I haven't seen Kylo for 2 months.

I'd since gotten rid of the dull ache of missing him, now replaced by a blank, numb, detached feeling.

I'm trying to tug on a wool sock, my eyebrows scrunched together, when my reflection catches my attention.

I stand up, turning from side to side to get a good look at my growing abdomen.

I might be small, but I never would've expected a bump this size at only 3 months. I stare at the curve and run my hand over it, biting my lip.

I advert my gaze then, realizing that I'm close to losing myself in my thoughts again.

I put on a tank top for the usual humid weather on Takodana, then slip on my boots over my pants. I double braid my hair and slip out of my bedroom, hoping to sneak past Draco's room.

"Zena!" Too late.

I knew I shouldn't have told him my real name was Malzenla, as well as how much I hate it.

He throws his arms over my shoulders, giving me a squeeze. I giggle but quickly wrinkle my nose at his horrible morning breath.

"Let me go!" I shout, wheezing. Draco barks out a laugh, going completely red in the face, and finally loosens his grip.

"Be careful." I scold, rolling my eyes. I slug his shoulder and turn to make my way towards the wonderful smell of breakfast.

When I walk into the kitchen, I'm met by two extremes; Ava greets me with a cheery grin and Seeder glowers at her plate, her shoulders hunched over, barely muttering a hello.

Draco appears behind me and claps me on the shoulder. My face contorts at the sting and I slap his hand away.

"I'll take something quick. I'm going to the Castle today." I announce, feeling proud of myself for making the decision to finally leave the house since I'd gotten here.

I'd realized I can't spend my whole life moping and wasting away, missing Kylo.

That won't help anything.

I have to be productive; I need to find my way back to him.

Naturally, I decided to venture out into the woods and find my way to the bar, where I can pay a pilot enough credits to take me back to the Finalizer.

Considering it'd surely risk the pilot's life to take me anywhere close to the ship's cannons, I'll be paying a lot of credits.

"Did you hear anything I said?" Ava asks, waving her hand in front of my face.

"No." I admit sheepishly.

"I said, you shouldn't go hiking in the woods by yourself, you know. You might've forgotten, but you're carrying precious cargo." She repeats, slower than she'd been talking before. Realization hits me.

"No! No. I'll be okay by myself. Don't worry about me." I plaster on a fake smile, praying it'll work.

I can't have one of them coming with me! They'd never let me go!

Especially not with a one way ticket back to the Finalizer. I can't understand why they're so against my return.

I just want to be with him.

Why's that so hard to comprehend?

I grab a handful of something and stuff it in my face, going to open the door, when someone's hand encloses over my arm.

I turn to look at them, frowning deeply.

Draco.

"Please let me go." I say quietly, not in a joking tone as it was earlier. Worry swims in his eyes and his fingers loosen after a second. He raises his hands in the surrender, and the room falls completely silent.

"Are you sure about this, baby sis? It's not very safe for you and little Crylo out there, you know." Seeder finally speaks up, her head raised.

"I'll be fine." I snap, thrusting the door open and slamming it shut moments later.

The bright light makes me squint, but my eyes quickly adjust to the warm, green setting. I take my first deep breath of fresh air in 2 months, then set off for Maz's Castle.

My boots barely dig into the already tread-on trail, sending dirt up in clouds behind me. Bird-like creatures chirp and flutter over my head, and the sun's warm rays bake my skin to a slightly uncomfortable temperature.

It isn't long before I'm already winded, and I wonder if Ava, Draco, and Seeder were right.

I quickly shake the thought, too stubborn to admit I might've been wrong.

I'm relieved when my destination is already in sight, my pace growing slightly quicker at the thought.

I hike across the concrete steps and slabs and find my way inside, my cheeks tinged red with effort, sweat trickling down my back, and my hair sticking to my face.

I wasn't the most pleasant or endearing sight, but I'm sure Kylo would be happy to see me nonetheless.

I look from side to side for a second, before I realize I have no idea who or what I'm liking for.

I let out a defeated sigh and situate myself at an empty table. I study my fingers, hoping to come up with a rational plan to find a pilot and get the hell out of here as quickly as possible without causing a ruckus.

"You're unfamiliar to me." The garble-y voice startles me, and I raise my widened eyes to find the culprit.

"I live around here." I stutter out to the alien woman who only stands at about 1.25 meters. Her huge, magnified eyes narrow and she pulls away the weird lenses. She peers into my face, coming uncomfortably close.

"You may live here now but you aren't from here. A great force-user yearns for you; I sense it." She steps forward and I step back.

"Ah, yes. You know who I speak of. Ben Solo." She clears her throat. My breathing hitches at the mention of his name.

How did she know, by only looking at me?

"Not all force-users are trained to become Sith Lords or Jedi Knights, you know." She smiles, answering my unspoken question. I remember how Kylo used to do this to me.

I remember how much I hated it and begged him to stop.

Suddenly, the words he'd spoken to me only two months ago echo throughout my head.

"I'll see you again, I promise. I'll see you again, I promise. I'll see you again, I promise. I'll see you again, I promise."

I feel a strong, acute pain in my chest and tears burst out of my eyes.

So much for not causing a scene.

"I've seen many eyes before, but never have I seen ones like yours. Never have I seen someone who loves so deeply, so unconditionally." The woman whispers.

I take one final step back, away from her, but it was too far.

I slip on something and stumble backwards, my head slamming into something with a loud crack.

I lay on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, my eyes shifting side to side lazily. My vision swims in and out, several faces peering over mine and disappearing.

Seconds before my vision goes completely black I feel a large, familiar hand rest over my bump.

The last face to appear over mine before I black out causes my pained heart to lurch.

I'd recognize him anywhere.

Kylo.

-

hey hey hey

what's up everyone

it's been too long

almost a week

what the heck

i need to up my game

anyway

what was actually going on in this chapter

and such a whack ending

honestly

yeah

please make sure to check out covet and fall in love with it as you will

also please please please vote and comment (especially ghosts) bc I've really missed you guys lately. where've you been? is there something wrong?

ok ok

I'll get out of your face

ily all

kait