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Chapter 8: Guilt

I could feel myself waking up. My joints were stiff and sore. And I had a wicked headache. But what threw me off was the warm softness that surrounded me. I tried thinking back to what happened.

I remembered Fred and Frypan coming to the slammer and sitting down with a warm mug in my hand. That's all I remember. Now...I feel like a caterpillar in a cocoon. I lay comfortable for a few more moments, my eyes closed.

There was a harsh scraping beside me, it startled me and I flinched with a groan. I heard urgent movement, the shifting of a body and more scraping and a thump. I groaned again. My head hurt, but I tried opening my exhausted eyelids. It took a few tries to open them and have them stay open. I blinked a few times against the bright sunlight. I had no idea where I was, but definitely not in the slammer anymore.

I turned my head in confusion, and frowned even more, even more confused. Gally was sitting in a rickity chair beside me. His intense eyes were watching me, his full lips were pressed tight into a line. I couldn't place the look in his eyes but it wasn't anger...it was almost..worry.

He let out a breath and ran a hand through his blond wavey hair. He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck.

"The shuck is going on?" I asked, surprised how rough my voice sounded.

I slowly pushed my way to sit up. I shivered and wrapped the blanket back around my shoulders. Gally glanced at me and then looked away again, grinding his teeth. He cleared his throat and glanced at me again.

I raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation. I quickly looked around again, it was a big open room, a few beds pushed up against a wall, in a row. A big work table in the middle. On the opposite wall was a bunch of open faced shelves, full of medicine bottles, and equu, towels, bedding, toiletries and boxes of too small clothing.

Ahh, it's the Med Hut. Why the shuck am I in the Med Hut?

Gally sat back and crossed his arms and mumbled something.

"What?" I snapped, my eyes flicking back to him.

He growled and rolled his eyes.

"I said...sorry." he spat.

"Did I knock some kindness into you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He growled again and narrowed his eyes at me. I didn't move, and I didn't back down. I looked him in the eye and I held his gaze. I waited for him to continue. He didn't.

"What are you sorry for exactly?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"If you don't know what you're saying sorry for, you're not truly sorry. And I don't want to hear it." I snapped.

It was quiet again. And I could feel the tension between us.

"Why am I here and not still in the slammer?" I finally asked.

"We got there early this morning and you wouldn't wake up, your lips were blue and cold as ice. We brought you to Jeff. Said you had hypothermia." He grumbled.

I wasn't sure, but there might have been a slight blush to his cheeks. Or maybe it was the sun that shone through the window.

"It was cold in there." I nodded. It took me a second to realize he said the word we.

"Who's we?" I asked.

"Newt, Minho and me."

I nodded once.  This time the silence between us grew. I sat straight, the blanket wrapped around my still shivering body. I watched Gally closely. He was shifting constantly, and wouldn't look me in the eye. He would glance at me, frown and quickly avert his eyes.

"Do you need to say something?" I finally asked, watching him change sitting positions again.

He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and stilled. He hung his head for a moment.

"Look... appolagiaing isn't something I do-"

"Clearly." I muttered with an eye roll.

He growled but continued.

"Maybe, I shouldn't have- so I've been told- thrown you into the..uh slammer your first night." He muttered.

"Was the guilt after you found out I almost froze to death or before?" I asked evenly.

He snapped his head up looking at me, his eyes wide.

"I thought so. So it wasn't so much you felt bad about what you did. If you had found me not half frozen to death you're conscious
would've been just fine."

He opened his mouth but clamped it shut again.

"You don't actually regret throwing me in there on my first night in this hell hole. You don't feel bad being a complete jack ass." I finished.

His face slowly grew reder.

"If your done trying to make yourself feel better, I'd like to go have that shower I was promised yesterday and visit Fry for some food."

I scooted to the end of the bed, and on very stiff legs stood up. I wobbled a little. Gally shot out of the chair and grabbed my arm to steady me. His hands were warm, but it made me shiver. I shrugged him off. Slowly making my way to the shelves and again grabbed shampoo soap and a towel. I also grabbed an extra shirt for a box. I turned towards the door, Gally was still watching me. I huffed and rolled my eyes and marched passed out the door into the sun.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The sun felt nice but I still shivered. I opened my eyes and looked around, realizing I had no idea where the showers were. I groaned in frustration and turned back around. Gally was leaning on the door frame, arms folded watching me still.

"Where are the showers?" It came out snappier then I intended, but I was still trying to keep my teeth from chattering. It was a bone chilling cold.

He rolled his eyes, pushed off the doorframe and swept bassed me.

"Come on."

I resigned myself to follow this ox of a boy.

____________________

I stood under the stream of water. Finally. It wasn't the best water pressure but it was clean and it was hot.

I washed all the dirt and sand and sweat from my hair and body. I was feeling a bit better, the ache in my bones wasn't as bad anymore. No matter how hot I had the water I still had goosebumps. I knew I couldn't stand here all day.

So with a sigh I turned the water off and dried off. I quickly changed, still nervous about being naked with 40 guys around. Gally had shooed everyone out and insisted on waiting infront of the door until I was done, but I still didn't trust anyone. Maybe Newt, I knew Newt didn't think of me it that way.

I wrapped my hair and opened the shower curtain. The showers were in a long skinny building at the back of the HomeStead. Four showers per side, with a hall and a bench in the middle. The stalls separated by walls and a curtain instead of doors. There was a small sink with a rusted mirror over it. I wiped the steam off and stared at the girl in the mirror.

