**Trigger warning- Miscarriage**

**I am not making light of, or glorifying this situation in anyway: I have physically gone through this, and I know first hand- if anyone needs to talk, my inbox is always open.**

______________________________________

I was curled into a tight ball. The pain was so intense, the only thing I could do was whimper every once in a while. Gally, Newt and Clint had moved me back to Gally and my room. Trying to hear anything over Ben's screaming was impossible. And I just wanted quiet and to be alone while I delt with this.

I knew something was wrong the moment I landed hard on my stomach. And then being smacked around and the last blow to my stomach, on top of the stress...I was loosing baby bean.

I know I had screamed about threatening to freeze to death and loose baby not having to deal with it anymore, but I didn't fully mean it. The pain in my stomach was nothing compared to the heart ache. It hurt so much. I had no tears left to cry. I didn't scream, I just lay curled up in a tight ball, staring empty eyed at the wall.

Gally had tried talking to me, tried pleading with me, but I couldn't I had nothing. I was empty and numb. I could hear Minho giving Gally, Newt and Alby a run down of exactly what happened. They stood right outside the bedroom door.

"Shuck sakes. She can't catch a break!"

"That's the second Griever to come out and attack in the last few months..."

"And each time it was Charlie's running partner."

"Well... that's just circumstantial."

"It killed Jax and stung Ben and left. It could have taken her, easily. But it left her. I don't know man... It was like it was programed to leave her..."

"Well, it's not like she came away safe! She's loosing..." Gally's voice broke. There was a thump, maybe his fist into the wall. "She's loosing the baby."

It sounded like he slid down the wall. There was some shuffling.

"Gally...I'm sorry. I really am." Newt sounded just as heart broken.

"I tried man...We all did. But..still wasn't enough." Minho had a mix of anger, regret and sadness.

"I don't blame you. At least I don't think so. I told her not to go back in! But she never listens!"

"Don't you bloody dare blame this on Charlie!" Newt warned, his voice sounded dangerous. "She didn't cause this! You blame this klunk on the Creators! Not on that poor girl!"

"Get your ass up and go back in there. Be the support she needs right now, she doesn't need anymore blame. Yes, you're hurtin' I can't imagine, that was your bean too...but SHE has to physically deal with it." Alby's deep voice rumbled through the door. "Your excused for the rest of the day. Go."

There was more shuffling and the door creaked open. And footsteps came closer, and I felt Gally sit down on the bed behind me.

"Charlie? Will you talk to me?" He pleaded.

I didn't have anything to say. I just staired blankly at the wall. He sighed, and I felt him lay down behind me, his arm gently pulled me closer, and I felt his strong chest behind me.

"I'm here." He whispered.

He held me for the rest of the afternoon. The cramps and pain got worse, and then the spotting started. Gally gently carried me to the shower. Curled in the warm stream of water, I finally cried when the spotting picked up and it turned into the heaviest bleeding I had ever had, it lasted for a while and then slowed down. I slowly and gingerly got dressed, I tried to walk, but everything was so sore and tended. My hip was all bruised from landing on the stone floors a few times. Gally didn't say anything, just looked at me with sad broken eyes and picked me up. I curled into him, and his strong safe arms carried me back to bed. He didn't let me go all night. We didn't say anything. Finally right before day break I finally had the energy to speak.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"It's not your fault Charlie. It's not." He said firmly.

"It is. I wasn't fast enough to save Fred...or Jax. Or Ben. If I had just ran faster or ducked sooner...or something, Jax would be alive, Ben wouldn't have been stung. And I wouldn't have lost Baby Bean. Everything is my fault. I can't do anything right...I can't even do the one thing I was designed to do!"

I felt the hot angry bitter tears falling again. Gally's chest rumbled and he pulled me tighter into his chest.

"None of that is true, and you know that." he whispered into my hair.

It was a long bitter night. Neither of us slept much. We took turns silently cry, clinging desperately to each other. In the morning I woke up feeling very empty and hallow. Newt brought us breakfast. He didn't say anything, but smiled sadly at me. I was a disheveled mess, laying curled in the bed. He placed the food onto the table, and silently picked up the pale of blood soaked rags and cloths, and took it out the door. I just stared blankly at the wall.

"Come on. I know you're not hungry, but you need to eat." Gally said quietly, He slid a hand under me and helped my sit. He placed the plate of food into my hands and sat on the bed watching to make sure I put the food into my mouth. I managed two bites.

"I'm not hungry." I whispered hollowly.

"No. Eat."

"I'm not hungry." I repeated in the same dull voice.

"Dammit Charlie!"

His voice was rising, and I could feel his tension building. But I just couldn't bring myself to care.

"Why do you always do this?"

I just stared at the wall, slumped over.

"Charlie! Look at me!" I could hear the frustration and anger laced in his voice.

I just blinked. The pain, and numbness was real, I didn't even flinch or move when he got up and moved in front of me.

"Just shucken eat something Charlie! Take care of yourself!"

I still didn't move. I couldn't. I had nothing left. I just raised my dead haunted eyes

"Dammit Charlie!" Gally yelled. He got up and stormed out of the room.

I knew he was hurting. Anger was his cooping mechanism. He wasn't angry at me...I hoped. But I didn't have the brain capacity right now to dwell on it. I did try to force myself to eat. But it wasn't going to stay down. Newt came and sat beside me, he didn't say anything, just sat and held my hand. Jeff showed up to do a quick check.

"Should I get Gally?" Newt asked, I just shook my head.

Newt sat and held my hand while Jeff did his check.

"I'm sorry Charlie. I don't hear a heart beat anymore." He said quietly. He took the stethoscope out of his ears and draped it over his shoulders. He had tears in his eyes, but he still did his job.

