**Trigger warning. Mentions of self harm and miscarriage**

I looked down at the poor kid. He was huddled in the corner. My heart broke. He was just a kid. I mean we were all kids...but we were all older than 16. This kid. He looked like he was 11, maybe 12.

Biting my lip to keep from crying, and blinking a few times to keep the tears from falling, I knelt down in front of him. I had to slowly breath through my mouth, was the smell in this cage always this bad? I swallowed the bile that came up.

"Hey Bud." I said gently.

He lifted his tear streaked face. His big die eyes were red rimmed and swollen from crying. He had chubby baby cheeks and circle screw curls.

"You're going to be okay. I know it's scary. Everyone here was once where you were."

He sniffed and rubbed his eyes with his fists.

"Why...why can't I remember anything?" he whimpered.

"I don't know bud. But it happened to all of us. You will remember your name eventually. I know its scarry."

His lip quivered again, and big fat tears leaked out of the corner of his eyes.

"Charlie? What's going on?"

"Slim it Gally."

I stood up and turned towards the group of gawking boys, I took a few steps over to Alby, Newt and Gally. They crouched down, getting closer.

"He's just a kid. Like...a little kid, the shuck these creators play at?"

"No!" Newt gasped, shocked and heartbroken, his big soft eyes looking into the corner.

Alby groaned.

"Got a problem Alby?" I snapped, glaring at him.

"I just ain't got time for a child. What the shuck? This ain't no place for a kid."

I gave him a look, cleared my throat and raised an eyebrow. He looked at me sheepishly.

"He's absolutly terrified."

"We all were, you can't give him special treatment!" Gally furrowed his eyebrows.

"The shuck I will, but he's a shucken child, Gally! At least we were older! He's still a little kid." I snapped at Gally. Who sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I think he also...uh needs a shower." I added, quietly, looking over my shoulder at the kid.

"What?"

I rolled my eyes. Newt seemed to understand.

"What do you suggest, Love?"

I thought for a moment, how to save this kid some dignity. The Gladers are ruthless, and they wont ever let him live it down.

"Shoo these other idiots away, if there's a blanket or towel, I'll wrap him up and take him to my bathroom."

"So much for no special treatment." Gally muttered.

I gave him such a look of reproach, he had the decency to look slightly ashamed.

"Have some shucken compassion!" I scolded him. His eyes softened a little when I glared at him.

"I'm the mean grouchy stiff one in this relationship, remember? It's why you love me." He said, giving me a smirk; it made me want to punch him. And then kiss him. I growled and rolled my eyes, but the corner of my lip twitched into a smile.

"I'll get you the blanket." Newt said standing up, and leaving out of my line of vision.

I turned back to the kid. The smell had gotten worse. I felt the nausea hitting, I want hot and feeling kind of dizzy, but breathing through my mouth I approached him again and got down to his level.

"Okay, bud..my name is Charlie. And I'm going to help you out of here and were going to go to the showers, okay?" I said quietly, trying to give him an understanding smile, without throwing up.

"Here, Love." Newt called. He tossed down a thin blanket.

Turning back to the kid, I reached out a hand.

"What do you say? What to get out of this awful place?"

He sniffed again, and rubbed his eyes with his chubby fists, but then he shook his head.

"No?"

"I don't want to...I umm.." He whispered, fear and embracement in his voice.

"I know, I have a blanket. I'll get you to the showers."

"Your really nice."

I smiled. "Come on bud, let's get you out and cleaned up."

He reached out , and I pulled him up. I instantly wrapped the blanket around him. He was so short and chubby, it made him look even younger. This poor kid. There was no way he was going to be able to pull himself up and the rope was out of the question.

"Gally, is there a ladder?"

"Yeah.." He grumbled.

"Then go get it! Sheesh! Chop chop man!"

"It's a good thing your pretty!"

I gave him a cheeky grin, and blew a kiss. He rolled his eyes and left for a moment. The kid beside me looked at me, with a questioning look. I winked at him, and for the first time the kid gave me a small smile.

"He's big, loud, a real shuck face sometimes, can be intimidating. But he's a good guy. "

"I heard that!" Gally called as he lowered a ladder.

"You were supposed to." I turned to the kid again, and waved him up, "Up ya get."

Newt grabbed the kid and helped him up. I scrambled up the ladder behind him, the fresh air was very welcomed. The guys all scrunched their noses.

