Hi...

Plz point out mistakes.

I'm v proud of this cover.

TW for implied rape, low self-esteem, and mentions of suicidal thoughts.

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Gerard tapped his foot nervously, glancing around at the other parents in the room.  There were so many differences. He was by far the youngest - which was saying a lot at a kindergarten open-house - only nineteen, with two four-year-olds, (a very complicated story he was glad no-one had pried into so far), one of the few without a wedding ring. People seemed to be assuming he was their brother.

 Bandit clutched his right hand tightly as Miles held his left, both of their dark eyed gazes shifting as nervously as their father's.

Suddenly, Gerard was called upon for social interaction when the person he assumed was the teacher approached him, if the lanyard was anything to go by.

He was about the age a kindergarten teacher usually was, somewhere in his early twenties (and still older than Gerard). He must have gone straight to college after school. As a kindergarten teacher, the dress code for him was more lax, even for this parent event.

He was dressed in black jeans and a gray t-shirt, his dark hair swept almost over his eyes. Gerard knew he would be a teacher he would have loved to have when he was in school.

"Hi, I'm Frank," he said, sticking out his hand for shaking. Gerard took it, trying not to shake with nerves.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Gerard," he said, trying to fit into his parental/adult role. "This Bandit, and this is Miles." He introduced each of his children. "They're twins."

Frank bent down, sitting back on his calves.

"Hey guys," he said. He put his hand out for them to shake as well. "I'm Frank, I'm gonna be your teacher. What's your name?"

Bandit tentatively reached out and took two of his fingers into her small hand, moving them up and down slightly.

"I'm Bandit," she said quietly.

She reached across Gerard's legs to tap on Miles.

He copied her movements, telling Frank his name as well.

"Nice to meet you," Frank said. He stood again to meet Gerard's eye level. Or a little below, because he was short. He turned his words back to Gerard. "So, just to confirm, you're their father, right?"

Gerard nodded. "Mmhm."

"Okay," Frank nodded as well, then smiled brightly, looking down at the kids. "Do you want a tour of the classroom?"

Bandit and Miles nodded slowly, following Frank and leading Gerard with them.

They saw the reading corner, which Miles loved, since he was already trying to read, plus it had a lot of beanbags and stuffed animals, which he also loved.

Bandit liked the game corner the best, a place full of puzzles and blocks, legos, and dolls, which was unsurprising, since she was by far the most active member of their family.

Gerard liked the art corner the best, but that wasn't very important since he wasn't going to this school.

Frank seemed nice, and Gerard was less nervous about leaving his babies with a random stranger for seven hours a day all week. 

Even if he was nervous, he had to. He had just gotten a new job, and the slight chance of them being kidnapped was a risk he was willing to take if it meant they got to not starve to death.

But if Frank turned out to be, like, a child molester, then... nope. He wasn't gonna think about that. No one was ever  going to touch his children if they didn't want them to, not if he was alive and breathing. 

Sure, maybe he was slightly paranoid, but he had good reason.

He was like the gayest man alive, after all, and Bandit and Miles hadn't come from nowhere.

But Frank was nice, and there was a room full of other kids, and it was a heavily populated school, and Gerard had drilled good communication into their heads from basically day one. They would be fine.

Just fine.

-

After the tour, Frank left to talk to other parents, but Gerard felt like he had to stay till the end.

Even if it was weird, he was nineteen years old and this was his kids' first school, you could cut him some slack.

Luckily there were snacks, so Bandit and Miles took some and wandered off to do activities (by themselves, because they were about as social as Gerard), leaving him to sit at one of the very short desks.

A while later, Frank came back, saving Gerard from an awkward conversation with some kid's (Millie's, apparently) grandma.

"Okay," Frank said. "So, this is weird, and sorry if it's rude or anything, but how old are you?"

Gerard was tempted to lie and say he just looked young, but his age was somewhere in the files, where Frank could hypothetically access, and he didn't want to be looking like he was hiding something.

"Nineteen," he said honestly, glancing away even though he kind of wanted to see Frank's reaction.

