@CastielNovak Thank you all for always supporting me. I love you all. No matter what happens to me. Remember that.
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*physical and mental abuse in this chapter

"Jack? Jack? Wake up," someone cooed, pushing on Cas's bicep slightly. Castiel's eyes fluttered open to see his gorgeous, sleepy boyfriend in front of him. It was now pitch black outside and he could see that Dean had turned on the bedside lamp.

"Nngh?" he grumbled groggily. He was still dazed from being tired. He sat up further in bed and wiped his eyes with his fingertips.

Dean said, "Gabe was calling you." Cas took his phone from Dean and looked. His eyes opened wide as he saw sixteen missed calls and seven text messages from Gabe. "I figured it was important since he called you a lot." Cas unlocked his phone after a few failed attempts - being too tired to unlock it properly - to see the unread texts from his brother. He glanced up at the time, seeing it was one in the morning.

(Underline: Gabe)

Yo

Where are you?

Why arent you home?

Raphael wants to know where you are

Hes mad

Hes really mad. Please come home

I tried texting Sam to get your attention but hes not answering either

Cas flung out of bed like Sam on a Tuesday. He swayed a bit, accidentally crashing into Dean's bookshelf upon standing up so fast. Dean rushed over to help him by grabbing his wrist with his right hand and putting his other on Cas's back to steady him. "Thank you, Dean," he said as he hurried out of the bedroom towards the door.

"Hey, wait up," Dean called out, running after him. Cas continued his shuffling at the door. The back of his shoe was caught on his heel. He couldn't get it on and he groaned. "Is everything okay?" Dean cooed.

Cas's shoe finally slipped on and he stood properly. He kissed his boyfriend on the lips before opening the door. "Yes, thank you for waking me. I enjoyed myself. Please text me about your mother," he rushed, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek as he bolted down the steps.

Castiel fished his keys from his front pocket and unlocked his car. He stepped in quickly and slammed his door before starting up his car. He backed out of the driveway, nearly hitting a van passing by. He sped home way faster than the speed limit permitted, but he didn't care. He didn't even put his seatbelt on.

When he arrived, he noticed all of the parking spots were taken. He recognized Michael's, Luci's, Raphael's, and Gabe's cars in the driveway. He pulled close to the curb in front of his house, bumping it slightly as he parked. He didn't care, though. He parked, turned the car off, and stepped out of the car. Cas slammed the door and locked it before rushing up to the front door. He unlocked it in a hurry and pushed inside.

As soon as he was in the foyer, he went to close the front door. Upon doing so, he saw Raphael sitting at the kitchen table. He wasn't eating, just glaring directly at the front door. He had his legs slightly separated as he sat. One elbow was perched on the table and another on the back of his chair.

Gabe was right. He was mad.

Castiel turned to lock the door as he muttered, "Hello, Raphael."

Raphael stood, immediately charging over to Castiel. He reached both hands out and placed them on Cas's chest, shoving him into the door. Castiel's lower back hit the doorknob and he winced in pain. He looked down at the ground and turned his head away. "Where were you?" Raphael yelled, pushing Cas by his right bicep on the floor.

He landed with a thud and his elbows harshly collided with the ground as he attempted to catch himself, grunting painfully upon contact. "I was at a friend's," he muttered.

Raphael placed a sharp kick to Cas's right thigh who cried out in pain. "Look at me when you speak to me!" he screamed, grabbing the shorter man by the arm and harshly flipping him over. He released him and stood again, liking the power he felt from towering over his younger brother.

Cas looked Raphael in the eyes and repeated, "I was at a friend's."

Raphael landed a sharp blow to Cas's stomach making him double over. "Did I say you could go to your friend's?"

"No," Cas muttered and continued laying on the ground.

He knew doing what Raphael wanted was the only way he could make it easier on himself. He had the agreement with Raphael - Castiel in exchange for Gabe - since they were children. Raphael was six and a half years older than he was. That's how he knew about the rule: "As long as he wasn't coming home with bruises, he was okay." It was Raphael's beloved loophole. Castiel wasn't coming home with bruises, he was getting them there.

Raphael lifted Cas by his ear who rushed to his feet to avoid feeling like it was going to be ripped off. "I'm sorry," he growled into Cas's ear, centimeters away, "I didn't hear you."

Cas gulped. "No," he whimpered. Raphael took Cas standing as an advantage and shoved him backwards. Castiel's shoulder collided with the edge of the coffee table. It was short and had glass in the interior. Fortunately, for him, the legs and the edges of the table were wooden and rounded. He felt his cut from before burst open and the back of his shirt soaking with warm blood.

