Major character death ahead

~

~2007~

    “What are you doing?” The six year old questioned.

   “Math,”

  “That's not math,”

  “Yes, it is, lixie,” the seven year old stated, setting his pencil down.

    “No, it has an x,” Felix said.

   “It is multiplication,”

    “I dunno what that is,”

   The seven year old laughed causing the younger to pout.

  “You'll learn it next year,” Hyunjin said.

   The six year-old made a face, “It looks complicated,”

   The seven year old nodded, “It is, but I'll be here to help you,”

    Felix smiled, “Really?” He asked.

   “Of course, I'll always be here for you, you're my best friend,” Hyunjin stated.

    The younger one thought for a moment before speaking, “My mom told me that her best friend is first love. Are you my first love?”

    “Sure, I'll be your first love,” Hyunjin said.

    “Yay, Hyunjinnie's my first love!”

   Hyunjin shook his head and picked his pencil back up, “We need to finish our homework,”

   Felix pouted but went back to the math sheet he was doing.

     What was a first love?

~2014~

  This was a first love.

   Being dragged along the creek’s edge in the woods to get to their spot.

   “Lix, slow down,” Hyunjin said.

   The younger slowed down a little, “I want to reach our place before the sun sets,” Felix said.

    Hyunjin squeezed Felix’s hand softly, “We will,”

   And they did. They sat there and watched the sun set, then carefully snuck back into Hyunjin’s house.
 
    Of course, they thought they were being sneaky, but if they saw the smile on Hyunjin’s parents faces they’d know that they weren’t. His parents wouldn’t say anything though.

    As they fell asleep hours later, Hyunjin just smiled.

  This was a first love.

~2016~

  Felix bit his lip and let his pencil fall from his hand. He was distracted.

   “What’s up, Lix?” Hyunjin asked, not looking up from his homework. Essays were the bane of his existence.

   “Do you know what kissing is like?” Felix asked.

  Hyunjin stopped writing and looked at his best friend, “What?”

  “I mean… I just… I’m curious, because this person I like… there are constantly people asking him out and I’m sure that he has probably accepted a few and you know maybe kissed some of them.

   I don’t know, I’ve never kissed anyone and like I was wondering if you have you know know what it is like to kiss someone,”

  Hyunjin was a little conflicted. He had no right to be upset about Felix liking someone, the younger was his own person he could like whomever he wanted; there was a small part of Hyunjin, though, that was upset and that might’ve shown a little when the lead of his pencil broke.

  On the other hand, he kind of liked that Felix has never kissed anyone and it was hypocritical, truly hypocritical, especially since he has kissed someone. During a stupid party game, but still he has kissed someone.

  “Uhm, I have kissed someone… during a homecoming party. It was just a kiss, there isn’t much to explain,” Hyunjin said.

  Felix nodded, “Oh,” was all he said.

  Of course, it hurt Felix, why wouldn’t it? Hyunjin was the first person he ever liked– loved even. Day after day he has to watch people ask Hyunjin on dates and confess and it hurts a lot.

   He was just slightly hoping that maybe, he and Hyunjin were in the same boat of not having kissed anyone, but of course, he was wrong, cause why wouldn't Hyunjin have kissed anyone.

  “Do you want to try?”

   Felix blinked a little and tilted his head, “Huh?”

   “Do you want to try to kiss? I mean… if you want. Like practice,” Hyunjin suggested.

   The younger pursed his lips.

  Hyunjin shook his head, “Forget it, it was a stupid suggestion,”

    “No… I mean it would be nice… as practice,” Felix said, maybe too quickly.
  
    A small tension fell in the room. How were they supposed to do this? It looked so much easier in the stupid books they read and teen shows they watched. Actually trying to do it? It was awkward, maybe?

  Don’t get them wrong, they would jump at the chance of kissing each other, but it didn’t mean that they wouldn’t be nervous. In fact, it made them more nervous.

   It was just a kiss, they just had to go for it, right?

Right.

  And they did.

  It was nothing like those movie kisses or oddly described book kisses that Hyunjin would read of. It was soft. Felix’s lips were soft and a little sticky from the strawberry lollipop he had earlier. It almost made Hyunjin laugh a little. He probably would have if he hadn’t been so focused on how hard his heart was beating.
  
