I'm awoken the next day by blaring sirens and flashing red lights.

I sit up, realizing it's late afternoon, and Kylo's gone.

Where is he?

Memories of the moment we'd shared late last night were burned in eyelids; it seemed I'd see it or think about it every time I closed them.

I wasn't sure if he was going to kiss me, I'm not the one who reads minds.

He didn't kiss me.

I get dressed quickly. I'm in the middle of tugging on a boot when there's a sharp rapping on the door.

"Coming!" I yell, kicking the boot off and shuffling to the door.

"Captain Ghana. I, as well as your unit, expect that you'll be ready for takeoff in 5 minutes; we seem to be under attack." Captain Phasma demands, causing my eyes to widen. I nod.

I look out the window as I'm trying to suit up, and then I see it... "It" being a large squadron of X-Wing starfighters entering the StarKiller's atmosphere.

"This is it." I whisper to myself. I'd thought I wouldn't have my first mission for a while, but it seems that the time has come much sooner than I'd expected.

I sprint out of the room the second I'm done changing, huffing as I try to make it to my ship in the right window of minutes.

"Captain!" A pilot from my unit calls out.

"Prepare for immediate takeoff!" I order, un-attaching my TIE Fighter from its lock to the floor before climbing in. I check to make sure my ear piece is working, before pressing the familiar buttons to start the engine. The fighter revs to life, and it's only seconds before I'm lifted from the ground, the familiar screech filling my ears.

"3 Scarlet Unit, attack at the sight of any Resistance fighters." I shout, pressing my fingers onto the blasters. I'm ready.

"Yes ma'am."

"Of course, Captain."

A chorus of agreements follow my words, and I know my unit has my back. My unit will always have my back.

I see my first X-Wing.

I know I'm in the lead and I'm the first one in sight, so I immediately begin to shoot.

I hit the wing of one plane, and the engine of another, then I dive my nose down, avoiding counter shots.

I propel upward again and slightly pull back, not as used to the speed and agility of the plane I now control.

I shoot again, hitting another target. The plane explodes, and the pilot inside has surely been killed.

I trained to be a pilot with everyone I've shot down by now; boy, the tables have turned.

The saddest part? I could've shot and killed one of my best friends and I'd have no idea.

SHUT UP! I internally scream at myself. You chose your side and your fate; there's no turning back. Ever.

My thumbs are prepared for another direct shot, when I recognize something.

A spot on the side, not too big, where me and a certain friend of mine had marked our friendship. The engine I'm prepared to kill is, in fact, Poe's.

He has no idea it's me. I'm wearing a mask. Naturally, he shoots at my wings.

Feeling like a coward, I dive down to avoid his shots instead of returning them. I can't do it.

His ship finally turns away, instead blasting away at the general spot for the StarKiller's inside pipelines.

An array of explosions chorus behind me, and several members of my unit dive to the ground; their final destination.

I've never been in such an intense battle in my life.

I weave through ships and shoot down 3 more enemies. The sun is growing increasingly dim, meaning the battle will be over soon.

If they can't destroy the StarKiller before it's done charging, they'll be obliterated along with their base.

A place I once called home.

"3 Scarlet Captain Ghana; this is a lost cause. You must land to safety, and be ready for safe delivery to another base." Warns a voice in my ear.

"3 Scarlet Unit, prepare for landing. Be careful out there." I say, turning the opposite direction from the battle. If Hux is worried, I should be too.

Luckily, me and most of my unit survive making it back to the landing strip. I immediately open the hatch and jump out, running to the General and his troopers.

"Hux!" I yell.

"General." He corrects, scoffing. I roll my eyes under my mask. Now isn't the time for his bullsh.it.

"How are we to esca-"

"You will board an escape hatch directly to your right along with several other squadron leaders. There is no need to panic."

"Thank you." I sigh. A weight seems to lift from my shoulders. I'll be okay. I'll make it okay.

"Also, well done, Captain. Ekdor tells me it's some of the best flying and leading he's ever seen." Hux congratulates, looking to one of his successors who nods in respect. I thank him one more time, before turning towards the escape hatch. I'm several footsteps away when I finally remember something:

Kylo.

"Excuse me, Hux!" I jog back quickly, worry etched in my brow.

"General!" He hisses, again.

"General!" I yell back.

"There's no need to shout, Ghana. Remember that I am your supervisor." He scolds.

"I don't have time to argue at the moment, Hux. Has Kylo boarded yet?"

He looks down.

"No." He answers quickly.

"What do you mean, no?" Terror builds in my stomach, and I'm not sure if I want to hear what he has to say next.

"Lord Ren hasn't returned to the base yet; we aren't quite sure of his whereabouts, actually." He admits.

"I'm not leaving this base until you find him."

"Does the term authority mean nothing to you? I decline. Please enter your escape hatch to be assured safety. Otherwise, you will burn with this horrid hell-hole." He says.

"Hux, do you even care?"

"No." He states savagely. It's my turn to scoff.

"Please take her to the escape hatch, and don't give in to her struggles." He orders his troopers. He smirks, sending me a nod, before finally turning away.

The troopers approach me, their hands out. As soon as they grab my arms, I scream like a real girl (screams sound funny coming out of my voice modifier) and kick as hard as I can. They drop me right away, and I sprint as fast as my legs can carry me back to my TIE.

I leave the base on an unauthorized takeoff.

I can't leave without him.

I won't leave without him.

I see the planet crack beneath me, and finally, a flash of red; a lightsaber.

I dive forward, letting my ship land roughly in the snow. A roar fills my ears as a giant ship takes off not to far to my left. My eyes widen into saucers as I realize that it's the Millennium Falcon.

I feel snow falling into my boots as I try to run, and I sniffle because of the cold.

"Kylo?" I call.

No answer.

"Ky!" I yell.

Silence.

It feels like shouting into a void.

"Kylo, please." I say quietly, my heart slowly shattering. I can feel tears brimming in my eyes. Where is he?

"Mal." It's the smallest whisper, but it fills my ears like music.

Then, my eyes land on an unnaturally-still black lump in the snow.

-

ok everyone:-)

i updated quicker than I thought!

but I actually don't know when the next update will be:-(

writing this book makes me so happy and I love your reactions so much!

tysm

ily

kait