Thirty Two
There were so many things going through my head as I stepped into Pete's property. Every time I had been here, I left with a scar so I was hoping this time around, things would be different.
The front door swung open as if they had been waiting for me.
Miriam stepped out from inside, gaping when she saw me, her mouth wide open. I guess she didn't know that I knew everything now, or maybe she didn't know much of anything. I never got to say goodbye to her when I left here, and seeing her standing here before me made everything that happened four months ago seemed more real than ever.
A slight breeze passed through me, kissing my skin. What I wore tonight wasn't extravagant. It was a black leather pencil skirt with zips and a blouse. Miriam inched forward, her eyes sparkling in delight and disbelief. I closed the distance between us.
"Hey, Miriam," I greeted, watching her close her palm over her mouth. "It's good to see you again."
She threw her arms around me, surprising me with a hug. I knew we had gotten closer, but I didn't believe the woman had liked me. I thought she only tried to get close to me because she wanted to keep me in check for Rogue, but this surprise hug and the look on her face made me think that she genuinely formed a friendship with me.
I still had not forgotten that she tied me up for Rogue, but I could learn to forgive that. She had only done it on his instructions. I remembered that she had not liked it. Like me, she had no choice. She was loyal to him; although, it seemed like he wasn't her employer. However, she was still loyal.
"How are you?" I asked as I pulled away. "Have you been good?"
"How are you here? What are you doing here?" she asked frantically, looking around as though she was trying to hide me or wanted to keep me from entering the house. I guess she wasn't informed that I knew what was going on.
"I'm here to have dinner with Rogue and Veronica...." With my eyes dead set on her, gauging her reaction, I ended with, "and Pete."
Her eyes widened at that and a grin spread across my face. So, she did know everything that was going on. How long had she been around for them to be comfortable with her enough to let her in on their secret?
"You're the guest," she said, but mostly to herself. I still nodded and she blinked, chasing away her shock. A smile split from her face and she grasped my arm, dropping her voice. "I'm so happy you are here. We didn't get to say goodbye the last time and I thought I would never see you again."
Same here.
"Come on in." Wrapping fingers with me, she tugged me inside. "I was just about to leave, but let me escort you inside."
"No," I protested, smiling. "Don't worry about it. I can find my way around, remember?" I didn't mean to make her feel guilty about what she did, but that was what I read on her face.
While Miriam left, I found myself inside the house. I could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen, then someone rustling around. My heels clicked against the floor as I headed into the kitchen. I found Rogue stirring the pot, his back to me. He reached and grabbed something from one of the drawers, humming to the music that was playing.
Grinning, I set the champagne bottle that I bought on the counter, although not expensive, but I was recommended it. I went to him, reaching him over in small steps before I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him from behind. I felt him stiffened, caught off guard.
"What are you making?" I asked with a smile in my voice, but he didn't answer. I snuggled deeper into his back, inhaling his musky scent. Was he mad at me or something? Why wasn't he talking? I shifted, turning him around to face me. My arms were still around him.
When Rogue turned and locked eyes with me, the smile on my face fell. He stared back at me uncomfortably, and my heart hammered as I took in his hazel eyes and the little scar under his eyes. I sucked in a breath. It wasn't Rogue. It was Pete.
"Oh!" a woman's voice exclaimed from behind.
I whirled around and found Veronica standing by the doorway, then my gaze darted to Rogue beside her. My Rogue. I shoved Pete away and backed into the sink, swallowing hard. I looked away. I couldn't look at anyone. I had just hugged someone that wasn't Rogue. I had hugged Pete, mistaking him for my boyfriend and Rogue saw us.
My cheeks heated.
"Oh, don't worry about it, Beth," Veronica said as she stepped into the kitchen with a laugh. "You mistook him for Rogue, didn't you? It's fine. Anyone else would have."
I glanced at her to find her smiling at me, like I hadn't just hugged her husband intimately. It didn't settle right with me. Anyone else wouldn't have set them apart, but she would have because she knew to differentiate between her husband and her best friend.