"That's disgusting." Gally muttered.

"You'll have to get used to it, Gally." I gave him a pointed look, and crossed my arms.

Gally stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me, his hand gently on my stomach. He gave me a rough kiss on my cheek, making me squeal and then giggle, trying to push him away.

"I love you Charlie." He growled in my ear and finally released me.

"I know." I flung my hair over my shoulder, and turned away, waving the kid with me. As I walked away, Gally slapped my ass.

"Dude! Please not in front of us!" Alby groaned.

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I knew the kid was scared and worried, and confused. His head was twisting everywhere. As we left the box, the looks started, the laughing and pointing. I put a protective arm around his shoulders, and glaring at anyone. They knew now not to mess with me, Gally had become fiercely protective. Anyone who was not part of "The Charlie Circle" was a threat, a few kids learnt the hard way. They finally started leaving me alone, most of them didn't know about my situation, but they knew very well that Gally and I were a thing, and he was very aggressive, even if someone looked at me wrong. I gave up trying to stop him and tell him I was a big girl and could fight my own battles.

"Charlie! You're shucken pregnant with my kid! Let me take care of you, woman!" He always said after every argument, and I would cave, he was being really sweet and caring. And it was nice not having sexual comments thrown at me.

"He'll totally be a slopper!"

"Look, I think he klunked his pants!"

"Hahah, he looks like a klunk!"

I steered the kid as fast as I could to the showers.

"How come your the only girl here?" The kid finally asked.

I shrugged, "good question kid. And if you ever find out that answer let me know."

"Okay, here we are. You can use mine, this one time. Newt has gone to get you some clothes. Go clean up and I'll wait here and I'll show you around. Good that?" I smiled down at the kid.

"Okay." He said quietly, looking at his feet.

"Go on." I encouraged him, "You'll feel better."

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Alby tried to do his tour, but he couldn't stand the kid. He was a goofball. Once he was comfortable, he was always cracking jokes and asking questions. I couldn't give the tour, I was busy with the inventory. So Newt took over for Alby. Newt was patient and gentle with the kid. I smiled watching them walk. Newt had thrown his head back laughing, the kids face lit up. His rosy cheeks, big brown doe eyes and curls gave him such an innocent baby look. He reminded me of Fred. My heart squeezed, and it was hard to breath all of a sudden.

All I could think of now, was Fred, being stabbed through the middle. His spray of blood, his screaming cut off. My hands felt numb and cold. My lungs weren't working, I couldn't get enough oxygen, and my head started to feel dizzy. I dropped my notebook and pencil, my hands weren't working anymore either. I saw black spots in my vision.

I watched in horror as Fred's bloody lifeless body picked it's self up from the ground in front of me. It looked the creator in my memories, half dead, drooling black, missing matted hair, black dead eyes, swollen rope veins wrapping around his body. Lurching towards me.

"You didn't do enough Charlie! You didn't do enough!" Fred screamed at me.

I felt myself collapse, but all I could focus on was the monster Fred turned into, because I wasn't fast enough, because I didn't try hard enough, I wasn't good enough. I scrambled backwards, away from the thing that was screaming at me. My heart was beating so hard and fast I'm sure my ribs would crack again. Pain stabbed in my chest, shooting down into my arms and back. My body was betraying me. I was going to die...and that meant baby bean would too! That only made me cry harder, there was no oxygen coming in or out.

Something was grabbing my face. I tried to rip it away. They wouldn't let me go, holding me firmly. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't focus on anything, except how much my body wasn't working, and I wasn't good enough, I couldn't save Fred. That's what will happen to everyone...we will all die if I can't find a way out...but there is no way out. I was going to have a baby in the Glade and then will be killed by a Griever...like Fred.

All oxygen was cut off. Something warm was pressed against me. I froze completely. My eyes went wide. My heart stopped. My lungs stopped. My body went stiff.

Then I melted. My heart started working, it was irregular, but it was working. I pulled away, and gasped. Gally had knelt in front of me, holding my face in his hands, and he had kissed me roughly.

"Breath Charlie. Tell me what you can see."

I just gasped a few times. My eyes flew around.

"What do you see, tell me three things."

"You.." I managed to get out, "grass...trees.."

"Good. What can you hear. Tell me two things, right now Charlie!"

What can I hear?

"Your...your voice. I can hear your voice. And...and hammers..."

