"Arranged marriage?" Zuko shivered. "We're kids! Why is he worrying about that sort of thing now?"
Zuko stood behind his sister peeking through the curtains to the throne room. Azula had known important people were meeting her father, and much to Zuko's prodding, invited him to eavesdrop with her. She now regretted the decision. Rule one of snooping was keep quiet until your snooping was over.
With a frown on her small features, she clutched Zuko's sleeve and jerked him away from their hiding spot. It wasn't until they were a safe distance away from the throne room that she chastised him. "You don't talk when you're eavesdropping. You're lucky father didn't hear you!"
"You don't even know what arranged marriage is. Of course you aren't alarmed," Zuko replied, crossing his arms.
"It's arranged. It's a marriage. What else is there to know?" Azula asked, arching a sarcastic brow. "Maybe you'll meet the girl of your dreams."
"It never works that way," Zuko sighed. "Now come on. Let's get out of here and look like we're doing something productive before father gets aggravated."
"This was productive," Azula countered, grudgingly stomping after her brother.
"Children!" A sharp voice called down the hall. Azula remained calm but Zuko froze like a deer in headlights. Had they been caught?
"What is it?" Azula snapped, turning to eye the servant wearily.
"Your father requests your presence. He wants you to meet some important people soon to join the court," The servant explained, bowing slightly to the royal siblings.
"Alright," Azula nodded, moving quickly to enter the throne room at the proper entrance. Zuko caught up with a few large strides and matched his sister's pace. "You need to learn to act like you haven't done anything wrong. It's a good skill to have. If you don't act guilty they'll never suspect anything to begin with."
"Noted," Zuko mumbled, as the two stepped into the throne room for a second time.
"Zuko. Azula." Ozai acknowledged his children with little more than a nod. "Come."
Azula was the first to move and she walked as straight and poised as ever. Zuko was certain every part of her was spic and span and perfectly in place. He, on the other hand, had rumpled clothes, a slight forward tilt to his shoulders, and a hesitation in his stride. The contrast between them was exceedingly evident when together.
"This is a friend of mine. He will be moving into the court and the advisor's quarters with his family. This is his daughter," Ozai gestured towards a tall, thin, and very pale dark haired girl.
"Thank you Firelord," the man gave a low bow before settling his hands on his daughter's shoulders. "This is Mai. She's around your age and I believe you will get along famously."
Zuko regarded the girl with care. She was almost as put together as Azula, but her aura gave more away than Azula's did. She didn't want to be there, didn't want the attention, and was more inclined to have gone unnoticed. Zuko understood that feeling.
"This gentleman," Ozai gestured to another man, "will be part of our staff. He specializes in entertainment and will be head of event hosting. His family will also be staying here in the servant's quarters. That... is one of his daughters."
Zuko found it somewhat appalling that his father would refer to another child as a "that" but he was more affronted by the bright pink attire. In fact, the two girls were almost as opposite as Zuko was with Azula.
The pink girl had long hair carefully braided, she too was rather lanky but she seemed stronger, and while Mai wanted to remain hidden, it seemed this other girl didn't mind being the center of attention. Funnily enough, the pink was much more distracting than Zuko thought because it had captured Azula's attention too. Frankly, she'd never seen anyone wear that much pink before. Her nose wrinkled in mild distaste, but she got the sense that this pink girl enjoyed mischief as much as she did.
"This is Ty Lee," the man spoke softly, keeping his hands at his sides. It seemed like he was unsure how to act.
"As nice as it is to meet new people," Azula began, shifting her focus back to Ozai, "may I ask why this is such a critically important meeting?"
"Mmm," Ozai smirked. "I figured you would ask such a thing. I was planning on waiting to tell you, at least for some time, but why not clear the air now. Yes?"
The Firelord looked to the two other adults in the room as if searching for signs of protest. Neither moved nor said anything.
"Father-" Zuko started but he was promptly ignored.
"I've brought both families here not simply for skill but to assist in piecing your futures together. To ensure that my rule, our rule, isn't tainted through the touches of time. Which leads me to the key fact at hand. Both of you will have a marriage I approve of. To ensure that I went ahead and selected the individual for you." Ozai placed his hands in his lap though his fingers met to form a little tent. Zuko's stomach turned with anxiety and disgust. "Zuko, your betrothed is Ty Lee."
Despite himself, Zuko physically recoiled. It wasn't that Ty Lee wasn't pretty, she was, but this was all so strange. For a moment he almost wanted to switch places with Mai. After a painful moment of silence he choked out, "As you wish."
"That leaves you Mai," Ozai noted, giving Azula a pointed look. She remained silent and gave a curt nod. "Now, off you all go. The adults have more to discuss."
Mai was given a shove from her father though her heels were planted firmly in the ground. Her eyes held a vibrant fury but she remained quiet. Meanwhile, gestures and rapid whispers were shared between Ty Lee and her father. After the man's expression shifted into one of desperate anger, his daughter shrunk back and became strangely submissive. She sulked to join the fire nation siblings as did Mai.
"Where to first?" Zuko asked, quick to say something lest they be trapped in a permanent awkward silence.
"I was thinking we could find the secret tunnels," Azula suggested, eyes sparkling with excitement.
"You know we can't go in those!" Zuko hissed.
"Why? What's in them?" Ty Lee asked, hesitantly joining the conversation. As soon as she'd asked the question Zuko gave an anxious grunt. He'd be hard pressed now to get Azula to change her mind. Not when she could show someone the tunnels instead of explaining them.
"Well, I've never been in them so I don't know. That's why they're secret, but I know where an entrance is," Azula smirked.
"Why don't we just find a nice place to relax? Like the gardens," Zuko worried.
"Don't be a worrier," Azula scolded, punching his arm lightly.
"I wouldn't mind the garden," Mai rasped, eyes trained on the wall behind Zuko and Azula.
"Fine. We'll go to the garden. Sheesh! No one likes adventure," Azula growled, eyeing her brother with distaste. Out of her peripheral she noticed Ty Lee's excitement visibly fade. At least someone else had been on board with her plan.
Following Zuko out to the gardens, Ty Lee was the first to depart from the group. Her quick separation surprised Azula but she tried to ignore it. She didn't need to care about what Ty Lee was doing.
"It's bright," Mai noted.
"There's always shade," Zuko promised, gesturing to a large and heavy branched tree.
"Good," Azula agreed, "today is the sort of day sunburns happen."
"Hmm," Mai mused, her lips twitching into a faint smile.
"So," Zuko sighed, walking slowly to the shade, "what sorts of questions do you have? My sister and I can answer them all."
"I don't have any," Mai mumbled. She sat stiffly on the edge of a planter box.
"That's hard to believe," Azula snorted. She'd already sized up the other girl. Mai was keen on keeping quiet because that was what her parents wanted. She wouldn't make herself into a fool.
"I have a question!"
Azula jumped and spun about, fists ignited, searching for the owner of the voice. Zuko's laughter drew her attention to the tree where Ty Lee hung upside down.
"What're you doing?" Azula frowned.
"Hanging. Now, if we're supposed to stay here does that mean we follow your schedule or do we get our own?" Ty Lee asked, looking at each of them in turn. Mai's eyes glinted with humor. She quite liked the pink acrobat.
"Don't be stupid, you can't bend. You wouldn't take part in my training. You'll have your own little list of things to do," Azula assured, lowering her hands and regaining her composure.
"Oh. Okay," Ty Lee grinned, flipping back up into the tree and vanishing.
Azula stared after her trying to catch a glimpse of her pink clothes. She didn't like people who could disappear so easily. Zuko, on the other hand, found the acrobat less interesting. He was used to tricks like that from Azula.
"Don't worry, she can't go far," Mai assured.
"I know," Azula replied, "but now I'm curious. How does someone like her lean to disappear like that?"
— — —
"It's been nearly two months," Zuko sighed, flopping onto his bed. "What does father expect to happen so soon? I barely even know her! It's ridiculous."
"Then get to know her dum dum," Azula scolded.
"It's not that easy. She's so-you know-and I'm so...me."
"It's not like you're getting married. You have time. Stop being dramatic," Azula frowned, getting fed up by his whining.
"Well what do you know about her?" Zuko demanded, sitting upright.
"Her family owned a circus. That's how she learned to vanish. She has a large amount of siblings. Her father is in charge of their estate. What else do you need to know?" The fire princess arched a cocky brow. "Really, you just have to talk to people. Especially with her. Once she starts she doesn't shut up."
"What about Mai?" Zuko asked.
"She's harder. You have to pry her open," Azula admitted, "I can't say I like it. It's not bothersome in the fact I can't read her, it's bothersome because she isn't even trying to throw me off. She's just that reclusive. She's been trained to be that way."
"I'd rather have someone quiet than someone who talks my ear off. I barely handle my own thoughts on a regular basis," Zuko sighed. He stared up at his bedroom ceiling in contemplation before relaxing. "You know what? Who cares. You're right, there's plenty of time to figure things out. No need to rush it in a day."
