Doc loved his young boyfriend, he really did. he loved spending time with him, even if they were just laying in bed sleeping. which Doc was currently trying to do, only he couldn't because Lightning couldn't sit still. a common occurrence when they laid in bed together. Doc looked over at the clock, midnight. Doc heaved a sigh, then turned his head to look at Lightning.

"kid what the hell is wrong with you tonight?" Doc snapped. Lightning jumped and rolled over looking at him.

"sorry Doc." he mumbled. "can't get still tonight." he sighed.

"well try, you're getting on my nerves kid." Doc said. Lightning sighed.

"sorry." he murmured.

"what the hell has you all squirmy?" Doc ask.

"I... I dunno... I.. I'll..." Lightning murmured. he got up. "I'm going back to the Cone. get some sleep." Lightning said, getting up off the bed as quickly as he could, grabbing his shirt from the ground and leaving the room quickly. Doc sat up in confusion. he left his pants, cellphone, shoes, and keys behind. Doc got up out of bed to follow him. he grabbed the younger mans arm, as he was reaching for the door.

"Monty, hey whats wrong kid?" Doc ask softly.

"I just... I'd rather go sleep at the cone Doc, maybe you'll get some sleep if I go back to my place." he murmured.

"is there something wrong with the bed kid? something wrong with you? you're always squirmy when we lay on the bed. couch is fine but my bed bothers you." Doc murmured.

"its not the bed that bothers.... I'm not bothered Doc. I just... I've gotta.... the Cone." Lightning murmured, pushing Docs hand off his arm and heading out of the house.

"hey, kid, do you want your stuff?" Doc ask motioning to the bed room.

"look, you said you were trying to sleep. I'll get that stuff in the morning. I just want to get back to the Cone so you can-" Lightning tried. Doc grabbed his arm gently.

"hey look at me kid." Doc said. the younger turned to look at him, almost fearfully. it was something Doc wasn't used to seeing from him. "you squirm for three hours in my bed, get up rush out of the house in your boxers at midnight and think I'm getting some sleep if you just walk away? kid I'm not getting any sleep tonight, or any night this week, until I find out whats wrong with you." Doc murmured gently. he shook him gently. "please kid come on." Doc said softly. Lightning looked away, cheeks flushed.

"I'm fine Doc. nothings wrong with me. I promise. I just... full moon I guess." Lightning shrugged.

"crescent moon. try again." Doc frowned.

"Doc... look please, just drop this." Lightning said. Doc looked at him confused.

"what the fuck are you embarrassed about kid?" Doc ask. Lightnings cheeks turned a bright red.

"I'm having trouble sleeping Doc I'm sorry it kept you awake. just drop it." Lightning said. "I can't sleep. I've been struggling for weeks. I can't sleep Doc. nothing is wrong with me." Lightning assured.

"thats a matter of opinion. that could be a symptom of-" Doc tried.

"I'm not sick. I know why I can't sleep. I'm just being stupid okay?" Lightning ask.

"I love you, but you're 26 years of stupid." Doc soothed. Lightning huffed slightly.

"yeah thanks. well me and my 26 years of stupid are going back to the Cone so you can sleep." Lightning murmured. Doc grabbed his arm.

"Montgomery Michael McQueen, you aren't going anywhere until you tell me whats wrong with you." Doc glared. "now we're going to stand right here until you tell me whats going on." Doc said, holding his arm. "talk to me." Doc said.

"I can't sleep." Lightning finally said. "I can't. I can't convince myself to sleep! I just can't Doc. I lay down and I can't sleep. nightmares. god awful fucking nightmares so you know what? I'm going back to my Cozy Cone, I'm going to curl up with-" Lightning got quiet a moment. "curl up in bed and just lay there." Lightning corrected. Doc furrowed his eye brows in confusion.

"curl up with what kid?" Doc ask.

"its stupid. just leave me alone please." he mumbled, getting more upset. Doc watched him a moment, before pulling him into a chest. upsetting the younger into talking was never going to work.

"come here Monty. come here." Doc soothed gently, holding him. "shhh. its okay." Doc murmured. Lightning tried to shove away from him, even if he knew it was useless. "Monty, hey, listen to me here. look, what if we just go sleep in the Cone. would that make you feel any better?" Doc ask, softly.

"no." he mumbled.

"then what can I do to help you here? I love you. you're suffering and I want to help you, but you have to give me a little big of wiggle room. give me something to work with. how can I help you?" Doc ask.

"I don't know." he mumbled. Doc gently lifted the youngers face from his chest.

"okay, do you want me to just let you go. let you go to the Cone? is the problem sleeping with another person? some people it takes a bit to adjust. what do you want me to do?" Doc ask. "just be honest with me, its all I'm asking." Doc murmured. Lightning looked at him, then away from him. it was quiet before he looked back at Doc.

"Doc... I don't know. you want honesty you got it... I don't know." he mumbled.

