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forty-two.

June March could feel the sweat dripping from the back of her neck, rolling down her back as she pushed the door to the room JJ was sleeping in open.  The blonde stirred at the sound of the door opening, not waking up but definitely hearing the noise. June felt her breath hitch in her throat as she walked over to him, her lips turning up into a pained smile as she looked at how perfect her was, how peaceful and happy he looked in his sleep, and how she was about to fuck all that happiness up.

June pressed her hand to the side of his face, the boys eyebrows twitching in his sleep, making her smile drop. Maybe she should just go home, maybe she shouldn't do this. But if she waited any longer, if she waited any longer it would be worse. It was about time she told some truth, opened up the endless caverns of secrets and facts in her mind, things that she hadn't told anyone before because she was so closed off. If she was going to continue on with JJ like she wanted to, he needed to know her. The real her.

June ran a finger over his bottom lip, her fingers tapping lightly against his skin and making him stir again. This time he awoke, his sleepy eyes blinking away the last bits of his dream, a small smile on his face as he realized who had woken him up.

"Hey." He whispered, closing his eyes again as he melted into her hand. She felt her chest tighten in anguish as she wondered if she should still tell him, her hands were getting clammy and she was starting to sweat again.

"Hey baby." June said, the words making JJ open his eyes again. He looked at her face, pushing himself up from his laying position, the blankets falling from his chest and making her bite back a comment.

"What's wrong?" JJ said, pushing the hair from his eyes as his red cheeks made her heart pound. He was adorable, he looked perfect, and all she could think about was how she was about to ruin their whole relationship. How she had ruined their whole relationship. Her eyebrows furrowed together at his words.

"What makes you think somethings wrong?" June asked, tilting her head to the side as she ran her finger over his cheek . He pulled her hand from his face, holding it in his lap as he tried to catch her eye, just proving that something was wrong.

"You don't call me baby. You don't like it. I call you baby. Something must be wrong. Why are you here? I thought you went home. Are you okay? Are you hu-"

"I'm fine. You and me need to talk."  June furrowed him off, her tight lipped smile dropping as she finished. The worry became evident on JJs face, the boy running a hand through his hair before looking at the wall..

"Uh oh." He said, knowing that that phrase never ended well. "Okay. I'm ready."

June looked at him as he looked at her with anticipation, his eyes narrowed and  his lips parted as he waited.

"Rafe came to my house tonight. I walked into my bedroom and he put his hand over my mouth and-"

"He put his hands on you? That mothe-"

"JJ please. For right now can you just listen?" This question made his entire face drop,  the dread filling him as he realized June and  Rafe had spent alone time together. June had been drifting lately, he knew it, and he knew that this conversation was not going to end the way he would like it to. He almost wanted to just get up and leave, to tell her not to bother telling him and just forget about it because he wasn't sure he could handle the heartache from her anymore.  But instead he nodded, letting June talk because he was too curious to let it go.

"Rafe let me go and he told me- he told me he loved me. I told him that I don't love him that I love you, but he didn't believe me. He kept pushing he kep—"

"Did you fuck him?" June was taken aback by his words, her eyes widening as she immediately shook her head, a lump appearing in her throat as she  frantically opposed what he had said.

"No. No. JJ listen I have something to tell you. Actually I have a lot to tell you. I did some things that I'm not proud of, and I need to tell you because you deserve to know. You deserve—you deserve better than me."  JJ reached forwards, grabbing her face in his hands and shaking his head.

"Whatever you have to tell me—no June you deserve better. I have nothing, I'm no-"

"JJ I'm not a good person. I lied to you. I always lie. Always. Something happened, I lied- I lied to you about Rafe and I. There's more to the story than us just dating. We— theres more."

"Then tell me. All I've ever wanted is for you to just open up and tell me." JJ said, still holding  her  face in his hands as the last bits of sleep left him.  "I'm ready for you to tell me the whole story."

"I dated Rafe for three months. I didn't lie about that. I dated him for three months and yes, he was my first time. One night after we had just...you know— Adam  walked in and found Rafe asleep in my bed. He dragged him out in the front yard and he...he beat the shit out of him. We got into a huge fight and we swore never to tell anyone. But then I started dating Zach, and it was like a instant pull back to Rafe every time Zach messed up. Me and Zach would fight, I would end up at Tanny Hill. About a year into me and Zachs relationship I got guilty because Zach started being not an asshole. And I- I broke things off for good with Rafe. I...I lied about us because I know how much it hurt you when you found out about Rafe in the first place. But I just—I can't be dishonest with you anymore JJ. You deserve better than my shit and my lies. Out of Rafe, Zach, and you....I've never ever fallen this hard. This—I just want you." June had tears in her eyes as she explained, her face falling as she watched the way JJs face changed throughout her story. She sucked in a shaky breath before speaking again. "But I know-I know for a fact that you are too good for me. I don't want to make any excuses, I don't want to be Zach. I love you. But if you can't forgive me—" June's voice broke as JJ just stared at her, trying to register everything that she had just told him. "—I'm a shit person JJ, I know that. And I deserve a shit person and that's-thats not you. It's never been you. You're so good. You can do anything that you want and you know that deep down. I know you struggle because of the role that your dad forced you into thinking that you would never escape but it's not true. You can be better, hell—you already are. And that's another thing. I've done nothing but shit on you since I've gotten back. I'm so so sorry JJ. I'm so-"

JJ cut her off with a kiss, her tears falling down her cheeks and mixed in between their lips. June grabbed him by the back of the head, knitting her fingers into his hair and reveling in the feeling of kissing him, the most genuine and perfect person she had ever known. Someone whose worth was far higher than her own, someone who she continued to hurt and he had nothing but forgiveness for her.