  Felix was surprised and anxious. Surprised, because books and movies made kissing feel weird, but this wasn’t. This was nice, barring the fact that Hyunjin’s lips felt a little chapped, he really needed some lip balm. He was anxious because he was sure his lips were still sticky from his lollipop. However, he supposes it doesn’t matter, not with the way his heart was fluttering.

   The two pulled away from the kiss and just looked at each other for a moment, before breaking out into big smiles and laughing a little.

   “You need lip balm,” Felix stated.

  “Nuh-uh,” Hyunjin said.

  Felix nodded, “Your lips are chapped,”

  “Your lips are sticky,”

  The two laughed some more.

   “You’re a good kisser, but I am a little biased… because I am your best friend,” Hyunjin told him.

Felix pursed his lips and took in a breath, “You’re a good kisser too, but honestly that isn’t really surprising,” he said.

Hyunjin tilted his head confused, “What?”

  The younger shook his head and put his homework away, “Don’t worry about it. I’m just talking to talk at this point. I should get going,”

   “I thought you were sleeping over tonight?” Hyunjin questioned.

  “Uhm, I just remembered that Ji and I are going to call later and you know I should do that at my place. Maybe, I can sleep over some other time,” Felix stated.

  That squirrel was getting on Hyunjin’s nerves. It was always, “Jisung this and Jisung that,”

   “Is that who you like?”

  Felix looked at Hyunjin wide eyed. How could Hyunjin even think that? Jisung… Felix loves Jisung, but Jisung was not his type.

    “Are you serious?” Felix asked.

  “Yeah, I mean you’re leaving all of a sudden and skipping out on sleeping over to call him, and you always talk about him and about whatever new thing he does,”

  Felix looked at Hyunjin for a moment, truly just looked at him. He almost looked annoyed. Felix hung out with plenty of people, but the older only ever seemed annoyed about Jisung.

  “What if it is Jisung I like? What if it is Jisung that I am nervous about kissing? What if I have already kissed Jisung?”

    That last one was a lie, but Felix was curious about something.

   Hyunjin didn’t like the way he got jealous, he very much had a bit of a greedy mindset. He loved Felix first. Why does Jisung get him? It wasn’t logical, he knew that. Felix wasn’t a toy. Felix could love and should love whomever he likes.

   “Good for him, then, he is lucky,” Hyunjin gritted out.

  Felix nodded, “I’m going to ask him out today then,”

   Hyunjin nodded.

Felix hummed and reached over Hyunjin to grab his phone. Just as he grabbed it Hyunjin spoke, “I love you,”

    He was not expecting that. He might’ve been wanting that reaction, but he didn’t expect it. Felix looked at Hyunjin, eyes wide and unsure of what he heard.
  
   Hyunjin leaned up and kissed him, his hand gently touching Felix’s jaw. Felix melted in the kiss, his hand letting go of his phone, effectively dropping his and Hyunjin’s phone on the hardwood floor. He cradled Hyunjin’s jaw in his hand and let himself relax in Hyunjin’s hold.

  The essay Hyunjin was working on was now long forgotten. Everything seemed long forgotten with this kiss, Hyunjin’s chapped lips, Felix’s soft but slightly sticky lips, the way their hearts were pounding, it all seemed to fade.

It faded for a minute until Hyunjin’s bedroom door busted open and the two practically jumped away from each other.

  Yeji, Hyunjin’s twin sister was standing there eyes and mouth wide open, her phone inches from falling.

   Hyunjin smiled tightly at his sister and took a breath, while Felix covered his lips with his fingertips and looked away from her.

   “What do you need, Yeji?” Hyunjin questioned.

  “Mom asked me to check on you guys, she heard something fall and you weren’t answering your messages… I see why now,” Yeji said.

Hyunjin threw the decorative pillow Felix bought at Yeji who effectively dodged it.

  “It was our phones, we are both fine,”

  “I’d say,” She muttered, leaving before Hyunjin could throw another pillow.

   Hyunjin looked at Felix who looked like he was going through a billion different emotions.

  “I’m sorry about kissing you without permission, I just… well there is no real excuse it was just not a good move…” Hyunjin apologised.

   Felix looked at him and shook his head, “No, it’s fine, in fact it is welcomed… I mean, uh, you should do it more often…  What I mean-” He was cut off by a kiss.

   “I get what you mean, Lix,”

   The younger nodded, “So, do you really mean what you said?”