Castiel groaned, bending over to clutch his aching thigh.

"Get up!" Raphael yelled at the bruised boy.

Cas sucked in a breath as he stood. He pressed a hand on the table to assist himself on his way up. He stood on his left leg - the uninjured one - and pressed his tippie toes of his right leg down on the ground. His left arm was against his chest as he hunched over to avoid the risk of blood dripping on the ground. Castiel looked up at his brother through his lashes, his jaw hung open as he panted.

"Go grab my things," Raphael commanded. Cas sauntered to the kitchen to dig around in the junk drawer, looking for the objects. He didn't even have to say it but Cas knew what he wanted: the boxcutter and cigarettes.

That was part of Raphael's fun - making Cas grab the objects he was going to be hurt with. It made the emotional trauma that much worse. He would show Castiel pictures of him crying, calling him an 'ugly crier', and pictures of the blood running down his back. It would always cause the younger boy to shut up immediately, not breathing at all as his sobs still shook his body.

Of course, the objects changed over the years. At first, it started out physical. Hands and feet only. It slowly progressed to belts and things like that but, after a while, even that wasn't enough for Raphael.

He would force Castiel to go grab different kitchen utensils. One time, he broke a wooden cutting board on him while Anna stood in the corner of the room screaming bloody murder. After Chuck noticed the cutting board obviously missing, he switched back to the originals. He would make Cas grab the metal spoon - the one with the most holes, that way the air flowed through it just right as it came down on him - from the drawer. It wasn't until Raphael discovered cigarettes at the young age of fourteen that he incorporated them in the routine.

Sometimes, it would go on for hours. It would be agonizingly slow, starting off with Raphael dropping lit matches on his torso and not letting Cas move. Other times, like Cas had a feeling tonight would be, were quicker. He'd only ended up going to the hospital around four times, not nearly as many times as he should've.

He shuddered at his thoughts as he shut the drawer, trudging back into the livingroom.

"Take your shirt off," Raphael shouted at the younger boy. Castiel raised his hands, tugging the shirt with him over his head. Laying it on the table, he sat down next to it. "I didn't give you permission to sit," Raphael continued.

Cas was used to this. It was what they did every time. He would sit on the edge of the table, giving Raphael free roam to burn or cut anywhere on his torso. He figured he would make things easy and be prepared. Raphael demanded he be ready for him, so why not sit like the million times before? Castiel decided to be ready this time and sit down. But, of course, it would never be good enough for Raphael.

He stood and looked down at his feet. "It's okay, you can sit. It's not gonna be too much worse considering you already decided to show up at one in the fucking morning." Raphael traversed the room and sat on the sofa behind Cas.

Castiel sat, again, careful not to place himself on his shirt or the ashtray in the middle of the table. He balled his right hand and put it inside his left. That was how he kept himself from screaming.

"You see," Raphael growled and Cas felt a cold, sharp object pierce the area above his right shoulder blade, "we're both artists in a way." Cas squeezed his hands and tensed his back, preparing for the next cut. He felt the blood seep from the throbbing area and felt as it trickled down his back. "The only difference is you paint with a brush. I paint with this," and Cas felt a cut on the upper left of his back just below where his shirt collar would lay. "Now, I want you to spell this out for me," Raphael mumbled to him. "T," Raphael started, cutting vertically down his back.

"T," Cas repeated quietly. Then, Raphael cut horizontally.

"R. Louder, Cas!" Raphael commanded. Castiel had his eyes shut tightly and his nose full of smoke from the cigarette that was being smoked behind him.

"R," Cas intonated, feeling Raphael cut the letters into his back. The carving was agonizingly slow and took a longer time than Cas had previously imagined they would take.

"A."

"A." By now, Raphael had finished his cigarette and put it out on Cas's back. Castiel cried out in pain.

"I."

"I." His brother paused and Cas heard the flicking of a lighter. He was smelling the burn of another cigarette.

"T."

"T," he said with a wince. His back was nearly numb now; he couldn't tell the difference between his normal back and the throbbing, aching parts.

"O," Raphael voiced, pressing the blade in a little deeper.

"O," Cas whimpered. His eyes fluttered open as he felt something cold drop onto his hands. He was crying.

"R," he seethed, trailing the last cut a lot longer than the rest. Cas assumed he took the R all the way down his back out to his side.

"R," Cas echoed. He had felt truly and utterly defeated. Raphael blew the smoke directly into Cas's face causing him to start coughing. Mid-cough, Cas felt an intense burn to one of his cuts and he screamed. Raphael had put out the cigarette in one of the letters.

