The past and the present are here in this moment

+-+---+-+-&-----&--+---&&----&---&&&

I was about six years old when I realised what freedom was.

And before that, I used to think freedom is an object that everyone must have. So that they can believe what's like to breathe in the air which is not consumed with blood.

I was six when I ran after a flying kite. The kite was flowing in all directions of wind but I was afraid of it. I didn't want it to fall on the ground to be fragile. I wanted it to land on my tiny hands so I could understand what it was.

When I ran, I left behind everything for a moment. The family, the friends, the sun, the eyes, everything.

And a woman with freedom must know what she relishes while having no strings attached.

I kept running without realising where I was going while being barefoot when the stones were crushing my life. maybe my mind was more curious about catching the wind much harder or living in the freedom which I have not experienced before.

the sky was also covered in a subtle shade of blue, and it was endless with no limit. The deep shade of blue changed again and it got trapped in tranquil layers of air. The air was breezy at that time. the summer was at the end, the musky mud was drooling over the sand, and the weather reports were announcing the monsoon is going to arrive soon.

yesterday was the day when I cried for the whole night. mom scolded me hard for getting bad marks on a math test. I hated maths as much as I hate summer.

dad didn't let me eat dinner and my grandma was not there anymore. I cried for the whole night. maybe that's why my adrenaline I pumping and I am running like there is no beginning and end.

sky trapped in dark clouds bombarded again at me while growling like a tiger. I felt something inside my stomach churning so badly that I couldn't breathe again.

the kite fell on the nearby lake and it get drowned in a second like an ocean galloping every moving object.

that kite was a dream of another child like mine who gets drowned by the speed of the wind and I hate every second of it.

I jumped in without knowing if I am going to survive or not, and maybe I not at least saved someone else's dream.

the rain was devouring the land with its moisture, it was a sign of the beginning and end at the same time. the leaves which have grown old have nothing to hold on to. they are at their end.

the beginning was futile for some because they have taken a breath of the fresh air. I took out the kite when I was completely drenched in water when I was shivering from cold when I was numb for a second and when I was at infinity.

and the next thing I remember my dad was looking at me as if I have swallowed something against his will. my mother was horrified as I have killed someone. and there was a guy who was older than me. who was staring at me as if I was a piece of disgust? the heated hard stare was directed to my eyes, the heated hard stare which was quivering me from inside. the heated hard stare was piercing my body into thousands of pieces, the heated hard stare was making me blind ahead of thousand of eyes.

"Jessica, Where are you?" Aman's voice brings me back to reality. when Abhimaan's eyes were still insulting me for too long.

"coming," I replied and walked away when he was still lurking at me as I have grow another head.

why is he staring at me like that?

is something wrong with this dress?

or the way I look?

why is he making me feel conscious about the way I look.

However, my eyes went to direct where the stage was.

My eyes went wide, the stage was set proudly waiting for their rock star to own it.

My heart skipped a beat when I heard for the very first time the thousands of applause around me.

The air was not deteriorating anymore. The girl in the fifth grade was not here anymore. She has gone into her shell so that I could be here.

And then the singer came, to make everybody devotee of his marvellous voice.

He was none other than Rishabh Sinha.

I closed my eyes and found him glancing at me, those penetrated eyes I can never forget.

I used to glance at him for long hours in my dream.

And I have heard from people that my dreams are not going to be fulfilled ever. They are too naive.

But when he started singing his song while playing the guitar in his hand, my mouth quivered, and a lump formed in my throat.

The biggest tragedy is not when you weep, the biggest tragedy is when you can't stop despite trying several times. The biggest tragedy arises when the colour of the sky doesn't alter itself in different shades, the biggest tragedy arises when you cannot open your eyes.

However, my closed were closed during this moment, the smooth silhouette voice was reaching into my ears making me more vulnerable at the thought of touching the sky.

The more frequent beats went the more thinking my heart went.

I was living in the moment for the first time without observing what was occurring around me.

As the noise became wild, I realise that something was not right. My heart was in my throat when I found myself quivering in between the crowd.

"Run! This place is burning!"

Abruptly, the trauma begins again, the fifth-grader girl came back and the past started floating in my mind.

I cannot breathe.

I find it hard to do. The room is empty and I am going to die soon.

I heard voices near me, some were thrashing, some were burning, but most of them were lost.

Lost because they will never regain their existence. Lost because not everyone gets the likelihood of living the way they want.

I felt someone's presence around me when my mind was dazzling in bullion of thoughts.

Abhimaan was glancing back at me.

What's wrong with him?

Why didn't he leave like everyone else?

Without asking for my approval, he grabbed my hand.

"Are you blind?"

His greeted teeth were a cut on my heart.

"Oh, how could I forget? You are a writer, there is nothing I can expect from a brat like you!" His penetrated eyes sliced my heart into thousands of pieces.

But I didn't say anything.

I wasn't even aware of his existence.

I remember the day when the first time someone downgraded me.
Like it didn't mean anything to them.

The fifth-grader girl was too shallow to even look straight in the sky.

And I don't know where I am going right now.

-+-+&+-+&+&+&+&+&+&-&------&&&&&

Was too busy

But now I am back🥰🥰🥰

Hit like and do comments

XOXO