I didn't recognize her, but she seemed familiar. My eyes were big and a startling crystal blue. Light blue around my irises and got darker on the outside. I had long thick lashes, my skin was clear and pale. I had some half decent curves, but I hid them under the navy blue t shirt I grabbed from the box. Just to quell my curiosity I lifted my shirt and saw I had some half decent abs. I smirked and dropped my shirt. I took the towel off my hair and watched the carmly blond waves tumble down my shoulders and back. I ran a quick comb through my hair and sighed.

It was time to go. No more hiding. I turned and left the bathroom. Gally was still waiting. But he was talking to another guy. I wasn't sure what they were talking about, but the guy stopped mid sentence and his eyes went wide. Gally's eyes slid from the guy to me, with a quick sweep of his eyes looked me over and then back to the guy.

"That'll be all, Sam!" He barked.

The guy jumped and scurried off. Gally watched him go and finally turned.

"Come on, let's go get you fed." He grumbled. Without a backwards glance he walked away. I dropped the towel into the laundry basket by the door and then followed.

______________________

"SHE'S BACK!" Frypan's loud voice boomed over me.

I smiled slightly at him, "Thanks for the hot mug last night."

Fry smiled kindly at me and handed me another steaming mug. I inhaled deeply.

"Coffee!" I whispered.

"And pancakes." He handed me a plate stacked high with big fluffy pancakes.

I turned around unsure where to go. I glanced around and saw Newt and Minho at a table with Alby, and headed that way. Gally, surprisingly followed. I slid onto the bench beside Newt. Gally sat down opposite me. Who looked up. His eyes went wide in surprise and then he broke into a wide smile.

"I'm glad you're doing okay, girly."

"Charlie." I said taking a sip of coffee.

"What?" Gasped Newt.

"What?" I looked up sharply.

"You remembered your name!" Minho smirked, pointing a fork at me.

My eyes went wide. I didn't even realize I said it, but it felt right.

"Charlie. My name is Charlie!" I whispered. For the first time since I got here I smiled a full genuine smile.

"Guys! I have a name!" I squealed.

"And it's a bloody lovely name!" Newt beamed at me. "Welcome to the Glade, Charlie!" He threw an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a side hug.

"I still like Snips." Alby shrugged with a slight smirk.

"And I like Tiger." Minho shrugged, shoving more food into his mouth.

I noticed Gally didn't say anything. But his eyes snapped to each guy and his jaw clenched when they volunteered their nicknames.

I shook my head and focused back on Alby.

"So, Charlie...you had a half tour yesterday. I'll show you around and then you'll start job training this afternoon. Good that?"

"Uhhh...good?" I said unsure.

Newt gave me an encouraging nod.

"What am I starting with?"

"Well I think we'll skip baggers, their a little jacked in the head."

"Bagger?" I asked.

"Deal with the dead bodies..and act like our police."

"Yeah ..that's a hard pass."

I paused with a fork full of pancakes halfway to my mouth. I slowly lowered it back to my plate.

"Wait ..you said deal with dead bodies...as in plural...and you said yesterday Alby, there is an actual graveyard?" My eyes were wide, I could feel my face pale and I gulped.

"The shucken hell is this place?" I whispered.

I feel like I've asked this question on repeat. How could someone in their right mind send kids here? How could they possibly justify this?

Newt was waving a hand in my face, I had spaced out again. I shook my head and focused back on the guys in front of me. Minho had already stood up and shoving a water bottle into his backpack.

"See ya shuck faces later."

"Run fast. Run safe!" I said with a small smile.

"Ain't no other way, Tiger." He smirked.

He held out a hand for a high five. I high-fived him back and watched curiously as he jogged to the North door and met a blond kid. They waited by the closed door and started doing some stretches. It was a minute later and the ground rumbled and the walls slowly slid apart with its loud grinding noise. It was still shocking watching huge stone walls move.

"Okay, Snips. Finish eating and I'll meet ya at the box in 10." Alby said standing up and walking away.

Newt finished and waved good bye, promising to check up on me later. I poked around at my plate. I suddenly wasn't very hungry. The weight of this horrible place, settled in my chest. I shivered.

"Still cold?"

A deep voice startled me out if my thoughts. I just nodded. Placing my fork down and wrapping my arms around myself. I watched the boys from different tables, they laughed with each other, argued, joked. All eating and then getting up and off to their jobs. How could they laugh and joke in a place like this?

"Here."

I blinked, realizing I wasn't paying attention again. I shook my head and turned to the deep voice. Gally was holding a hoodie trying to shove it across the table. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Take it. You're still shivering, and don't have anything other than that t shirt. Take the damn hoodie." His voice was deep and gravelly, but I swear his cheeks went slightly pink.

With a questioning look I slowly took it. I skipped it over my head. It was huge, but it was already warm. I pulled it up and over my nose trying to get all the heat I could. I smiled behind the hoodie, I could feel my muscles slowly relaxing as the warmth seeped into me. Maybe this jerk of a boy did indeed have a soft spot. It was tiny but maybe it was there. Or he was still feeling guilty about locking me up and almost freezing me to death.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He gave me his hoodie leaving him in a tight white t-shirt, stretching across his broad chest and shoulders. He had rolled the sleeves up, showing off his huge biceps.

"Thank you." I said quietly.

He just nodded and went back to eating. I got up and brought my dishes to Fry, and headed to meet Alby. On my way I tried pull any memories from my past, trying to understand why the smell of the hoodie Gally gave me, why it made the right knit if anxiety in my chest loosen slightly.

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**So..GalPal..?**
**Also...we HAVE A NAME! Snips has a name! Charlie! What do we think of Charlie?

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