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"No, no, and no!" Eren scrambled to seize the three commanders and pull them out of the horse manure. "We do NOT roll in this shit!"

"YOU SAID A BAD WORD!!" Screamed Nile. "NOW YOU HAFTA PUT A BAR-"

"Shut up, Nile!" As soon as he said it, Eren regretted yelling at the three year old. Nile burst into tears and ran to Armin for comfort. Meanwhile Dot chanted "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

No one was looking forward to giving the commander kids a bath, least of all Eren. But Erwin wouldn't let go of his leg and Dot wanted to play with Erwin, meaning that Eren was stuck bathing the three.

"These three need baths," he said to the scouts who had not left the scene yet. "And I need help. We can't let them drown."

Erwin tugged at Eren's hand. "Ereh? I hungry." Eren ignored him.

"I'll help you," Mikasa said immediately.

"As will I!" Armin chimed.

"Great!" Eren said. He then thought about how rowdy the three became. "I think it might be best if one more came along. Just in case." No one volunteered. Frustrated, Eren began pointing fingers. "Eeny meeny mighty wall, loser gets to wash them all. You're it."

"No," Levi promptly responded. "You have three people. That's all you need."

"I HUNGRY!!!" Erwin yelled, tugging at Eren's leg straps. Eren handed Erwin a ration from his belt. The rations were dry and probably not very tasty but Erwin was happy with it.

"I need some more help." Eren redid his poem and ended on Jean, who began cursing, causing Nile to yell at him.

"Shut the fuck up, Nile!" Jean screamed. Like the idiot he was, Dot began repeating the word 'fuck' and Nile cried, running from Armin to Eren.

Together, the seven walked to the river. As they walked, Jean stepped closer to Eren and Armin, growling. "If she doesn't fix this curse soon, the commanders are going to end up making more trouble than the Titans ever did!"

"At this rate, I'm less concerned about the Titans and more concerned about giving them baths," Armin muttered.

By the time they reached the river, Nile forgot what he was crying about, and Erwin released Eren to play tag with Mikasa and the other commanders. Eren stepped into the water first, hoping the river would miraculously warm up. Unfortunately, it was the same as ever.

He turned around to see the three commanders watching him in awe. 'Weird,' Eren thought. 'Normally I'm looking up at the commanders.'

"You guys wanna come in?" He asked. The three nodded. "You're going to have to get undressed."

"But you're not undressed!" Erwin pointed out.

"I'm older than you," Eren said. "I can keep my clothes on." Actually, he didn't feel like undoing all his 3DMG straps. It took forever to get them on and off, no matter how fast he got at it.

The children wouldn't move. They all stared at Eren, silently plotting. Finally, someone did something. Dot kicked off his shoes and threw them at Jean. "Hold these." He stuck one toe into the water. "WAUGH!! IT COLD!!"

"It is?" Nile took off his own shoes (with a little of Mikasa's help). "No it not!"

"You didn't even touch the water," Eren grumbled.

"If Dot says it cold, I'm not going in!" Erwin crossed his arms.

"Me neither!" Nile chimed.

"Yeah!" Dot said.

That was enough. Eren stormed out of the water and dealt with the screaming and smacking as he undressed each child. If they weren't going to do things themselves, he might as well do something about it.

By the time he had all three children in the water, Eren was exhausted, and it was still the morning. If he survived past the war on the Titans, he was never having kids.

"Are we swimming?" Erwin asked.

"Yeah, sure," Eren grumbled.

Erwin cheered and did a belly flop into the water. The problem was Erwin the 37 year old didn't know how to swim. Apparently neither did Erwin the 4 year old. Erwin sank and Eren had to yank him from the water. "Erwin! Don't do that again!"

"I wanna swim!" Erwin yelled.

"I don't care!" Eren said. "I'm not having you drown under my watch. Levi will kill me." Erwin whined incoherently, wanting to dunk himself underwater again.

