Harry Styles

"You know I'm not a hound, yeah? I won't come running every time you call," Leala huffed, plopping down on the sofa next to me. I phoned her as soon as I'd left Professor Barranco's office. I hadn't been able to think straight since I'd seen Darien. I'd actually spoken to her. I'd fantasized over that very moment for months, and it had happened in the blink of an eye. Now, it was all that I could think about.

"Oh, come on. Don't you enjoy being likened to man's best friend?"

"Watch it, Hailey," she warned. She shot me a glare before she eyed the half finished beer in my hand. "A bit early for that, isn't it?"

"I've had a long day."

"So have I and yet—" She motioned dramatically toward herself "—I'm still sober."

"You didn't see Darien Grace." I swallowed the majority of what was left in the bottle, grimacing at the acrid taste.

"Sobriety is for the well adjusted. Refill?" She sighed as she stood, holding her hand out for my bottle. I finished the bit that was left before passing it off to her. "Honestly, I'm ashamed at myself. I should have known. There's only one person in all of creation that could get you pissed before noon. Did you even go to class today?"

"Called in sick."

"Wanker." She strode out of the kitchen, handing one of the new bottles to me before bringing the other to her lips. She grinned at me, setting back into her spot on the sofa. "So, just how bad was it?"

"She hates me," I muttered, spinning the neck of the bottle between my fingers.

"And you're surprised because?"

"I know that I fucked everything up, but I didn't think—"

"Mate, you shagged your ex-fiancé right after Dari bared her soul to you. You can't seriously be daft enough to think that Barney wouldn't hold a grudge?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "You really don't need to remind me, Lee."

"Actually, I think that I do. You've been so fucking wrapped up in yourself lately. This whole 'woe is me' shite is getting old. Grow a pair and man the fuck up already. If you want her back so badly, then just bloody go for it. Moping isn't going to do anything and you know it."

"What the hell am I supposed to do Lee?" I yelled, coming to my feet. "She wants absolutely nothing to do with me."

"And whose fault is that?"

"I know that I screwed up."

"Good. So what are you going to do about it?" She leaned forward, her eyes gleaming with the same devilish mirth that had gotten me into a few too many messes over the years.

"What do you mean?"

"How are you going to fix this? What's your master plan, Harriet?" Lee asked, propping her elbows on her knees.

"Master plan? I barely made it through today. I don't have a plan. You know as well as I do there's no planning with her." Every single time that I'd tried to plan something in the past she'd fucked with it. She'd either figured it out, or she insisted that we do things her way.

"So then make the twat think that it's her idea? Bloody hell, this isn't rocket science." She was openly laughing at me as I struggled to figure out how to make my world turn again. It was safe to say that I didn't exactly see the humor in the situation. She looked at me, motioning, for me to continue, but I was out of words. I had no clue what to do. "Okay, fuck. You know as well as I do that you're not going to get Darien back just sitting on your bum, sobbing like an oversized toddler. Get off your ass and—fuck, I don't know—woo the damn girl!"

"Woo her? Seriously, Lee. You want me to 'woo' her? What century are you from?"

"Don't be a pissy fucker with me, Harper. You're the literary genius here. What do all of your sappy little protagonists do?"

"Excuse me?"

"In those romance novels you read."

"I do not read romance novels."

"Novel begins. Boy likes girl. Girl does not like boy. Girl starts to like boy. Boy mucks up. La-di-da-di-da, everyone makes up and makes babies. The end. That's how they all go." Lee shrugged.

"How do you know so much about the?"

"The blonde one likes them," she said, muttering under her breath.

"Lee, you're blonde."

"Yes, but my personality isn't," she huffed, pulling a long drink from her bottle.

"What does that mean?"

"She's all sunshine and rainbows and happiness. I'm a dark fucking cloud."

"And that relates to the color of your hair how?"

"I do not live inside a stereotype."

"And yet you'll profile your girlfriend."

"She's basically a real-life Disney princess. She is what the stereotypes are based on.

I snorted, taking a swig from my bottle. "So, what? You enjoy shagging Cinderella? You two bippity-boppity-bang all night?"

