Joke 1:
Stupid Students

TEACHER: Who is the President of Nigeria?
CHILDREN: (They all chorused) Lamido Sanusi!
TEACHER: Correct! Who is the Minister of Defence?
CHILDREN: Asari Dokubo!
TEACHER: Good! What is the capital city of Nigeria?
CHILDREN: Enugu!
TEACHER: Very good! Who composed the National Anthem?
CHILDREN: D-Banj!
TEACHER: Excellent. What do you call people from Moscow?
CHILDREN: Mosquitoes!
TEACHER: Perfect! How much is 2 + 5?
CHILDREN: 25!
TEACHER: That's great! You're going to be stupid like this until your government increases my salary!

Joke 2:
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”

Joke 3:
I should have

WIFE: I should have married the devil. Even he would make a better husband than you.
HUSBAND: But honey, marriage between relatives is illegal.

Joke 4:
National Lottery Draw

A pastor was praying for a demon-possessed man. He shouted, "In the name of Jesus, what do you want from this Man?! Speak! Before I cast you out into the lake of fire! The demon in the man said, "I want him to win the National Lottery Draw worth 200million dollars tonight." The pastor subtly lowered the microphone and whispered, "Get out of him and enter into me."

Joke 5:
Valentine died for love,
Romeo also died for love,
Jack in Titanic died for love,
Samson in the Bible died for love,
Greek heroes Hercules and Achilles died 4 love.
Even Jesus Christ died for love!
Where are the women?

Don't buy any woman a Valentine's treat/ Gift/ Diamond ring this year until she gives you atleast 5 names of women who died for love...

Because no woman would die for love...

Wake up guys...

Joke 6:
Types of Salaries

These are the names of different salaries...

1. Onion Salary – You grab it, you open it, and you cry.

2. Storm Salary – You don’t know when it’s coming or going.

3. Menstrual Salary – It comes once a month and lasts only four days.

4. Magic Salary – You touch it and it disappears.

5. Amnesia Salary – You can’t remember what you spent it on.

6. Time Traveling Salary – You spend it paying various debts even before you collect it.

Which one have you ever experienced?

Joke 7:
I'm Finished

The real meaning of I'm finished is when at night you lock the door to kill a snake and then electricity goes off...

Joke 8:
Big People Words

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the

first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher

insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit

my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a

choo-choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words."

She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great

pride and said, "Winnie the S*it."

Last Joke:
Medical Advice

Good medical advice from the Jewish sages of old:
1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it's harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind and body.3. F***ing refreshes you.4. After F***ing, don't eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try f***ing in bed because it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
So remember, FASTING is good for your health and may God cleanse your dirty mind!