My eyes were glued to the screen as the number of likes and comments grew on Ally's post from people I'd considered friends, the same ones raving about what a gorgeous, happy couple Ally and her new fiancé were. I kept waiting for a second update to confirm it was some kind of joke. That she couldn't do what she'd postponed with me with my close friend after only four months. The man who'd reassured me when I was insecure about Ally's happiness, who told me I had nothing to worry about, that she loved me until she suddenly didn't.

How could I be so insignificant that they'd do this to me?

I was a placeholder. A bland appetizer you'd send back to the kitchen. A shirt you donated because it wasn't as fitted and attractive as the others.

I was just the guy to date until someone better came along.

In a world with this many people, this would continue happening.

First, Ally left and found someone else within weeks of our split. Next, I'd driven Sadie away. She probably thought I was pathetic and the more she learned about me, the more that feeling would intensify.

My phone vibrated on the table beside me. I sighed upon spotting my sister's name on the screen. She wouldn't call to rub the news in my face, would she? She had taken Ally's side in the breakup, but she wasn't heartless.

"Hey Fee" I greeted with the energy of a sloth.

"How are you? I imagine you've seen..." Fiona's voice was soft like when we were kids and one of us fell off a bike.

"Yes, I saw it. People are ecstatic for them." More than they ever were for Ally and me.

"You won't see my name on that list."

Her answer ignited a small flame of hope. "Why is that?"

"She only cares about herself. After I spoke to her about the quick engagement and posting it on social media in such a splashy way, she told me it was her life and she would not let you ruin it any further. Really? She couldn't have two drops of compassion that she broke your heart, yet she left the relationship unblemished. I'm sick of her playing the victim, and I'm sorry for believing so many of her lies."

It was nice to have my sister on my side, but it only confirmed my fears that I was worthless to Ally. "Thanks." I picked at the wood on the picnic table. "It's unbelievable she'd hardly considered it with me but will dive in with Patrick."

"Don't let her get to you again, Neil. You deserve better. As for Patrick, his head hasn't been on straight since Ginny dumped him."

"It has to mean something though, right? I'm too much of too many of the wrong things."

"It means you should block her and move on."

"You're sounding like Sadie." A smile tugged at my lips as I said her name.

"Where is she tonight?"

Looking around the site, the only traces of her were the camp chair, her empty plate, and a forgotten water bottle. "I asked her to leave because I'm miserable. I couldn't focus on anything but Ally."

"Neil, what's wrong with you?" Those words ate away at my insides. "Everything you've told me about her makes you two seem perfect for each other."

Perfect was a word for other people, an unattainable goal my relationships would never reach because of my eccentricities. "I could make you a list of my faults."

"Cut the self-loathing, and go find her."

"She went to the market, but that was..." My eyes widened when I glanced at my watch. "two hours ago. If she wanted to deal with me, she'd be back by now. It's not a large market." She hadn't even checked in with a text. That wasn't like her.

"You're making excuses. Do not let Ally's selfish actions ruin what you have with Sadie. I have to go, but call me if you need anything, alright?"

"Thanks." I hung up.

With a few swipes on my phone, I had Ally's page open. She clutched Patrick with one arm and held out a ringed hand. I'd never seen her grin that widely with me. There was a woman who did, and who laughed until she was out of breath, who gazed into my eyes like they were breathtaking, who I'd chased off two hours ago. My index finger hovered over the unfollow button as a tightness grew in my chest. Could I really swipe away someone I'd loved for years? After a deep breath, I clicked to confirm I wanted to remove her from my life.

Back on my newsfeed, Sadie had posted an abseiling photo from Karijini that read 'Do something that terrifies you. Double-check!'.

She'd gone canyoning for me while hating heights and running out of funds with minimal hesitation. Yet I'd all but ignored her during that amazing meal she made just for me even when she told me she liked me. That she wanted to date me regardless of my anxiety over being unexpectedly touched or that I had more uncomfortable surprises. Her words finally sunk in, as did my reactions.

What the hell had I done?

I'd completely screwed up, but she hadn't yelled at me or insulted me. She'd tried to include me then had given me space because she understood me even if I was acting like a jerk. The battery on my phone was quite low, but I sent her a text anyway.

Neil: Sadie, I'm so sorry about earlier. I was a prick, and you were wonderful like you always are. If you're still near the market, can we meet at Staircase to the Moon?

Thanks again for reading! So Neil is finally moving on, but is it too late? Any theories about what's going on with Sadie?

Photo credits: 

Instagram post: Main photo by Cyril Bèle  https://flic.kr/p/35PmHQ , profile picture by Kinga Cichewicz (Downloaded from Unsplash) created using Generate Status website. 

Mood board photos: Top right by helloimNik, Middle left by  Amy Humphries, Middle right by Zach Vessels, Bottom left by Nick Fewings ,and Bottom right by Annie Spratt (all downloaded from Unsplash)