"Oh," Frank said, seeming sort of shocked, but taking it a lot better than most people. "You guys must have been really young when you had them."

Gerard fixed his eyes to the ground, mentally chastising himself, because he was supposed to be an adult, dammit, and he was a fucking dad and he couldn't handle talking to his kid's kindergarten teacher.

"She did," he said, trying to come up with a response that made sense but didn't give anything away. "Or, I mean, yeah, she was older, I was fifteen, but I wasn't like, there-" he mentally cursed himself. "I mean, I was there like, when it happened- not that part, obviously I was there for that part- like, when they were born, I was there too, but I wasn't like, you know, the rest-"

"It's fine, you don't have to tell me about it," Frank said, saving him yet again - this time from his own horrible brain-to-mouth function. "I was just wondering, I didn't mean to pry."

"It's cool," he said, managing to get his speaking under control. "I was fifteen, she was seventeen, we're not together anymore, that's all that matters."

Well, that was a complete lie; so much more mattered, but he probably wouldn't believe him even if he told him, and he wasn't about to go spilling his guts to his kids' teacher.

Frank nodded, and they stood awkwardly for a moment, neither of them knowing how to break the tension.

Gerard was staring at him. He had tattoos, lots, and they covered his arms. There were some on his neck, up high where they couldn't be covered, and Gerard wondered if that was the point.

"Well, um," Gerard said, finally breaking the awkward silence. "I better go get Bandit and Miles. See you tomorrow morning."

He gave a little awkward wave, rushing away to gather his kids.

They passed the parking lot, walking home as they barely drove anywhere. 

"Daddy?" Miles asked.

"Yeah?" Gerard said, glancing over at his son, who was connecting him and Bandit.

"What is love like?" 

Well, it came out as 'wove', but that counted too.

Gerard slowed his pace slightly, thinking about how he should answer. It wasn't like he had the best experience with love. Romantically, no one wanted him, or at least not for more than his dick. His family was all dead - besides his kids; his grandma to cancer, his parents to a car crash, and his brother to murder.

That had almost been the last straw for him, and if it weren't for the fact that he had kids to take care of, there wasn't a chance in hell he'd be here right now. 

But he did have kids, he had them and he loved them, and it didn't matter if he hated how he got them, because they made up for it be merely existing.

"It's like... us," he said. "Our family. We love each other."

"Oh!" Miles said, skipping. "Yeah! I love you, Daddy. But what about, like, the over love? There's love like you love boys!"

"Umm..." Gerard trailed off, not really sure what to say to that.

"Like big boys," Bandit clarified. "Like Mr. Frank!"

"I-I don't love Mr. Frank, I don't know him."

"What?" Bandit asked quizzically. "But you talk-ed to him. How do you not love him? Whabaout love at first sight?"

"Let's talk about this later," Gerard decided.

-

After dinner, Gerard tucked in the twins and then slid into bed himself.

They all slept together because all three of them had common nightmares, and Gerard could calm them down with hugs, and they liked to climb on top of him and squeeze his arm or neck tightly until he stopped crying. Plus then they didn't have to buy more beds or rooms.

Their whole family definitely had PTSD, Gerard from various experiences, the kids from the car crash that took their grandparent's life and sent them to the hospital for days.

Gerard hadn't slept for days after that, and Bandit and Miles wouldn't have either if they hadn't been only three at the time and couldn't really manage to stay up. Now they all took melatonin to sleep better, but it was a decided rule to wake the others if you were scared.

Gerard let them rest their heads against his chest, stroking through their soft brown hair as they fell asleep, and he waited for the medicine to kick in.

(a/n ik melatonin isnt rlly medicine)

Soon he felt their soft snores against his shirt, and he followed them into sleep soon after, wishing as always that he could be good enough for them.

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Hi again.

So, I'm sleep deprived and I have to be up in five hours, happy fun time!

Thanks for reading, hope it was passable.

Byeeeeeeeeeeee

ily.

-Brightside ⨳