"okay then come on back inside, we'll lay on the couch and watch a movie. I'll stay up with you. better than you staying up by yourself in the Cone." Doc said. Lightning looked back towards the Cone and Doc frowned to himself. "unless its something specific you're going for at the Cone." Doc said. Lightning shrugged one shoulder and Doc nodded. "okay, now we're getting somewhere. alright, so, whats so important at the Cone that its the only thing on the planet that you're absolutely desperate to just go get it?" Doc ask softly. immediately the younger looked away from him. he was embarrassed, thats what this was about.

"its nothing Doc." Lightning said.

"kid, Monty, I'm not judging you here. I get it you're embarrassed, but I'm not going to judge you or anything. look we all have our coping mechanisms. Mater's is pranks, Sally's is picking flowers, Ramone's is painting his car, Flo's is baking, Sheriff's is cleaning his gun, Fillmore's is having a beer with Sarge, Sarge's is looking through his old war photos and sobbing until he breathe, Red's is taking care of his flowers, Mack's is those weird cartoons. whats yours baby? hmm? everyone has one, I've known you five years, anytime you get upset since you moved in, you go hide in the Cone. I just want to help you." Doc murmured. Lightning shook his head no quietly.

"Doc I...." Lightning mumbled.

"kid there is no reason to be embarrassed." Doc said.

"you all have normal coping shit and I act like a child okay?" Lightning said.

"well I mean as long as you're not running around naked sobbing for your mom or something." Doc shrugged.

"thats not fucking funny. I'm trying to be serious." Lightning snapped.

"kid I'm just trying to joke a little with you. come on tell me." Doc murmured, leading him towards the Cone. "its an item of some sort yeah? so we'll just go to the Cone and get it." Doc said.

"wh-what?! no! I'm not... you're not... I... you can't see." Lightning snapped.

"kid come on, just breath and tell me, I'm just trying to help you." Doc said.

"well you can't. I don't want you to see." he mumbled.

"there's nothing to be embarrassed about kid." Doc said.

"what the hell is yours? hmm?" Lightning snapped, looking over at him with a dirty but curious look. Doc frowned a little.

"well, depends on whats wrong. I have a couple. sometimes I sit in the Hornet and have a beer, sometimes I curl up on my mattress and just stare at the wall, most the time I go out there to Willies Butte with a six pack or two. drink myself to the point I'm stumbling and dizzy. can't think straight. start screaming and shouting, throwing bottles... sobbing and stumbling. I'll trip on a rock or something, land in the dirt and stare up at the sky until I can't hold back. I throw up all over myself and the ground and just lay there until I pass out." Doc murmured. "kid we all have our methods." Doc said softly. Lightning sighed and stared at the door to his Cone.

"fine. just keep your mouth shut and stand right here. I'll... I'll bring it back out, n'we can go back to your house." he mumbled. Doc nods.

"kid I swear on my Hornet, that I'm not gonna laugh or judge you." Doc murmured, kissing his head. Lightning nodded slightly and headed into the Cone.

"first of all its Tommy." Lightning mumbled. Doc looked confused, looking at the door.

"um, Tommy?" Doc ask confused, but not moving to look inside the Cone. his young lover would step out when he was ready. it was a few silent moments before Lightning stepped out, glaring at him, his face a dark red and something in his arms. it made sense, perfect sense. he was embarrassed and being unusually shy. "Tommy." Doc said again nodding in understand. "okay, okay see, this is communicating. this is good, there's a bit of trust going on here. hi Tommy." Doc said, waving at the stuff bear the younger man was holding. Lightning turned away quickly, pulling away with Tommy protectively. it was a light brown bear with green eyes and it had a suit on. it was cute.

"don't talk to him, leave'em alone." Lightning grumbled, staring at the ground as his cheeks grew even darker in color. Doc smiled, throwing an arm around his shoulders gently.

"come on kid let go back to the house. okay?" Doc ask. "are you good to sleep now? is this all you needed?" Doc ask. Lightning was silent, though he did walk towards Docs house with him. "hey, Monty, I told you wasn't going to judge you. I love you and I don't care what your method is. okay?" he ask.

"no one knows about him. not even Mack, so just be quiet about him. okay?" Lightning ask.

"I have no idea what you're talking about love." Doc said, not taking his eyes off the view in front of him. the kid was already a nervous and anxious, he could feel his body trembling against him. he was absolutely terrified of this getting out. he didn't want anyone to know and Doc couldn't figure out why.

"good." Lightning mumbled.

"can I ask a question? about Tommy?" Doc ask curiously. Lightning shot him a death glare.

"depends." Lightning murmured.

"why are you hiding him? why are you scared of people finding out about him?" Doc ask. those were clearly the wrong questions to ask. the kid immediately jerked away from him.

"because he's no one else's business." Lightning hissed.

"take it easy Monty. I just want to know why you're scared here kid, acting like I'm gonna hurt you or something. the only time I hurt you is when I give you coffee or food thats too hot and it burns your tongue and you're over here acting like I'm gonna beat your ass or something." Doc said watching him. Lightning snapped his mouth shut quickly, hard enough Doc could hear his teeth coming together in a way that sounded painful. "look I'm sorry I ask. come on. I won't ask again. come on. lets go get some sleep. alright?" Doc ask, reaching out for him gently. he nodded slightly and followed Doc, but Doc paused. "hey, if you're not going to be comfortable coming back to my house, you can go back to the Cone Monty. I won't be angry or upset with you. I just want you to be comfortable here and if staying with me with Tommy bothers you, than you don't have to do it." Doc assured. Lightning stopped walking and turned to look at him.

