Jay comes over to my apartment and tells me straight to my face that we should break up. "We were each other's childhood crush," Jay says, his eyes glittering merrily as he talks. "But we are not each other's adult crush."

We laugh and the tension is broken. "Jay, you mean so much to me, you know that?"

"Stop with the classic break-up line," Jay sighs and pulls me into a hug.

We stay like this for at least 3 minutes and then I say, my voice muffled by his shirt, "Can I break up with you? I want to do it."

"No. You were dumped by me," Jay says sweetly, winking at me.

"No, you were dumped by me," I frown and rebuke him.

Jay smirks. "We all know who's the real heartbreaker here, Angel. And it isn't you."

"Jay, shut up. Let's just go get fries."

We walk to McDonald's and get Seaweed Shaker Fries. Like always, I don't put ketchup on my fries because what's so amazing about tomato sauce anyway? Jay disgusts me by double dipping his fries in the sauce and saying "Mmmm, delicious."

"Tomato sauce sucks."

"It doesn't. And that's precisely why I broke up with you."

"Jay! I broke up with you," I argue, not wanting to back down.

He laughs. "Okay. Keep lying to yourself."

He is the ultimate annoying best friend. I'm glad, though, that we turned out this way. The term best friends fits us better than boyfriend and girlfriend. Somehow, my childhood crush on Jay is gone, replaced by a longing to be with Remi.

I think Remi's starting to see me that way too, that we could potentially be a couple. But I could be wrong. I keep telling myself that, so that if there is an inevitable disappointment, I won't be too crushed.

Jay winks at me and teases"So, you and Remi, huh?"

"Is it that obvious?" I gulp, mentally analysing how I behave around Remi. Don't I behave like my normal self?

As if he read my mind, Jay pops five fries into his mouth and says "You show him your vulnerable side, not only your tough side. It's never happened with a guy other than me before. And you keep looking at him. I see how your hand twitches, too, when you two are close. Additionally, you stand taller with him, and have a relaxed facial expression, which leads me to believe that you are at ease with him and happy. Also your nickname for him indicates affection."

"Jay, do you know you are a creep?"

He shakes his head. "No, those are just my observations. Angel, I'm sure you can get him to love you. His body language tells me so too."

Before I know it, I'm eagerly leaning forward and begging for more details. Relenting, Jay elaborates calmly "He looks at you when you don't notice. His feet are usually angled towards you, which is a sign that he is interested in you. When Remi sees you, his expression changes- his lips part slightly, showing that he wants to get to know you more. Perhaps you don't notice this either, but his voice is slightly deeper with you than with others, like me. It's also a sign of his desire to impress you."

My jaw hangs open and I look at Jay, impressed. "Is this all true?"

Jay taps his fingers against the table and sighs, looking more bored than irritated. "Of course."

I can't stop a grin from spreading on my face; it's just wonderful to get that confirmation. However, I cannot mess this up- it's only the second time I've liked a guy, and I have to do it properly. Maybe I'll go against social norms and ask him out first instead of the other way around. As I slip into dreamland, Jay watches me and smiles. "You're smitten. Well, I wish you good luck. You can definitely do it, okay?"

His kindness takes me by surprise, and I am even more gratified to see that he is happy for once. His sorrow is a pale grey and it's so rare that I break into a larger smile than before. Jay should always be like this: smiling and beautiful. He deserves it. 

"Jay, thank you for being my best friend. I love you so much." 

He smiles warmly at me. "Now, let's get you your man."

---

"Where were you?" Remi asks, his voice blank and detached. His eyes, however, tell it all: the gold is gone, and the grey is darker than normal. "I was waiting for you."

"Oh, you were?" I grin. 

Remi shoots me a cold stare and I shiver under the frosty gaze. My hopes are dashed when he explains "I kind of need stuff to wear."

"I gave you my biggest hoodie last night and biggest sweatpants! You're lucky I had a Billie Eilish craze and bought so many oversized clothes. If not you'd be a sight in a tank top and shorts," I glower at him, all fantastical thoughts of us being a couple flying from my head in an instant. 

There is fantasy, where you and your soulmate live happily ever after, and then there is reality, where you and your "soulmate" argue quite a bit and don't get along too well. I suppose, however, that's why reality is so harsh and yet beautiful, like a cold winter landscape: rugged yet mesmerising. 

When he doesn't reply, I finally work up some sympathy for him- which is hard to- and hand him a large pair of sweatpants. "This is my only other pair. Sorry. You can re-wear my hoodie from last night."