Rogue was still standing at the doorway, leaning against it. I couldn't find it in myself to look at him. Would he be upset that I wasn't able to tell that it wasn't him? I couldn't help the twisting anxiety in my stomach, the embarrassment creeping its way up the back of my neck, and the aching hurt in my heart. Even if he wasn't hurt, I was hurt. I should have been able to tell. It should have been so easy for me.
*
"I hope you like the food," Veronica commented as she filled her glass with champagne and passed the bottle to Pete, who sat beside her. Rogue and I sat across from them in our seats at the dinner table. "And thank you for coming. I know it's not easy being here."
I took a second to breathe through my uncomfortableness as I shifted in my seat, finding Pete's gaze on me—A bit curious, a little bit of darkness in them. Behind those eyes lurked something wild, filled with dangerous things and hidden traps.
"It's a bit uncomfortable, but I will be fine," I admitted, softly running my fingers over the skin of my wrist.
Veronica's expression was thoughtful and open, and soothing my urge to get the hell out of there. "I understand." She gave me a smile that did look like she understood.
"Knowing what I know now, I just....." My elbow was propped on the table, a bad table manners but I didn't care. I just needed to do something. Use my hands to hide just how nervous and uneasy I was. "Never mind. I don't want to ruin dinner, and this is perfect, thank you, Pete." Despite the delicious smell of various dishes on the table, I was far from hungry, far from craving any bite.
"I'm glad you like it. Rogue certainly doesn't." He didn't look at his friend when he said this, but I was bothered by the gleam in his eyes.
My skin burned under his gaze, but I did well to keep my eyes locked on his. "Why?" I asked, daring to look at Rogue, who was watching the interaction between me and Pete with nothing in his eyes. However, when he caught me staring, there was a small tilt of his lips. That somehow made me feel calm.
"Because he thinks he's the only one who knows how to cook," retorted Pete, now passing the Salad to me. When I took the bowl from him, our fingers almost touched, and I quickly drew my hands away. I tugged at the bowl but he doesn't let go of it, arching his brow at me.
Yeah, I was acting weirder than ever. There was nothing wrong with being in a room with both men. What made it even weirder was how I felt quite comfortable with Pete, like I knew him more than I thought I did. In a way, I did. But what scared me was knowing just how much of him that I knew. How much of him that I had spent time with. It was too scary to ask.
"Pete is just jealous that Rogue is naturally a good cook while it took him a while to master a perfect dish," Veronica teased.
My pulse sped when I continued to stare at Pete. "Can I....can I ask you something?"
"Ask whatever you want."
"Doesn't it feel weird calling him Rogue?" A question I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to ask. "I mean, it's your name and all. It should feel weird, right?"
He smiled at the question. "At first, it was. It was hard, but it's been years now. I see him as Rogue more than I see myself. Sometimes, I forget that he's pretending to be me." He shared a look with Rogue, and I didn't know if that was gratitude or something else.
"Don't you miss it? Being yourself?" I probed again, realizing it wasn't only Rogue who had to give up his identity. Pete also did.
"We switch sometimes, but missing it? I don't think so."
Rogue chose that time to take my hand on the table and stroke his thumb along the inside of my wrist. I caught Pete staring at us, then his smile widened when he realized that I caught him staring. I suddenly felt awkward again, wanting to withdraw my hand, but Rogue wouldn't let go.
"It's cute what you two have," he remarked with sincerity.
Veronica chuckled at his words, sticking a serving utensil on top of a dish. "Babe, you sound jealous. Don't tell me you're jealous when your wife is sitting right next to you."
Pete rolled his eyes. It was the first time I saw him do something out of the ordinary. "Merely surprised that Rogue would be interested in anyone besides work, and just as much surprised that Beth could handle him. I'm curious."
Rogue snorted and spoke. "I was going to say the same about you, but then I remember you're married to Veronica so that makes you perfect." He turned to me. "Did you know the hell she put him through before she agreed to go on a date with him?"
"She set the date and time," Pete added.
With a laugh, Rogue continued, "What to wear and when to leave. She made sure to put him through so much hell for one date. To this day, she still hasn't said why she did that."
"Maybe it's because I love being a hard woman," Veronica defended herself. "Beth, you agree with me, don't you? Didn't you give Rogue hell before you accepted him? If anything, I'm an angel compared to her."