While Erwin swung around from Eren's arm complaining, Eren took a moment to check on the others. Dot was behaving fairly well and letting Jean wash him. On the other hand, Nile wouldn't sit still nor would he shut up. He was pouring his life story onto Mikasa. Armin got the honour of washing the commander's clothes.

Suddenly Erwin scooped up some water and threw it into Eren's face. "SPLASH FIGHT!!" He began kicking and chucking water at Eren, driving the cadet back a few steps.

"Erwin! Stop!" Eren moaned. All he wanted was to wash a kid. It shouldn't be this hard!

Dot and Nile completely forgot about Jean and Mikasa and the three commanders ganged up against Eren. Mikasa and Jean joined with Eren to splash back. "No fair!" Dot cried. "You guys all big! We want someone big!" So Jean called Armin over.

The commanders inspected Armin before deciding he would make a good teammate. Then they bombarded Eren, Mikasa, and Jean with a wall of water. 'It's too bad they're so young,' Eren thought. 'I could splash a lot harder.'

The fight went on for a while. Then someone got the bright idea to throw mud. The handful smacked Eren in face, causing him to take a retreating step, where the soft riverbed gave way under his foot.

Water engrossed his entire body. Confused and disoriented, Eren tried to find the surface. The river shouldn't be this deep. He could walk across it and it only came to his waist. And yet it felt like his entire world had been sucked away into a cold, dark, unwelcoming void. The harder he clawed at the water, the farther away the light moved.

Then his head broke the surface. Two strong hands pulled him to the shallow water, where Eren choked out any water he drank. "You okay?" Jean asked, clapping Eren on the back a few times.

Eren nodded. It would have been nice to learn how to swim. Then being underwater wouldn't have been so frightening.

He glanced at the three commanders, who acted like nothing had happened. They were still playing in the shallows, pretending to be great warriors who had to fight evil in the sea.

"What should we do with them?" Jean asked.

"Let them play. Just keep an eye on them at all times." Eren and Jean went to sit on a nearby rock, which was basking in the nearby sun. Half the rock had the children's clothes on it. The other half was just wide enough for the two to sit on.

As they watched the commanders, Eren let his mind wander. Two days was enough time for people to start questioning where the commanders were. While the Garrison and MPs may give them the benefit of the doubt, Nile's wife wouldn't. Neither would the government. Somehow, they needed to fix the curse or break the news to Erwin's mother, Nile's family, the entire Garrison and MPs, and anyone who wanted to know. Hopefully, he could avoid the government. The scouts -- no, the military in general -- tended to have a stingy reputation with the government. Even the Military Police was far from being properly honoured.

Eren eased himself back to reality. The children were still playing, though not the most gently. In fact, they were trying to hit each other with sticks. Perhaps it was time for them to head back. He called to the three, telling them he'd give them cake if they got dressed and obeyed on the way back.

"CAAAKKEE!!" Erwin was the first to rush over and attempt to dress himself, putting everything on wrong until Mikasa helped him.

"CAN WE HAVE UNICORN CAKE!???" Nile asked, wanting no help from Armin.

"I DON'T WANT CAKE!! I WANT MAC AND CHEESE!!" Dot wailed.

"Then Mac and Cheese you shall have," Eren said. He then leaned towards Jean. "What's Mac and Cheese?" Jean could only shrug.

Once the commanders were dressed, Dot leapt onto Jean's shoulders. "HORSEY RIDE!! GIDDY-UP!!" Jean glared at Eren, who merely shrugged.

"You heard him. Giddy-up, Horseface." And Eren watched Jean skip away.

Eren remained in the back of the group with Armin in Mikasa. A little farther ahead, Nile and Erwin, who were pretending they were searching for Titans now. That's good. They were walking home.

Then Erwin screamed. "TITAN!!"

"ATTACK!!" Nile commanded. He and Erwin threw themselves at Eren, knocking him over.
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