"See? Now you understand," Azula smiled, patting her brother on the leg. "Now, are you coming to the secret tunnels or not?"
"Is that today?"
"Yep. We all talked about it. Remember?" Azula asked, knocking him on the head with her knuckles.
"Ow, and yes. Now I do. But what if we get caught?"
"We won't," Azula smirked.
— — —
"Mai, it's dark and creepy like you. Isn't it lovely?" Ty Lee asked, skipping down the cob web filled tunnel.
"Thank you," Mai sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. The air was frigid.
"Are you cold?" Zuko asked.
"I'm fine," Mai lied.
But as a shiver ran down her spine, Zuko produced a small flame and held it close to her. She didn't acknowledge the gesture but he saw a small softening in her features. Meanwhile, Azula marched ahead with a flash of pink following close behind. "Azula is always too fast. She never enjoys anything."
"It's a creepy tunnel, what is there to enjoy?" Mai asked, her brow arching with the question.
"Good point," Zuko smiled, "but I meant in general. She's pestered me about this for weeks and yet she's rushing through it."
"Some people don't like to go slow. It gives them too much time to think," Mai shrugged.
"Is that why you take your time? You like thinking?" Zuko wondered.
"No. But I like observing," Mai conceded.
"Really? What'd you observe about me?" Zuko asked.
"You don't like attention, you don't like pressure, and you don't like people who talk a lot," Mai noted. Even as she spoke she studied Zuko carefully as if she were acquiring new details.
"You're right about all those things," Zuko sighed, "which is why dad hates me."
"If it makes you feel better, I don't hate you."
"Thanks Mai," Zuko smiled faintly, "that means a lot."
"Wow!" A gasp echoed down the corridor and after sharing a look, both Mai and Zuko picked up the pace. Rounding the bend they found Azula and Ty Lee gaping at a series of bronze statues. "Who are they?"
"Firelords," Azula sputtered, "but I don't know all of them. These look really old."
"Why would people put history in a secret tunnel?" Ty Lee asked.
"Maybe people don't want to remember these guys," Zuko suggested. He watched nervously as Azula brushed off dust clinging to a placard at the statue's feet. "Can you read it?"
"No," Azula shook her head, "it's damaged. Almost like someone tried to chisel it away."
Ty Lee opened her mouth to ask another question when dust began to fall from the ceiling. Someone was heading their way. Eyes dilating in fear, the group took off at a run to escape the tunnels undetected.
Stumbling out into the open, Azula was quick to duck behind a short wall. Peeking out in curiosity, Azula snatched Ty Lee as she sought a place to hide and drug her over the top of the wall. "Shh. Don't speak."
The acrobat nodded in understanding, and the two girls flattened themselves against the ground. Azula wasn't sure where Zuko and Mai had gotten off to but she didn't dare ask Ty Lee.
"I could have sworn it was opened," stammered a nervous voice.
"Well, I don't see any issue here," came the gruff reply. "Don't make me leave my post again for something you think you saw."
"I saw it. Honest!" The protest was a squeaky beg. It made Azula frown in distaste, but she listened carefully for the footsteps to recede. Once gone, she sat upright letting out a sharp breath.
"That was wild!" Ty Lee grinned.
"It was, wasn't it?" Azula asked. "Now, come on. We should find my brother."
"Thanks for helping me hide. I'd be dead meat if it wasn't for you." Ty Lee breathed, taking Azula's hands and tugging her into a hug. The princess stiffened like a rod before managing to relax ever so slightly.
"Yeah. Whatever."
— — —
Though they escaped the situation unnoticed, and would continue to run amuck for the following four years, the group of kids had completely forgotten about the purpose of their friendships. In fact, it was easy to. Ever since that fateful day Ozai neglected to mention the arranged marriages again. Of course, it was in the dark dusty boxes of each kid's mind but they never dwelled on the idea.
"Hold still," Azula chastised, standing behind Ty Lee and braiding her hair.
"But they're having so much fun!" The acrobat protested.
"Do you have any idea how tangled your hair will be if you go swimming without it being braided? I'm not about to help you comb it for hours after this," Azula huffed, finishing the last few criss-crosses of the braid and tying it in place. "There."
"Yes!" Without waiting a second, Ty Lee scampered off to join Zuko and Mai in the beach's surf. Azula, however, was less keen on spending her time in the water. She hated the feeling of wet sand sticking to her skin. As long as she stayed dry it wouldn't be an issue. Besides, she could afford to sit and relax for once. Training was only getting harder and with it she found herself increasingly tired.
"It's cold!" Zuko squealed, leaping about in the water as Mai and Ty Lee dumped a bucket of ocean water on his head. Sure, they were probably too old to be acting like a bunch of toddlers seeing the ocean for the first time, but that didn't bother Zuko one bit. As far as he was concerned he wasn't a teenager yet which still made him a kid-and kids were allowed to have fun whenever they wanted.
"It's not that cold," Ty Lee smirked, only to be splashed in return. "Ew, salty."
"Alright, I've had my fun," Mai sighed. "I'm going to sit in the shade."
"Probably a good idea," Zuko agreed, "you burn easy."
"Remember that one time you looked like-" Ty Lee started but couldn't finish her sentence she was laughing too hard.
"Ha Ha. Laugh it up. You have no idea how painful that was. I had blisters," Mai scowled. With a roll of the eyes, she tromped up the sand to plop down beside Azula. "Having fun?"
"Watching you torment my brother? Yes," Azula nodded.
"He's easy to get a reaction out of," Mai agreed.
"I found that out at a young age," Azula smirked.
"So, how is school?" Mai asked, drying her hair with care.
"Boring, unchallenging, a waste of time," the princess huffed.
"And Ty Lee?" Mai wondered. She and Zuko were in the same grade being slightly older than either Azula or Ty Lee which left Mai in the dark as to how her friends were doing.
"She's...struggling," Azula admitted. "She doesn't take well to others."
"That's a surprise." Mai's eyes widened in mild alarm. "I would have thought she'd be quite popular."
"They find her annoying and dumb."
"You don't?"
"She's manageable," Azula shrugged, "and I do my best to tutor her when I can. School just doesn't entertain her. What about you?"
"Eh, it is what it is. I manage," Mai smiled faintly, "but it's nice knowing she has someone she can count on."
"Tell me, did you two know each other before we all met?" Azula wondered.
"I'd seen her. We went to prep school together. You know, school before real school where they try to get toddlers ready for the real world."
"Ah," Azula nodded, "I was fortunate enough to avoid that."
"Part of me wishes I had," Mai snorted.
With that, a somewhat comfortable silence settled between the two as they watched Zuko and Ty Lee muck about. The prince and acrobat seemed to be having a genuinely good time and it was almost worth the heat of the day just to watch them find joy in something so simple. Still, in the back of Mai's mind it all seemed wrong. She knew she should feel more comfortable with the princess than she did, but there was something between the two of them that prevented more than a friendly bond. It was almost like neither of them wanted anything different than just that: a companion. To Mai it made sense. She didn't understand how they would be compatible to begin with. Azula was so commanding, headstrong, vocal, and intimidating. Everything Mai didn't want to be. She was an observer, stubborn sure, but only when need be and she never invited unnecessary attention into her life. But with Azula there was always unnecessary attention. People knew who she was, and if the public wasn't watching her it was some servant or crony of her father's. Mai didn't like that and Azula knew it. There was more comfort in spending time with Zuko, a more mild mannered, level headed, quiet, and passive version of his sister. Sure, they had their similarities but his shared traits were much less aggressive.
"You know," Azula cleared her throat, "sometimes I'm a bit jealous of you."
"Wh-why?" Mai stammered. The princess' admission had caught her off guard.
"There's something about my brother that changes when he's with you. He's never shown much of himself to me, his real identity, and I never knew why until now," Azula explained with care. "You don't demand anything of him like I do. I always expect certain things he's not capable of or unwilling to do. I guess that's why he never really smiled when we played together. He never had any fun."
Once more silence followed their conversation. Mai wanted to say something to console the princess, anything really, but she wasn't sure what was worth saying. "I'm sure he had fun."
"Maybe," Azula sighed, sprawling out in the sand and closing her eyes. She remained still and quiet for a long time. Mai didn't bother her. The only reason Azula even stirred was because someone flung drops of water onto her. She sat up in a quiet fury only to watch as Zuko chased the acrobat around in a stupid game of tag that sent sand and water flying. "Ugh. Brothers."
— — —
In fact, it wasn't until their early teenage years that things seemed to change again. They still adored each other's company but times had pulled them in opposite directions. Zuko was only getting closer to adulthood and Azula was still lagging behind as the 'kid' sister. It infuriated her. She knew he would eventually try to distinguish himself from her but Azula didn't expect it to happen so soon.
"You okay?" Ty Lee asked, knocking lightly on the princess' door. "The party isn't over yet."
"I honestly could give a flying bison's ass about his birthday party," Azula laughed. "I've been to enough of them to know what will happen."