Cas started sobbing quietly, clenching his hands together. His whole back felt gross from the blood dripping down. It had stopped at his waistline but he knew it was just because the fabric absorbed it or it fell on the table. "Clean it up," Raphael directed.

Cas pressed his hands against the edge of the table and hoisted himself up. His right leg still hurt along with every other part of his body. He limped to the kitchen and grabbed one of the orange towels they hung upon the oven's handle. He leaned over and nearly cried out, his back aching. But he didn't. He just let the tears drip off his chin onto the floor tile. He opened the cabinet under the sink and took out the small bucket he had put there just for this reason.

It was the same bucket he used to clean every time. Same bucket, same table, and the same tears.

He opened the soap bottle and drizzled it across the bottom of the inside. Then, Cas placed the bucket in the bottom of the sink and turned the tap on. Suds started to form at the bottom and Castiel sighed. He put his hands on the edge of the countertop and leaned forwards, drooping his head downward.

He hated his home life. His dad was on his world-wide tour of his latest book release and hadn't been home in months. Castiel and Lucifer didn't get along the best but they were able to be in the same room together without fighting. He wanted to take off with Gabe and Anna and never return. And the only reason he didn't do that was because he didn't have custody of Anna. Yeah, he could hire some fancy lawyers to fight for custody and go after Raphael, but not without nearly costing himself his life.

Raphael threatened to reveal Cas's true identity if he ever left or told anybody about the abuse. Cas was his personal ragdoll to beat up on and needed to be there whenever Raphael wanted him to be.

He stood up and took a deep breath. He knew procrastinating wouldn't help him. After shutting the tap off, throwing a sponge in the bucket, and picking up the towel, he traipsed back into the livingroom. Raphael stood above Castiel as he got down on his knees and scrubbed the table clean.

Raphael bent down, picking up the cigarette container, and growled in his ear, "You wanna know why I carved that word into your back?" Castiel didn't answer him. He kicked the injured boy in the ribs, knocking him over onto the carpet. Thankfully, he caught himself on his hands. "Answer me!" he barked. Cas flinched.

"Yes," he cried loudly. His voice cracked.

"Because you're my pet. You're supposed to be at home with the family. Instead, you're out with your friend? C'mon, Castiel. He's not your friend. Nobody wants to be your friend," he spat at the smaller man. Then, he left to stomp up the stairs to his room.

Cas sat up and continued scrubbing the table, tears flowing from his eyes freely. He hated his brother with all his heart. It took almost every ounce of self-control not to attack him. He knew if he did, he probably wouldn't stop.

He stood up as a sob rocked his body, picked up his bloody t-shirt and the boxcutter. He put the latter in the water and placed the bucket on the kitchen counter next to the sink. He ambled up the steps slowly, t-shirt in his right hand and head hung low. When he approached the top of the steps, he saw two pairs of feet. He looked up groggily and smiled through the tears, seeing his brother and sister.

"I love you, Cas," Anna said, her voice breaking and eyes watering.

Gabe stood next to her and sniffled. He used one hand to wipe the tears out of his eyes, relying only on his fingertips to catch the moisture. He looked at Cas and said, "You want help?"

Cas nodded and a small smile played upon his face. "Thank you. I love you too, Anna." He stepped in between the two and pressed a kiss to Anna's forehead before walking past her. He walked into his bedroom, throwing his t-shirt in the trash bin by the door. Gabe shut the door behind them and followed Cas into his ensuite.

Cas sat down on the closed lid of the toilet. He hissed in pain. "You don't have to do that for me, Cassie. I can deal with it myself," Gabe said as he crouched down to the floor. He slipped Cas's shoes off one by one, a routine he was far too used to. He did the same thing with his socks. Cas stood and shrugged down his sweatpants, tugging both sides down by the pant leg with his right hand. Gabe leaned over and put the plug in the drain. He also started the bath.

"I know, Gabe. But I would rather it be me than you," Cas grumbled. He was still lightly crying and in a lot of pain.

Gabe looked at him with sadness in his eyes. His lips trembled. "I don't wanna stay here anymore," he cried.

Cas's heart broke. "I could buy you an apartment of your own, you know. Away from here. Away from all of this."

Gabe furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at his brother. Gabe was squatted on the ground, still sitting on his heels. "And leave you and Anna? No way. I couldn't," he shook his head vigorously.

"Why not? You deserve better than this, Gabriel."

