Hey. Sorry that it's been a while since I last updated anything. I'm not going to go into a full explanation, as it would be really long, but I need to be honest with everyone here.

I've been struggling. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. A few months ago, I had a really bad day and was thinking of ways to kill myself. It was in the middle of the night so my parents weren't able to help me. Thankfully I have a homeschooled friend that was up at the time and she talked to me and calmed me down.

But the main reason I'm writing this is because recently, I actually wanted to kill myself. Thankfully I was in the middle of a conversation with one of my friends and I'm with my sister and nephews (who always cheer me up) so I never had the chance. But I have yet to tell my parents about this, though I hope to change that really soon.

I'm really sorry that you all just read that. This isn't a goodbye, this is so you know why I'm not updating. I hope to start writing on a more regular basis soon, hopefully I'll get some answers on my mental health once I've talked to my parents.

One thing I do before saying good night is this. laurendalouu I especially want you to know how much I love you and that you're not only one of my best friends, you're like a little sister to me (though you occasionally feel like an older sister) and one of the few people who come to mind when I think of anything suicidal and remind me that I have so much to live for. Thank you for simply seeing me.