"What do you mean?" The acrobat frowned, hesitantly stepping into the princess' room. She'd watched Azula slowly slip out unnoticed from the scene. It wasn't like the princess to avoid her duties. She was his sister after all, and it was expected that she attend.
"He always gets birthday parties," Azula explained impatiently.
"You don't?" Ty Lee asked.
"My last one was five years ago. Father says they're a waste of time. He says Zuko can afford to waste time." With a sigh, Azula sat up in her bed and studied her friend. "Don't give me that pitying expression."
"I'm not, I just know what it's like...that's all. I have a big family. Sometimes they forget but it's nice when they remember," Ty Lee smiled kindly, rubbing nervously at the back of her neck. She hadn't expected Azula to be so open with her. "If it makes you feel better I saved up your gifts from the past five years. I didn't remember what day your birthday was on and since there was no celebration I didn't know when to give them to you."
Ty Lee's little revelation was enough to make Azula's stomach coil. Why on earth had she bothered with such a thing? And why had she kept the gifts all these years? "I don't need presents. I live in a palace."
"Yeah, but sometimes it's nice getting presents," Ty Lee muttered, "it means someone actually cared. You know? But I don't have to give them to-"
"It's alright," Azula sighed, knowing that she was being insensitive.
"Okay," Ty Lee grinned, seeming to recover from Azula's previous callousness. "Wait here!"
The acrobat was gone in a flash of pink only to return a short while later holding a small wooden box. She held it out like a bashful child giving their mother a gift on Mother's Day. Azula took it with a nod of thanks and hesitantly investigated the contents. It was clear to see that some of the gifts were older than others. They were less mature, like the sun painted stone that sat at the bottom weighing the box down. But there were other things too, a small pink charm, a delicate hair pin, a tiny historical figurine, the remnants of a sand dollar, and lastly a polishing kit.
"Did you make most of these?" Azula asked, examining the painted stone.
"Others I found," Ty Lee nodded. "I remembered that old board game of war heroes we all played. How Zuko lost your favorite figurine. I managed to find one just like it."
Azula's gaze shifted to the little man and his pedestal. She'd nearly forgotten about that game. "Well, thank you. I appreciate it."
"Yeah...no worries," Ty Lee smiled, "and if you don't want them I can always take them back. Some of those are from when we were younger. They seem kind of silly now though."
"It's alright," Azula promised, carefully setting the lid back on the box. "I like them."
"Perfect!" Ty Lee clapped, "I was pretty nervous you wouldn't. But I'm glad. An-anyways, I'm going to go back out there-"
"That's probably a good idea," Azula encouraged, "it would look weird if my brother's betrothed was no where to be found."
"Right," Ty Lee nodded, but Azula noticed her stifled wince.
"Listen," the princess sighed, "I'm sorry my father dragged you into this. He shouldn't have but-"
"He's Firelord. No isn't an option," the acrobat shrugged, but her eyes were sad. "See you around 'Zula."
"Wait-" the princess stammered, drawing the acrobat's attention once more. "When-when is your birthday?"
A soft smile graced Ty Lee's face, "Don't worry about it."
Before Azula could say anything else she was gone. That evening an odd feeling settled in her stomach. One she couldn't shake.
— — —
"Why do you spend so much time sulking now a days?" Zuko asked, nudging his sister lightly. She'd been in a mood the past two months ever since Zuko's party. He'd asked if the party was the cause of her irritation, but Azula insisted it wasn't. Sure, he knew she wasn't treated with cakes or celebrations and that it was a sore spot in their relationship, but she'd never been this upset about it before. "Seriously Azula, I can throw you a party next year if you wan-"
"It's not about a stupid party!" She snapped, her voice loud enough to send a few birds from the trees. She'd been outside in the dark corner of the courtyard nearly all day.
"Then what is it?" Zuko asked gently, not thrown off by her tone of voice.
"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Azula glowered.
"Maybe I could get Mai-"
"Mai won't help. She and I-we don't do that. Okay? We don't cross certain lines. She has her walls and I have mine. We leave each other alone." With every word Azula's voice grew firmer but it also grew tight. She was struggling to contain her emotions. Such a sight was rare.
"Sorry," Zuko's shoulders fell, "I didn't mean to upset you."
"Just leave me alone. Please."
A soft sigh escaped the eldest royal before he hesitantly left her to brood. He worried about her, mostly when she was alone, but if she didn't want him around he couldn't stay. That would only make Azula hate him. But as he walked away an idea occurred to him. Maybe Mai didn't cross certain lines or test certain walls, but a pink acrobat always did. She had a way of wearing people down.
"Ty Lee?" Zuko asked, knocking lightly on her door. It opened swiftly to reveal her expectant face. "Can you do me a favor?"
"Of course," She smiled.
"Can you keep an eye on my sister? She won't talk to me but somethings gotten under her skin," Zuko worried. "I thought maybe she'd be okay talking to Mai because they're so similar you know? And the whole...marriage thing-but she hated the suggestion."
"I'll see what I can do, but I make no promises mister," Ty Lee poked him in the chest drawing out a small smile in return.
"You're the best," Zuko laughed.
"I know," the acrobat smirked, abandoning her room and setting off to find the princess. As suspected, well, by anyone really, Azula was exactly where Zuko had left her.
Ty Lee pretended not to see her at first. She managed to clamber into the nearby tree and scamper about for a moment before tumbling out and landing lithely in front of the princess. "Oh. Sorry, I didn't see you."
It was a lie, of course, but apparently a good one because Azula didn't call her out on it. That, or whatever had hurt Azula's feelings was enough to let the lie slide. "You-you okay?"
"I'm fine. I just wanted some time alone," Azula replied, telling a half truth.
"Oh, okay," Ty Lee nodded, sitting down beside her.
"Don't you know what wanting to be alone means?" Azula glared, drawing her knees to her chest.
"Yeah, but sometimes a person can be alone even when they're surrounded by other people," Ty Lee sighed, resting her head back against the wall. "Somehow it's almost lonelier that way."
"You talk like you understand."
"I have a big family, remember? I'm always alone," Ty Lee smiled sadly.
"Can I ask you something?" Azula tore her eyes away from the ground to study the acrobat.
"Sure."
"Did your parents want you?"
The question caught Ty Lee off guard. She sat in silence for a moment before coming up with the best answer she could, "I don't know. I guess I've always assumed that since they haven't found a way to get rid of me...they must want me."
"Yeah," Azula snorted, "I used to think that too."
"What do you mean?" Ty Lee frowned. She watched as Azula picked up a stick and broke it into numerous pieces.
"Sometimes I get bored and I eavesdrop on things I shouldn't, and I guess I finally got what I deserved for it," the princess croaked, no longer able to keep her voice in check. "I always thought my dad was proud of me. That for once I was someone's favorite, and as cruel as it sounds that I was better than Zuko. I was proud of that. Being better than him, because father always said Zuko was lucky to be born and that I was born lucky."
"It's okay to want to be better than your siblings," Ty Lee assured.
"But I didn't know what he meant until today. Being born lucky, I mean. He was talking to someone-I couldn't tell who-and it was about me." Azula continued as if she hadn't heard Ty Lee to begin with. "He said that when I was born he was appalled. That it was almost worse than Zuko. Which doesn't sound bad, but you wouldn't know that he wanted to chuck Zuko over the balcony railing."
"Why was he so appalled?"
The question caused Azula to shift uncomfortably. Despite knowing each other for years, Ty Lee didn't know. Azula had made sure of it. She didn't want anyone to know. "I'm not normal, Ty Lee. Okay? I wasn't born like every other girl. Like you. I'm not...perfect."
"But you're the most perfect, beautiful, smart, and intimidating person I've ever met!" Ty Lee protested.
"Maybe you're right," Azula shrugged, "but maybe you're not."
"Come on, it can't be that bad. What is it? A birthmark on your butt cheek? My uncle has one shaped like fish," the acrobat giggled.
"I have boy parts," Azula whispered. It was impossibly quiet and impossibly loud.
"What?" Ty Lee asked again, her laughter cut short.
"I'm a girl but I have boy parts. Like Zuko," Azula replied, her eyes glistening with tears. "My dad didn't want me because of that but he waited to see how I turned out. Once he realized I was good at bending he only wanted me so I could make sure the family had heirs that weren't weaklings like Zuko. Otherwise, he said he'd have gotten rid of me quicker than he'd contemplated getting rid of Zuko."
"I-I am so sorry," Ty Lee stammered. She wasn't too sure what to say. Let alone what to do, but when Azula began to cry and her face scrunched up in anger, the acrobat realized just how bad things were.
"I hate that I'm crying. I'm not supposed to cry," Azula growled, wiping furiously at her eyes.
"Everyone cries," Ty Lee promised.
"I don't!" Azula choked out. Before she could say anything else, Ty Lee pulled her into a tight hug and refused to let go.