"Good Charlie...that's good." He nodded, his eyes never leaving mine, and he wouldn't let my face go, so I was forced to look at him.

"Breath."

I followed his instructions...and very slowly my hands had feeling, and I grabbed onto his shirt, holding it in my fists. I flinched hard, and gasped in pain; I had a sharp stab of pain in my stomach. Gally pulled me closer so I could feel the thump of his heart. It had picked up its pace.

"You scared me, Charlie! What happened?"

What did happen? I don't even know..

"I..I don't even know. The new kid reminds me of...of..Fred...and then I couldn't breath. But then..I saw him, but he looked like the monster in my memories..."

Gally hugged me tighter. A few of the guys around helping with the inventory were standing and staring, watching me fall apart. Right now I didn't care, I would deal with that later, right now my main priority was getting myself under control. Gally slowly unwrapped himself and stood up, he didn't offer his hand he grabbed mine and gently pulled me up. I got up but doubled over.

"Gally..it hurts!" I whimpered.

"Oh shuck!" He swooped me up, and hurried off to Jeff. I just curled into him and whimpered.

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"Everything seems to be okay...Just too much stress, that's my best guess. Sorry I can't be more specific." Jeff finally said leaning back on the table, folding his arms.

Gally sighed in relief. I could see how tense he was, and I saw how hard he was fighting his anger. I could see it flickering in his eyes. He leaned over placing his head in his hands. He was breathing heavily.

"Gally?" I asked hesitantly, placing my hand on his arm.

"I'll leave you two." Jeff said pushing off the table and leaving the room.

"Charlie! You gotta stop! Please! I can't loose you!" He turned towards me, grabbing my arms.

"I'm not going anywhere! And stop what?" I asked, frowning.

"You can't go back out running! No more! Slow down, take care of yourself..and our baby."

"No. I'm going to find a way out. I have to Gally! I refuse to have this kid here. I wont!"

I pulled my arms free standing up. I could feel the cramps, but they had subsided after I calmed down from my panic attack. I refuse to sit aside, we didn't find a way out, but there has to be something we're missing.

"Charlie!" Gally yelled. I saw the anger take over.

"No! You listen!" I yelled back, poking him in the chest.

"I've been living in a living nightmare since I got here. I have broken bones, bleed and gone through the Changing, I've seen my best friend die! I'm now pregnant, and I WILL NOT raise a kid here. You want those shanks around out kid? They can't even handle me, how will they handle a baby? What if we have a daughter? Huh? You want those sick jackasses around her? What about Grievers? We need a babysitter, we call them over? Shuck no! I'm going back out and I'm getting us home!"

I ended up pushing him in the chest a few times, but he was so sturdy it didn't do much. He let me push him, but then grabbed my wrists, holding them tight, pulling me closer.

"What if I refuse to let you?" He growled.

"You don't LET me do anything. I'm a shucken big girl. You'd have to lock me in the slammer." He hissed.

"Oh yeah, good idea? Maybe I should!" He yelled in my face.

"Do it! I dare you! I dare you to lock your pregnant girlfriend in the freezing cold slammer. Maybe I'll get hyperthermia again. And then maybe that would take care of our whole problem here! It would be so convenient. So DO. IT." I spat.

I felt the angry bitter tears fall, I finally voiced the deep dark scary thoughts that had been bouncing around my mind.

"DO IT GALLY!" I screamed, angry tears fell down my face, I felt the heat of anger rising. "I could just fall asleep and freeze to death! It would be so easy!"

Gally froze. His eyes went wide, and he went pale.

"Don't...don't say that!" I heard his voice waver, and felt his body shake.

He sunk to his knees, letting go of my hands, but wrapped them around my waist.

"Please...Charlie I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He hugged my tighter.

"Don't ever say that again! I can't loose you! Please! Charlie, I need you!"

He cried, burying his face into my stomach. I felt the tears making my shirt wet. His big strong shoulders shuttering and shaking. Seeing him break down like this made my own tears come fast and heavy.

"I'm sorry Charlie! Please...please don't say that Charlie!"

With my own tears I sunk to my knees and wrap my arms around him, and we both just cried. All the anger, bitterness, shame, frustration, fear, sorrow, and the deep dark emptiness we both felt.

Life was so complicated right now. And I hated my life.

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**Chuck is here!**

**Omph, took a hard and heavy turn**