Shayla

I watched Eric as he slowly walked over to my bed with his head hanging as he opened the room door and closed the door behind him. He returned from taking tests that the doctors ran on him to detect if he had contracted the virus.

What is life at this point? I've worked so hard up to this point in my life to have it all taken away from me.

When the doctor told, me they ran a blood battery 5 times and I was indeed infected with the virus, I felt my world come crashing down on me. I chased love so bad that I ended up with something that I couldn't get rid of.

"Shayla...I am so sorry" Eric choked on his tears as he violently shook his leg, staring at me.

He continued, "I never meant to hurt you...I know I aint shit.... Baby I am so fucking sorry".

I stared at him blank. I felt numb, cold, hardened as he spoke to me, pleading for me to forgive him. I felt E'mani shift around in my belly, before she found a comfortable spot.

"How long Eric?", I finally spoke.

He sniffled, "How long what?"

"How long you've been sleeping around with Tomica?", I lowly asked as I gave him a menacing glare.

Eric inhaled then exhaled as he used the back of his hand to wipe his tears away. I stared at him, feeling no remorse at this point. My life was over at this point. Only thing I could do is pray and ask god to wrap his arms around me and guide me through this time.

"Since she was serving me those papers" he replied with hurt in his voice.

"God!", I roared as covered my face with my hands, sliding them to my legs as they shook violently.

"Baby...I am so...- "

I pointed in his face," Go ahead and say it! your sorry, your sorry like every other fucking time. Well guess Eric?! Your sorries don't cut it no more. I am sick and tired of this shit. I loved you so much, probably more than I love myself and what do I get? A fucking failing immune system, three letters that will probably take me to my final resting place, a fucking wedding ring that don't mean shit to your sorry no good trifling ass!" I screamed as my chest heaved up and down.

I continued while snatching my ring off my finger and throwing it at him. Eric picked up the ring and looked down at it in his hand, then slowly up at me as if I broke his heart.

I continued to scold him, letting him have it. "Baby...you don't mean that...you don't mean that", his voice cracked as he wrapped his arm around me and cradled me in his arms.

"LEAVE ME ALONEEEE...I hate you Eric.... I hate you so muchhhhh", I shrieked at the top of my lungs as I cried and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Shhhh", he said to me as he cried with me. "I love you Shayla Nicole Wright.... I love you baby".

I wept hysterically with my eyes closed while we continued to rock back and forth in the hospital bed. I literally saw every memory me and Eric shared from the day we met up until this point, where I found out the worst news of my life.

| Flashback |

"who said you can touch me "I asked, looking him up and down. Eric stared at me.

"Look Shelia can we talk" he asked.

"Who the fuck is Shelia" I folded my arms across my chest. Eric put his hands in his pocket.

"I meant Shayla...My fault. But yeah can we talk please" He asked me.

"Shayla I love you, please don't hate me.... I love you" Eric wept as he planted kisses on my face.

I laid on the bed upside down, explaining to Eric what happened to me and he found the whole thing funny. I'm glad one of us did.

"Man, fuck that bitch and fuck that nigga. You got me, you know I wouldn't do no shit like that, right?" he asked in a deep tone, turning me on.

"Nigga you've done your share of dirt don't play with me". I heard him smack his lips.

"That was then Shayla, I'm talking about now. I'm all about you baby"

I smiled.

|End of Flashback |

"Eric Leave me aloneeeee, please" I cried as I opened my eyes.

Eric gazed at me as he roughly bit down on his bottom lip before squeezing me tighter. He cried and I cried. We both cried together in each others arms. I had to chill, since I felt E'mani kicks get rougher and rougher.

I am overexerting my body and my blood pressure was higher than 140/90. I can possibly develop preeclampsia if I don't relax. I may have HIV but, there is a chance that I can still deliver a healthy baby.

"No Shayla...I am such a fucked-up nigga, but I aint gonna leave you. We gonna get through this together...you hear me? We gonna get through this shit"

------

March 1995

| Cedars-Sinai Medical Center |

Los Angeles, CA

Shayla

I wiped my tears as I walked into Eric's room. three weeks ago, they released me from the hospital and placed me on suicidal watch and bed rest with medicine for my virus and for the baby.