"I won't tell anyone. Not even Zuko." The words were somehow more comforting than they should have been, and Azula found herself sobbing into the acrobat's shoulder. "And I don't think you're strange 'Zula. No one is. Everyone's a person one way or another. It's not like you had a say in how you were made. Zuko didn't, I didn't, that man in the village who has eleven toes instead of ten didn't. So nothings gonna make me grossed out by you. Besides, I've seen my uncle's butt cheek birthmark. Now, that is gross."
A small quiver of a laugh shook Azula's shoulders. She hated this stupid pink girl with all of her heart but she couldn't manage to pull away from the embrace. It was safe somehow, and it'd been a long time since Azula felt safe.
— — —
After that day when Azula cried ever so secretly, Zuko noticed a change in his sister and his friends. There was some unspoken agreement amongst the girls that he wasn't privy to. It bothered him, but he never dwelled on it too long. Besides, he was playing Pai Sho with Mai. While he would most certainly lose, he found her company delightful. She was calming, grounding, and her concentration was quite amusing.
"I can feel you staring," she noted, making her move.
"Sorry," Zuko looked away bashfully. "You just make this face when concentrating. It's funny...in a good way."
"Thank you," Mai rasped, a hint of amusement tinging her voice.
"You ever play Pai Sho with Azula?" Zuko asked.
"No."
"She's really good. She'd be more of a challenge than I am," Zuko laughed.
"I don't want a challenge," Mai frowned, "sometimes it's more fun playing with someone who doesn't always want to win."
"Are you calling me a loser?" Zuko smirked.
"No," Mai shook her head, "I'm saying you're more compatible with my playing style. It's casual, not cut throat competition."
"I get the impression you and my sister don't get along?"
"No, we do," Mai assured, "she's fun in a way and we have similar interests but-"
"You're too similar," Zuko concluded. Mai gave a silent nod. "Do you love her?"
The question was one Mai had expected for some time now but she still wasn't sure how to answer. "Yes, as a friend or a sister. I care for her and her well being, but as anything more? No. Though your father may wish it, and I can't say no to the arrangements already made, my future isn't one I look forward to with joy."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"What about you though?" Mai asked, sparing him a hesitant look. "Do you love Ty Lee?"
"No, she's like another little sister to me," Zuko admitted.
"Am I?"
"No," the prince smiled, "I can promise you that."
His move cost him the game, but Mai's smile was worth it. He found he enjoyed it more than most other people's because it was so rare, and because he was the cause of it.
"You're staring again," Mai remarked, giving him a dry look but her eyes betrayed her.
"I can't help it," Zuko snorted. "You're pretty."
— — —
In the following three years, Zuko entered the middle to latter part of his teenage years and things were more confusing now than they ever were before. He found himself spending more and more time with Mai, nearly forgetting about his sister or Ty Lee. It was like all notions of eventual marriage had been forgotten, he was simply living in the moment. But Azula saw, and Azula knew, and Azula worried.
Zuko wasn't careful. He never was. If their father ever cared to pay attention he'd know that Zuko was screwing up his plans as Firelord. There was a fear in that idea that gnawed at her stomach. It was this fear that seemed to grow and manifest itself into other things as well, because Zuko could afford to do things in plain sight. Father never paid attention to him. But she could barely escape his watchful gaze. There were nights she lost sleep over it and nights she spent in the bathroom sick with worry.
"You're thin," Ty Lee noticed, having entered the princess' room as she got ready for bed. "Have you been eating?"
"Yes," Azula replied, pulling her hair back.
"Have you been sleeping?"
"Yes."
"Don't lie," Ty Lee sighed. You can't get rid of the dark circles under your eyes. You may be a princess but you aren't magic."
"Why are you worrying so much?" Azula frowned.
"Because while Zuko chases after Mai like a sick puppy he's stopped paying attention to you," Ty Lee crossed her arm, "and someone has to pay attention to you, to remind you to pay attention to yourself."
"There isn't anything you could do," Azula grumbled. She didn't like being babied.
"How so?"
With an aggravated huff, Azula explained all she could about her plight as quickly as possible. "You can't fix me."
"Maybe not, but would it make you feel better if I stayed here tonight?" Ty Lee asked. "If I'm here when you wake up and not fried to death then your father wasn't watching you while you sleep."
"That's not comforting," Azula noted.
"You get the point," Ty Lee sighed.
"Fine, you can stay but I doubt it'll do anything," the princess shrugged, crawling into bed and rolling onto her side so Ty Lee saw nothing but her back.
"Maybe not," Ty Lee admitted, "but there's no harm in trying."
As it turned out, it was good Ty Lee had stayed. Azula woke in a cold sweat, frantic, confused, and alarmed. A storm had started outside and the lightening startled her awake, but wasn't the lightning that frightened her. It was the thunder that followed.
"Just a storm," Azula mumbled, mentally chastising herself, but her reaction to the thunder had stirred Ty Lee awake from her seat.
"Is it the lightning?" The acrobat asked, giving a weary look to the flashes taking place outside the window. However, as another flash came a booming echo followed that sent a shiver down the princess' spine. "You don't like the thunder..."
Azula said nothing. Witnessing the fear flash in Azula's eyes like lightning itself, Ty Lee stood and drew the curtains closed as tightly as she could. Though that wouldn't block out the sound it would ease the princess' anxiety if she couldn't see the lightning. Then, without necessarily asking for permission, Ty Lee hesitantly clambered into the open space of bed beside Azula.
"I can sleep on my own. I'm not a child," she whispered, but there was little venom in her voice. Ty Lee acknowledged her words with a simple nod before nestling into the covers. Though Azula tried to resist sleep's growing demand, she couldn't outlast the storm. With a pained sigh she settled down beside the acrobat. But with every clap of thunder she gave a flinch and a shiver. It wasn't until an arm gently settled over her that Azula felt grounded. There was someone else there and it was comforting.
In fact, Azula couldn't remember when she'd fallen asleep, only that she had, and when she woke she was painfully aware of soft kisses of air ghosting across her neck. Ty Lee was nestled snuggling into her side, head tucked away in her shoulder, face hidden against her neck, and arms wrapped loosely about the princess.
Under normal circumstances Azula would have been appalled, but there was something almost natural in their situation so she remained still. Golden eyes watched the rise and fall of Ty Lee's ribs, the occasional hitch in her breath sent goosebumps racing down Azula's arms, and the flutter of her eyelashes tickled at the princess' skin.
Of course, there was no telling how much time had passed since Azula had been awake, but it was almost a pity when Ty Lee finally stirred. She peeled herself away from the princess and groggily rubbed at her eyes. "Morning."
"Good Morning," Azula replied, still studying her friend.
"Sorry for latching onto you. I've always been a cuddler," Ty Lee explained, looking away bashfully.
"It was comforting," Azula admitted. "Thank you for staying."
"Any time. Just ask," Ty Lee smiled, getting to her feet and stretching. The acrobat's pajamas left her muscled shoulders exposed, and Azula found herself mildly impressed. She couldn't remember ever noticing how strong Ty Lee was. In truth, she'd never bothered to pay close attention to the details of the acrobat until now. Perhaps because she'd never had the opportunity to. "See you around 'Zula."
— — —
Though she tried to keep from developing a habit, Azula found herself waking up with Ty Lee snuggled up next to her almost every night for the following months. There was something reassuring about it, a constant in her devolving life.
With each passing day she grew older and the expectations on her shoulders only worsened. There was too much time to think about too many things, and too little time to find comfort amidst it all.
What was worse, Zuko was becoming more reckless. He always had been but now he wasn't even making an effort to put on a facade in public. He wasn't even trying to appear remotely interested in Ty Lee more than if she were another younger sibling. At least Azula understood the game they had to play. She was careful not to make any errors, but her brother may as well have sold her out too with his actions. It wasn't hard to tell that people were beginning to suspect things. But try as she might there was no convincing him to be cautious.
"At least try to play the part," Azula frowned, keeping pace with her brother as he ventured out to the turtle duck pond.
"What for? It's gross. She's like a little sister," Zuko argued, already tearing apart the piece of bread he held.
"It doesn't matter. Don't think of it that way," Azula protested.
"Not everyone can be as detached as you," Zuko countered. He watched her visibly recoil in his peripheral. "Sorry...I didn't mean that."
"I'm only detached when I have to be," the princess mumbled. "And I understand your frustration. You're not the only one involved in this. I'm trying to help you."
"How can you help? Have you ever even had feelings for someone?" Zuko asked, stopping to look at his sister. Her eyes were downcast, her lips drawn into a tight thin line, and her shoulders were held in a defensive posture. "Oh Sozin, I can't believe it. You like her."
"It's confusing, but that's not the point-"
"What do you mean it's not the point?" Zuko laughed, "you can't chastise me when you're doing the same thing I am. Is that why she's always in your room?"
"No. I'm not-we aren't doing anything! Would you just shut up for one second?" Azula cried, fists clenching until her knuckles turned white.