"I know. I lost bean last night."

It came out so dead and monotoned, it probably sounded harsh, like I didn't care. But I did. I cared a lot. Jeff left and it was just the two of us. I took a deep shuddering breath.

"How's Ben doing?" I managed to ask.

"He's doing good actually. Looks like he'll come out of it in a day or two, like Gally did." Newt smiled at me reassuringly.

"I should go see him."

"No. You need to rest."

I shook my head. "I need a distraction."

___________________________________

Newt had walked slowly beside me. I saw a glimpse of Gally. He was yelling at his builders.

"He's not taking this well." I sighed.

"Are you, Love?"

I laughed bitterly.

I sat beside Ben, holding his hand. His screams sending shivers down my spine and a knife into my heart. I guess this is what I looked like and sounded like. It took me a long time to come this close, he looked like the monster in my memories, just not quite so...bloody and dead looking. I had no more tears left to cry. I just sat staring without seeing.

I heard the Greenie alarm go off. I shuddered and sighed. Gingerly I got up, kissed Ben's sweety feverish forehead and slowly made my way back to my room and grabbed the inventory books. I heard a big ruckus over at the Box. I heard Gally yelling, a kid with brown hair was tossed onto the grass. Walking slowly towards them, holding the books tight to my chest. I closed my eyes for a few seconds. Greenie day was the worst.

"We have a runner!" Zart yelled.

I heard laughter and shouts and whoops. I opened my eyes just as the Greenie slammed into me, sending us both down to the ground. I cried out in pain. My stomach was still tended, my hip still bruised and every joint and muscle hurt. We landed in a tangle mess of limps and bodies. We tried to untangle ourselves. I got a quick look at the Greenie and my blood went cold, and I froze.

He was ripped off me and aggressively shoved further away. Gally was snarling at the new kid, standing in front of me. Vinny and Chuck helped me to my feet. Vinny kept his large arm around me, keeping me steady, and Chuck held tight to my hand. But I couldn't tear my eyes off the boy.

He had chestnut brown hair, whiskey brown eyes, tall slender but with obvious muscle. When he whipped his head around his eyes meet mine and a pain shot through my head. I cried out and slapped my hands over my forehead. Gally whipped around, fear in his eyes.

"Charlie? What's wrong? Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head.

Gally rounded on the Greenie, and shoved him again. By this time there was a small crowd around us.

"Hey!" The kid yelled, "What's your problem?"

Gally just snarled.

"What's out there? What's going on? Where am I?"

"Nothin' is out there, nothing good." I think I was the only one to hear the fear in Gally's voice. Everyone else just heard the anger. But The anger was just a cover for the fear. Nothing good ever came from the maze.

Alby pushed to the front.

"Hey! Greenie!" Alby yelled.

The kid turned slowly around to face Alby.

"You're not gonna run again. Okay?"

The new kid just stood stiff and turned his head around like an owl, trying to see everything all at once.

"Good. My name is Alby. Can you tell me anything about yourself? Who you are? Where you came from? Anything at all." Alby asked him rapid fire questions.

The kid spun towards Alby, his eyes wide in fear, I could see the panic rise.

"No. I can't remember anything. Why can't I anything?" He yelled, grabbing his own head with his hands.

"It's okay. Hey, relax. Relax. It's normal. It happens to us all. You'll get your name back in a day or two." Alby tried to reassure the Greenie.

Newt came shoving through the crowd.

"Charlie?!"

I turned to him. When Newt called my name I noticed the Greenie's head turn and watch, a frown on his face, his forehead scrunched and his eyebrows pulled together.

"The shuck girl! I couldn't find you! You okay?"

"The shuck she is! This new idiot came and slammed into her!" Gally growled, throwing an angry arm towards the new kid.

"I'm fine Gally. Slim it." I said weakly.

Alby sensing a fight stepped in.

"Greenie!" He called loudly, before Gally could start. "This here is Newt. When I'm not around, he's in charge."

Newt grinned at the Greenie. "It's a good thing you're always around then, ya?"

I noticed Newt's cheeks flushed pink, and his eyes wandered over the new boys face, the kid also flushed slightly pink.

"That was some dash you made earlier. For a second, I thought you had the chops to be a runner...till you face-planted. That was great." Newt chuckled. His eyes had lit up. The Greenie's face scrunched in confusion.

"What's a runner?"

The crowd slowly dispersed, the fun was over, and everyone had jobs to do before the Fire. Newt and Alby waved Chuck over and Gally turned away from the conversation, and was now looking at me, toe to toe.

"You should still be in bed, Charlie." He said quietly. I could still see the anger, but worry and concern were battling behind his eyes.

"I can't Gally. I just sit there in the dark, alone...I can't. It hurts to much."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Please..." I begged. I wasn't one to ever beg, at least not outside the confines of our bedroom, but I needed to be kept busy, I couldn't let my brin wander.

Gally frowned, the last of his anger melted.

"Just let me sit and do inventory." pleaded quietly, looking up into his intense eyes.

He sighed, caving.

"You are shucken stubborn, woman." He whispered.

I gave him a small thin smile.

"I know. It's why you love me."

He hummed. He slipped his hand to cup my cheek. I pressed my face into his touch, closing my eyes. His warmth seeped into me. Making me feel safe. I stepped into him and wrapped my arms around him. His hand slid from my cheek to cup the back of my head. His other hand wrapped around my back, holding me close in a secure hug.

I watched as the Greenie turned and looked over his shoulder to look back at us. Chuck was leading him away, talking animatedly about something. Greenie's whiskey brown eyes locked onto mine again, and I felt a weird sensation in my stomach.

________________________________________________________________________________

**TOMMY BOY IS HERE!**

**What sorta drama is he gonna drum up between Charlie and Gally?!**