  “You are my first love and hopefully if you want I hope you can be my last,”

  Felix smiled bright and threw his arms around Hyunjin’s neck, hugging the older, “You’re mine too. I hope you can be my last love too,”

  Hyunjin wrapped his arms around Felix's waist.

  First and last love.

~ July 2017~

   "And where are we going this fine morning?"

   The blond hummed, "Malibu pier,"

  Hyunjin nodded and started the car.

   "My Barbie wants to go to Malibu," Hyunjin said, reaching over and pushing Felix's hair away from his face.

    Felix chuckled and leaned into the touch, "Who said I was your Barbie, Mr. Hwang?"

    Hyunjin smiled and glanced at Felix then back at the road, "Well if you aren't, I guess I should return the present I got,"

   The younger's eyes widened.

  "Ah, I was just kidding, Hyunnie," Felix said.

    "In the glove box," The older said with a little laugh.

    Felix opened the compartment grabbing the out of place blue velvet box, he pressed his lips together and held a smile back as he opened the box.

    A silver necklace sat in the box, the letters 'H' and 'F' on it, a small aquamarine gem sitting between the two.

    Felix couldn't help the smile that spread across his lips and Hyunjin couldn't help his when he saw the younger's reaction.

   "I love it. It is so beautiful, thank you, Hyun,"

   "Anything for you, Angel,"

  ~August 2017~

   "Have you noticed something different about Hyunjin?" Felix asked, playing with his necklace.

    His best friend glanced at him and shrugged, "It is the start of his junior year and he is football captain this year, he's probably just trying to work everything out,"

     Felix bit his lip and let go of his necklace, "That is what I thought, but we had plans this weekend and he cancelled saying Yeji had a doctor's appointment, and I asked her and she has plans with Minnie,"

   Jisung put his hand on Felix's shoulder, "He probably has some football meet and he just doesn't want to bother you with it. So, how about you and I go shopping?"

    Reluctantly Felix agreed. Jisung closed his locker and linked arms with Felix.

   "So…” The girl began to whisper.

   Felix stopped walking, causing Jisung to grimace.

  "Just let it go, Lix, she is just being annoying," Jisung said.

   Felix was going to let it go. He really truly was and then she spoke again.

  Jisung unlinked his arm from Felix allowing the younger to turn around, a sugary sweet smile on his lips.

   "Where is your boyfriend?" Felix asked.

   "What?" She questioned.

  "That's right he broke up with you trying to date me. Don't worry though, I am sure any day now he'll come crawling back to you or not,"

    There were whispers from the people standing around.

  “Excuse me?" Cindy questioned

    “You're excused" Felix said, a smile never leaving.

   Before the woman could say anything, someone else spoke.

   "Felix,"

   Felix turned, a genuine smile appearing when he saw Hyunjin, it fell fast when he saw the look the older had.

  "Hey,"

    Hyunjin grabbed Felix's hand and pulled him away from the small crowd of people. Leaving Jisung confused and Cindy laughing a little.

  The two walked into an empty classroom and Hyunjin let go of Felix's hand.

   "What was that about, Felix? Why would you be like that with her? She didn't do anything,"

  Felix blinked trying to process each word the older said.

   "How do you know she did nothing? Were you standing there the whole time?" Felix asked.

   Hyunjin shook his head, "No, but I know her,"

  The younger scoffed a little, "Right, you know Miss Cindy,"

  "Felix,"

   "Don't. You obviously don't know her well enough or you do and you just don't care. Which begs the question if you know then why is she so fine with you when you are dating me, unless she thinks you are straight.

  Which brings the question to how she doesn't know that I am your boyfriend, because I go to every meet and every game. Unless you are actively telling her and possibly others you are straight.

Which can lead to a whole circle of questions that comes back to why are you hiding it, but that I can fill in the blanks for," Felix said.

  Hyunjin pressed his lips together.

  "I should have known, shouldn't I have? I mean it's a cliche, a big one too,"

  "Felix, it isn't like that and you know it,"

   Felix shook his head, "I am going to go to lunch, I'll see you,"

  "Hey, I'll drive you home or we can go to the pier," Hyunjin said.

  "No, I'll ask Seungmin to drive me home today," Felix said, shaking his head a little.

   Hyunjin's jaw tensed and he nodded.

  -

   "Everything good with you and prince charming?" Jisung asked.

   "Seungmin, can you give me a ride home?" Felix asked the slightly younger male.

   Jisung pressed his lips together and nodded. That was all he needed to know.