"Come on Azula, you don't have to lie-"
"I'm not lying." Her hands gripped the front of his shirt and for a moment Zuko looked afraid. "I don't do that. You're as bad as father. I'm not some...some freak okay? I'm never going to do that. Ever. I'm not some sort of breeder!"
"I just thought-"
"Maybe you should stop thinking and start feeling," Azula hissed, letting him go with a firm shove. "You used to be good at that."
Zuko stood in silence watching his sister march off back towards the palace. He straightened his clothes with shaking hands and turned back to the pond just ahead. He fed the turtle ducks with little more enthusiasm than if he were having to take cough medicine.
In truth, it frightened him that Azula was so repulsed by physical affection. He didn't understand it. What was worse, it was a self inflicted sort of pain, but there was little he could do to help. She'd have to realize on her own that being human, being someone who actually craved touch, was okay.
It was a hard lesson for Azula to learn. She hadn't quite noticed the way Ty Lee's hand would brush hers if they were walking beside one another, or how they constantly seemed to bump elbows, and more importantly that it was all on purpose. To her, it was nothing but little accidents, but the gestures carried over to when they were alone and while she wasn't uncomfortable per se, she was alarmed. Mostly because she didn't mind when Ty Lee's fingers skimmed over hers or when she seemed to linger in a hug a little too long. It was welcomed even, but Azula found herself hating those parts of her that adored it. To the point where it became nauseating and strenuous.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize something was wrong. Ty Lee tried on numerous occasions to coax the information out of Azula but it wasn't until weeks had passed that the princess finally explained her affliction, and the acrobat couldn't help but feel sad for the princess.
"I didn't know I was causing you pain," Ty Lee worried.
"No, it's not you. I just-I can't explain it very well. But I hate myself. I hate who I am," Azula frowned.
"Do you really? Or do you hate yourself because of what others say you are?" Once again, Azula was reminded how wise Ty Lee was. "The truth is, they aren't going to know you. They have assumptions about everyone and everything so why would it be different for the princess? Even your father has his own image of who you are but it's not accurate or fair. The only one who gets to decide those sorts of things is you. You get to be who you want not what they want you to be."
"It doesn't feel like that," Azula admitted.
"It won't. I don't know if it ever will, but when you're with me it's okay. I wouldn't hurt you. If you want to cry you can and if you want to laugh you can. It's just Azula here, not princess, not heir, not prodigy. Got it?" Ty Lee asked, lightly tapping Azula on the nose.
"Got it," the princess laughed, bowing her head as a light blush decorated her cheeks.
"Good," Ty Lee grinned, cupping Azula's face in her hands to shower it with light kisses like she did when holding adorably animals. "Don't forget it."
"Uhm...I've never, Ive never been kissed like that. I've never actually been kissed," Azula stammered.
"Shame."
"What do you mean?"
"You're quiet adorable," Ty Lee shrugged, "someone would be dumb if they didn't want to kiss you."
"Do you?"
"Definitely."
"I see," Azula nodded, feeling her cheeks warm with blush once more. "You can if you want. I wouldn't mind."
"Don't sound so afraid," the acrobat joked, "what's the worst you could do?"
"Burn your lips off."
"Oookay," Ty Lee snorted, "let's not do that."
Before Azula could utter an apology, the acrobat's lips were flush against hers. They were gentle, warm, and submissive. It occurred to Azula after an agonizing second that Ty Lee was giving her control over the situation. Azula only wished the acrobat knew how much that meant to her.
— — —
Unfortunately first kisses lead to an onslaught of new feelings and emotions. Ones that were hard to suppress but Azula managed. Oh she managed quite well actually. But there were times she had to catch herself. For instance, days at the beach meant she couldn't stare too long, she couldn't show too much interest, or too much curiosity in the acrobat lest it draw attention. Only it was hard, and dare she say difficult.
There were times when the sun kissed the acrobat's skin and sent shadows dancing adorably across her features. There were times she was enthralled by simple things that made her bounce up and down with joy like a child. Even worse were the times Azula saw others staring too.
"It's hard isn't it?" Mai asked, sitting next to Azula like they had so long ago.
"Mm," the princess nodded.
"You manage well," Mai complimented, "your brother could try harder."
"I've told him," Azula sighed. "He won't listen."
"He grows frustrated when I tell him to stay away," Mai admitted, "but there's people watching. I can feel it."
"In the palace?" Azula worried.
"Yes," Mai nodded, eyeing Zuko from a distance as he made an effort to peel the starfish off of his chest that Ty Lee had jokingly stuck to him. "It's not safe like it used to be."
"I thought I was losing my mind," Azula sighed in relief.
"No," Mai smiled faintly, "but if it weren't for us they'd be dead. Being observant is a necessity now a days."
"Agreed," the princess snorted, "but I'll do my best to look out for you."
"Thank you," Mai smiled a little wider. It was surprising but she hugged the princess tightly. "That means a lot. You are a good friend you know."
"Eh, don't push your luck," Azula warned, but the threat was without venom. "You still owe me."
"For what?" Mai scoffed.
"Did I not tell you what Zuko wanted for his birthday?"
"Fair point but he refused to say. He said 'I don't want anything' which is a complete lie," Mai frowned.
"He's always been that way. Get used to it," Azula smirked, giving her brother a sarcastic wave as he rubbed his chest. Suction marks stood out in bright red contrast against his pale skin. The sight was funny enough to send Ty Lee to the sand with laughter.
"Surprised he didn't lose a nipple," Mai murmured, and despite herself Azula laughed. The thought was simply too absurd.
From afar, everything looked normal, it was all as Ozai should expect, but the group of four was just managing to keep their secrets hidden and their act together. It was dangerous and they all knew it, but they were too far along in the charade to go back now.
It only worsened, as usual, when an event took place back at the palace nearly a month later. The festivities were to celebrate Zuko's eventual coming of age but it proved taxing on them all. The only plus side was Mai getting to 'dance' with Azula and avoid Zuko's constant toe stepping.
Truthfully, though, neither Azula nor Mai were really dancing so much as making small talk. It was clear neither wanted to be there but unlike their respective partner's they at least acted enthused.
"Be glad my brother isn't here," Azula mumbled, "he's a lost cause with dancing."
"It's the only positive of this experience," Mai joked, sparing Zuko a glance as he tried to concentrate on not murdering Ty Lee's feet. "Do you know how long this is supposed to last?"
"No idea, but hopefully it ends soon," Azula sighed, trying to distract herself. She caught sight of the acrobat having convinced Zuko to take a break as she limped away from the crowd. "I'll be back."
Mai gave a curt nod, following the princess with her eyes before looking elsewhere. She didn't want to appear overly invested in the situation. It would draw unwanted attention.
"I hate this," Ty Lee hissed, tugging off her shoes as she rounded a corner.
"Did he step on your feet?" Azula asked, sparing a glance over her shoulder. No one was there to pay any attention.
"Well, if I don't have broken toes, my heels are blistered, and this stupid outfit is entirely too restricting," the acrobat worried at her collar. "I can't-I can't breathe."
"Let me see," Azula sighed. She studied the outfit for a moment before drawing a thin blade from her armored cuff.
"You carry a knife?"
"Of course," Azula frowned, as if everyone ought to carry a blade to parties. "Now hold still."
Ty Lee did as she was told while Azula worked away at her collar seam with the knife. After a few hesitant cuts, the fabric loosened and Azula managed to tear it free from the rest of the outfit. With a normal neckline instead of a suffocating high collar, the acrobat already seemed to relax.
"Thank you."
"I'm not done. Sit and let me see your feet," Azula ordered. Plopping onto the floor, Ty Lee watched Azula crouch before her and inspect her wounded heels. "Shoes."
Ty Lee passed them over without comment and Azula set to work with her blade once more. She cut a small slit into the back of each. It was barely noticeable but when Ty Lee placed them back on her feet they were much more flexible in the back.
"You're the best!" She grinned, throwing her arms about the princess' neck and planting a firm kiss on her lips.
"Ty Lee," Azula hissed, pushing her back. "Not now."
"Right, sorry," the acrobat nodded. "I'll see you later right?"
"Mm," Azula nodded.
With a small bounce to her step, Ty Lee made her way back to the party and suffered the rest of the evening with Zuko. When Azula found Mai again the normally stone faced girl gave her a questioning look. "Is she okay?"
"Blistered heels," Azula informed, briefly flashing her knife, "I...made some outfit changes."
"I knew you learned something from me," Mai grinned, "always have a knife."
"What can I say? I was young and impressionable," Azula mused, tucking the weapon back into the armored cuff of her shirt sleeve.
— — —
"Knock knock," Ty Lee whispered, slipping into Azula's room to find her peering out of the window at the moon. "It's pretty isn't it?"
"I can't actually remember the last time I paid attention to the full moon," Azula remarked. "It's much bigger than I remember."
"When I was little I used to greet the stars every night," Ty Lee laughed, moving to stand next to the princess. "It was kind of dumb, but I was naive."