"I don't get you. you don't think its stupid or childish?" Lightning ask. Doc looked confused.

"no, I don't." Doc murmured. "why would I? you clearly have an attachment to the be-" Doc started. Lightning shot him a nasty look. "to Tommy, sorry. Tommy is obviously very important to you. everyone has a comfort item." Doc says.

"yeah but mine is-" Lightning started.

"completely normal." Doc said firmly. Lightning looked over at him. "mine's the Hornet and we all know Red's is flowers. I don't really know everyone's comfort items, but everyone has one. hell, on Flo's bad day's you can see her carrying around an old pacifier of Mabel's in her pocket. if Tommy makes you feel better then there isn't anything childish about him." Doc assured. Lightning watched him a moment before walking over to him and cuddling him. Doc immediately wrapped his arms around the shorter man tightly, holding him. "are you coming with me or are you going to the Cone?" Doc ask.

"I'll go with you." he murmured. Doc nodded.

"can I tease you just a little? you'll laugh I promise." Doc said. Lightning pulled back a little to look at him, but cracked a slight smile. "since we're talking about childish things, should I go a head and carry you to bed like the child you are? you know, since your 40 years younger than me. automatically makes you a child." Doc said, smiling. Lightning snorted and rolled his eyes.

"you like to carry me." Lightning murmured.

"never said I didn't." Doc chuckled, scooping him up. Lightning yelped but held onto him with a pout.

"you almost made me drop him. I never would've talked to you again." he mumbles.

"don't worry, if you drop Tommy, I'll drop you and everything will be even." Doc assured. the younger smiled slightly, giving a quiet laugh.

"you wouldn't drop me." Lightning mumbled.

"no I totally would, but only if you drop Tommy." Doc assures, kissing his head. Lightning muttered something Doc didn't catch, before dropping his head on the older mans shoulder as he carried him into the house. "are you good to get some sleep seeing as its... nearly 3AM?" Doc ask. he nodded quietly. "I love you, and for the record, as long as Tommy is always this quiet, he can come any time he wants, as long as he makes you happy and comfortable." Doc murmured, kissing his head again before sitting him on the bed. Lightning scooted himself over in the bed to his side, smiling slightly. Doc chuckled and laid back on the bed, pulling the blanket up over both of them. he pulled Lightning closer to him, his arm grazed the younger mans beloved teddy bear and it was immediately yanked away.

"don't touch him." Lightning glared.

"geez I'm sorry." Doc huffed, holding the younger mans waist gently. "I love you, please get some rest." Doc murmured.

"hey." Lightning said, shifting to try and look at Doc.

"hmm?" Doc ask.

"thanks Hud." he murmured. "I love you too." Lightning yawned, curling up. Doc smiled and held him tightly, being careful not to touch Tommy. he held the younger man tightly, kissing the back of his neck.

"I love you and all your little quirks and how easily you get embarrassed." Doc murmurs, nuzzling the back of his neck gently. "but next time just be honest with me. if something is wrong, tell me please. it does neither of us any good for you to keep it to yourself. I just want you comfortable love." Doc murmured softly. he felt the younger man tense up slightly. "kid, I'm going to pick on you, because I love you, but not when its serious and this is serious. I want you to promise you'll tell me next time." Doc murmured softly.

"okay... I promise. I'm sorry." he mumbled softly. "I just, I thought if you knew you'd think it was stupid and childish, then you'd realize that I'm too young and childish for you so you'd leave." Lightning mumbled. "and I didn't want you to leave me." he added. Doc held tighter.

"no, I won't leave. I won't leave you Monty. you make me happy. why would I?" Doc ask, "I love you Monty. I won't leave, I already told you baby, I love you so much. its cute that you try to act all big and tough but you're just as soft as Red is." Doc murmured, holding him. it was quiet a moment, neither saying anything, just content to be in the others company.

"I lied." Lightning said after a bit. Doc shifted.

"about what?" Doc ask.

"there was one other person who knew about Tommy. I dated them for a bit and when I left, they mailed him to me in pieces. took me forever to put him back together. keep him to myself now, hide him so people don't destroy him." he mumbled. Doc tightened his hold on the smaller.

"you know me better than that love, I wouldn't hurt you, ever, and I certainly wouldn't destroy any of your stuff. I might tease you a little, but I'm not going to destroy something that means a lot to you." Doc assured. he looked over at the clock. "is almost 4 am, we can talk more later." Doc murmured. Lightning nodded curling up happily, clutching the bear, tightly to his chest, cuddling to his older lover, who absentmindedly, was rubbing his thumb over the youngers thigh. something he did every time they laid together, like it was comforting to the older man. or maybe he thought it was comforting to Lightning, maybe it was secretly comforting to them both. he didn't know, but he could hear the older man snoring behind him and smiled, closing his own eyes and settling into sleep.