(Google your own if you wanna do it guys)

“All good things come to those who wait”

(This is not so much a creative thing; it turned into a personal memoir- cum- journal entry.)

Okay so this one always bothered me. Just because it sort- of worked for me, doesn't mean it's real. I waited for a long time to find Ashley (and I'm bloody glad I did because he's rad). I went through a few IRL relationships and even a few online/ overseas ones (and boy were 90% of them weird). But that doesn't mean for one second the above old wives' tale is real.

I waited for seven fucking years to finally feel comfortable at school. It never happened, by the way; I spent ages 11 to 18 in an absolute shit hole of a school. Hahahahahaha “church of england values” my left arse cheek. It WAS supposed to be a church school and they try so hard to keep up the pretence, but honestly (and from what I've heard of the place since) its students (or at least a large proportion of them) are about as far away from God as they can get.

I mean sure, the one good thing was leaving, so in one way a good thing DID come out of waiting. But shit, son, I left with chronic mental illness and a now inbuilt aversion to and innate fear of educational institutions/ people of authority. By this I don't mean the emergency services; they are incredible. So was my freedom worth it? Not exactly, as I tried out university for a year- for which I am still at a loss of a reason why- which just basically worsened my social and general anxiety. But during that time I did get to talk to and then eventually meet the boy who is now my absolute world.

I still think this statement is bullshit though. I am still waiting for a FUCKING JOB which I have been searching REALLY HARD for while still battling mental illness. It sucks big time. I don't have the money for the things I want. I can't afford to live with Ashley. We can't afford to have a child at the moment despite desperately wanting one. (I personally think it'll make him grow up a bit.)

And the list goes on. I'm still waiting for the things I need the most, but when they come I still won't be agreeing to this old adage. BECAUSE I NEVER GOT TO SEE MY FAVOURITE BAND LIVE AND IT'S SO HARD TO ACCEPT THAT “no my dear, that chapter is done.”

#ForeverWaitingForThatMCRReunion

And by the way, it is not an idea.

I love you Gerard and your face is amazing, but no.

And just think of all the people who have died waiting for things. People during the war. People during famine. Terminally ill people. Fuck you whoever came up with this saying.

And this, my dears, means this chapter is done.