He never answered my question; he was awake the whole night. He didn't sleep.

It's morning again and he's just finished getting ready for the day, minus his mask, when he comes out of the bathroom and notices that I'm at the edge of the bed, waiting.

"What's wrong?" He asks. I shake my head. "Tell me, Mal." He sighs.

"It's just that, well, about last ni-"

"Are you talking about the question you asked me?" Kylo scratches the back of his head.

"Well, actually-" A loud beeping emits from his mask that sits across the room, and he rushes to it in a hurried manor.

"Could this wait? I have a lot of work to do." He says apologetically, after he's answered the distress call.

"Of course." I relent quietly, the real question I'd been meaning to ask him sitting at the tip of my tongue.

The night before, when I asked if he loved me, was a slip up. I'm truly afraid to ask him my real question. I chickened out at the last second.

"Tell me at 4." He kisses my forehead and slips out of the room, the door shutting quietly behind him. I roll my eyes at my own burning cheeks. Will he ever stop having this effect on me?

I decide to spend my day in bed with some of his books instead of requesting Petra or some other trooper's company.

Hours pass as quickly as minutes or seconds as my eyes flit over the old tales of Jedi's and Sith. My sense of time seems to vanish, only to return at the sound of the door creaking open again.

Kylo is quick to reveal his tired face, leaving his mask and finding comfort beside me, his head on my shoulder.

My stomach stirs and I choose to savor the presence of his curls tickling my cheek and his breath warming my neck.

I keep my eyes in the book, knowing Kylo would prefer only silence and my presence.

I seem to have thought wrong.

Wanting my attention, he begins to kiss the side of my neck. His kisses are soft and warm; I try desperately to hold back a pleasured sigh.

I can't help it.

As soon as it escapes my lips, I cover my mouth, dropping the book. Kylo lets out a laugh, placing his hand on my cheek and turning my head to face him.

He holds my face, his palms on my jaw and his thumbs caressing my cheekbones. He kisses my hairline, then lowers to my forehead. He continues to trail his lips down my face, kissing between my eyebrows, then the tip of my nose.

His lips stop, hovering over mine, and I feel a sudden need for him to close the distance. He notices, teasingly passing on to my chin.

When he's kissed the hollow in my neck, I put my fingers under his chin and guide his lips to my own.

Our lips move together in a slow, gentle harmony, a song only meant for the two of us to ever know.

Our kiss lasts for minutes that feel like hours, our chests pressed together and our fingers tangled in each other's hair. We only break for seconds to gulp in air, closing in once again with utter passion and hunger.

Kylo is the first one to stop.

"You had something you wanted to tell me earlier." He whispers against my lips.

"I-it could wait." I stutter, having not recovered from events only seconds before.

"Tell me now." He pulls back enough to stare into my blue eyes. I sigh. I don't know how to muster the confidence to let the words leave my lips.

"The question I asked last night was, uh- well, a cover up. There's something else I wanted to ask you."

"Go on."

"Were you the one who k-killed my sister?" I muster. His dark eyebrows raise in surprise; to my horror, he doesn't deny a word I say. His eyes travel to his hands.

"You're the reason I lost her. It was you." I push myself away, no longer wanting our limbs tangled; no longer yearning for his touch.

It's as if Seeder's blood is still on his hands.

"Mali, no. You don't understand."

"What don't I understand, Kylo? The message I'm getting is loud and clear." Hiccups interrupt my words and tears blur my vision. I throw his sheets away and leave the bed.

"I can't-"

"You can't what, Kylo? Admit the truth? Admit that you murdered her out of cold blood? I'm sure it's no big deal to you. You murder for the the adrenaline. You murder because you like it." I accuse.

"SHE'S NOT DEAD. SHE'S ON THIS SHIP. I DIDN'T KILL HER." He screams in anger, clutching blankets in his fists.

It's like he'd knocked the wind from my lungs.

"You've been lying to me, this whole time?" I ask quietly. His heavy breaths slow down and he realizes his mistake, his eyes widening into saucers.

"It was the only way you'd stay." He admits, finally.

"W-why would you do that? Why, Ben?" I spit out his true name like poison, and he flinches as if it was.

"B-because you're my only hope. Because I'm in love with you."

-

*screams internally for 7 consecutive minutes*

hoW EXHILARATING

anyway

omf

I really have to go to bed

ok

side note: PLEASE CHECK OUT COVET PLEASE I'VE POSTED THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!!

ok

gosh I can't freaking wait to see you reactions

*sends extra kylo love to help you cope*

ok

ily all

kait