My cheeks flamed. I took a deep breath in and let it out. It didn't completely relax me, but it helped. "I had a good reason for it. What's your excuse?"
Pete suddenly laughed. "That's a good question."
I looked toward Rogue, who was silent. Maybe more silent than I had ever seen him. I grabbed his hand to gain his attention. He was startled by it and I frowned.
"Everything okay?"
He lowered his head and said into my ear in a throaty voice, "Yes, thank you for being here. I hope you're having a good time."
Grinning, I moistened my lips and nodded, squeezed his hand one last time before I let it go. When I looked away from him, I found Pete staring at us as he dragged his fork across the table, scratching it. He had a look in his eyes that made me swallow. The way he gripped the fork, and the screeching sound of it being dragged across the table almost made me wince.
Veronica's hand closed over his, stopping the movements of the fork. Her gaze on him was a warning that I couldn't see. Then, she smiled and took away her hand, pretending the last few seconds had never happened. It made my chest pinch, not in the right way.
Rogue cleared his throat and raised the bottle of champagne to me. "Another refill?" he asked as if he was trying to lessen the tension in the room.
"I think she's fine," Pete spoke up, causing both our heads to turn to him. Veronica froze with her fork raised to her mouth, then she put it down and turned to her husband. Suddenly, Pete laughed. "I mean, she's fine because she's had almost two glasses already, and I was thinking of bringing out my good bottle."
"Oh, I'm good," I quickly said. "I don't plan on drinking much tonight."
"Ah, well if you change your mind, don't hesitate to tell me, and if it doesn't happen tonight, I will save the bottle for next time."
I nodded with a smile, then excused myself to go to the bathroom. Veronica offered to show me where it was before Pete reminded her why she shouldn't because I already knew where it was. The reminder of my stay here wrapped around us in a ball of tension. No one said anything else. I cleared my throat and got out of there.
Before I could enter the bathroom, my phone rang in my hand. I had forgotten that I brought it with me. When I saw Hanna's name flashing on the screen, I quickly picked up because I had been waiting for her to call.
She was in hysterics when she answered.
"B...Beth," she said in a choked whisper like she had been crying and freaking out for a while before she got the courage to call me.
My hands shook. "What is it? Are you okay?" I asked immediately. "Where are you?"
"At....at...h...home."
Was she hurt? I forced myself into a deep breath.
"Hanna, is someone trying to hurt you? Do you need me to call the police?"
She took a beat before she replied, "I...I think Rogue hurt me." She hiccuped. "I had...I had a dream that...that he t..took me. I think he could be the one who...." She choked up, unable to hide her fear and tears.
Hanna and I had never spoken about her kidnap, and I never tried to bring it up. But hearing her speak about it should have made me feel good that she was willing to open up about it. However, it scared me. It sent an icy feeling inside me. I didn't think she had seen the face of the man who had kidnapped her, but she must have seen it to have dreamt about it.
I backed into a wall, gripping my phone tightly. I sucked in short, hard breaths as she continued to tell me her dreams. Even though her mind was all fogged, she had seen Rogue's face—Pete's face, and she was struggling to understand, struggling to take in the information that her brother's friend, the one in charge of finding her, had been the one to take her.
"Are you sure it was him?" I questioned, shaking. I had hoped she wouldn't remember because I knew if she did, it would be Rogue who had to bear the consequences. He was innocent, but he would have to be punished, and he would allow himself to be punished instead of Pete.
I couldn't let that happen.
I had to do everything in my power to make sure nothing happened to him. That nothing would hurt him.
"Maybe...maybe you had him on your mind all day and that's why your brain is messing with you," I told her to direct her mind away from him. "He's your brother's friend, Hanna. I don't think he would hurt you."
"Really?" she asked in a whisper, but then she let out a frustrated sigh. "But his face was so clear. He...he knocked me out, Beth. I saw him and...and I got startled by his presence. But then, he was...he was hitting me, knocking me into unconsciousness."
A bead of sweat started to form on my forehead as I listened. The room was spinning and my heart felt like it was running a marathon.
"Your mind is all over the place right now. You should relax, clear your mind before you reach a conclusion. For all you know, this could be nothing. You can't accuse someone based on your dreams."