"Yeah, sure, I'll drive you home,"

  "Great, thanks. Jisungie, are we still going shopping tomorrow?"

   "Babe, what happened between you and Hyunjin?" Jisung questioned.

   "Nothing to worry about," Felix said.

  "Really, so why is Seungmin taking you home and not him?"

   Felix pressed his lips together and shrugged, "Change of pace, okay?"

    -
 
    "I need food," Jisung said as they entered the food court.

   "My mom is going to kill me when she sees I bought more shoes," Felix muttered looking in his bag with two new pairs of shoes.

   "Just tell her they were that last pairs and they were cute,"

   Felix hummed and looked around, his eyes falling to a particular table, where it seemed someone had already seen him and Jisung.

   "Felix did you hear what I said?"  Jisung asked.

  "Huh? What?"

   "I suggested we get croquetas and churro bites and sit and eat,"

   Felix pressed his lips together, "How about we go get sushi?"

   "But churros and croquetas," Jisung said with a pout.

   Felix sighed and gave in.

   "Okay, but you pay," Felix said.

  Jisung smiled and agreed. The two walked over to the food stand. Jisung, ordering more than needed.

   Sixteen croquetas and two medium sized boxes of churro bites, along with two red bulls.

   "Where do you want t-" Jisung paused seeing most of the football and cheerleading team, Hyunjin and Cindy included sitting a bit away.

   "On second thought, how about we walk and eat, get more shopping done that way,"

   Felix nodded, setting a box of churros in his bag and opening his red bull.

    "He didn't tell you he was going to be here, did he?" Jisung questioned.

  "No, but it's not like I gave him a chance. I've been ignoring his messages and calls since yesterday," Felix muttered while taking a drink of his Red Bull.

   Jisung pursed his lips, "What happened with you guys?"

   Felix sighed and glanced at the table Hyunjin was sitting at. The older was still looking at him.

   "I just wish things were like how they were over the summer. We were us. We weren't Hyunjin Hwang the football captain and Felix Lee the literature nerd. In a different world maybe we are perfect, but in this one... we just might not be meant for each other," Felix told Jisung, tears brimming his eyes.

   "Does he know you feel like this?" The brunet questioned.

   Felix and wiped fallen tears, "Like I said I have been avoiding him since after lunch yesterday,"

   "Angel," a soft voice called out.

   Jisung turned around, blocking Felix from Hyunjin's view, "Yes?” Jisung questioned.

   “Jisung, please…” Hyunjin said.

   “I don’t know what happened between you two, but talking right now is not what should be done, not while you are here with them. With her,”

   Hyunjin took a breath, “Lix, can we please talk?”

  Felix pursed his lips and just tapped Jisung. Jisung sighed and moved, “I’ll stay over here,”

  Felix nodded and handed Jisung his bag.

    The two walked off to a bit more of a secluded place.

  “Lix, I am sorry,”

  “What do you have to be sorry for? You don’t want Cindy to know,”

  “Felix, that isn’t…” Hyunjin trailed off.

   “Hyunjin, literally everyone knows about us besides her and from what I gather from Shuhua the rest of the cheer team,” Felix stated.

  “I am the captain of the football team, Felix, I just…”

Felix nodded, he could feel his heart breaking, “Maybe we should break up, maybe that is what is best for us,”
    Hyunjin blinked a few times, his brows drawing together, “What?”

“You obviously want to be something you aren’t in front of them and I just don’t want that. I… I can’t handle that, not with you. Maybe when we first began to date it seemed possible that… that we’d be each other’s last loves… but, I can’t handle being some secret not now or ever,”

Before Hyunjin could utter a word Felix left. Hyunjin could tell by just the look on Jisung's face that Felix was crying and it broke his heart more, but he didn’t go after the younger, he just went back to where he was sitting.

~Late November 2017~

They had become strangers in the hall. They noticed each other of course, how could they not.

  Hyunjin would notice the redness around Felix’s nose and eyes, then eventually how the younger stopped wearing things he had bought him. Felix would notice how Hyunjin would just space out more than usual and how he looked more tired.

   And others noticed things. Jisung noticed the toll it took on both of them, he wasn’t Hyunjin’s biggest fan but he still cared. Changbin, Hyunjin’s senior teammate, noticed Felix not being at games and being the loudest one in the stands for Hyunjin.