"That was terrible." She glared at me, finishing off her bottle. "She really threw you off your game, didn't she."

I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger "I don't know how to be without her anymore. Knowing she's back and not being with her is fucking torture."

"You two didn't do this thing the right way the first time around," she said, sighing before going into the kitchen once more. The clink of her bottle being discarded into the bin sounded out. I followed her. "She ran the show. You two were shagging your brains out before you even knew the first thing about each other. By some weird twist of fate, you've been given a second chance. Do it properly this time. Woo the girl. Be the charming, proper little fucker that I know you do be. Hold doors open for her. Bring her coffee. Offer her your jacket. Pull out all the stops those sappy rom-com blokes do. Be something out of a fairytale and even Darien fucking Grace won't be able to hate you."

"Don't go getting my hopes up," I said, a sad smile curling my lips.

Leala sighed, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek as she passed. "Get some rest. You look like shite."

After Leala left, I moved slowly through the too quiet flat, trying to put my life back together one piece at a time. She was right of course, I did look terrible. I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept the entire night. Dark circles hollowed the space beneath my eyes, the angles of my face sharper from my lack of appetite.

My hands shook slightly as I turned the tap for the shower. A minute later, steam filled the small room and I stepped beneath the scalding deluge, unwelcome memories forcing themselves to the forefront of my mind.

After Leala forced me to leave France, I couldn't focus on any of my classes. Eirwin was still in town, sorting out details for a benefit for her latest charity. I'd left her the keys to my flat while we were gone. I had no use for the space while we were abroad anyway, but I wasn't expecting her to still be here when we returned. She said she felt awful, claiming she was going to stay to help me get back on my feet. I didn't have the energy to protest. I was still reading from seeing my broken girl laying unconscious in a hospital bed.

I regretted what happened between Eirwin and I more with each passing day. I hadn't intended for it to go as far as it did. I had too much to drink and the alcohol coupled with the nostalgia that washed over my at the sight of my former fiancé proved too potent. The dam I'd built to lock in everything I'd ever felt for her buckled under the pressure and it all came flooding back to me in a storm longing and regret. I wanted to fight it, but a selfish, hardened part of me missed the ease of a relationship lived in the open light of day, free of the shadows. So, while Darien Grace bared her soul, I gave in to temptation. I brought the world crashing down around us.

I had no idea how much of my indiscretion Darien had witnessed, and I had no way of finding out. I loved her with every fiber of my being, but I'd said the same about Winny at some point, hadn't I? I'd loved her since I was four. Darien Grace was different, though. We we'd had was different, wasn't it? couldn't even be sure anymore. My head swam from the heat and the hunger panging in my otherwise empty stomach.

What was love? How could it be this goddamn painful? Why did people want to feel this way? Why did they want their happiness, their lives to be ruled by the whim of another person? It made absolutely no sense.

When we returned from France, I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I wasn't Darien. I wasn't that strong. I knew that she hid more from me than she would ever tell me. She was stronger than any person that I'd ever met, and somehow I'd managed to break her. How could someone as strong as forged steel shatter like spun crystal touched by the tip of a pin?

I wanted happiness. I wanted freedom from the pain and guilt roiling inside of me. I knew it was selfish. Fuck, it was so incredibly selfish, but I couldn't help it. Nausea rolled through me as a new memory drifted to the surface.

* * *

"Goodness, not again."

I groaned at the voice invading my mind. It made my head pound.

"You smell like Scotch."

"Maybe it's because I live with a Scott," I slurred, pulling a pillow over my head to block out the damnable light now flooding my room.

"Scotch not Scott. Now up with you. This entire room smells of alcohol and the inside of your stomach," she ordered, yanking away the duvet and sheets in a swift motion.

"'S not bothering me," I groaned, grabbing blindly in the direction she'd pulled, "but you are."

"Too bad, now get up and get your pished arse into a shower!"

