"I don't want to lose him......he is my best friend, he is my brother. I can't ever live without him."

The whole journey to the hospital was a big blur for Jinks. He couldn't comprehend how did it all reach this point. He just couldn't understand how they failed to notice the shadows in Virat's eyes?? How they failed to understand the gloom and sorrow clinging to Virat like a second skin?? How didn't they noticed how depressed he looked?? The bags under his eyes, his red and glassy eyes it seemed he cried daily and they weren't there.

They weren't there when he needed them the most and they weren't there. Fuck, that he wasn't there. He wasn't there when his best friend needed him. Virat was always there for them. He was there whenever they were down, he was there cheering them, he was there teasing them, he was there hugging them, he was there being a total child diverting their attention from their worries with his boyish charm and boisterous laughter.

He was always there as a constant annoying presence in their life. The devil voice in their head, chiming in random situations. A force to reckon on-field and a total goofball and child off-field. Sometimes being the calm one giving advice, sometimes being totally crazy, dancing all night on Punjabi songs and playing pranks with the kids. Virat was always there being a total entertainment packet, changing himself according to the situation, being whatever the team members, needed him to be. Yes, he wasn't Mahi Bhai, he never could be Mahi Bhai but he was himself. He has his own ways, his rowdy bindass nature, and an emotional heart. Never, a movie lover but still watching the movie of his girlfriend, wasn't he there with him consoling him after Naisha ditched him just before the world cup. Wasn't he there hugging him as he cried his heart out?? Wasn't he there when he asked him in oh so vulnerable and broken tone "why everyone I love leaves me, Jinks??" "Don't I deserve love, Jinks??"
"Am I really that bad??"
"Am I really a monster??"

And didn't he reassured him that he wasn't a monster, he wasn't bad. He was their cheeku, he was his best friend and he won't ever leave him but look what happened?? Virat was left alone when he needed them the most. Virat was alone and none of them were with him. He must be scared, broken, hurt and feeling oh so hurt but none of them were there to hug him, to tell him it all will be alright.  No, he wasn't there to pull him in his arms and whisper in Virat's ears "I got you, brother" until the words actually penetrated that thick skull of his. No, he wasn't there neither was Rohit there to tell him he is loved and it wasn't his fault that this happened. They will make it alright and cricket wasn't more important than his life. He would have screamed it until Virat actually listened. He would have locked him in his room and wouldn't have let him out until he was actually fine. He would have done everything to keep his brother, his bestie safe if someone bothered to inform him about the danger on his brother, his besties life.

He wanted to hail a storm towards the ICC and every other person who knew and didn't inform them. Didn't notice that Virat was being a sacrificial idiot, didn't notice Virat was in a bad frame. He was depressed and needed support and they weren't there. They weren't fucking there, Jinks internally screamed. He wanted to scream and rage, he wanted to let the world know-how devasted he felt. How devastated and broken he was, how useless he is feeling right now. How guilt is tearing apart his heart pieces, Virat's memories gluing them back and again the guilt will tear it apart slowly and painfully. It was a continuous cycle and he was sure the same cycle was going on with everyone with them.

Harry was eerily silent, starring outside with a blank gaze. He hadn't uttered a single word since they left the stadium. He was silent and broken, he looked ten times worse than after the backlash of that dammed coffee show.

Rohit was crying, he knew his other bestie was crying so was Sikhar. They were crying without being actually aware of the wetness leaking through their eyes. Rohit looked lost too, he looked worse than after the world cup defeated. He looked like the world has ended for him. He looked defeated and lost as if nothing was beautiful anymore and Jinks knew the feeling nothing should seem alive and beautiful without Virat with them. Even the stars shine failed against the shine of their cheeku's eyes when he was happy.

Yuzi was downright sobbing with Kulya as Bhuvi tried to calm them though even Bhuvi's eyes were red and glassy and his lips were trembling as if he was barely controlling himself from breaking down in uncontrolled sobs.

Jadu's lips we're set in a firm line and his eyes were oh so full of sorrows that Jinks thought he'll break by just glancing at them and he still couldn't make himself look at Mahi Bhai. Mahi Bhai seemed to have lost all his calmness and coolness, there was a storm brewing in his eyes. A storm that meant retribution. There was so much pain in this storm, so much sorrow, and heartbreak and loss.

And Jinks was drunk on all those emotions, he was drunk on worry, fear, agony, guilt and again fear and anger. He was so worried about his Cheeku, he hadn't seen him for about 3 months and now, he is worried, worried that would Virat still want to be his bestie?? Will Virat still consider him as his friend?? Will Virat ever forgive him?? Will Virat sur...no, don't get down that lane Jinks. He screamed internally. Virat will survive, he has to survive or he won't be able to live with himself. Virat had to survive, he needed to throw tantrums, he needed to boss them around, he needed to show them attitude and sulk around them in general. He has to be with them, Virat can't leave them. Virat can't leave them and go like this. Like this when the last memory with him is a disastrous fight.

Jinks was out of the car before it even halted in front of the hospital, running inside with the rest of the team. Anyone blocking his path, anyone stopping him from meeting Virat right now was his greatest enemy and thank God, the security knew about that fact as they lead them straight to the ward in which Virat was kept and nothing, nothing in the whole world prepared Jinks for the scene in front of him.

There was he, his Cheeku, his brother, his bestie lying there looking like death has just walked over him. Virat looked broken with various wires and tubes attached to him. An oxygen mask resting on his face as a myriad of bandages surrounded him and the machine next to his bed continued beeping and Jinks never wanted to see Virat in this condition. He looked so fragile, so vulnerable, so pale and in so much pain even with the sedatives being pumped in his body to dampen the pain. He could hear the gasps and choking sounds coming out from behind him as the rest of the team stood on the door looking at their broken cheeku. The sobs breaking through the lips of the youngsters and Rohit alike. The tears dripping down each of their faces. This whole situation was wrong, yes everything was wrong.

Virat shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be looking so lifeless, so broken, so weak and helpless. He shouldn't be lying there wrapped in white bandages with his eyes closed. Virat shouldn't be this quite, he was never quite. He was always full of energy and joy. This all seems wrong and Virat shouldn't be here. It shouldn't have reached this point. What was God punishing his Cheeku for?? How much misery he needed to go through and for how long they can look at their brother's broken form without setting the world upon flame??

~to be continued~