  Yeji, she saw it all. She knew they broke up. She knew Hyunjin wasn’t taking it well. She knew it all and it hurt her a lot. She watched them become each other’s first loves and she hoped to watch them become each other's last loves, but life had other plans.

“Felix isn’t coming to the game?” Changbin asked curiously.

  Hyunjin pressed his lips together and shook his head, “No, he is home studying,”

   “Hyun, is everything okay with you two?”

  “We, uh… we broke up a couple months ago,”

   Changbin looked shocked, how didn’t he notice that?

   “What? I mean you guys were so good together… like i for real thought you two would be those annoying high school sweethearts,”

   Hyunjin glanced at Cindy who was talking to some of her cheer friends. It all clicked then. Changbin shook his head and scoffed.

  “You know what? Good for him,”

   “What?” Hyunjin questioned.

   “Are you seriously…” Changbin paused in disbelief, “If you are trying to go for that stereotypical high school cliche of the football captain and Cheer captain, I hope you realise how stupid it is. You tossed aside your relationship for what you think you need to be because of what? What she says? What others think? Dude, being someone you aren’t isn’t cool or anything,” Changbin said.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,”

  Changbin nodded, “Right… just know later on, you’re going to regret it,”

Hyunjin took a breath. He already was.

-

   Felix stood at the door, he was unsure if he should knock. There was no point, everyone was at the game.

  The game was today… It was today and Felix wasn’t there.

   The door opened before Felix could delve deep into his thoughts.

  “Oh, Lix, what are you doing here?” Yeji asked.

The older girl was dressed in the school hoodie and school colours, obviously on the way to the game.

  “Uhm, I came to drop off some things of Hyunjin’s,” he said.

   Yeji nodded and let him in, “Are you going to stop by the game?” she asked.

Felix took a breath, “I might stop by for a minute or two, say hi to Jisung and Shuhua,”

   “I know Hyunjin would like to see you,”

  He blinked a couple times and looked over the contents in the box, “Maybe… uhm… I should go. This is for you,” he said, handing her an envelope.

  She went to open it, but he stopped her, “Open it tomorrow, make sure Hyunjin opens it tomorrow too, okay?”

   Yeji was confused, “Okay, but you know Hyun is… he’s impatient,” she joked lightly.

   “Please, just make sure he opens it tomorrow not tonight,”

  Yeji’s heart sped up just a little. What was in these letters that made Felix want her to make sure they opened them tomorrow.

She smiled weakly and nodded, “Okay, I’ll make sure,”

   Felix nodded and took a breath, “I’ll see you, Yeji,”

   “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,”

The younger just smiled and nodded while walking out with her.

   She locked the door as Felix went back to his home next door. There weren’t many lights on, so she assumed that everyone was out besides Felix.

   Pursing her lips she got in her car and drove to the school, the letter in her hoodie pocket.

  -

    “Can we stop at the school? I want to see Jisungie and Shuhua quickly,” Felix said.

   “Sure, it gives us a minute to figure out this thing,” his father said.

   His sisters were both doing their own things.

  It was a quick drive to the school. The bleachers were full of people cheering.

  “I’ll be quick,” Felix told his parents.

   “Take your time, it is fine,” his mom said.

   Felix nodded a little and left the car.

  Home team was winning, which was good. Hyunjin liked winning, he was always so competitive.

  Felix easily spotted Jisung and Shuhua, sitting up front. He walked over and sat with them.

   “How is the game going?” He asked, pulling his jacket closer.

Usually he’d have Hyunjin’s letterman jacket, but tonight he didn’t.

   “It isn’t going well for Hyunjin,” Shuhua said, picking at her pompom.

   “What do you mean?”

   Jisung and Shuhua pointed at the bench near them. Hyunjin was at it practically staring down Felix.

  “What happened? Did coach bench him?” Felix asked.

   “He sprained his ankle, like it looked like it hurt,” Jisung said.

   Felix hummed and looked away only to catch Cindy. Cindy who was wearing Hyunjin’s letterman jacket.

   “Surprised us too,” Shuhua muttered.

  “I should go,” Felix said.

   Jisung pursed his lips, “Call me, okay?”

  “Yeah, call and facetime,” Shuhua said.

   “I will, I promise,”

  Felix got up and quickly left.

   “Finally,” His father said as he figured out the gps.

   “Buckle in, Washington is quite far,” His mom said.

  -

   “My ankle feels fine, Yeji,” Hyunjin huffed as they walked through the threshold.

