(Mature content ahead.)

Aries: Making out with The Rake.

Taurus: Watching Offenderman tend to his rose garden.

Gemini: Trying to fuse with Kagekao.

Cancer: Playing tea party with Sally and actually enjoying it.

Leo: Watching Offenderman's rape tapes.

Virgo: Bullying Jeff.

Libra: In his study.

Scorpio: Taping up nude pictures of Toby on your wall.

Sagittarius: Stealing all of LJ's dildos.

Capricorn: Trying to drown BEN again.

Aquarius: In the fridge at 4:00 AM.

Pisces: Also bullying Jeff.