I thank god that these pills don't conflict with each other. But it really wouldn't have made a difference, I still feel like shit. Most woman were excited during pregnancy, but most woman wasn't faced with the news that their husband has Aids and they contracted the HIV virus.

There was television coverage on every channel about Eric contracting aids. It got to the point that I don't even listen to the radio or watch TV so I won't be constantly reminded of this nightmare I am living.

I had no aspirations for life at this point. Rih, Kim and my Auntie Cassie has been staying at the house with me, forcing me to eat and take my medicine. They don't want anything happening to E'mani and myself.

Eric looked at me with a small smile. His mom, dad, Ren and Yella was in the room. And that bitch Tomica was there too.

"Why is she here?!", I yelled as I walked towards her.

This shit gotta stop right now, I thought as I threw my purse down on the foot of Eric's bed.

"I WANT HER OUT...NOW!"

Tomica stood up with tears in her eyes in her eyes as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Shayla...I am so sorry..." She sobbed. "I am... -"

"GET THE FUCK OUT...NOW", I yelled even louder.

"Calm down baby..." Mr. Richard said to me as he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"Please leave...my...my wife asked you to leave", Eric said before he went into a coughing fit.

Tomica quickly exited the room as she cried. She slammed the door behind her.

"Mom...Dad...Guys", Eric sighed. "I'd like to talk to my wife alone"

They nodded their heads as they started to leave out the room. Yella sniffled as he looked back at me. Ren stared at me with anger on his face, mixed with sadness.

"This is bullshit", He said as he stormed out the room.

------
Eric

Once the door closed, I looked at Shayla who looked like she hasn't slept in days. She stared at me with pain struck across her face. I coughed a little, then catching my breath.

"I need to talk to you..."

"About what Eric", Shayla sniffled.

"Ruthless... you gonna have to take over ruthless", I said as I started coughing again.

Shayla eyes widened, "What... Eric I can barely take care of myself, I...I can't do that...what if I don't make it? what if I don't survive".

Her eyes watered as she stared at me with them dropping quickly down her face. I bit my lip and looked up at the ceiling, gathering my tears before staring at her.

"You gotta be strong baby. We" I pointed to her than me. "We gotta be strong, if you feel that you may not survive I'm put Rih in the will. She's the closest to you and gonna have to run Ruthless", I shook my head.

"Eric.... you're not going anywhere...E'mani needs her mommy and daddy", Shayla whined as she wiped her tears and climbing on to my bed.

She wrapped her arms tightly around me and cried nonstop. I rubbed my hands up and down her back as I watched several wet spots form on my blanket.

"Shayla...they said 6 months is all I have and I know I haven't been the best man, husband or boyfriend but I thank you for never leaving a nigga side. You are truly heaven sent...I love you so much"

I squeezed her tightly as the tears flowed down my face freely. Shayla cried in my ear softly as she rocked us back and forth. I pulled back and grabbed her shirt.

"Stop crying...stop it. we gotta be strong, we aint no punks baby all this crying shit, crying all day and night, me not eating, me losing sleep because I can't be at home with you and my kids, knowing you at home suffering just as bad as I am...I'm sorry baby... but this crying got to stop...what are we?"

Shayla sniffled, "Real muthaphukkin G's"

I smiled as I wiped my tears away, "That's right. We gonna be good and I know you hate me cause of Tomica and getting her pregnant but listen to me".

I grabbed Shayla face and kissed her lips as my tears dripped on top of her lips.

"I'm make these 6 months' worth it okay, Ima make it well spent okay. E'mani gonna be born in like a month and half. You gonna give birth here and she gonna know who her daddy and mommy is okay?"

She stared at me while nodding her head and then looking away from me. I held her chin and made her look up at me.

"Aye...I love you girl"

She furrowed her eyebrows as more tears fell.

".... I love too Eric"

-----

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