"I don't think it's dumb," Azula replied, looking at the girl beside her. She was somehow prettier in the moonlight.
"You're sweet," Ty Lee snickered, resting her head on Azula's shoulder. "I knew I liked you for a reason."
"Hmm," Azula smiled faintly, turning to plant a light kiss against Ty Lee's forehead. "You're probably the only person who knows me."
"That's because you let me."
"Because I trust you," Azula insisted. "I don't trust easily. Not even my brother sometimes."
"I know," Ty Lee sighed. "And I'm grateful."
"Are you spending the night?" Azula asked, changing the discussion from a less sullen topic.
"Only if you want me to," the acrobat smiled.
"Please?"
"Of course," Ty Lee nodded.
"Have you washed up yet?" Azula asked.
"No, I wanted to say goodnight first, but since I'm staying I guess that's not a priority." Ty Lee distracted herself for a moment by playing with Azula's fingers, pressing them like keys to a piano.
"Well, I don't know if anything I have will fit you but you can use the washroom and I'll see if I can find something," the princess promised.
"Sounds like a plan," Ty Lee winked, turning about on her heel and heading to the adjoining room. At the sound of running water, Azula attempted to scrounge up a set of pajamas. She hoped they weren't uncomfortable. Ty Lee had been uncomfortable enough during the party for both of them.
At last, the door eased open and Azula found herself staring at the floor and shifting from foot to foot. Whether Ty Lee was covered or not didn't matter-Azula felt wrong even for being in the same room while the acrobat dressed.
"You don't have to be so bashful," Ty Lee laughed, skipping over to the princess and jokingly squishing her face. "I'm not gonna smite you."
"I respect your privacy. That's all," Azula mumbled, carefully pulling Ty Lee's hands away from her face.
"Sorry," the acrobat apologized quickly, "I was teasing. It's sweet of you, really, it is. No one ever really cares enough to consider my own feelings. Whenever we go to the beach-"
"People stare, I know," Azula sighed. "I wish I could make them look away."
"Then why do you look away?" Ty Lee asked. The question was one that caught Azula off guard.
"Because I have a conscience that tells me its wrong to covet someone else's body with my eyes," came the anxious reply.
"'Zula, you're the only one allowed to. The only one I want to, anyways." Ty Lee bit her lip nervously. "But that's getting into separate territory."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. It's not something worth bringing up," the acrobat smiled, planting a kiss on Azula's cheek. She spun about and finished getting ready before plopping into Azula's bed with a content sigh.
Wearing a bemused smile, however small it was, Azula joined her. Nearly as soon as she got comfortable, Ty Lee pressed herself close to Azula. They lay in silence for a long while until the princess began to trace shapes with her fingertips across the acrobat's leg. In fact, Ty Lee practically clung to her like a koala. Arms and legs alike were wrapped about Azula.
It wasn't until the third or fourth pattern that Azula noticed a violent shiver traverse the acrobat's body. Out of mild curiosity she did the same shape as before and received the same reaction.
"'Zula...be careful with that. Please?" Ty Lee asked, her voice somewhat small.
"What is it?" The princess asked, letting her hand still and simply move to settle against the acrobat's waist. Her thumb ghosted gently over a sharp hip bone and for a moment Ty Lee tensed.
"You're so naive it's endearing," Ty Lee laughed faintly, settling a hand over her face.
"And you're covered in bumps," Azula teased, noticing the goosebumps that had slowly arisen on Ty Lee's skin.
"You're insufferable."
"I know." Frowning, the acrobat pulled Azula into a firm kiss and when the princess didn't pull away she only deepened it. A small laugh escaped Azula's lips as Ty Lee pulled back with a huff. "Is that all?"
"Yes," came the tense reply.
"Doesn't sound like it."
"If I did nothing more you'd be unhappy," Ty Lee sighed, rolling onto her side.
"What do you mean? You couldn't make me unhappy," Azula insisted, gently coaxing the acrobat to look at her. "If I've upset you it wasn't my intention."
"I-I don't want to just kiss you," Ty Lee mumbled, feeling foolish for having to explain herself, "I want to hold you, and not worry about stepping over any lines, and I want to wake up in the morning with just the two of us all bundled up in the covers. I want all of you not just some of you but I know it's unfair to ask that."
"You wouldn't look at me the same," Azula whispered, her eyes full of a soft fear. "No one would."
"But you're wrong," Ty Lee insisted, "there's nothing about you that I would love any less than the rest of you I've already seen. You don't have to hide from me. I could never hate you, or be disgusted, or disturbed, or whatever it is that you're afraid I might feel."
"How do I know that?"
"You said you trusted me. Then trust me." Ty Lee's eyes were pleading but they met resistance. "I don't even care if anything happens. I just want to see you. The real you. And if I have to wait that's okay but I can't hold these thoughts and feelings in forever."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know, but I can't-" Azula shook her head. "Not yet."
"Then will you look at me instead? All of me? Without being ashamed about it?" The acrobat asked.
And as much as Azula wanted to say 'no', she couldn't. She'd wanted the chance to see every inch of the acrobat for a long time. To see the full detail of her muscles, or the small lines of her ribs, and even the slant of her hips when bare. But it was scary all the same. It's why she forced herself to look away.
"Yes." It was one word but it was perhaps the hardest one she'd ever had to say. With an understanding nod, Ty Lee shimmied out of the borrowed clothes. All the while Azula found herself-for once- incapable of looking away. Her heart was racing along with her mind as a little voice in her head chastised her for staring.
Then, all of a sudden, Ty Lee was undressed, sitting cross legged in bed perfectly content with being completely exposed. She wasn't bothered at all by the golden eyes trying hard not to look away. "You're okay, I promise. Just relax."
With a small nod, Azula took a deep breath and felt her heartbeat slow. She was okay. It was all okay. And despite herself she finally took in all there was to see. The gentle slope of sturdy shoulders, the slight edge of a collarbone, the faint shadow of muscles along her upper arms, or the way her ribs expanded with each breath pressing against pale skin, the small scrunch of skin about the stomach from sitting, and the slight curve of the hips. It was all beautiful, nothing seemed out of place or imperfect, and for a moment Azula forgot how to breathe. "You're-you're perfect."
"No," Ty Lee blushed, shaking her head, "I'm not. At least I don't think so."
"Well, I say you are," Azula insisted, albeit breathlessly.
"That's the problem. Don't you see? You're no different than I am. You don't think there's much beauty in your appearance because you don't see yourself the way I see you. But I don't see myself the way you see me."
Azula contemplated the acrobat's words for a moment and in a burst of confidence and passion she began to undress too. Ty Lee gave a small protest but Azula ignored it. It was now or never and she wasn't about to live the rest of her life afraid of someone seeing her for who she really was.
With shaking hands, she discarded the rest of her clothes and copied Ty Lee's cross legged position. "Do you see what my father saw?"
The question sounded harsh, but Azula needed to know. She needed to know that Ty Lee wasn't appalled. That Ty Lee didn't want to throw her away.
"No," the acrobat shook her head as if clearing her mind.
"Don't say that to make me feel better-"
"You're beautiful," Ty Lee smiled, her cheeks only worsening in their blush.
Azula blinked in wonder. The acrobat had spoken with such awe and sincerity she couldn't even pretend it was a lie.
"How?" The question was almost pitiful.
"You're strong, you can tell by the shape of your shoulders, and the way your arms rest at your sides. You're sharp angles in some places and gentle slopes in others. It's a perfect contrast," Ty Lee smiled, "and maybe your face is kind of pretty."
The joke was dumb but it was enough to make Azula laugh. "So you're not..."
"No," Ty Lee promised, "never."
In that moment Azula seemed almost lighter, like a weight had literally been lifted off of her shoulders, and she found herself crying much to her own surprise. "Sorry, I don't mean to be crying-"
"Shh, it's okay," Ty Lee assured, laying down as she had before and drawing Azula close. "You can cry."
And Azula did. She hadn't felt so vulnerable in a long time, but it was okay. It was okay to be vulnerable with Ty Lee. She was safe.
— — —
"You idiot!" Azula cried, fists smoking as she stormed up to her brother in the courtyard. "I told you! I told you to be careful!"
"What are you talking about? Calm down," Zuko worried, taking a few hesitant steps back.
"Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down?!" Azula growled.
"At least tell me why you're going to kill me," Zuko panicked.
"Someone saw you with Mai. Not just walking around like friends. They saw you acting like a love struck puppy showering her with affection!" Azula's voice was nearly a snarl.
"It's not a big deal-"
"Father knows, Zuko." At the words of his sister, Zuko paled drastically. "Because of you, he wants me to marry Mai as soon as possible. And you know what else? He wants me to sleep with her! So he can have heirs!"
"No, no, no, this is all wrong," Zuko choked. His throat had gone dry. "I was careful. There was no one around. I swear."
"I don't give a flying bison's ass if you thought you were alone. Do you have any idea what this has done? For me?" Azula asked.
"For you? What about Mai?" Zuko asked.
