I quickly stopped at Tesco's to get the things on the list before I drove over to the hospital. It was a Saturday, so I had my whole day free to spend with Amanda. Maybe I could go buy us lunch and bring it back? We could have a sort of picnic, though I wasn't exactly sure what vegans ate; I'd have to ask her about it when I arrived.

        I had a quick chat with Willow before I went to Amanda's room, and we were able to arrange a pick up for next Saturday, a week from now. All I needed now was to ask Amanda what time would be easiest for her, and I had a slight spring in my step as I went to go tell her the good news.

        She was sitting in the center of her bed, legs stretched out to accommodate the laptop on them, and the IV line hung uselessly off the side of the pillow. I wondered absently if I should tell her to put it back in, but I knew she would only bite my head off for it.

        Today she had on a blue sweatshirt over a grey top and black skinny jeans.  She looked up as I walked in, and as soon as she recognized me her face spit in a huge grin. "Good day," she greeted, giggling at her own joke.

        I laughed and set down the plastic bag full of stuff next to her. "I think that's my line," I reproached her with a smile, handing back the extra money that was left over from the trip.

        "Thank you," she said, stuffing the money into her back pocket. She placed the laptop down next to her and turned to face me as I sat down. "You're here awfully early today," she observed. 

        I shrugged. "I had the day off," I told her, trying not to sound too eager, "So I thought I'd spend the day with you." I gave her a friendly smile in case she was put off by the comment and I had to cover it up. 

        She blushed and looked down into her lap, giving me the intended reaction. "That's very kind of you," she smiled, looking up at me through her lashes for a moment and then returning her gaze downward.

        I paused for a moment to appreciate the beauty of her blush and how delicately her curls framed her face. "Speaking of kind..." I trailed, making her raise her head again, "I hear I'm taking you home next week..." I gave her a sly smile and her eyes lit up as soon as I said it.

        "Really?" she asked, jumping up, "When?"

        "Next Saturday," I announced, also standing, "You just let me know what time."

        She gasped and threw her arms around my middle, pulling me into a hug. She giggled and thanked me over and over again, showing the largest amount of emotion I had seen out of her yet.

        I laughed and wrapped my arms around her small frame, returning the small gesture. As soon as I did, however, there was a shift in the mood; it was almost tangible in the hospital room. Amanda didn't let go, which I saw as a good sign, and we stayed like that for moments before she moved again. She took a step closer, now pressing our whole bodies together, instead of just our arms and chest as they had been before. Simultaneously, she brought her arms up to cradle my back, one hand grabbing my shoulder to lock us together while the other curled against my spine. I could feel a fluttering against my chest, but it was yet to be determined if it was my heart or hers that had caused it; perhaps it was both.

        "Thank you Ross Hornby," she said, turning her head so that her forehead was against my neck and her hair ticked my ear and jawline. I could tell that her gratitude wasn't just for the ride back to her uni next Saturday. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms tighter around her shoulders, trying to bring her closer to me, if it was even possible. I closed my eyes, trying to memorize every sensation of this embrace that only happened in the span of a few moments, and would be over in a couple more. Everywhere her body touched mine hummed with electricity, and the heat coming off her skin was inviting and comforting.

        As I predicted, she pulled away after that, quiet and serious once again. The space that once held a warm body was now filled with a rush of cold air, and with it brought the scent of antiseptics and cleaning products. I gave a slight sigh, letting go of the breath I didn't know I was holding. Who knew something simple like a hug could be so intimate and satisfying.

        She returned to her seat on the bed behind her, yet she still held one of my hands in both of hers. Sitting back down in the chair wasn't an option, for I was reluctant to take my hand away from her, so I spun and sat down next to her instead.

        My heart was racing from both the hug and the lingering touch, yet Amanda seemed calm with the entire thing, like we had done it a thousand times before. I'd have to get used to that; she never seemed to regret or feel nervous over her actions, and I revered her for it, because I was pretty freaked out at the moment.