He looks horrified. "It's in the washing machine."

"Well, that's your problem," I toss over my shoulder defiantly as I head into the bathroom.

Unfortunately, in my haste to get into the shower, I forgot to grab a towel. After I lather myself with my fragrant, amazing soap and rinse off, I call "Remi!"

A shout in response. I scream back "I need a towel!"

After a short while, Remi knocks and I open the bathroom door a crack, extending my dripping wet hand. The towel is shoved into my hand and the door slammed. As I dry myself, I can't help but beam like a fool. Was the all-powerful Remi embarrassed?

When I leave the steam-filled bathroom, the first thing I see is his back. I clap a hand over my mouth to stop from squealing, then remove my hand and stand up straight. No way am I going to be fazed by a man's body. I can't help memorising how it looks, though...a lean yet toned back, with a healthy golden-brown tan. A sigh parts my lips before I can help it.

Remi turns around quickly and flushes. "I'm sorry, Angel. Your big hoodie is still drying." He gestures to it and I see that he has been trying to dry the hoodie with my hair dryer.

I raise an eyebrow, folding my arms. "Hm, what's that in your hand, huh?"

As he grins, my eyes don't miss the fact that his sorrow cloud pales in colour. "Why don't you come closer to see?"

I roll my eyes and walk over while twisting my hair into a bun with the towel. "Remi, you should iron it. It'll dry faster that way, trust me."

Now I'm standing closer to him and I swear, his muscles are swoon-worthy. In order to stop myself from being more distracted over them, I help him to iron the hoodie until it's less wet. We keep doing it, and finally it's dry. Remi pulls it on, and unexpectedly draws me closer. His hug is warm and snug and I curl up closer to his chest. "Thank you, Angel. Sleep tight, okay? Don't get nightmares anymore."

---

The next morning, Remi still refuses to go to his home and meet his parents. I swear I have not met a more stubborn person in my life. Anyway,it's time for me to spend time with Lyra, and so I leave Remi and go to take her out of the orphanage, bringing her home for breakfast at about 8 am. Her eyes light up when she sees Remi. "Remi!"

"Lyra!" he echoes, squatting down and opening his arms. I smile as I watch the two. I can almost imagine them being father and daughter. It's different now, too, because Remi knows that Lyra is his niece. 

She runs into them. "I'm hungry," Lyra says, blinking. "Is there food? McGriddle?"

"Not today, honey. I'll cook a meal for you, okay?" I assure her and quickly head into the kitchen to whip up a kid-worthy breakfast: pancakes and maple syrup with powdered sugar on top. 

Remi wanders in as I'm flipping the pancakes. "She's watching Dora," he explains before I can ask. I smile dreamily at the pancakes. He sure knows me well, to know what I would have asked.

"Angel, they're burning," Remi sniffs, and pinches his nose. I shriek and scramble to dump the pancakes on a plate, away from the fire. He drones on in his annoying tone, teasing me as usual. "Remember when we said I'd teach you to drive and you'd teach me to cook? Are you qualified for that?"

"Remi, you burn water. Don't you dare judge me," I warn, taking a step closer to him and raising my pancake spatula. 

He laughs. I know I should be focusing on the moment, but my eyes drift to his sorrow cloud. Now it can hardly be called a sorrow cloud. It is lessening by the day, until it is just a shade darker than Lyra's is. A smile blossoms on my face. 

"Angel, you look beautiful now," Remi murmurs, his eyes alight with a fierce yet gentle emotion that I cannot place. 

I stare into his multi-coloured eyes that are flashing like jewels, lighting up my kitchen with its beauty. My feet take me two steps closer to Remi, until my head is just below his chin, my eyes meeting his. I hear him draw in a sharp intake of breath. 

Before I can do anything, Remi leans in and kisses me.

The spatula clatters to the floor. 

He cups my chin with his hands, deepening the kiss, making me crave more. His kiss drives wild sensations down my spine and ignites feelings I never thought were possible. It's a combination of the dazzle of winter and the warmth of summer and I want more. Remi draws back, but I pull him closer again, and he responds almost helplessly, sinking into our kiss. His soft lips kiss me again and again, the honey-sweet feeling intensifying each time. Fireworks burst into flames in my heart and I can hardly stand the feeling of euphoria and of freedom that comes from kissing Remi.

Abruptly, his lips freeze against mine. I try to get him to kiss me back one more time, one last time, but he stumbles back. I will never forget how horrified he looks at his moment, looking at me like I am a monster- why did he kiss a monster? Why kiss Angel?

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