"Shut up about Mai! For five seconds think of someone other than her. Gods...I could kill you I swear." Azula paced about in rage. She was so angry that even her shoes were beginning to smolder.
"Listen, I'm sorry, but there has to be a way-"
"There is no way out of this Zuko. None! Don't you get it? You're off clean like always and I'm not." If Azula had it in her, and her anger hadn't turned to despair, she'd have shaken him by the shoulders until he had whiplash. "I don't get choices. I never have. I had something good for once in my life and it's gone."
"You would have had to marry eventually," Zuko stammered.
"But he knows now. We can't pull anymore wool over his eyes. There was at least a chance to make things work despite the arrangements but that's gone now and it's because of you," Azula breathed. Her throat was tight with emotion and before she could hear another word from Zuko she left, and if the palace hadn't felt like a prison before it did now.
Rushing through the halls, she managed to slip out one of the back gates and set off down the road to the city. She needed to get away. She couldn't handle being in that empty place. So Azula walked, and she walked for a long time until the sun had begun to settle on the horizon and she'd stumbled upon a secluded lake.
For once she was alone, completely and totally alone. Slumping over onto the damp ground she closed her eyes. The soft breeze, the sound of the leaves to nearby trees, and the feeling of a nightly chill settling in managed to take her mind away from the impending doom she felt inside.
She wasn't sure how long she'd stayed like that but eventually Azula turned her attention to the lake. It was tempting, but not in a good way. Though it's pull was too much to resist and after a brief moment of contemplation she entered the water, disregarding the fact that she was still dressed. It was cold, as the sun had finally gone to sleep, but the numbness was almost a relief. In fact, she contemplated swimming out to the deepest part and sinking to the bottom. Maybe then things would be easier. But before she could invest too much into the idea, the sound of feet on soft ground alerted her of someone else though she recognized those footsteps anywhere. Even the frantic splashing of water was only fitting for the acrobat who trudged out to where Azula stood and enveloped her in a relieved hug.
"How did you know I was here?" Azula asked, her voice fainter than the breeze.
"I heard you yelling at Zuko. I wanted to see if you were okay when I saw you slip out the back of the palace. It took me a while but I got here," the acrobat panted, still out of breath from her travels. "You were so upset, I worried you were going to do something-"
"I wanted to," Azula admitted. "Why do you think I'm all the way out here?"
"Don't talk like that, please," Ty Lee begged. Her breath made small clouds in the cold air. "I can't lose you."
"You'll have to. Zuko-" Azula couldn't finish. Her expression was one of such pain and conflict it broke Ty Lee's heart. "I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him hurt like I am. I don't want to go back. I can't-I can't do it. I thought I could. But I was young and stupid and I'm not that strong."
"It's okay," Ty Lee promised, resting her forehead against Azula's. She was well aware of the fact that her feet had lost all feeling, but somehow that didn't matter. "We don't have to."
"I'm the princess. I have responsibilities," Azula frowned.
"Maybe, but you don't have to go back tonight. Or tomorrow. As long as they don't know we're here nothing can happen," the acrobat smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.
"If you think my father won't burn down the entire kingdom just to find me you're wrong. And when he does he will kill you without hesitation," Azula insisted. Her eyes were dark and her expression serious. As much as Ty Lee wanted to believe Azula was wrong, she couldn't.
"But I can't-I can't pretend that I don't care about you. I can't pretend that I love Zuko. I'm not good at lying Azula. If I go back-" Ty Lee was cut short by a firm kiss.
"You will be fine. You will be seen as nothing more than an unfortunate victim in the game. I'll make sure of it. No one will hurt you," Azula promised.
"But that doesn't change this," the acrobat croaked. "I don't care if they hate me. I just want you."
"I know," Azula smiled sadly, "and I am so sorry you can't."
"Tomorrow-"
"Tomorrow you need to be strong and pretend that everything we ever said, did, or even thought doesn't exist," Azula instructed, aware of Ty Lee's shivering from the cold.
"There's still tonight," the acrobat reminded. "I don't want to think about tomorrow until the sun comes up."
"Okay," Azula nodded, drawing her lover close. "I won't mention it."
"Thank you," Ty Lee sniffled, hiding her face in the princess' neck. The two lingered for a moment until Ty Lee's teeth began to chatter. Without saying a word, Azula picked the acrobat up and headed for the band of dry land about the lake. Ty Lee latched onto her like a child.
As Azula made her way onto the soft layer of gravel she gently coaxed the acrobat down. Ty Lee's small noise of protest was cut short by a gentle kiss and a surprisingly warm hand settling on her cheek. Despite herself, she leaned into the touch.
"Don't cry," Azula whispered against her lips. "I don't want that to be our last moment together. Okay?"
"Okay," Ty Lee nodded, finding those reassuring gold eyes and in them a tender fire of love and affection.
It seemed that some unspoken agreement passed between them, and Ty Lee found Azula's lips once more. They were soft as always, and the princess' kiss was strong. There was no more hesitation in it. Not like there used to be when her lips would tremble and her kisses were softer than a touch of butterfly wings.
Yet shaking arms wrapped about a slender torso and the princess held her acrobat close finding the pressure of another body against hers comforting. Despite her best efforts, Azula couldn't help but recall all the times the person she was holding had grounded her in times of weightless despair. Now, she was doing it again. A selfless body with a selfish captor keeping it close.
Breaking away for a brief breath of air, Azula was caught by an open mouthed kiss from Ty Lee. Warm breaths mixed together in the cold air making puffs of mist dance about in the night sky.
Calloused hands settled upon warm cheeks drawing out another lengthy kiss while slender hands gripped the fabric of royal clothes. A shiver passed through the acrobat as a soft breeze reminded her of the cold water still damp on her skin and clothes, though she ignored the violence of the wilderness around her to capture the soft pale skin of Azula's neck.
Lips still parted from the remnants of a kiss, the princess let her eyes close and her head fall slightly forward as the acrobat traversed her skin settling briefly at a pulse point. With a shaky breath, Azula caught hold of her lover's chin and angled Ty Lee's lips back to meet hers. The kiss was far less elegant than before, it was hurried, and Azula found herself succumbing to the urgency of the night.
The princess' mouth fell upon a sharp collar bone in one fell swoop sending goosebumps across Ty Lee's arms. Whispers of breath danced over her cool skin creating an oddly intoxicating sensation. While Azula remained preoccupied, Ty Lee collected some of her senses to momentarily catch hold of Azula's hand and unfasten the wrist guard. It clattered to the ground closely followed by its counterpart. Then, as the princess paused, nose hovering by a shoulder where she'd haphazardly tugged down the collar of Ty Lee's shirt, the acrobat stripped away the armor settled atop Azula's shoulders.
As the garment fell, the princess seemed to grow lighter despite its weight being quite small. Ty Lee always wondered if Azula felt trapped in there, and it appeared she was right. The princess had lived most of her life horribly restricted even down to her attire.
But the acrobat's thoughts were smothered as fingertips trailed delicately across the exposed section of her back. They slipped over the ridges of her spine to nestle beneath a pink shirt where short nails dug slightly between two flexible shoulders.
In turn, Ty Lee let her hands wander back to Azula's top where she fumbled with the fastenings until they gave way. Taking the hint as cold air brushed over her torso, the princess shed her top but she didn't toss it aside. Instead she sprawled it out across the thin layer of gravel, and in one motion captured the acrobat by the waist and settled her atop the garment.
A soft laugh fell from Ty Lee's lips but she was more than happy at the gesture because having Azula so close left no more room for the cold. Tilting her head slightly to the side, Ty Lee's gaze wandered over Azula's bare torso before she found herself looking back into those captivating eyes. They were curious, wild like, uncertain, but gentle all at the same time.
Sparing the princess a small smile, Ty Lee wriggled free of her own top earning a breathy laugh from Azula. A lopsided smile flashed across the acrobat's face for mere seconds before she was leaving a trail of hot kisses across Azula's shoulder. In turn, Azula let her hands wander. Her palms skimmed over a strong stomach feeling the muscles move beneath her touch, to travel the tiny valleys of Ty Lee's ribs, and finally settle upon tender flesh that momentarily broke the acrobat's assault.
When Azula paused, Ty Lee gently grasped her wrist applying slight pressure. The gesture was reassuring enough for Azula to remain where she was, making careful work of the acrobat's chest. On occasion, a breathy sigh would brush against her ear and the arch of a back would bring the acrobat ever closer.
Nails biting into the bandages that still lingered on Azula's chest, Ty Lee tried her best to tear them away. After a moment of struggling, Azula sat back on her heels and slowly stripped them away mildly aware of half lidded eyes drinking in her appearance.
As soon as Azula moved to settled back atop the acrobat, warm kisses decorated her chest sending rods of fire down her spine. A sharp hiss of air passed through clenched teeth as Ty Lee gained confidence and with it her intensity of affection increased.