        She absently ran a thumb up and down the side of my pointer finger, and I wondered if she knew what it was doing to me. "Did you talk to Lewis yet?" she asked, still looking down at the hand that rested in hers.

        I winced. "Uh, no... I haven't," I told her truthfully, "I was going to wait for you to come with me..." I had just made the lie up, but it seemed like a good plan once it left my mouth.

        She accepted it. "Alright, then we can go next week," she stated simply.

        I was nervous. I knew she probably wouldn't get the job, and that means that she might move back to the states. I was already bristling at the idea of loosing her, which meant I would probably have to do some groveling to Lewis...

----------------------------------------

        "And spinach has almost no flavor, so it can easily be masked by the fruit," Amanda continued, telling me all about making smoothies.

        We spent the morning like we had last night, talking about anything that would come to us and seguing off onto different tangents when the conversation slowed. I had returned to my chair once I had gotten back from the drinking fountain, and now I sat back and happily listened to her ramble on about blenders and juicers and things of that nature.

        She finished with a smile and I checked my watch; it was 1:37, and I was about to suggest the picnic idea when we heard a commotion coming from the propped open doorway. Both of us stared as we heard pounding foot steps and one of the nurses call out about running in the hallway. I expected a gurney or a doctor or a panicked loved one to flash by the room, since this was a hospital after all.

        I was partly right. A man about my age slid past the door, only to grab the frame and right himself when he saw us. He looked familiar, and Amanda must have recognized him as well, for she jumped up the minute she noticed him. He ran into the room, completely ignoring me as he enveloped Amanda into a hug, picking her up off the ground. She had a shocked expression on her face, and quickly stammered, "N.. Nick Valentine... what are you..."

        He cut her off, "Jesus Amanda, what happened to you? As soon as I got you're message I got on the first flight out here..." He placed her back on her feet, but gripped her arms tightly.

        I suddenly realized where I had recognized him from. He looked different than the last time I met him at Rezzed, but his familiar voice, iconic tattoos, and haughty demeanor confirmed my suspicions. He continued to ignore me, shaking Amanda around like a rag doll with his muscular arms.

        "I... I'm fine," she stuttered, still in shock.

        Nick forced out a breath that must have constituted as a surprised laugh. "You can't just say you're fine after waking up out of a coma!" he scoffed. "I was so worried! I thought I did something wrong or you were mad at me or something terribly had happened..." he stammered quickly, trailing off as he ran out of things to say.

        Amanda just stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. She opened her mouth to say, "I... I'm..." she raised a hand as if to distance herself from him.

        My heart rose up into my throat as he cut her off again. He griped her wrist with one hand and cupped the back of her neck with the other, bringing her into a frantic kiss. She continued to stand there motionless, but I turned away from watching her, not caring what she did.

        Of course they were together.

        Why wouldn't they be. Almost every girl pined over him; he was incredibly attractive and could set off a fan girl with just one look. I could never compete with someone like that, and they had a long history together as well.

        She broke away, a stunned expression crossing over her face. Her head snapped towards me, looking to gauge my reaction. I jumped up out of my chair, feeling awkward. "I'm... gonna go," I told her, giving them some privacy as well as hiding the fact that my heart was shattering into a million pieces... again. Nick seemed to notice me for the first time, and Amanda used the distraction to break out of his grip.

        "Don't go," she said feebly, but I was already out the door.

        "Ross Hornby," I heard her call, her voice higher in pitch now. I ignored her, she had Nick to comfort her now.

        I couldn't take these fluctuating emotions anymore. One day I was completely in love with her, and the next she was breaking my heart again. My head was swimming with muddled thoughts and confusion, and yet again I wondered why I bothered myself with all of it. My life was perfectly normal and I was happy before she came into my life, and now I'm broken and hurting without anyone there for comfort.

        I was so stupid... so naive. This time I wasn't going to crawl back to her like a pathetic looser.