"But—"
"You could have been stressed. Stress makes you dream of so many things. You can't...you can't believe anything you see, Hanna, and accusing a man like Rogue Slade without proof isn't something you would want to start. At least, think of his relationship with your brother. If you accuse him of kidnapping and it turns out to be wrong, it will put a strain on their relationship and yours too."
"Beth," Rogue's voice came from behind me and I jumped, twisting my head to him. His face told me he heard the last thing I said to Hanna. I inclined my head as if to tell him I could handle this alone. All Hanna did was have a dream and dreams weren't real or the truth.
"Tell you what," I continued, my eyes pinned on him. "I can come over right now and the two of us—"
"No!" she returned fiercely, then cleared her throat. "Beth, it's fine. You don't have to come over. You may be right. This could be nothing. I knew I was bound to dream about this someday, but I don't know what triggered it today. She sighed. "If Rogue had kidnapped me, I would have felt something the moment I saw him, and I have seen him so many times already. Something would have clicked if he had been the one."
"Y...yes yes, exactly." What clogged my lungs finally released me from its hold, and I could finally start to breathe. When she apologized for calling me and dropped the call, I didn't bother calling her back. I inched closer to Rogue, who was combing his fingers through his hair, his eyes weary.
Tears welled up in my eyes when he wounded his arms around me and squeezed me tight. I could still feel the panic in my heart, slithering through me.
"What are we going to do?" I asked, bunching his shirt in my fists and bit down on my lips. "She remembers...she remembers your face. What are we going to do, Rogue? I can't lose you. I just can't."
He raised his eyes to me, keeping his hands on my shoulders to hold me in place. My eyes watered seeing the sea of pain and stress in his eyes. I hated seeing that look in his eyes. He seemed so tired and weary like life was sucked out of him slowly. I wondered if he had looked like this all these times and I had never bothered to see it.
"Nothing is going to happen," he promised in a whisper. "I finally got you, so I won't let anything take this away from me." Reaching out, he grazed his fingers down the side of my face, pushing my hair out of the way.
"She remembers—"
"Then we convince her it isn't," he continued.
"What if she talks to someone? She's remembering that night, Rogue. If she tells them she saw you, they will believe her. They will convince her it's true. There is no other reason why she would dream about you."
I was telling him what he should fear. Hanna wasn't stupid and the people around her weren't either. If tonight I changed her mind, tomorrow would be different. I didn't want to tell Rogue that if the chance comes, I wasn't going to save Pete. I was going to save him. He had done more for him than anyone else could have. He paid his debts to him. And now to keep my boyfriend safe, I wouldn't hesitate to hurt Pete. I wouldn't hesitate to do anything for Rogue. He should know that.
"I can deal with this," he told me. Our breaths fell on each other's faces. "It shouldn't mess with your head. I promise you it's not something to get worried about."
"I'm only loyal to you," I reminded him fiercely, and a smirk swept across his face as his fingers sifted through my hair.
"We will see about that," he remarked, ruffling my hair.
I punched his stomach a little and he chuckled, wrapping his arm around my neck to draw me to his chest and kissed my forehead. His lips lingered a bit before he pulled away, looking down at me.
"Are you good? Do you want to leave?"
"We haven't even had dessert. I don't want to be a bitch for leaving the dinner halfway."
"It's okay, they already know you are."
Knowing he was teasing me still didn't prevent me from saying, "Asshole." I punched his chest again.
Rogue held me a little tighter. "Come on, I see how uncomfortable you are, Beth, and I'm grateful that you're trying to get to know the people close to me. It means more than you think, so just hang in there and try a little more, okay? I need them in my life and I need you. Try and hold off from biting Veronica if you can." He chuckled softly and it made me want to do the same, but I didn't have a laugh in me just yet.
"I don't want to try. I actually want to like them. I don't want to be a fake person who puts on a fake smile and conversation when I meet your friends."
"Pete's face still bothers you," he noted, still clinging to me. "And then there's the matter that happened in the kitchen."
I stiffened, letting out small breaths. Looking away, I glanced at the wall. "I'm sorry, I should have been able to recognize that it wasn't you, but that shouldn't..." I chewed on my lip and looked at him. "That shouldn't tell you that I don't like you enough to mistake someone as you. I do, I like you so much. I will be careful next time. Did hugging him hurt you?"