“Okay, okay,” She said.

   Hyunjin looked at the box on the counter Felix’s handwriting was on the side of it.

  “Oh… Uhm, Felix dropped that off earlier. He left a letter, but he wants you to open it tomorrow…” She said.

  Hyunjin completely ignored her and put his stuff down to grab the envelope.

   He read it and his heart jumped to his throat, it almost made him feel like he needed to throw up.

   He completely ignored Yeji as he left the house and walked to Felix’s. He rang the doorbell about a hundred times before he gave up and went between the houses into the wooded area. It wasn’t true what was in the letter.

  Felix would be at their spot. He would.

  Except he wasn’t. He wasn’t there.

   Felix was gone, he was actually moving… He was gone.

-

  Felix pressed his phone to his ear to listen to the voicemail. He didn’t recognise the number when the person called so he let it go to voicemail.

   “Hey, it’s Hyunjin… I figure you don’t recognise the number since you let it go to voicemail. Understandable considering I am at a payphone. I left my phone at home when I read your letter… we won the game…” Hyunjin let out a breath, “I’m sorry. I was a jerk, I shouldn’t let what others think of me or my reputation get in the way of our relationship, because I love you Felix.

  I will always love you. I want to pretend to be strong, but it’s not going to work. I get why we broke up and Changbin is right. I regret not fighting for you, my first love. I regret not going after you that day. I hope maybe one day we can see each other again and maybe one day we can be each other’s last loves… I’m just sorry for the hurt. I love you, Felix,”

   Felix pulled his phone away from his ear and took a deep breath, he saved the voicemail, then shut his phone off.

  For a rainy day…

~October 2024~

       “Okay, but winter so maybe Tulips or Amaryllis’,” Shuhua suggested.

   “Amaryllis’ are very pretty,” Felix said.

    “Lix, are you sure about going back to Pennsylvania?” Jisung asked.

   Felix pursed his lips, “My parents moved back, so it is easier to do it there,”

      Shuhua nods, “So tulips or Amaryllis’?” she asked.

  Jisung just wasn’t sure about this.
-

   “Hyun,”

  Hyunjin looked up from his book, “Hey, Chan what’s up?”

    Chan sat down across from Hyunjin, “How long have you been here?” he questioned.

  “Six hours,”

  “You need to go home,”

  Hyunjin waved him off, “Did you want something?”

   “I wanted to know if you were busy on December seventh,” Chan said.

    “Considering it is a Saturday, no, why?” Hyunjin asked.

   “I have an event that day, can you be my plus one?”

   Hyunjin thought about it for a moment, he needed a break from studying, “Sure, what type of event?”
 
   “Wedding, for an old college friend of mine,” Chan told him.

   “Okay, sounds good, just text me the details,”

   “Cool. Uhm, go home, get some sleep,”

  Hyunjin nodded, “I will, I promise,”

-

   Hyunjin groaned as he entered his flat. He was absolutely tired. He just needed some sleep before his classes tomorrow and it would be fine.

    “You’re back early. Chan scold you?” Yeji questioned from her spot on the couch.

  “Not really, just suggest in a manner that seemed like if I didn’t come back to rest, he’d drag me back kicking and screaming need be,” Hyunjin said.

   “Good, because you do need sleep,”

Hyunjin sighed, “Med school is killing me,”

   “Relax a little, Hyun, you haven’t taken a break from studying for a while and you are stressing yourself out,”

  The ravenet nodded and took out his ponytail, “How… How do you think Felix is doing?”

   Yeji hesitated before she spoke, “I heard from Shuhua that his hair is long now. Just below his shoulders… and he is blond,” she said.

  “He said he always wanted to bleach his hair… I hope he is happy,”

The woman just gave a small smile and nodded.

~December 6th, 2024~

   Hyunjin regrets saying yes to being Chan’s plus one. Why? Because now he has to stay in his old house in his old room. His old room that was littered with traces of Felix. His old room that had so many memories

   Where he and Felix had their first kiss. Where he and Felix would spend all their time. His old room that was just him and Felix.

   “So, you are invited to this wedding too?” Hyunjin questioned his sister, who seemed really uncomfortable.

  Yeji nodded.

   “As a plus one?” Hyunjin asked further.

   “No, I got an invite which makes things a bit awkward,” Yeji stated.

  “Why?” Chan asked.