Shifting slightly beneath the princess, Ty Lee settled her heels against the ground and propped herself up onto an elbow for better leverage at kissing the princess. However brief it was, Azula faltered, becoming aware of the sturdy leg nestled between hers. The pressure, the contact, and the warmth was enough to send new signals of strange pleasure to her brain. She'd never experienced something so intense come from something so insignificant.
Then, as the acrobat surged upwards to wrap both arms snuggly about Azula, the princess couldn't contain the purr like noise that resonated from her throat as she settled firmly against the acrobat. As if it was her plan all along, Ty Lee smiled cheekily as her hands tucked loose strands of hair behind Azula's ears.
Breathing deeply, Azula moved in to eliminate the cheeky smile with a rough kiss. Her teeth scraped against soft lips and her tongue entered into the fray. However, as the acrobat's hands gripped sharp hips Azula's brain gave in to a sudden urge that enveloped her like a tidal wave.
A hesitant shift of the hips lead to a steady rhythm that only worsened the fire in her body rather than easing it. Eventually, the motion became unbearable. There was something about it that was entirely too pleasing and aggravating. As if there was something more that could be done.
And as if sensing the dilemma within Azula's brilliant mind, Ty Lee withdrew her leg much to Azula's distaste. But without much of an apology, the acrobat abandoned the remnants of her clothing. A hungry stare tracked her movements but even when she settled down again, Azula remained still until Ty Lee have a gentle tug at Azula's waist band.
"Are you sure?" Azula asked, expression impossibly vulnerable. She'd sworn to never do this with anyone, had hated the idea for so long, but somehow it seemed right in this moment-but she needed to be sure.
"Yes," Ty Lee nodded, "are you?"
"Only because it's you," Azula admitted, feeling her throat tighten. "It could only ever be you."
Despite the heat of the moment, Ty Lee planted a few sweet and chaste kisses to the princess' lips. "Your heart is so beautiful when you wear it on your sleeve."
"I wish it could stay that way," Azula smiled sadly, but before she could ruin the moment, she stood and discarded the remnants of her clothes too.
For once in her life, Azula didn't feel so ashamed of herself anymore, and when she felt the comforting warmth of the acrobat's skin against hers all of her worries suddenly vanished. Giving fair warning, Azula settled her hands ever so gently upon slender hips and eased into the acrobat with surprising self control because after the first two seconds her body was screaming at her to forget herself.
A hiss of breath slipped through Ty Lee's teeth, and she tensed for impossibly long.
"I'm sorry," Azula whispered, pressing a light kiss to the acrobat's furrowed brow.
"Don't be," Ty Lee shook her head, slowly relaxing with a prolonged sigh. "I'm okay."
"Are you sure?" Azula worried.
"Yeah," Ty Lee promised, giving a small smile as her arms wrapped lightly about the princess. With a nod, Azula let herself relax too, and she gave a hesitant roll of the hips. Though Ty Lee squirmed ever so slightly in discomfort she gave no protests, and after the fifth or sixth time it began to feel natural and Azula found herself lost forever in the moment.
She was aware of nails biting into the skin between her shoulder blades, aware of the soft whispers of her name or other words she didn't care to process, and the red lips that left a trail of electricity wherever they went. But most surprising for Azula was how intoxicating each roll of the hips was. The sensation of being so close to someone, the feeling of friction on her skin, and the gentle pressure around her which seemed to grow with each movement of the hips made the surrounding world vanish in its entirety, and all the while she found it impossible to understand how she'd managed to go her whole life until now without ever experiencing something so mind numbing.
But each time Azula thought she'd figured things out, thought that was the best it could get, she found something new. Going fast then slow was somehow pleasurable enough to send a violent shiver down her spine, or how small movements interrupted by larger ones could make her momentarily forget how to breath. It was an interesting game of confusion, pleasure, and curiosity.
Then, perhaps, most startling was the sensation of the acrobat's walls fluttering against her. Part of her subconscious leapt in a frenzy at the new information and despite herself, Azula didn't hold back on anything anymore. She was aware of her own movements but it was oddly a detached experience. Like she couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to, because suddenly, arms were wrapped tightly about her shoulders, a face was hidden in her neck, a back arched, legs tightened around her waist, and the acrobat was trembling from head to toe against her.
For a brief moment, Azula wanted to comfort her but the feeling of pressure in her stomach was becoming insufferable, and though she was aware of Ty Lee's plight she found herself surging forward almost desperately until at last something seemed to snap and the fire within her was gone.
It was almost like seeing white in that moment, the way lightning radiated through her veins, and her body trembled with such relief and pleasure she could barely keep from collapsing. Sucking in sharp breathes, the princess' senses slowly returned as she came down from whatever high she'd just experienced with a few slow, timid thrusts. Meanwhile, Ty Lee remained tense but only for a moment more. She gave in with a sigh and seemingly fell apart in a moment of exhaustion and tired limbs.
A soft moan fell upon Azula's shoulder as she nestled her face further into he princess' neck. Silence fell between them for some time before Ty Lee managed to look sleepily at the princess. "I love you."
"I love you too," Azula smiled faintly, letting her fingers fall gently upon tender lips where Ty Lee captured her hand to press a kiss against her palm.
— — —
Azula woke to the feeling of the sun igniting her veins. It was morning, but it was a special kind of morning because Ty Lee was still there, tangled up with her, eyes closed, chest slowly rising and falling in a moment of peace. But Azula could feel the dread setting in already. As much as she didn't want to wake the acrobat she knew it was a necessity.
Stirring Ty Lee from her sleep, she was greeted by a soft kiss that nearly missed her lips. For a moment, Azula felt like her heart would shatter. She wanted the sleepy girl with every fiber of her being whether it be intimately, emotionally, or physically. Yet the words she didn't want to say tumbled free, "You should go."
"Just a moment more," Ty Lee mumbled, drawing in a sharp breath and with it Azula's scent.
"You can't afford it," Azula warned, but as she spoke she stroked soft hair in the morning light knowing it very well could be the last time she ever got to. "You return home and I will be there a handful of hours later. Tell them you heard Zuko and I yelling. You grew worried and went to investigate when you saw me leave in a hurry. Insist that you were worried for a friend and spent all night trying to find me. When it went dark you found a place to stay. If they ask which place say your were too tired to pay attention or remember. Play the victim and it will keep you alive. Pretend all that has happened was Mai and Zuko. Understand?"
"'Zula," Ty Lee sighed, and by the flutter of eye lashes against her shoulder Azula knew the acrobat was trying hard not to cry. "What about you?"
"I will say that I was hurt to find out my brother was flirting with Mai. I'll play the part like I must, but I will downplay Zuko's role. I'll claim that he was merely tired, looking for a friend to help him in his troubles while he gets closer to taking the throne, and that he mistook his feelings for Mai as being more than they were." Azula decided.
"Will Ozai believe it?" Ty Lee wondered.
"He will...for his own sanity he will," Azula assured. "Now, go."
With a silent air of grief, the acrobat abandoned her place beside the princess and collected her clothes. Azula noticed that despite their escapades the previous night she hadn't left a single mark on Ty Lee's body. The idea made her proud in an odd way. She hadn't hurt her.
Though Ty Lee dressed slowly, she remained quiet as she edged her way to the brush outside the lake. With a long sad look back at the princess she turned on her heel and abandoned the lake. Azula would be lying if she said it didn't hurt, or that she didn't feel a crushing emptiness at the prospect of what was to come. But it was inevitable. Just like the sun rising.
— — —
No more than two weeks from her night at the lake Azula found herself alone with Mai. An awkward silence befell them. It was there wedding night and neither had moved from heir opposite side of the room. Azula sat at the window sill peering into the courtyard. She couldn't even look at Mai because she knew the questions that would come. Whatever happened that night was up to Azula, and she felt like a monster all over again.
"Azula-"
"Don't," Azula shook her head, "have the bed. I'll take the floor."
"That's not what I meant," Mai sighed, though she made no move towards the princess.
"What is it then?" Azula asked, finally tearing her eyes from the moonlit flowers below.
"Are you okay?" Mai asked, and despite the awkwardness of their situation, Mai, good natured Mai, wore the expression of a deeply concerned friend.
"When have I ever been okay?" Azula asked, a smile twitching at her lips. "From the moment I was born I was never okay. It's almost funny when you think about it."
"When you left," Mai sighed, eyes falling to the floor. "Zuko and I worried you wouldn't come back. Which leads me to ask...given the circumstances ...why did you?"
"I may live the rest of my life hating the choice I made to come back here," Azula started, "but I would never leave you to be slaughtered by my father for a mistake I made. I may break things but I will fix them when I must. Now, go to sleep. I know you wake early and it's late as it is."
With a curt nod, Mai left the princess alone in the room while she changed. Azula's gaze fell back to the courtyard where she found the slender form of a pink angel weeping. She never knew anyone could look so beautiful when dressed in such despair. "Oh, Ty Lee, you should have stayed away from me like everyone else. At least they understood what kind of pain comes with loving me."