"Mistaking him for me didn't hurt," Rogue whispered the words, and I held him tighter. "It did hurt to see you hug him, but I'm not going to blame you for that. It wasn't meant to hurt me, and I could see how much that bothered you. I'm telling you that it's fine. There's no need to worry about that. If that happens in the future again, I won't blame you."
"That won't happen again, not when I'm sure it isn't you."
He grinned and his lips rested near my temple, feeling his hard and muscular body wrapped around mine that gave me a sense of security, love, and warmth. I pulled back and his arms released me easily. Deep, hazel eyes looked down at me.
"What is it?" he asked, his tone carefully veiled.
"I just realized the effort you're making to get me to like your friends should be extended as well."
Rogue tilted his head, his gaze scorching every inch of my face. "Who doesn't like me?" Then he tilted his head up and his lips parted. "Ah." He nodded in understanding, then chuckled. "I see. That might be a bit of a problem. I happen to like her very much." With a wink, he turned around and started walking away.
When we finally got back to the table, Pete wasn't there, but we heard Veronica in the kitchen, preparing to bring the dessert out. I sipped on my drink to wet my throat, feeling Rogue nudge my leg. I glanced at him.
"What?"
"Don't be a little too stiff. Just relax."
"If I relax, then I'll end up crawling into your lap." I grinned, watching the way his eyes darkened at my words.
"All I've thought about is bending you over this table and fucking you raw." He leaned close enough that his smell entered my lungs, and mixed with his words, it fucked with my mind.
"Yes, please," I remarked, licking my lips. His words made me feel as if he were already doing those things to me, already bending me and fucking me.
Rogue's gaze raked over me, his thumb rubbing his lower lips. "It's very tempting, but..."
"But?" I breathed, roaming my eyes over his eyes and lips, down to his throat. My skin was already buzzing and alive. I was wet and I ached, inching towards an explosive want.
He stretched even closer to me, placing his lips on mine, and brushed before he pulled away. I groaned immediately. He chuckled softly, wrapping a strand of my hair around his fingers.
"But," he continued, a smile tilting at the corner of his mouth. "We are guests here. We can't fuck on the table—I am capable of doing that, but I know you won't be comfortable with it."
"Okay." It came out almost a whisper.
Pete ended up not joining us for dessert and Veronica said he was feeling under the weather. When I told Rogue to check on him, he immediately shut me down, sounding tense. The energy had shifted together and he stood up. Puzzled, I stared at him.
"Sorry, V, but I have to take Beth home," he announced with a pleasant smile on his face. "Her sister is waiting for her and I can't keep her away from her."
I stood up at the same time Veronica nodded and rose as well. I didn't get it. A few minutes ago, he didn't mention anything about wanting to leave.
"It's fine," Veronica responded as she followed us out and walked us to the front door. "I'm so glad we could have this dinner, Beth, and I still apologize for everything that happened. I hope we can still be friends after tonight."
Rogue was already out of the door when I paused to respond to her. "I agree this is something I still have not wrapped up around my head, but I will get used to it." I looked at her carefully for a few long seconds, seeing the welcoming smile on her face, almost like the first time I had seen her. She welcomed me. Lured me with her smile and pleasantries, used my loneliness and the need to escape to toy with me.
But no. That was the past. If I needed to move on, I shouldn't hold a grudge for what she did. I didn't want to continue letting myself maul over the past.
I smiled at her. "It was a lovely dinner. Thank you for inviting me," I said. "And if you ever need someone to hang out with, you have my number. Thank Pete for me."
She nodded with a large, relieved smile. "Have a good night, Beth."
I made it out of the door and reached Rogue, where he was waiting for me near the car. He reached his hand out and traced his thumb along my jaw.
"You do know that I drove, right?" His smile was his only response. "Stay with them. I can drive myself back home the same way I drove here," I told him, standing on my tiptoes to give him a chaste kiss.
Rogue didn't say anything, watching me get inside the car. He still watched when I started the engine and waved at him. While I drove towards the gate, I could see him through the rearview mirror, watching me. But he wasn't the only one.
A figure stood by the window on the second floor, watching me.
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