's too the late." The person advised, a guy judging by his gruff voice.

Before the young man could retaliate, his father beckoned him over.

"This here is my son!" His father said in an uncharacteristically excited and upbeat tone.

'He must be talking to one of his old army buddies.' The boy thought, drowning out the conversation once greetings had been exchanged.

But then the old army buddy of his dad's, Grant, calls someone over. It was her, the girl he had been secretly admiring for most of the night.

"My niece, Kate." Grant announced as if showing off a pet. She didn't seem to mind however as her disbelieving eyes were locked onto his. They copied each other's astonishment.

'Kate? That was kate!" He gulped, now he knew what that guy had been talking about.

"Hello." She greeted politely, voice oddly low and soft, and nodded her head slowly in a show of respect.

'Why is she acting this way?' The Kate he knew was full of energy and radiating with goodwill. Yet the one in front of her was so plastic and artificial, like a doll.
'She certainly looks like a doll...' His mind betrayed/tormented him.

"Let's go! We have much to discuss." Kate's rambunctious uncle declared and dragged his dad away.

"Kate, why don't you show this young man man around. Get to know each other." Her aunt suggested primly, his mother nodding in sly agreement.

Kate didn't protest, didn't tell her aunt that they knew each other already; rather well in fact. She just hummed in acceptance, bobbed her head once again and made her way to the door. His feet just followed.

•~•

Down the dimly lit passage they walked in a tense, awkward silence. The only sound being their shoes on the tiled floor. She opened one of the many doors and ushered him in.

His mind instantly went to darker places.

The room was either a small lounge or a tea/drawing room. There was a stunning stone fireplace with a brass coal stove beside it. An antique seaté in the middle and cabinets and shelves against the wall behind it.

Kate quickly and expertly lit the fire, it was no surprise considering she had to do on camps, which made the cold air dissipate, however, the cold atmosphere remained.

"Tea, coffee, juice," her voice rang out, sounding less constrained now that she didn't have a hundred eyes on her, "alcohol?"

That last one was a surprise.

She stared at him impatiently and expectantly, like a waitress waiting to take his order.

"Coffee?" He mumbled, to be honest he wouldn't have minded a cold beer right about now but he didn't think it would be the best thing to ask for in this situation.

She nodded in compliance and scampered off to make the coffee.

"Sugar? Milk?"

"No and yes." He responded thoughtlessly.

His mind whirled as if it was caught in a twister and it was all about her. What that guy had said, her current demeanor and..uh-hum images. That dress was really not helping.

The clink of a coffee cup knocked him out of his stupor.

"Thank you." He said automatically and she just gestured for him to sit down. It was then that he noticed that she didn't make herself any. He wondered why.

"I'm not allowed any. Guests only." She  replied to his unasked question. Astoundingly observant as always. It was moments like these that made you wonder if she was a mind reader.

"How have you been?" He asked, hoping to break the ice. Taking the first step for once.

"Tired and sore." She admitted. He just nods, now that she'd said that he noticed she did look rather drained. Probably because of all the socialising he gathered, she did say she hated events like these, and those heels would make anyone's feet hurt.

"You?" She seemed genuinely interested. His heart fluttered.

"Good." He clipped. And back go up the walls.

Silence stretched on as she busied herself and he beat himself up, 'You don't want these feelings for her remember! You like someone else. But you're hurting her. And you believe that random guy! I'm sure she's fine, it's not like she's said anything.'

Despite his denial he knew, deep down, that he was hurting her and she just shouldered it all and carried on; not wanting to say anything that would strain their bond even more.
That her words would harm or offend him and then he would hate her and then abandon her. Fear. It causes regrets to form and prevents you from doing what you want or need to do. It destroys many budding relationships. He hadn't come to this conclusion as of yet.

"Am I hurting you?" The words escaped his mouth as barely a whisper, he couldn't take them back but oh how he would wish he could've.

She was so surprised that she dropped  the cup she had been cleaning, it didn't break thankfully. "Pardon." She had heard him, she just couldn't believe it.

"Is what I'm doing hurting you?" He tugged at his hair, a nervous tic, and stared at the floor. He didn't know how to explain it better than that.
He looked up when he heard the cushioned chair across from him squeak. Her eyes lit up as she connected the dots, all of the dots. Ethan, a friend of theirs, was right how had no one scooped her up yet?

"Damn you Caleb." She muttered to herself, he didn't comment on it.

"N-" She stopped herself from completing the simple word, "Yes actually," she says after taking a calming breath, "I know you're not doing it intentionally but...it still hurts."

He didn't know what to do, she looked so vulnerable wrapped around herself. It was a look he had never seen her wearing; a lost and broken child.

"You haven't said anything, you've been ignoring me and I don't know why!" Her voice cracked as tears threatened to leak. "I stress myself out thinking that I've done something wrong, that I'm the problem even though I know I haven't done anything wrong-"

He never knew that he was affecting her this way! He didn't think that...he just didn't think.

"You keep sending me mixed signals. Some days you seemed to be happy to be with me, wanted to be with me. But on other days you avoided me and couldn't bear to talk to me." Her voice was monotonous now, as if she had practiced this speech a hundred times and maybe she had.

"That's what hurts. You've told me that you have feelings for me but that, for reasons you won't say, you don't want them. You say that you 'catch feelings fast but you know that also means that you lose them just as quickly."

Guilt wells up in his chest.

"That's what's eating me. Why don't you want to have feelings for me. Fear of the future? That we won't, can't, get together because of something that might happen. Or is there someone else despite it all?" She sounded so tired as if she knew she was right, which she was. Spot on as always.

"This is all so foolish." She says either to herself or to him he did not know.

Kate waited anxiously for him to respond, tears forced back and face expressionless. She flinches when she catches his eyes, unsure and shocked.
Her mind wanders back to the secretive kisses, long hugs that left her feeling safe and protected and the way they could talk about anything for hours; in person and over text. But then something changed and he holed himself, retreated back into his fortress and his warmth dimmed, towards her at least.

It left her feeling confused and bitter.

He finally opened his mouth something, "I--"
The door slammed open, "Kate, Nathan. Food" That guy stood in the doorway, his wirey muscular casting a threaten shadow over him.
Kate nodded obediently and speed walked towards the door, her dancer like frame teasing him. He on the other hand stood up slowly and ambled out the door and down the hall, his eyes following Kate's swaying figure despite himself.

She was talking cheerfully to that guy, Caleb, as she bounded towards food. An impressive feat in heels. It almost pained him to see how well she got along with that guy, how happy she was to talk to him and how Caleb obviously adored her.

Guilt hit him again. Here he was getting all jealous yet he was the one who had broken off relations with her and hurt her--he couldn't even give her a reason why--and he liked someone else. Didn't he? Yes he did. Really?

It didn't matter, not until he could answer her desperate question,

"Why?"