I moved out of Kylo's room.

After the incident he demanded I leave his presence; so I did. I ran (more like, hobbled) to the bedroom meant to be ours on this new ship, packed my things, and forced Hux to give me my own room.

I know I can trust Hux to help me whenever I need it, even if he acts as if he hates me. I don't believe he does. He claims the only reason he came back to the base to save us was for Kylo; it wasn't.

I stare at myself in the mirror. My eye is swollen badly. I wince as I touch my cheek, disgusted; it's covered in a large, dark purple bruise that hisses in pain at a simple touch.

He did this to me.

I think I hate him.

Before I know it, I'm slamming a glass from the bathroom counter onto the floor. It shatters.

I want to scream until I can't scream anymore.

I gingerly step out of the bathroom, leaving the shards on the floor. I need to find a sanitation trooper.

I put on pants, then my cast. I brush my hair out of my face and attempt to cover up my bruise. It's impossible.

I put on a shoe, then I go to open the door; when I do, he's standing there, arm raised to knock.

His stupid mask is on.

I should slam the door in his face. I should leave him there and refuse to speak to him. Part of me never wants to speak to him again. I can't accept the fact that he'd ever hit me. He crossed the line.

I don't slam the door in his face.

I don't leave him there.

I don't refuse to speak to him.

I leave the door open and stand in front of him, my hand still on the handle. I stare at the ground like a coward.

A damned coward.

"Do you need something?" I ask quietly, sure that he wasn't going to speak first. I'm still looking at my shoes.

"I wanted to know if you're coming back." There's no emotion in his deep, mechanical, modified voice; it makes the anger from my previous outbreak rekindle.

"This is my room, I have no reason to come back."

"Look at me when you speak."

He's trying to piss me off. He's trying to make me angry enough to spill my guts to him, so I'll eventually forgive him.

I won't do it this time.

"I don't have to look at you if you don't have the balls to speak to me without your dumb mask on."

His hands tense up in the fists and he raises one, forcing me to look at him. My body shakes as I try to bring my chin back down.

"Let me go, Kylo." I growl, frustrated tears welling up in my eyes. "Why won't you leave me alone?"

"I can't leave you alone, Mali."

"Why can't you, Kylo? Why can't you leave me alone?"

He doesn't have an answer; not right away, at least. He gives my question thought.

Without losing his focus on me, he forces my body to slide back and comes in after me, closing my door behind him.

"Can't you feel it?"

Something about what he says erupts butterflies in my stomach.

"Feel what?" I ask, dumbly. But I do feel it. I know I do.

"You have to feel it, Mali." He says quietly. I've never heard him so vulnerable.

He's kept his promise not to read my thoughts.

"Maybe I would feel it if you didn't throw me away after all I've done for you. I saved your life and you don't even care." I shake my head, unbelievingly, and drop down onto my bed with my arms crossed. I hope he'll get the hint and let himself out, but I've never known him to do that.

Instead of the echo of his boots as he disappears out of the room, I hear the click of his mask coming off. His footsteps come forward instead of retreating. I feel the shudder of the bed as he sits down beside me.

"Will you look at me?" I don't want to hear the softness of his real voice. I don't want to feel his warmth radiating beside me. I don't want to hear his breathing; long and slow.

I don't want to see his curly black hair; the kind you want to run your hands through. I don't want to see his pale, ivory-colored cheeks. I don't want to see his full, pink lips, that make the cutest smile on the rare occasion that he's happy. I don't want to see his obsidian-colored eyes, and the way they shine when he looks at me.

He's ruined me, and I know it.

I hate him; I swear I hate him.

"Please look at me, Mali."

And I do.

I try not to flit my eyes to the stitched scar that expanses his face, or the large bandage that covers his blind right eye.

"I did this to you."

He looks upset.

I can't help flinching when he touches my bruise. Hurt flashes across his face.

I feel my heart melt.

Warning signs go off inside me, and my mind screams to tell him how much I hate him and to run away, never looking back.

Instead, I let him caress my cheek, my eyes trained on his face.

"I'm so sorry, Mal. Forgive me?"

He's never apologized for what he's done.

I can barely think of him as a heartless monster.

A man who kills for his greediness and feels nothing is looking straight into my eyes and begging my forgiveness; I can't help but want to give it to him.

"I-if you hurt me again, I'm gone; I'll leave and I won't look back." I stutter.

"And I would deserve every part of it." He finishes.

"D-do you promise that you'll never hit me again?" I blink back a tear, biting my lip.

"Anything for you, darling."

I do feel it, exactly as he'd said earlier. I have an inkling that I know exactly what it is that I'm feeling; what we're feeling.

There's nothing left to say, so I do something that speaks more than words ever could.

I close my eyes, and let his lips meet mine.

His kiss is full of emotion; it's hungry, desperate, passionate, something much bigger than that. Our lips move in perfect synchronization, as if they were never meant to fit with anyone else but each other's. He rests his forehead on mine and lets me tangle my fingers in his hair. I've never experienced something so relieving, so perfect.

We finally break for air, and his eye is looking into mine. For once, it's filled with joy. He lightly smiles and places a little kiss on my nose.

My heart soars.

-

mwahahahahahahH

I can't wait to see your reactions omg

that felt sooooooo good to write:'-)

I'm hoping for another update over the weekend, but if that doesn't happen, it'll be sometime early next week!

hehehehehe

ok

(sending kylo love)

ily

kait