"Someone has their knickers in a twist," I grumbled, throwing the pillow aside and sitting up in my disheveled bed. I couldn't tell you the last time I'd washed the sheets. I'd been avoiding it. A few weeks ago, they'd smelled like Darien. Over time her scent had faded, and had been replaced by sweat, alcohol, and vomit. Darien Grace was gone.

"Fuck." I rubbed the heels of my hands over my eyes, dragging my hands down over the stubble along my jawline. With every thought of her that filled my mind, my migraine increased. Squinting through the overly bright room, I searched for a bottle—surely one of them had something left to offer. My hand had just wrapped around one when it was ripped away.

"Not a chance," Eirwin threatened, walking over to the small window, pushing it open and dumping the remaining liquor down onto the sidewalk below. She tossed the now empty bottle into the bin by my desk. I didn't bother to look up as she stood in front of me. She took my head in her hands and tilted my face up, forcing my eyes to meet hers.

"Into the shower with you now, yeah?" she whispered, the pads of her thumbs running back and forth along my cheeks. I had to look away. The sympathy in her gaze was too much. She was too much. There wasn't fire in her eyes, she was something softer, gentler—more like fresh snow on a winter morning instead of the inferno I knew raged within Darien. Instead Winny was the epitome of serenity. She always had been. It's what drew people to her. She was a modern saint to most people. And yet she was here, picking up after a man who certainly didn't deserve it. I'd treated everyone in my life like complete rubbish for the past few weeks and still she stayed.

"Why are you still here?" I hadn't meant for the words to slip out, but they had. I needed to know the answer more than I'd previously admitted.

"You know why." Her voice was hardly audible, but somehow I heard exactly what she said. A pang of guilt resounded throughout my heart. I didn't deserve this... and yet I was too selfish to give it up. A small smile curved the edges of her full lips, "I'll always be here."

* * *

My stomach heaved, emptying bile into the bottom of the tub. I clucked the tiled wall for support, my entire body shaking. Yes, Leala and I had found Darien in France, but I'd done nothing even remotely worthy of her forgiveness since. Yes, I kicked Winny out months ago, but I'd been the one to allow her to live in my flat in the first place. II shattered our Otherwise what was I doing in reparation? Getting pissed alone and wallowing in regret.

I hauled myself upright, rinsing my mouth with the now cold water streaming from the tap.

I had to make things right. I couldn't keep living like this and I owed Darien at least some semblance of peace of mind. I would make things right. I had to.

A/N: Hello everyone! I have missed y'all. It's strange how long a week can feel.

I know, I know, I brought back Winnie (Winny the Poo as some of you all hilariously refer to her), but you all know, I love a little drama. Thoughts on the chapter, though? What do y'all want to see happen next?

Is Lea growing on you all a little? I adore here, but I know she's a bit prickly. It cracks me up how often she ties with Winnie for the least favorite character.

If you want to be featured in one of the upcoming chapters, hop on over to the second titled "So You Want to be a Character" and fill out the little questionnaire listed there and as ALWAYS -- COMMENT! The more you comment, the more likely you are to catch and hold my attention. So comment on the chapters -- the outrageous, the sweet, idk anything that catches your attention. I really want to know what y'all are thinking and how y'all are feeling about this new plot-line!

Now, get your Wattpad fix for the rest of the week by heading on over to:

On Tuesday -- THE AROTTIR by hannahgrowe . It's dark, dramatic, moody, dangerous, violent, and mature. I'm a tad partial to the story myself (lol), but for real. Head on over. It's a bit of a departure from Dari and friends, but still super intriguing. #ArottirTursday

On Friday -- The Famoux and The Classix by famouxx . Kassandra tackles modern issues like body image, self-love, and the public eye while weaving in drama and suspense. Think Gossip Girl meets Uglies. I've been following the world of the FMX for literal years now and I still can't get enough. So go ahead, pop on over. #FMXFriday

Finally, check out @ellerosebooksedits on IG for some truly gorgeous Sonata/Concerto edits. Darian_Lila is an actual goddess and an OG #Stellanator. Major props, my love. Seriously. (Her most recent edit is in the header).

Anywho, thank you again for reading! Can't wait to see y'all next week.

Loads of love,

--xE