    Hyunjin was confused too, why was it awkward?

  “Is it like Shuhua or Jisung’s wedding or something?” Hyunjin joked.

  Yeji bit her lip, unsure what to say.

    “Hyun… it is Felix’s wedding,” she finally said.

   Hyunjin completely faltered.

  Felix’s wedding? It was Felix’s wedding… He was getting married.
 
   “Oh, that is good, he is happy. I’m happy for him,” Hyunjin said softly.

  Yeji looked in the rearview mirror, she could see the tears in her brother’s eyes.

   This is when she wished Hyunjin got over Felix.

    -

   “I don't think I can do this…” Felix said.

   “Uhm, what? Lix, the wedding is tomorrow,” Jisung said.

   “I know, I know, but being here it just… it…”

   “Hyunjin…”

  “Exactly, it just brings a lot of Hyunjin memories back,” Felix said.

   “No, like actually Hyunjin,” Jisung stated, pointing out the window.

    Felix looked out the window and his eyes widened. Hyunjin was here. He didn't invite Hyunjin. Did Yeji invite him as a plus one? No she wouldn't.

  Then he saw Chan. Chan knows Hyunjin.

  Fuck.

  “I can't do this Jisung,”

  “Hey, him being here does not deter from the fact that you love and are marrying Kaito,” Jisung reminded.

  “Jisung, it does when I still love him,” Felix stated.

  Jisung's eyes widened.

   “You…”

   Felix closed his eyes and sighed.

  “Felix, what do you want to do? I am with you no matter what you choose. You want to be the runaway groom, I'll drive the car. You want to walk down that aisle tomorrow, I'll walk right with you,”

  “I… I just… I need a minute alone…”

   Jisung nodded, “I'll be downstairs,”

     Felix took a breath when Jisung left.

  Was he being stupid? Maybe. He still did it though. He still dialed the number he saved under Hyunjin.

   It went to voicemail.

   Felix took another breath, “This is probably stupid. I mean you probably don't even use this number anymore, but I don't know…I'm getting married tomorrow and you're going to be there. You are going to be there.

  I always thought it would be you and I there not… honestly not anyone else, but here I am getting married. Is it a mistake? I don't know. I wish that what happened back then didn't happen. I do wish it was you with me, but it isn't.

   I'll always love you, Hyunjin, you were my first love… I just wish you could've been my last,”

  Felix hung up and tossed his phone to the side.

  This was it. This was the end of their love story.

-

Hyunjin listened to the voicemail several times over. It hurt so much.

   He didn’t understand how it could happen. How could it happen that they went from being childhood friends and first loves to strangers? How did that happen?

He turned off the phone and set it aside.

  Could he have just gone next door to try to do what he didn’t do all those years ago when Felix walked away? Yeah, but he wasn’t going to. It wouldn’t be fair to Felix.

   So this was going to be the end of the chapter. This was going to be the end of their story together.

   Hyunjin’s bedroom door opened and Yeji came in. Her eyes and nose it was clear that she was most likely crying minutes before coming in here.

    “Yeji? What is wrong?”

    Yeji’s grip tightened on the door knob, “Felix went out with Jisung and Shuhua a couple hours ago…” She paused trying to find the right words, “They got into an accident. Shuhua and Jisung are in a critical but stable condition, but… no one is sure about Felix’s condition, because it was very touch and go,”

   “What hospital?” Hyunjin questioned.

The woman stayed quiet.

  “Yeji, what hospital?”

   Maybe it was the look in her eyes that gave it away or the way she wouldn’t say anything.

  He was at the teaching hospital. It might’ve been insignificant to anyone else, but not for Hyunjin. Because even after today and whatever happens, Hyunjin still has to go back there.

  Hyunjin grabbed his jacket and rushed past Yeji and downstairs.

  Except as soon as he got in the car he got a call. It was Shuhua’s number, but that didn’t make sense.

He picked up the phone and answered, “Hello?”

   “Hey, Hyunjin, it is Soojin,”

  “Soojin… Hey, I am on my way to the hospital,” Hyunjin said.

   Soojin took a deep breath, “Hyun, he didn’t make it,”

There was a moment that Hyunjin was sure at one point or another everyone felt. It was the moment where it felt like their whole word was falling apart. This was that type of moment for Hyunjin.

  Everything just felt quiet. He knew Soojin was talking, he just couldn’t seem to make any of it out.

   And just like that, the story was over.