JJ pulled back, resting their foreheads together and slightly nodding his head.

"You know that nobody—nobody has ever told me that I could be better. Nobody pays attention to me like how you do. Do you remember when we were fighting and John B was in jail and it was raining and I left—but you followed me. Something you said, June,  you said that you had to chase after me because they wouldn't and you're right. Why are you beating yourself up so much about what happened in the past huh? We let it go. You didn't cheat on me, you cheated on Zach. I would too, that guys an asshole. I trust you... hey hey don't cry June." He used his thumb to wipe her tears, June feeling the guilt lick at her skin as she tried to think of how to tell JJ that Rafe had kissed her.

"That's the thing JJ. Rafe kissed me when he visited me." JJs face immediately fell, his chest starting to ache as he looked at the girl. "I pushed him away immediately. I swear I did. I'm so sorry JJ. I'm so sorry that I even made him think that he could kiss me. And Tyler- Tyler that's my fault too. Whatever John B told you, it's because I never told him no, I never said he couldn't pay that much attention to me. Zach...Zach can't let me go because I keep going back and asking for help. I keep giving him hope. Oh my God...I'm the fucking problem." June finished, her eyes wide as she pulled out of JJs grip. She recounted everything that had happened in her head, realizing that Zach was only in love with her because she had went back, she had given him that hope. Zach couldn't get over her because she kept going back. Tyler had been handsy with her because she hadn't told him otherwise, she had just let it happen. She was the only one to blame for all of her boy problems.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm the fucking problem. It all makes so much sense now I-" June stopped, her voice catching in her throat as the only person that  she had to blame was herself, the only person who was making her problems was her.

June started to cry, her mouth dropping open as she moved back from JJ.  The blonde watched as she  started to breakdown, his chest tightening as he went over her words over and over again. He wanted to get up and leave, he figured maybe breaking up with her would  be easier than all the shit that he had been through and would continue  to go through with her. But the second that he thought that he could just leave he regretted it, cursing himself for even thinking that way. He cared about what she had done, and he was angry, but he cared more about her, and he knew that she was better than what she thought she was.  He loved her, more than he could ever explain and his love for her pushed him to lean forwards, grabbing June by the head and getting her attention.

"It's okay. I forgive you. We're good." The words shocked both of them, June letting out a sob as she heard the words she had longed to hear from him. He pulled her closer, laying back slightly and letting her cry on his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, feeling content with his decision. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. "You can have as  many guys after you as you want but at the end of the day... you're here. In my bed. I know you June. I know you choose me. You don't even have to say it. It's okay."

June let out a sob as she nodded against his bare chest, her tears dripping onto his warm skin and making him feel bad. June had a thought, looking up at JJ and attempting to give him a smile.

"Do you want to get married? Like John B and Sarah?" June whispered, JJ immediately laughing at her words. She gave her own smile, watching as JJ shook his head.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready for that kind of commitment June. You know, I never officially said you were my girlfriend." June thought back, the tears still leaking from her eyes as she adjusted on his chest. She sniffled, realizing that they had never in fact  officially made the choice.

"JJ, will you be my boyfriend? Forever? Because I can't live without you. You're the only person I've ever felt like this with. You make me  so happy and you drive me crazy at the same time. You make me feel alive. I-"

"Yes June I'll  be your boyfriend. Jeez I didn't ask for an entire speech." The blonde joked, watching as June smiled, tears in her eyes as she let out a small laugh. This was right, regardless of what she felt for Rafe, he could never be what JJ was to her. He had been the light that had filled the dark and empty hole in her chest. The sun that had shone in on her dimly lit world. He had showed her life and everything that she could do with it, all the joys of living and how to enjoy it.

She laid her head back on his  chest, her tears continuing to fall as she let herself get a good cry in. He just pet her head,  trying his best to push away the thoughts of Rafes lips on June, of his hands on her skin. He wanted to kill the guy, for way more reasons than just one. His fist clenched by his side as he thought of the Cameron boy, his happy thoughts of June diminishing as he captivated his mind.

She laid against his chest, realizing that he was the only home that she was familiar with now, the only one she ever wanted to be at. He was her home. Not the OBX, not her family, JJ Maybank.






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I'm so happy about this chapter , you don't even know. June finally did something right. Good for her.

Let me know what you think 😀😀

(ps. There may be some sexual activity in the next chapter 🤨🤨)

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