"So do you, Cassie!" he exclaimed. Cas shushed him, considering it was only two in the morning. He didn't want to get punished for waking either of his brothers. "Why can't the three of us just take off? Why did we have to bring Raph and Luci?"

Cas sighed. "I could not get legal custody of Anna, even in court. It would be futile to even attempt it. I had to get dad to agree to take Anna with us here to Lawrence."

"So, you're saying that because our brothers are two jobless shitheads and can't afford a place of their own, we now are stuck with them?" Gabe appeared outraged.

"Only until Anna turns eighteen," he said. Cas felt his eyelids drooping. He tried his hardest to calm his brother, but he was slowly dozing off.

"Cassie?" Gabe asked.

"Hmm?" he hummed, flicking his eyes back open to look his brother in the eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Cas couldn't even respond; he just nodded.

"Cas? Cas, oh my God. Put your pants back on, we're going to the hospital," Gabe insisted.

Cas smiled limply and Gabe rolled his eyes. "Get up and get your head outta the gutter." Cas stuck his foot out and Gabe slid his pant leg around his ankle. He repeated the same thing with the other foot before assisting Cas to his feet. He was swaying gently and relying heavily on Gabe's body to hold him upright. He then tugged Cassie's pants up and over his boxers as well as he could one handedly. They were bunched up around his thighs but he didn't care.

Cas limped out of the room with Gabe at his side, tripping over his own feet a few times. Gabe had his arm wrapped around Cas's midback considering if he draped his arm where it was supposed to go, he would be touching the bottom of the last 'R'. He didn't care fresh blood was dripping onto his arm. He wanted his brother safe.

Gabe opened the bedroom door and led him out. He softly leaned Cas up against the railing and left into one of the other rooms. He came back a few moments later with Anna, and the three made their way out to the driveway.

Gabe was parked in and he groaned upon realization. Cas was dozing off even harder now and could barely be held up by the other two. He heard Gabe running inside after making sure Anna had a firm handle on Castiel. A few moments later, he heard the sounds of feet again, accompanied by the sound of jingling car keys. His siblings helped him get in the passenger seat and as soon as Cas sat down, he relaxed. He could hear faint shouting and crying, but he didn't care. All he felt was bliss as he blacked out.

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A heart monitor beeped loudly, waking Castiel. He heard light murmuring and his eyes flickered open. He gazed around the room, lost. For a moment, he had forgotten where he was and what had happened.

As his eyes focused, he came to notice the people in the room: Gabe, Sam, Anna, and Dean. His eyes suddenly shot open and he sat up as quick as he could painlessly Oh, no. Dean is going to find out who I am. Everyone turned to face him as he squirmed. He whimpered as his back brushed against the pillow and his face contorted. Immediately, Dean was at his side.

"Baby, oh my God. What happened?" he said. Cas squinted his eyes to focus harder on his boyfriend. Dean was wearing an ash grey flannel with a black undershirt, the rest of his body unseen by the bed railing. He was sitting in one of the shitty hospital chairs and had it pulled up next to the bed. Castiel's right hand was wrapped in between Dean's, on his left wrist he felt the medical bracelet. His elbows were placed atop the bed and his cheekbone rested near their hands. His hair was a mess, presumably a mix of him running his hands through it anxiously and the fact he had just woken up a few hours previous. It was now around 6am.

Castiel looked at Gabe with wide eyes, screaming help me mentally, referring to the whole situation. Gabe frowned and shrugged apologetically. When Castiel still didn't respond, Gabe decided to whisper something to Sam and Anna. They both nodded and all three left the room. They softly shut the door behind them.

"Pretty boy, you can talk to me. You know that. Tell me what happened," Dean pleaded.

Cas looked over at his boyfriend's forest green eyes and sighed. "I do not know how to explain," he muttered.

Dean lightly stroked Cas's hand with his thumb as he spoke."I'm not going anywhere. Take your time. I just want to help you." Cas continued to stare off at their entangled hands. "How can I help?"

"Perhaps... ask me questions? What do you want to know, Dean?" he asked.

Dean kissed the top of Cas's hand and put them down again on the hard hospital bed. Cas still felt tired and lightheaded, especially from all of the medication he had been dosed with, and couldn't entirely think properly. "Who did this to you?"

Cas glanced up into Dean's eyes before looking down to his lap. "Long story or short?"

"Long, please."

He took a deep breath and sighed. The monitor next to his bed beeped faster as he grew nervous. He personally had no reason to lie to Dean, but he was wary. Dean had admitted to lying more than once and the thought worried him. He decided there was no other way to tell him other than outright say it. "My older brother, Raphael."

