Joke 1:
True saying.... Women never dress up to impress man, She dress up to irritate other women.

Joke 2:
The Rope Thief

A group of people were beating a thief, who was accused of stealing a goat. On their way, they met a pastor. PASTOR: Why are you beating him? PEOPLE: He stole a goat. THIEF: Haa! I didn't steal a goat, I only stole a rope, but at the end of the rope, there was a goat.

Joke 3:
A Drunk Man Never Lies

A drunk was sitting next to a woman in a bus stinking of alcohol the man was talking too much and irritating the woman because of the smell.At the next stop it was time for the woman to get off. As she was standing up to get off, she looked at the drunk and said "you are drunk and you stink!"  The man just sat there quietly, after the woman got off the bus and the bus started to moved, the man opened the window and yelled at her "at least tomorrow I'll be sober but you...you will still be ugly!"

Joke 4:
Fat Man vs Thin Man

Quarrel between a Fat man and a Thin man...FAT MAN TO THIN MAN: You know, you make me wonder whether there was a famine in the place you live.THIN MAN TO FAT MAN: You know, you make me believe that you were the cause of that famine!

Joke 5:
My Conversation

I was in a taxi chatting with my friend on Facebook and suddenly discovered that the man sitting beside me was reading my conversation. Since I did not want to embarrass the man, I decided to change the topic of the chat..."Abeg oga, please tell Kabiru Sokoto or Abu Qaqa that I only took two of the bombs we just manufactured for this operation. Let them know as well that I may find it difficult to get to the target place before the bombs explode because there is a terrible traffic now but nevertheless, I am sure the casualty figure will be high since we are five in our taxi and all the vehicles in the traffic will be affected too. "We have less than three minutes for the bomb to go off. Bye and take care of my parents and siblings as agreed."The Man, without allowing the taxi to stop quickly opened the taxi door and jumped out.

Joke 6:
Whatsapp Group

In a Whatsapp Group Chat...

JESUS: Truly, One of you will betray me today.

PETER: Not me Lord.

Judas has left the Group

Joke 7:
Righteous Robber

An robber ordered his victim to surrender all the money he had on him. The victim fearfully obeyed.After collecting the money, the robber asked his victim if he had brought all the money on him. The victim replied, "yes." Doubting the victim, the armed robber searched his pockets, finding some money in the inner pocket, the armed robber slapped the victims face and said "don't you know lying is a sin!"

Joke 8:
I love photography because it’s the only hobby where I can shoot people and cut their heads off, without going to jail…

Last Joke:
Ask Yourself These

Has anyone ever ponder about these questions below...  How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Why are they called building, when they are already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? Why are they called apartment, when they are stuck together? Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when asked what's the time? Why is a carrot more orange than orange? What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? Why do scientist call it research when looking for something new?
COMMENT IF YOU ARE AS CONFUSED AS ME