"Your brother did this to you?" Dean said, growing louder in shock. He let out a low, menacing growl, baring his teeth. Cas squeezed his hand and Dean huffed, trying to calm down. Cas didn't want him yelling. "Why?"

"I came home late and did not ask permission to leave."

"You're twenty-three, you don't need to ask for permission to leave the house. And you especially don't have to ask him for it." Dean was outraged, but Cas was worried. He assumed Dean wasn't aware of his identity yet, considering he was still there.

"I know, Dean. We discussed this yesterday," he said, leaning his head back against the pillow.

Dean grumbled. "Yeah, we did." He sat back in his seat and looked at his tired boyfriend. "Was he the one that wrote that on your chest?" Castiel nodded. "What are those burn marks from?"

Cas exhaled, closing his eyes. He hated talking about it. "Cigarettes," he answered. There was a silence that overcame the two and Cas could tell Dean was holding back. "You will not know unless you ask, Dean," he said, almost reading Dean's mind.

"What did he do this time?" Dean asked cautiously.

Cas sat up and removed his hand from Dean's. He wasn't previously wearing a shirt and now had a hospital gown on. He turned his back towards Dean and he gasped. He could see the letters 'A' and 'I' through the opening in the back. The taller man reached up and carefully untied the three strings - which were tied into bows - and slowly pushed it off his shoulders.

Cas was oddly comfortable, sitting there in front of Dean. He was deeply ashamed of his scars but he felt at ease with his boyfriend. He had heard his boyfriend gasp at the sight but didn't move. "Traitor?" Dean asked.

Cas turned, sitting normally on the bed. He gestured to have Dean help put the gown back on as he spoke. "He thought I was trying to leave... being a traitor to my family and all."

There wasn't a response except for the squeak of Dean's chair. His hands disappeared from the robe and Castiel was perplexed as to what was going on. Suddenly, he felt lips on his temple. He looked up to see his messy haired boyfriend looking down at him.

"What is it?" he questioned.

"It's just... I feel bad," Dean answered. He put a hand on the back of Cas's head and he leaned into the touch. Cas purred at the small gesture, closing his eyes. Wow, this feels nice.

Cas said through his sleepiness, "No need to feel bad. Nothing you can do about it."

"Well, you have money, right? Why don't you move out?" Dean asked.

Cas responded, "I cannot. My sister needs me."

He heard Dean mumble something but he was too tired to pay attention. "Lay with me, Dean."

He didn't even have to ask twice. Dean immediately took his hand off of Cas's head, causing him to whine, and sat down in the bed. Cas scooted over and Dean laid on his back. Castiel cuddled laid on his right side, his head on Dean's chest.

The taller man wrapped his arm around him carefully and rubbed his lower back gently. Cas groaned and Dean immediately removed his hand, apologizing. "Doorknob," Cas muttered sleepily.

Dean pressed a kiss atop Castiel's head and laid his hand on his ribs. Cas grunted again. "Another?"

"Foot," Cas said this time.

Dean moved his hand lower onto Cas's hip. Castiel sighed contentedly and Dean knew that it was an acceptable spot. The injured boy was asleep within moments.

When the three came back into the room, Dean lifted his right hand to his lips and shushed their talking. The three nodded. Anna and Gabe sat in the two chairs available for Cas's bed and Sam went to the other side of the room where an empty bed was and stole a chair. He put it next to Gabe's and Dean fell asleep, his boyfriend in his arms.

Yall can thank Fight_Those_Fairies for proofreading and editing this chapter. I feel like its a lot better now tbh

And im sorry if this triggered anyone emotionally or otherwise. I feel like it needed to happen in order for you guys to understand how rough it was for him.

Also, please don't say anything negative about this chapter. Any other one i'll be okay with but people seriously struggle with this stuff. I, personally, added some details of my own home life into this to make it seem more realistic. And i dont need your pity or anything. i know the next time it happens, im leaving and never coming back.

If you or anybody you know struggle with this, tell someone. It's the only way it'll end. Because no, they will not get better. And no, they will not miraculously change. People like Raphael will always be a bully no matter what situation they're in. Even if they start being good..

You're not alone. You never will be ever again because i'm always here to talk and be by your side because no one deserves to feel abandoned without hope. Stay strong, loveys. It does get better

Make sure you comment, vote, and share the story. It helps the ranking improve and improves my motivation to keep writing. I love you all

"If it's not okay, it's not the end." ~ John Lennon